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| Jackson |
Could Damon be Jackson's demon mate? The question stuck with him since they left the hut, and all he could think about was asking Sebastien about demon imprints. He wanted to know how to do it, and then maybe he'd stop feeling like a part of him was missing.
But his conversation with Wilson clung to him, too. He thought about all the guys he dated before he found Damon, and although some were decent, most of them were assholes—he was even surer of that now that he knew they were energy vampires or weird spider people. They just wanted to use him, and he finally found someone who loved him for who he was rather than what he could give them.
He looked at the white wolf while he led the pack and smiled a little. He loved Damon so much; he had to be the answer to Jackson's current dismay the same way he was to everything that came before. Damon saved his life and introduced him to a world he would have never known existed. He was kind, gentle, and understanding. He was everything Jackson could need and want in a man.
Jackson looked behind him and located Sebastien, who was trailing behind. The winged hound still looked like he was panicking, and when Jackson focused, he could hear Sebastien's racing heart.
But then his eyes shifted to Wilson. Talking about his exes helped him remember a few things, and he wanted to talk more...but he also wanted to stay with Damon.
He looked at the Alpha while he pondered, and then he asked, "Did you...have any exes?"
Damon glanced at him and frowned. "Why are you asking?"
"I'm just curious."
"I went on a few dates with a few different women, but I never found what I was looking for, and I didn't know what it was until I found you."
Jackson smiled again. "I felt that way for a long time; I was kinda searching, I guess, for the right one. For you."
"Did you ever think that your right one would be thousands of miles away from home?" the Alpha asked curiously, but there was also a smirk on his face.
He thought about it for a moment. "It crossed my mind a few times. One time, I even considered taking a vacation somewhere just so I could see if I could find someone who wasn't a snooty or selfish city boy."
"Why didn't you take the vacation?"
"Work," he said with a sigh. "Wilson and I were close to having all the evidence we needed to expose an illegal gambling operation. I had to use my savings to play the game and record their conversations about laundering and smuggling."
Damon laughed quietly and shook his head. "You make me wonder more and more each day why you didn't just become a detective."
"I don't know," he mumbled as Damon led the pack towards a river. "Maybe after all this stuff is over. I'm sure there's a lot of room for people willing to try and solve mysteries out here, huh? Although now that I remember everything, things would probably be so much simpler in Dawnward."
The Alpha's amused expression faded. "You're going back to Nefastus after this?" he asked, glaring ahead.
Jackson could see the sadness on Damon's face, and it made him feel guilty. "Well, I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I haven't decided. But one thing I know for sure is that I wanna be where you are."
"I won't be leaving Ascela," the Alpha said firmly. "This is my birthplace and home, and that of my family, too."
"Would you not even consider it if it was safe?" Jackson asked with a frown.
Damon glanced at him as he said, "No. The snow and mountains and forest are all I know; even if I wanted to migrate to an urban area, the only place I'd consider would have to be out here."
Jackson understood. It upset him to think that Damon would never want to see Dawnward, but if his family had been in Ascela all their lives, it made sense. Damon probably felt the same anxiety about being in a totally different place as he did. He'd been thinking more about Dawnward lately—especially since finding Wilson—and although there was a part of him that wanted to go back once all of this was over, the part of him that wanted to stay with Damon was stronger.
Would that change, though? Would his homesickness outweigh his desire to stay with the man he loved?
No. He didn't want to think about it.
He looked at Damon, and when he saw the Alpha's conflicted expression, he tried his best to think of a way to change the subject. "What was your old packhouse like?" he asked curiously.
Damon looked saddened. "It was a large manor in the middle of one of Greykin's larger forests. It was gifted to my family by the Zenith and Lord Caedis when wolf walkers had to flee out here. It had a lot of murals and art either already on the walls or in frames. The master bedroom where my brother slept had a terrace which looked over the valley; we'd just stand out there a lot of the time watching the forest."
Jackson smiled sadly. "It sounds really pretty."
"What was it like where you lived?" Damon asked him.
His sadness thickened. "Well...I lived in a lot of places. The apartment with my parents, then my stepdad's place, and then my apartment with Wilson. The apartments weren't much, but Eric's house was huge. There were too many rooms for me to remember, and from what I do recall, a lot of them were empty or unused guest rooms. The place felt like this huge lonely, empty maze when no one was home. And when they were...well, when Eric was, it felt like a massive prison, and I was always sneaking around like some escaped convict."
Damon frowned at him.
Jackson shrugged and tried to keep the dismay of his past from ensnaring him, and when he remembered that Damon didn't really know much about it, he felt worse. He could see that the Alpha wanted more information—maybe he was curious or wanted to understand—and although Jackson didn't want to keep things from him, talking about this stuff always hurt and upset him.
He attempted to sigh away his despondency and stared ahead as Damon led the pack deeper into the woods. "I...never really knew why before, but it makes sense now," he said, realizing that recalling his childhood was bringing back memories the perception filter had warped. "Eric always treated me like this disgusting little outsider, and like I wasn't good enough for his money or whatever. He never wanted to be seen around me, so I was never invited to the fancy parties or was made to stay in my room when he had guests over. I thought it was because I was just his wife's kid, but...it was because I was a demon."
"Wouldn't he have felt the same way about your mother if that were the case?" Damon questioned.
"I don't know. I guess because she was an adult, she could control herself or hide what she was. But I was just this brat kid who couldn't keep his temper in check," he mumbled sullenly. "And of course, my stepbrother made it worse. Edward and his snooty little friends pushed me around and called me a whole bunch of things, and then when I snapped back, they all went crying to Eric, and I was the one who got beat for it."
Damon frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. My mother was similar; some of the other pups teased me, and although Alaric stood up for me, my mother saw it as a weakness. My father told me that if someone hit me, I should hit back harder. And my mother told me that if I didn't grow up, I'd remain—and I quote—an Omega bitch for the rest of my life."
Jackson's sadness transformed into anger. "Wow," he mumbled. "She sounds like a delight. N-no offence," he said, looking at Damon.
The Alpha laughed quietly and adorned a relaxed expression. "My mother was an atrocious woman. I miss her, of course, but that doesn't mean I forgive her for the shit she put my brother and me through."
"It's kinda like...the other way around with us," Jackson said amusedly. "Your dad tried to help...kinda, and my dad was an asshole. Your mom was an asshole, and my mom tried to help...also kinda. I mean...I know she meant well. I think that she was just being careful—you know, treading on thin lines. Eric was this big mercenary guy who hunted and captured Caeleste for a living, and he loved my mom, so he was keeping her safe. But she had to be careful, 'cause Eric loved her, not me. She was the only thing keeping him from sending me off to some Caeleste boarding school."
When Damon looked at him again, there was a confused and sorrowful look on his face.
But it wasn't despair that Jackson felt. He was surprised. "I think I just remembered a bunch of other stuff," he said, wide-eyed. "I knew Eric was this mercenary company guy, and now I know what he did specifically."
As much as it upset him, it really did seem like talking about his past would help him uncover everything that the perception filter masked.
However, his frown returned. "But...I saw the Nosferatu sigil on some of his letters. Why would a guy who hunts Caeleste for a living be actively communicating with the Caeleste government?"
Damon sighed deeply. "That would be a question for Sebastien."
Jackson looked back at the hound again, but he still looked tormented. "I don't know...he looks like he's going through something right now."
His eyes then locked with Wesley. He wanted to look away, but it seemed like the Gamma had something to say. So, he adorned an expectant expression.
Wesley moved closer so that he was walking right behind him and Damon. "I heard him talking in his little mirror. He asked his mate to leave Silverlake, and seemed pretty adamant about him contacting him once he got to wherever he was going."
"Oh...yeah, no wonder he looks like he's freaking out. Aeroplanes are freaky," Jackson mumbled, keeping his voice hushed.
But Wesley shook his head. "No, it was more like he was afraid that his mate wouldn't even get out of the city. I think seeing that infected fae spooked him and made him think Silverlake wasn't safe."
"That makes even more sense," Jackson said with a sigh. "Maybe I should leave him alone."
"Or talking to him and distracting him could help," the Gamma suggested.
"Or it will annoy him," Damon said.
"Yeah...I don't know which will happen 'cause I don't know him all that well," Jackson mumbled.
"No harm in trying," Wesley said.
Damon nodded. "We're going to stop by that ravine, so you can try talking to him while we rest."
Jackson set his eyes on the narrow ravine up ahead and took a deep breath. The thought of getting yelled at by some huge, winged demon hound made him nervous. But Sebastien was meant to be teaching him, right?
He stayed beside Damon until they reached the narrow passage, and when the pack started resting, he made his way over to Sebastien. As he glanced around nervously, he saw both Wilson and Julian move to follow him, but Wesley quickly let them know not to.
Sebastien shifted into his human form the moment the pack stopped and sat on a rock with his back to everyone. He was clasping his mirror in his hands, nervously tapping his feet on the ground. And it looked like he was trembling.
"Uh...Sebastien?" Jackson asked unsurely.
The white-haired demon sighed quietly and looked over his shoulder at him. "What?"
"I uh...had something to ask. I'm sorta remembering some stuff, and when I was thinking about my stepdad, it kinda confused me how he'd like...." He huffed and scratched the side of his face, trying to collect his thoughts and dismiss his nervousness. "My stepdad had this mercenary business where he hunted Caeleste. But I saw him communicating with the Nosferatu, and it's just a little confusing why a guy who hunts and even kills Caeleste is getting away with it."
Sebastien sighed again and turned to face him. "The Venaticus isn't the only law enforcement division within the Nosferatu. For example, while the Venaticus hunts troublesome demons, we have the Strigoi, which hunts troublesome vampires. Then we also have grey areas; some targets turn out to be in cities where our divisions don't have authority or headquarters, so we have third-party operations, like the one your stepdad runs. Bounty hunters, in a sense. Their practice bypasses laws that the Nosferatu can't, so we use them to find and bring in off-limits targets."
"What about the killing and torturing? I could hear all kinds of stuff coming out of the basement," Jackson muttered, cringing.
"Some targets are wanted dead," Sebastien said with a shrug. "Others have information, and there are sometimes targets who both have information and are wanted dead." He glanced down at his mirror. "Is that all? I'm kinda busy."
"Well...there was one more thing," he drawled.
Sebastien waved his hand, inviting him to speak.
"It's about demon imprints. I was talking to Wilson a little about it and like...I wanna know how to imprint on Damon."
"You...want to know how to do it?"
"Yeah. I just...have this feeling like something is missing, and I love Damon, so I know it's him I need to imprint on. I think the feeling will disappear once I do it," he explained anxiously.
"Uh-huh..." Sebastien droned with a confused expression on his face. "See, kid...here's the thing," he said, leaning back against the tree beside the rock, slouching. "Demons aren't like lycans. We don't find our fated mate and get to choose whether we reject them or imprint on them. When we find our mate, it just happens. It can happen at first glance, or it can happen weeks, months, or even years after we've found them. We don't get to slap our mark on them and call it a day," he said rather aggressively.
Jackson frowned at him. "So...I just have to wait?"
"Yep."
He looked down at the snow as he felt his despondency returning.
"Damon might not even be your demon mate," Sebastien added. "You're a hybrid of two—"
"Yeah, Wilson already said that," he interjected. "But I know it's Damon. It has to be."
Sebastien shrugged. "It could be anyone, kid."
Jackson wasn't going to argue about it. It was Damon, and all he could do was wait for his imprint to happen. But how long would it take? He didn't want to have to feel like a part of him was missing for another day, let alone weeks or months. But there wasn't anything he could do, was there? He just had to try and be patient about it.
"Right," he mumbled to Sebastien. "Thanks."
The white-haired demon then turned his back to him and the pack and stared down at his mirror again.
Jackson headed back over to Damon, but his heart felt heavy, and his head even more so. All he could think about was the pain inflicted by the feeling of emptiness, and his heart hurt knowing that he was going to have to wait for his demon imprint to happen on its own.
But a part of him was horrified that Sebastien and Wilson might be right. What if Damon wasn't his demon mate? What if there was someone else out there who he hadn't even met yet? The thought scared him, and it made him panic about how Damon would react if there was someone else. Jackson didn't want there to be someone else, and surely that desire was enough evidence that it was Damon.
It had to be him...didn't it?
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