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| Jackson |
The sun was rising outside, and Jackson lay beside Damon unable to fall back asleep. He must have only gotten a few hours. Ever since last night, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about the fact that something was still missing from him.
He glanced at Damon, who was still sleeping. No matter how many times he told himself that the Alpha was right—that he'd eventually get all of his memories back—he couldn't settle. He couldn't stop worrying that something would go wrong and he'd stay feeling lost and as though there was a hole in his chest.
With a quiet sigh, he rolled onto his side and gazed at Damon. A part of him wanted to wake him up so that they could talk and he didn't have to lay there alone in silence, but so much was going on lately, and he knew that Damon needed his sleep.
Jackson rolled onto his back and stared at the cracked, frozen ceiling. But before he could sink deeper into his thoughts, he heard rustling outside. The first thing he felt was anxiety, and as he slowly shuffled closer to the window and peered outside, he was afraid he might see a cadejo or hunters. But he couldn't smell rotting flesh, nor could he hear humans.
It took him a moment to locate what made the sound, and when he set his eyes on the white and brown-striped tiger crouched in the snow, Jackson calmed down. What was Wilson doing out there, though? He watched him prowl through the snow towards the tree line, and when he spotted a brown hare eating the berries from a bush, he assumed that his friend must be hunting.
He watched through the window as Wilson slowly moved through the snow, and when he pounced, the rabbit fled into the woods before he could try to grab it with his teeth.
"Fuck," Wilson grumbled.
Amused, Jackson smirked slightly. Then, he looked at Damon again. He didn't want to be alone, and he didn't want to wake the Alpha up. Wilson was awake, so maybe he could go and hang out with him for a little while.
He carefully got out of bed and left the room as quietly as possible. To his relief, he didn't wake Damon, nor any of the pack as he crept past and over their sleeping bodies towards the door.
When he got outside, he made his way around to the back of the hut. But Wilson was nowhere to be seen. Jackson frowned and looked around; he spotted paw tracks in the snow leading into the woods, so he followed them.
However, the further he got from the hut, the more hesitant he started feeling. He looked over his shoulder, and as he realized that he could no longer see the building, he tensed up and stifled a worried murmur.
"Uh...Wilson?" he called, looking around as he moved deeper into the woods.
Something rustled through the brush.
Jackson stopped walking and sharply turned his head towards the sound. But he couldn't see anything.
A twig snapped behind him.
He swung around again, "W-Wilson?" he questioned nervously. He focused his senses and tried to locate what he was hearing, but he couldn't feel an aura or anything.
And then came a low, rumbling growl.
Jackson prepared to shift, but before he had the chance, a blur of orange and white burst out of the bushes and crashed into him. He shrieked and panicked, but when he realized that he wasn't being torn apart, he frowned and stared at what had him pinned to the ground.
"Boo," Wilson said with a grin, his sharp teeth glistening in the early morning sunlight.
Jackson scowled and pouted. "You're not funny," he grumbled, trying to push the tiger away.
Wilson laughed as he backed off and let Jackson stand up. "I was just testing you. With you being a hybrid and all, I was curious as to whether you could detect me."
As he wiped the snow from his trousers, Jackson rolled his eyes. "And you had to pounce on me to determine that?"
"No," he said with a shrug. "I just thought it'd be funny."
"Well, it wasn't."
Still laughing, Wilson shook his head and sat down.
"What are you doing out here anyway?" Jackson questioned.
"Hunting. I got hungry and didn't feel like waiting for everyone else to wake up."
"Yeah, well. You suck," Jackson sneered. "I saw you miss the hare."
Wilson scoffed. "Hey, I'm not used to all this snow. I'm supposed to be out in rainforests."
Jackson leaned against a tree as a curious frown made its way to his face. "I don't know if you ever told me—and I don't remember anyway—but why did you move to Dawnward, then? If you're meant to be out in rainforests and all that, then shouldn't you be in Samayō-Akuma or Samjang or something?"
The tiger sighed sullenly. "Yeah, I told you this one. But since you don't remember—perception filters and all—I'll tell you again."
As much as he wanted to know, he could see that Wilson was upset. "You don't have to talk about it. It's—"
"No, it's cool. Well, when I was a kid—before I met you—we were in Samjang. I know there are a few scattered families of muto-tigris; some are in Dor-Sanguis and others in Lǎohǔ zhī dì. But my family fled from Samjang when hunters started closing in on where we were hiding. My parents and my sister and I were the only ones who got away. We knew Dawnward was safe because the Nosferatu have a big influence over there. And it was safe until we started digging into the wolf walker business," he explained.
Jackson frowned sympathetically. "Wow...I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that I don't remember. I'm trying to...it's just...I don't know what to do. I talked to Damon last night and—"
"Yeah, we all heard you talking," Wilson muttered bitterly.
He refrained from snapping and continued, "And I said that maybe asking you to tell me more about the stuff we did together could help."
Wilson's sour expression ran away from his face. "Sounds like a plan. Well...I could tell you about Keith."
Jackson frowned. "I remember Keith."
"Yeah, but do you remember that he was an energy vampire?"
His frown thickened. "Uh...no." Of course he wouldn't remember that. The perception filter probably made him think that all of his exes and one-night stands were human.
Wilson chuckled and shook his head. "You gotta remember always feeling tired around the guy, right?"
He tried to recall the two weeks he spent dating Keith. "Um...I mean yeah. I thought I was sick or something."
"And you ran to the ER asking for scans and everything," he laughed.
Jackson scowled in embarrassment. "I was worried, okay!"
"You were scouring the internet for answers and were convinced you had the most rarest of sicknesses, Jack," Wilson laughed.
He rolled his eyes again. "Whatever."
"I remember what happened when the doctor said that you were being fed on by an energy vampire, though."
"What happened? All I remember is...uh...he gave me something. A pill?"
"He gave you vitamins," the tiger snickered. "Specially made for people who live with energy vampires."
Jackson sighed deeply. "Why did I break up with him again?"
"Oh, he broke up with you...maybe because I told him to."
"What?" Jackson exclaimed. "I actually liked that guy."
"Yeah, but at the rate he was draining you, you'd have been a corpse in a few more days. He had to go," Wilson insisted.
Jackson looked down at the snow as he felt his sadness growing. "Yeah...I remember how he used to talk and talk and talk, and I'd get tired pretty fast."
Wilson then shifted out of his tiger form. "I might as well conserve my energy for when we get moving."
But Jackson didn't respond. The memories of Keith were all coming back: the places they went, the conversations they had, and the things Jackson felt for him. He was one of the few guys he dated who he actually developed real feelings for. But it would have never worked out, especially if he was draining his energy whenever they were together.
Why...did he feel so depressed? He'd found his mate; why was he moping over ex-boyfriends?
"What about Ben? Do you remember him?" Wilson asked as he walked over and leaned against the same tree.
Jackson glanced over his shoulder at him. "Yeah, the coffee shop guy." He huffed and glared down at the snow. "Let me guess: some kinda soul-sucking lizard person?"
"Close," Wilson said with a smirk. "Dude was a geomi."
"I literally have no idea what that is."
"A spider guy," Wilson told him.
Jackson grimaced. "What?"
"I found you both all wrapped up in webs one morning. It was kinda gross."
"Yeah, I...I think I'm gonna be sick," Jackson said, feeling nauseous.
"I dunno what it was, to be honest. You always attracted all these crazy guys who all wanted to suck something from you."
"Gross," he groaned.
"And not just sexually—"
"I get it, Wilson. God." He exhaled and crossed his arms. "He wrote his number on my coffee cup."
"Yeah, and you called him that same night. Next morning...webs everywhere," Wilson said with a sigh.
"I remember it differently. I was tangled up in my blankets or something," Jackson said, trying to recall the moment. "I despise the thing, but I gotta admit that the perception filter did a pretty good job at covering shit up."
Wilson stood in front of Jackson and leaned his hand against the tree beside Jackson's head. "All right, what about Shaun?"
Jackson grunted. "How could I forget that asshole? He stole my phone and wallet...and my laptop."
"That's valefar demons for ya, Jack. Kinda like how an incubus feeds off sexual energy or whatever, valefar feed off the thrill of stealing shit from people and breaking trust and all that."
"How long did he get? I forgot."
"Two years. When they arrested him for stealing your stuff, they got him on several other counts of theft, too," Wilson answered. "Dude's probably still inside."
Jackson nodded and shrugged. "I think he was the worst guy I dated."
Wilson scoffed.
"What?" Jackson questioned...waiting for him to say Da—
"Cory," Wilson said, taking his hand off the tree. "That guy was the biggest prick you'd ever brought home, and that's saying something because Harley, James, and Brandon were fucking assholes, too."
Jackson thought to himself for a moment. "I didn't think Cory was that bad."
"That's 'cause you couldn't see it. You were too in love with that guy. The fancy hair, the rich-boy car, the expensive dates. And don't get me started on the gifts—"
"Just because he had money doesn't mean he was an asshole," Jackson said with a pout.
"You couldn't see what he was doing to you," Wilson said as he scratched the side of his face. "You stopped clubbing, you stopped hanging out with me, and you even spent less and less time working. I had to suck up to Holt to stop him from firing you."
Jackson wanted to argue...but now that he was thinking about it, Wilson was right. "Yeah...and he was?"
"Vampire."
"Of course."
Wilson snickered amusedly. "Sorry, it's just kinda funny now that you're not forgetting all this stuff."
Jackson sighed sullenly and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." But he still felt that hole in his heart. For some reason, remembering all the people he'd been with made him feel sadder. Back then, he'd been through so many guys searching for the right one...and that was Damon, wasn't it?
"Hey, you all right?" Wilson asked, placing his hand on Jackson's shoulder. "I'm sorry if I upset you, man. I didn't—"
"No, it's not you. I just...I don't know. Maybe I'll remember everything someday."
Wilson moved closer, keeping his hand on Jackson. "What's up? You can tell me, man."
He shrugged again and shook his head as he sunk a little deeper into dismay. "It's like...there's something missing from me, you know? I think it's my altered memories, but...what if it isn't? Yeah, I remember some stuff now, but it's not that which made me feel something. It was when you were talking about Keith. I really liked that guy...and then there were all the other guys, and I know that I was going through them like dominos, and I think it was because I was trying to find 'the one'," he muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Well...Sebastien did say something about how demons have this instinct to search for their mate. Maybe sleeping with all those guys was you trying to find your mate," Wilson said with a shrug.
"But I've found him," Jackson insisted. "It's Damon."
Wilson looked away from him with a pondering look on his face. "Well," he drawled, slowly turning his head to look at him again. "You're a hybrid...you're two Caeleste who find mates. I mean...maybe...."
Jackson knew what he was getting at. "I...might have two?"
"I mean...maybe," he said, dragging his hand over the back of his neck. "What if Damon's your wolf walker mate, and your demon mate is still out there somewhere?"
He thought about it...he thought hard about it. Could that be it? Was that the thing making him feel like there was this huge part of him that was missing? And was that why when he looked at Damon when he felt this emptiness, the Alpha only made him feel so much better?
Jackson slowly sunk down to the ground and sat against the tree. "I don't know," he mumbled despondently. "I love Damon—I love him so much," he said, shaking his head.
"But you can love more than one person, right?" Wilson suggested.
"I don't know," he uttered sullenly. "I just...I don't know!" he insisted, becoming frustrated.
Wilson frowned in confliction. "Well...I don't know everything about demons, but Sebastien has a human mate, right? So...maybe...I guess Damon could also be your demon mate."
Could he? Jackson glanced in the direction of the hut and pondered. "There's imprinting for demons, right?"
"Yeah."
"So...maybe that's what it is. Maybe I need to imprint on Damon," he said, and the more he thought about it, his sadness started withering. "I should ask Sebastien how to do it."
Wilson looked down at the snow. "Yeah, he might know."
Jackson frowned at him. "What?"
"Nothing, I'm just...sorry if I upset you, is all."
"You didn't upset me, it's cool," Jackson assured him. "You actually helped, so thanks."
"Yeah, no worries," Wilson said, but he still sounded sad. Was it because he hated Damon?
Jackson didn't want to have another conversation about that. He knew that Wilson didn't like his mate, and Damon didn't like his best friend. He was pretty sure that things would stay that way; they might learn to tolerate one another, but that was probably as far as things would go.
"I think we should get back," Wilson then said. "I think I heard a couple of your wolf friends waking up."
When he concentrated his senses in the direction of the hut, he could hear a few muffled voices. "Yeah, you're right. We're heading to the lake today. I'm kinda curious about the monster they were saying lives in the water," he said as he followed Wilson through the woods.
"You actually think there's something in there?" his friend asked with an amused smile.
"Well...yeah. I feel like I'm inclined to believe a lot of things. I mean I barely know or remember anything about the Caeleste world; I'm still learning."
Wilson nodded slowly. "What do you think it is?"
"What do you think it is?"
"I dunno. Some sort of crocodile or water monster. Maybe a snake or eel or something weird like that."
"I mean...if it comes out to stop people from breaking the neutral ground laws, it's gotta be something big and powerful, right?" Jackson assumed as they reached the tree line.
Wilson replied, "Maybe it's a dragon."
"A sea dragon," Jackson concurred. "Is it weird that I wanna see one? I always thought they were fairy tales and from movies."
"I haven't seen one, and I want to, so you're not weird."
"Oh, there you are," Tokala suddenly called. The orange wolf hurried over to them as they stopped walking. "Where were you?"
"Just out huntin'," Wilson answered before Jackson could. "We were tryna catch breakfast for everyone, but all I found were hares."
Tokala looked a little skeptical but nodded and said, "Yeah, hares are hard to catch sometimes. We're just waiting for everyone else to wake up and then we'll head out. We'll hunt on the way to the lake."
"Is Damon awake?" Jackson asked. He didn't want to walk in there and find Damon waiting for him; he'd probably be mad that he left him to go and hang out with Wilson. He understood why, though. Damon was just trying to protect him.
Tokala shook his head. "Not yet."
"What about Sebastien?"
The orange wolf adorned a conflicted expression. "He is...but he's a little snappy. I think he's waiting for his mate to call."
Jackson didn't want to bother him. "Okay, thanks." Then, he started heading for the hut.
"I'm gonna stay out here," Wilson said as he followed Tokala away from Jackson.
"Oh...okay."
Jackson headed inside, and as he crossed the room, he glanced at Sebastien. He looked paranoid, trembling while he held onto his mirror as if it were his most prized possession. Had something happened? Jackson wanted to ask, but he also wanted to make sure that Damon woke up with him beside him. He also didn't want to get snapped at.
He quietly pushed the bedroom door open, slinked inside, and closed it behind him. To his relief, Damon was still asleep. So, he made his way over to the bed and climbed in. He shuffled closer to the Alpha, and when he rested his head on his chest, Damon stirred and rolled onto his side. He wrapped his arms around Jackson, pulling him closer, and finally, Jackson felt totally content.
Maybe he was right. What if Damon was his demon mate, too? What if the emptiness he felt was because he hadn't yet imprinted on him? He wanted to find out, and once Sebastien was in a calmer mood, he'd ask.
"Where did you go?" Damon suddenly asked, his voice a murmur.
Jackson tried to fight his nervousness. "I couldn't sleep," he answered. "I saw Wilson hunting, so I went out there to help."
"Mm," the Alpha muttered. "Did you catch anything?"
"No."
The Alpha grunted and started grinding his crotch against Jackson's.
Jackson's nervousness transformed into angst, and as he felt Damon's hard shaft rubbing against his leg, he couldn't help but give in to the arousal it was making him feel.
"Can I fuck you again?" Damon murmured as he nuzzled Jackson's hair.
"Yes," Jackson immediately answered.
The thought of being enthralled by Damon's affection increased his contentedness, and all he wanted to feel right now was the happiness and relief that his mate brought him.
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