My feelings for Jaq hadn't changed. I wanted to make a move, I seriously did but I know what she's involved in. Getting with her puts me as her weak spot, meaning if someone had a target on her they could potentially harm me to get to her.
But this crush was getting bad, now. I've finally understood and accepted that yes, I am bisexual. Now I just had to deal with it.
Since I'd been staying with Jaq, we'd gotten much closer than before. If she was home in the evening, we'd watch bullshit on tv and always have a cup of tea in the morning. I stayed in Lauryn's old room and Jaq stayed in hers.
It was evening again and we were chilling on the sofa. Jaq had gotten takeaway for us and we were watching tipping point. She was on her phone and I was on mine so really we weren't watching anything. I was trying to think of the best way to speak to her about it.
A question was said on the show and Jaq looked up. The contestant got the answer wrong and she shook her head, "Dickhead, that was easy," Jaq said but I just kept gazing at her. She looked back down on her phone and must've felt my gaze on her. "Yeah?" She said, looking up.
"Wait, wait, I just wanna try something quickly..." I breathed and then cupped her cheek with my hand.
"What are you..?"
I leaned forward and kissed her softly. It took a second and then started to kiss me back. Her lips were soft and she tasted of fresh, mint gum mixed with weed. It was odd but it was so sweet. The kiss was short but everything I've been waiting for the past few months. I pulled away and looked at her for a second, "I-" I said, about to explain myself but she cut me off by kissing me again.
We were kissing for a minute longer until Jaq pulled away. She glanced at my lips and then smirked at me. "I'm sorry, I-" I tried to apologise but she cut me off.
"Why are you apologising?" Jaq asked, "Never knew you moved like that, otherwise I would've done something a long time ago,"
I shook my head, "I- I don't, I mean, I do, but this is all new to me, I've been... I've been crushing on you for time," I stammered and Jaq chuckled at me, "What?" I asked.
"Nothing, it's cute," She said and I smiled, looking down, feeling slightly flustered.
"So what are we doing, then?" I asked, nervously, "I've never been with a girl before," I murmured, expecting her to frown but she just smirked at me.
"How 'bout I take you out, babes?" She offered and I smiled, "Yeah?"
"Mm," I hummed and she kissed me softly again.
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Attica was dead.
He'd been murdered and they found his body in a skip. I checked my phone when I woke up and saw the news article, I immediately went to find Jaq and tell her but she'd already left the house. This confused me, it was still early.
I got out of bed and quickly got dressed. I pulled my hair back into a low bun (it was curly again, sprung back into place as soon as I washed it.
Anyways, I put my coat on and left the house. I walked around a little and then saw Jaq standing just outside the block. A couple of the youngers were being spoken to by a fed and she seemed to be watching them. "Heard the news?" She asked me, as I came over.
"Mhm," I mumbled, "Are you alright?" I asked and she nodded, she sniffed and then wiped he mouth.
"Yo, Jaq," Someone called, we looked to the side and noticed it was Kieron.
"What?" Jaq asked.
"Come. You need to see this." Kieron said, "You too," He said, nodding at me. We walked over to where him and Romy were standing. "Remember my cousin Danny? The one who does computers repairs and that," He asked, Jaq mumbled a reply but I had no idea who this Danny bloke was. "He saw this on his camera, fam. The one outside the shop. It's Ats, blud,"
Kieron tapped on his phone and pulled up a video. Jaq and I leaned to watch. "It's definitely him, innit?" Kieron said, "Look, this is the part, cuz. Watch this."
We stood over the phone and watched the video. In the video, a yellow car drove up and someone got out. "Who the fuck is this brudda?" Jaq almost exclaimed. "Shit, they just grabbed him!" In the video, the people who has gotten out of the car and grabbed Ats, shoving him inside the car.
"It's mad," Romy said.
"Who the fuck's this bitch?" I asked, when I noticed one of the people getting into the car's face was clear. Kieron rewinded the video and zoomed in on her face.
"Who is she?" Jaq asked.
"Don't know," Kieron said.
"She ain't from the ends," Romy added.
"Hey, Kieron, send me her picture," Jaq asked.
"Say nothin'," Kieron said and took a screenshot of her face.
"What, are we gonna give it to the feds?" I asked, with confusion.
"Fuck, no, man," Jaq said, "Dushane's gonna wanna take care of this ting in-house, hear what I'm sayin'?"
"Send it out to everyone we know," Jaq instructed, "Tell 'em don't put it on socials or nothin'. We need to keep this shit controlled. Anybody sees the bitch, they bell me instantly. Man needs to find her rapid, bruv,"
Then, the two of us walked away from Kieron and Romy.
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Later on, we were in the bando again, discussing this Ats business. There'd been no news on this girl and Jaq was pissed. "So what you're sayin' is, no one knows who she is?" Jaq asked, in disbelief, "How old would you say she is?"
"What, that ting there?" Bradders said, "About 20 or some shit."
"Nah, man. More like 15?" Samsi said.
"Yeah, 15,16." Kieron agreed.
"Right. So that means she's still in school, yeah?" Jaq guessed, and the youngers nodded, "So youse two need to go pree all the schools and show her picture round and that."
"That's long," Bradders said.
"Shut up, man," Kieron said, "What's wrong with you?"
"What do you mean, bruv? There's bare schools."
"So what?"
"Fam, she's gonna be on social media, bro. Insta, snapchat an' that. Come on, man," Romy said.
"That's calm, then, just post her picture on-" Bradders suggested.
"No, bro," Jaq said, "We don't need this shit going viral. Gotta keep it in the 'hood."
"Plus we don't need her knowing we're looking for her." I added on and then somebody knocked at the door.
"Ay, who the fuck is that?" Kieron said, with confusion.
"I don't even know," Romy said, "Let me check, bro." He said, getting up, "It's these man still," He said, coming back in the room a second later with Kit and Jamie.
"What you lot sayin'?" Jamie said and Jaq approached him straight away.
"Seen this?" She asked him, showing him the photo.
"Yeah, man," Jamie replied.
"You know her?" Jaq questioned.
"Nah,"
"What you saying, Kit? You know her?" Jaq asked, turning to Jamie's bredrin. Kit shook his head. "So you two have no idea who done Ats, nah?"
"Why would we know?" Jamie asked, with confusion.
"Are we gonna act like Kit never tried to kill the kid in his own yard?" Jaq said. What the fuck? I never knew this.
"You know why that went down," Jamie said, getting defensive, "And you know that's old news now, innit?"
"Coincidence, though, don't you think?" Jaq said, "You come out, Ats gets laid out."
"The fuck are you tryin' to say, fam?"
Jamie said, getting defensive again.
"Say nothin'," Jaq said, "Bring me Jamie's ting," She told Romy, Jamie looked confused. "Special customer. He's certified. Give him that for free." Romy passed on the package then Jamie left with Kit.
"Ay, dem man got too much fuckin' attitude, you know." I spoke up. I was sat beside Romy on the sofa.
"Word," Romy agreed.
Kieron was on the phone and seemed to be getting pissed. Romy and I turned our attention to him. "Yo, Jaq, man," Kieron said, getting up to find her, "Found that girl," I heard him say.
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation but then Kieron called at us, "Yo Romy, Liyah, let's cut, fam," He said and we grabbed our jackets then followed them out the yard.
We all crammed into Kieron's car and then drove off to the shopping centre while he shouted over the phone. We arrived at the shopping centre in under ten minutes. "Where the youngers at?" Jaq asked, as the five of us jogged downstairs from the car park. It was a couple youngers who spotted her.
"Market Village," Kieron told us.
"Where is she?" Romy asked, when we arrived at Market Village and found the two youngers who spotted her.
"She went in there," The boy said, "'Bout two minutes ago."
"You sure it's her?" Jaq asked as the now seven of us walked in.
"Yes, bruv, I swear it is," The boy said.
"A'ight, if she starts acting mad, grab her," Jaq instructed.
"Say no more," The boy said and then we saw the girl looking at sunglasses, "Oi! Come here!" He shouted, causing her to run.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I scolded him.
"Why you sayin' oi?" Kieron said.
"Dickhead," Jaq mumbled.
We split up to chase after her. I went with Kieron and Jaq to cut her off. Jaq grabbed her, roughly, and pushed her up against the wall of a closed shop. "What's your name, sis?" Jaq interrogated her.
"What's all this?" She asked, frightened.
"I'm just asking you what your name is, innit?" Jaq said, "What's wrong with that?"
"I'll call the police, you know," The girl said, pointedly.
"All right, call," Jaq said, the girl tried to escape but Jaq held her back up against the wall, "But when you do, tell 'em about Ats and your bredrens in the yellow car, innit."
"What?" The girl said, looking confused as fuck.
"Are you deaf?" Jaq asked her, "You, Ats, and the yellow car."
"I don't know what you're talkin' 'bout," The girl said, struggling more.
"Ay, it's not her, man," Kieron said, studying the image on his phone.
"What do you mean it's not her?" Jaq nearly shouted.
"Bruv, I'm telling you it's not her." Kieron said, "Look,"
The girl tried to run away again, "Hold still!" Jaq almost shouted. Kieron held the photo up beside the girl's head and I noticed that she wasn't her. "Fuck, man!" Jaq shouted and we walked away from the girl, "Fuck you doing, you dickhead? Fuckin' idiot!" She cussed the younger.
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Despite all this rubbish that happened today, Jaq still took me out in the evening. We went to an underground bar. "What you drinkin'?" Jaq asked me and I thought for a second.
"Gin and Tonic," I said, as we got on the bar stalls.
"I could have about three or four of those right now," Jaq said and I laughed.
"Been one of those days, innit," I said and she exhaled.
"Yeah, defo," She nodded and turned to the bartender, "Can I please get two gin and tonics? Thanks,"
The drinks arrived and we clinked our glasses together and had a drink. Then Jaq's phone vibrated, "Gowan," I told her.
"Sorry," She apologised.
"Nah, it's calm," I said.
She picked up the phone and held it to her ear. "What?" She said, rudely over the line, "Speak up, man. I can't hear a word you're sayin'," She said, "I've gotta call you back, I'm busy with something right now." I couldn't hear what the other person on the phone was saying, just whispering.
"Have I not already told you I'll get you out of there?" Jaq said and then I knew who was on the phone. It was Lauryn.
I haven't explained very well but recently Lauryn got back in touch with Jaq and I as she was pregnant with some scouse guy called Curtis. He was a gangster and his sister was a fucking psycho.
"You need to calm down, you hear me?" Jaq said on the phone, "I'm gonna call you back like I said... A'ight, text then. Listen, I'm going to bring you home. It's just gotta be the right time. So bear with me, a'ight? In a bit,"
She the hung up the phone and then shoved her phone away. She quickly explained what happened and then we got on with our date.
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We were walking back to Summerhouse at the end of our date and it was pretty late, we were in a pretty dark area but it was calm. I finally decided to ask the question Ive been waiting to ask, "When did you first know you were gay?" I asked.
"Oh, babes, I've always known," Jaq said, her hands shoved in her pockets.
I laughed a little, "Okay, when did you first kiss a girl?"
She pulled me to the side and kissed me, "You're the first," She said, pulling away and I smiled, then we kissed again.
A group of white boys, came down the ramp we were leaning against and one of them shouted at us, "Oi, kiss again you fuckin' lezzers," He said, his mates laughing.
"Ay, fuck off, man," Jaq shot at them.
"Kiss her," the boy repeated.
"Kiss her again, fucking pervert," Another boy said.
"Shut the fuck up," Jaq spat at them, then he pushed her slightly, "Brudda" She said and pushed him back.
"Fuck off, bitch!" He shouted and shoved her harder, she landed a punch to his face.
"Jaq!" I called, but two of the boys grabbed me and held me back, "Fuck off!" I shouted.
"Don't fucking touch her!" Jaq said and another boy punched Jaq powerfully in the face, knocking her down.
"Jaq!" I yelled again, louder and still struggling in the boy's grip.
While three boys began to beat up Jaq, one of the grabbed my bag while I was struggling. "Leave her the fuck alone!"
I shouted.
"Come we go," The boy said, once he'd got my bag. Then, the group ran off.
I had tears in my eyes at this point,
"Jaq?" I said, kneeling down by her side. She sat up and wiped her mouth, and then slowly stood up. Her chin and lip was fucked.
"Are you all right?" She asked me, putting her arms on my elbows.
"Are you all right?" I asked her, putting my hand on her cheek and attempting to caress her chin but she shrugged it away. I frowned.
"Come, we go," She said and we walked off.
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We walked back to Jaq's yard and I could tell she was pissed and maybe even scared. "Come," I told her, taking her hand.
"What?" She mumbled and reluctantly followed. She took her hood down when we got into the house.
I lead her into the bathroom, "Sit," I told her, nodding at the edge of the bathtub. She sighed but listened, sitting down on the edge of the bath. I went into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out my cotton pads which I use to remove my makeup. I ran it under the water and began to wipe the blood off Jaq's face.
"Ow, ow, ow," She groaned, trying to get me to stop.
"Shut up, mans gotta clean it or it'll get infected," I told her, repeating what she told me. She huffed and I continued attacking her face with the wipe. Once the blood was wiped away, scratches and a cut on her lip was left. "Wasn't so bad, was it?"
She kissed her teeth, "Yeah, it was," She said and I rolled my eyes.
"Fuck off," I said to her, cupping her cheeks with my hands.
"C'mere, you dickhead," She said and I kissed her softly on the lips.
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Icl this may have moved a likkle fast buhh idc and another shit ending mb
hope u enjoyed❤️.
bye bbys
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