Tw sh
Bucky🤷🏼♀️ is now online.
TK is now online.
Hen is now online.
Judd is now online.
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
im so boredd
TK:
do smthing then
Judd:
im at the gym
Hen:
do something buck
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
i dont have anything to do
thats the point
i dont have anything to do in my stupid apartment :(
TK:
do u reckon id be allowed to add my bf
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
do ittt
i wanna meet him
TK added Carlos.
TK:
carlos meet buck
Carlos:
hey buck
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
hey carlos!
im buck
Carlos:
its lovely to meet you buck
tk never ever shuts up about you
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
aweee
he doesnttt?
TK:
zip it
both of u
Hen:
i'm hen
basically bucks big sister
Carlos:
nice to meet you hen!
Judd:
you seriously never shut up about buck?
@TK
TK:
i hate u all
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
no u dont <3
TK:
im not too sure ab u now
Carlos:
tk.
be nice
TK:
yes sir🫡
Judd:
ew
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
ur right
ew
TK:
im going
i hate u all
apart from u buck
TK is now offline.
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
love u too
Carlos:
what ab me :(
Judd:
i have to go
gym things to do
Hen:
i have to go shopping
i'm going as well
it was nice to meet you carlos
Hen is now offline.
Judd is now offline.
Carlos:
so buck
how's california?
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
hot
too hot
hows texas?
Carlos:
not that bad
not much criminal activity
it's boring
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
tk did mention u were a cop
being a cop must be cool
Carlos:
yeah it's pretty cool
i do like my gun
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
ive always wanted to hold a gun tbh
idek y
Carlos:
if u ever come down to texas ill teach you
Bucky🤷🏼♀️:
thanks man
but i gotta go
see u laterrrr
Bucky🤷🏼♀️ is now offline.
I sent before shutting off my phone and finally getting up from my bed and stretching. My back ached and my legs were weak, my arms hurting and scarred.
I knew I had failed, cutting was the first sign of me failing but I knew I had to get up and do stuff. Get up and get on with my life.
I had let my weakness take hold of me for too long and I never wanted to fail but I knew I had to do something, cutting helped with that.
I had work in a short while, I didn't know how I was gonna cover up my arms. My long sleeved shirt was still in my locker, at work, at the station and I couldn't go there early because that was suspicious. Eddie had a spare shirt but I couldn't tell him why I needed to borrow it, that would just cause a lot of problems and then Bobby would get involved.
Life fucking sucks.
A loud groan was heard throughout my apartment and all I heard after that was a small voice.
"You ok Buck?" Albert yelled from downstairs. From his place on the couch.
"Yeah! I'm ok." I yelled back, stomping down the stairs and walking straight for the kitchen. My head hung low as I made coffee, my hoodie rustling against my arms and brushing over the signs of weakness.
"Well I'm going out, see you later Buck. Enjoy work." Albert rants, slamming the door behind him as he rushed out the apartment.
"See you." I mumble to empty air, a lingering sensation of loneliness around me.
The time until work had passed quickly, much too quickly for my liking and before I knew it I was sat in my truck outside work, wondering what I was gonna do.
Private messages
TK - Buck
Buck:
i have a question
God I hope he replies quick enough.
TK:
yh?
what is it?
Buck:
promise u wont flip out
promise me
TK:
i promise
pinky promise
what is it buck
ur scaring me
Buck:
look im rlly sorry ab bringing this up but when u used to do drugs how did u hide it at work
like the track marks
not the highness
TK:
i never did drugs when i was a firefighter
dont tell me u started doing drugs man
Buck:
i have not started doing drugs
acc it doesnt matter anymore
ill see u later
Buck is now offline.
I give up, I'll just have to be extremely careful today. I hop out my truck, plastering on a fake face of happiness. I stroll in, trying to look normal as I wave a few people.
Heading for the locker room I saw no one, which was both unnerving and good. Someone might round the corner while I get changed and the windows, people could look in through the windows. Shit.
I saunter in, trying to look normal. I manage to get on my long sleeve shirt with no problems. Thank god.
~~time skip~~
The rest of my shift went fine, a few minor calls and that was it. I spent most of it on the couch upstairs, playing random games with Eddie and Hen. I won mostly all of them. Especially Mario Cart, Eddie was crap at it and Hens not that good of a driver.
Private messages
Tk - Buck
Tk:
so r u gonna tell me what was up before or nah
Buck:
i was curious 🤷🏼♀️
i haven't done anything stupid
promise
Tk:
ru sure
i care ab u dumbass
Buck:
ik u do
i haven't done anything stupid dumbasser
TK:
ok then
i'll let u get back to whatever u were doing
see u later man
TK is now offline.
I hate lying to TK but I didn't know what to do. It's not like I was gonna continue self harming, was I?