❛ Fake it if you're out of direction. Fake it if you don't belong here. Fake it if you feel like infection. ❜
SEASON 4, EPISODE 11
claimed
━━━━━━ October 18, 2011
BIANCA AND CARL SAT in the dining room eating breakfast. A somberness blanketed over them, with neither wanting to upset the other. They both carried a mountain of pain that had caused them to hurt themselves and each other.
⠀⠀⠀Carl nearly got himself killed after losing Judith. He'd gone outside to prove he could take care of himself, and while he did, he'd nearly gotten killed. Bianca tried to kill herself by ODing after it just got to be too much.
⠀⠀⠀Now, they were doing miles better, and it was thanks to Michonne. She was a beacon of hope that if she could survive, maybe they'd find the others, too. Bianca held onto her hope for Cal in a tight fist like before.
⠀⠀⠀Michonne entered the kitchen with an easy smile. It was the kind that filled her face and reminded Bianca of a life they could've led. Not that she would've known any of the people in this room. She liked to imagine that everyone lived on the same street. They'd go to the Grimes family for breakfast on Saturday mornings, wasting away until late afternoon.
⠀⠀⠀Michonne looked up to see Bianca and Carl staring at her, and she smirked.
⠀⠀⠀"Do you two have somethin' to say about my extremely comfortable and attractive shirt?" Michonne asked.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca huffed in amusement as Carl chuckled. Bianca's eyes flickered toward him, and the ghost of a smile rose to her lips.
⠀⠀⠀"No, no, no. It looks great. Oh, you missed a..." Carl said, pointing to one of her buttons.
⠀⠀⠀Michonne sat down, opened the bag of cereal, and poured herself a bowl.
⠀⠀⠀"I wish we had some soy milk," she sighed.
⠀⠀⠀"Seriously?" Carl asked, disgusted.
⠀⠀⠀"Yes, seriously. Have you ever tried it?"
⠀⠀⠀"My best friend in third grade he was allergic to dairy, and every day, he would bring this soy stuff to lunch. I tried it," Carl said as casually as the breeze.
⠀⠀⠀"And?"
⠀⠀⠀"I threw up."
⠀⠀⠀Michonne laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, yeah, right."
⠀⠀⠀"Alright, alright. I almost threw up. But I was like, ugh!"
⠀⠀⠀The two laughed heartily together. Bianca stared at Carl, distant, as she mulled over his words. Maybe it was the degree of separation between his third-grade class and where he was now, but Carl wasn't upset to discuss his old life. It was something else that stayed untouched by walkers. His class was somewhere, miles away, safe.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca felt the same way about her friends. Elena and Peter went to New York to visit her dad. Bianca didn't know what happened to them, never would, but sometimes she could imagine they were safe, untouched by reality. Before going to bed, Bianca would sometimes imagine what they were doing.
⠀⠀⠀Then, Bianca wondered if Carl had been in third grade when the turn happened. She wasn't sure. The days blurred together, and she felt like she'd lived ten lifetimes since she first met Carl. When he barely stood to her stomach, his skin was a pasty white, and his freckles darker than his hair. Now, he was nearly as tall as her and looked twice his age. He had grown so much from that day under the tree that it felt strange to think of them as the same.
⠀⠀⠀"It was so gross. I mean, literally, I would rather have powdered milk than have to drink that stuff again. I would rather have Judith's formu—!"
⠀⠀⠀Carl shattered. The table froze, and their appetite was suppressed as reality came full force at them.
⠀⠀⠀"I'm gonna go finish my book," Carl muttered. "I have a couple chapters left," he said, leaving the room.
⠀⠀⠀The two women were left in silence. Bianca twirled her spoon in her bowl until she annoyed herself at the clinking noise and lack of milk. She dropped it and glanced at Michonne to see the deep worry lines work down her face.
⠀⠀⠀Michonne forced a smile when their eyes met. It told her Bianca would be okay because they were safe and together.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca knew she wasn't as close to Michonne as Cal was, but she started to appreciate everything Michonne had done for her. She hated that jealousy coursed through her over the past few months and wished that her mind didn't play against her. She wanted to be her friend.
⠀⠀⠀"I know he will be," Michonne said.
⠀⠀⠀"When we find Judith and Cal, everything will be better," Bianca said.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca noticed the look Michonne sent her. The one she had gotten from everyone when she first claimed she'd find Cal. A look of sadness and pity deeper than the ocean because they blamed young naivety more than anything. Their separation (twice now) proved to them that it wasn't likely. Cal was dead to them, and she was dragging around his ghost.
⠀⠀⠀But Bianca did know. She could feel it in her gut that Cal was alive. She knew that if she survived, others did, too.
⠀⠀⠀"I admire your optimism," Michonne said. Her words were soft, and she patted Bianca's hand lying on the table. The sentiment felt forced. It rubbed Bianca the wrong way—not because Michonne's words were disingenuous—but because there was always a layer of trust Bianca never seemed to hold in people. Her intuition never lied, Bianca knew that as fact.
⠀⠀⠀"It's not optimism. I know he is," Bianca snapped harder than she meant to. She stood and walked into the living room to escape.
⠀⠀⠀"Hey," Bianca greeted Carl.
⠀⠀⠀She didn't want to hole herself upstairs, so she joined him on the couch.
⠀⠀⠀"Hey," Carl muttered but didn't look up from his book.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca rested her arm against the back of the couch and sat close enough to read over his shoulder. Carl adjusted how he held his book so she could read the page. Bianca's hand stroked his hair, and they relaxed against each other.
⠀⠀⠀Despite their lows, Bianca thought it was funny how close they'd gotten. Bianca had never been good with kids before Carl. They irritated her to no end, and she kept her distance when she could. However, this one wormed his way under her skin. He was like a brother to her, and she would do anything for him. She loved him more than words could describe, and he wasn't even her blood.
MICHONNE AND CARL DECIDED to go on a supply run while Bianca and Rick stayed at the house for the rest they desperately needed. Rick was still healing, while Bianca was slowly recovering. Bianca did want to join the pair, but when Michonne was able to make Carl laugh, she knew he needed the time with Michonne.
⠀⠀⠀The house felt like limbo as they stood on the front porch together. They were stuck between past and present as their friends entered the world.
⠀⠀⠀"How long you think you'll be?" Rick asked Michonne.
⠀⠀⠀"Fill a couple of bags. Shouldn't be too long."
⠀⠀⠀"It's 8:15 now."
⠀⠀⠀"We'll be back by noon."
⠀⠀⠀"Alright," he nodded, then turned to Carl. "You follow her lead. You understand?"
⠀⠀⠀Carl didn't respond. His eyes were downcast under the brim of his hat as a slight frown pulled down his features.
⠀⠀⠀"Hey. Everything okay?" Rick nudged him.
⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, I'm just..." Carl muttered, looking for the words. "Hungry."
⠀⠀⠀The three shared a look before letting it go. They were all hungry. It was just a matter of finding food.
⠀⠀⠀"Alright, we'll see you in a couple hours," Rick dismissed them.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca squeezed Carl's shoulder and then followed Rick inside the quiet house. Rick started to push the couch against the door before Bianca slipped in beside him to bump it against it. Rick raised a brow but didn't say anything.
⠀⠀⠀"You look tired," Bianca noted.
⠀⠀⠀"Thanks," Rick laughed softly, shaking his head.
⠀⠀⠀"Take a nap. I'll keep an eye out down here," Bianca said. She collapsed onto the couch with a smile. Rick's worry wasn't just on his face, it radiated from him. "I'm okay. I'll still be here when you wake up."
⠀⠀⠀Rick smiled back at her. The exhaustion seeped into every angle of his features, and he nodded. His body seemed to agree with her comment as his shoulders slumped forward, and Rick yawned loudly. Slowly, he walked up the stairs as Bianca settled into the couch. She grabbed the book Carl had been reading and started it from the beginning.
AUTHOR'S NOTE —
To make the chapters go between Bianca and Cal some sacrifices had to be made. And that includes this short kind of boring chapter. Sorry, but it works! And I just love her and Carl so much. They are the sweetest beans.
SONG: Fake It by Seether
Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like, they keep me motivated! However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.