I woke up before dawn, jolting awake from a vivid dream. I couldn't remember it exactly, but it hadn't been pleasant. There had definitely been yelling and some flashes of pain.
I groaned, and sat up. It was darker than usual -- it was cloudy outside, about to rain. Without turning on the light, I trudged downstairs, expecting to hear the voices of my parents in the kitchen. But there were no lights on when I got there -- did I forget that they went out of town?
There was something different about the kitchen, but I couldn't figure it out. It felt like I had been sleeping for a while, although I had been sure it had only been a night...
Without eating breakfast, I set off for school. It was conveniently in walking distance -- I didn't have a car yet, and my best friend Eden usually took me. I had a feeling that she would have had a hangover from a party that she had gone to the night before, so I decided to get a head start. About halfway there I remembered that I had left my bag at her place -- maybe she would bring it when she came to school.
On my walk, I didn't notice that I didn't trip or stumble as usual, or make any sound at all. I was too preoccupied in my thoughts. It was light outside now -- I could see the reds and yellows of the trees. I loved this time of year.
To my surprise, Eden was already standing at her locker when I got to school.
"Hey," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Do you have my bag?"
She ignored me and continued searching around in the locker that we shared.
"Eden?" I said, louder. Still no response. Was she mad at me?
Our friend Matt appeared behind us -- I asked him what was wrong with Eden, but he didn't answer me either.
"Do you have the trig homework?" Matt asked casually. I rolled my eyes -- he probably wanted to copy her work.
"Will you please acknowledge my existence now?" I pleaded. "Please, I don't know what I did!" I didn't care if I looked pathetic. This day was already going strangely enough.
Eden snorted and handed him a slightly battered copy of her homework. "It took me forever to find that at the bottom of my locker," she warned. "Don't lose it."
He smirked, then kissed her on the cheek before he went to his class.
I was so shocked by this that I forgot to ask why they were taking trigonometry when we were still in sophomore math. Were Eden and Matt secretly dating now? Could they even see me?
I studied Eden, now that her head was out of her locker. She had cut her hair short, but something else was different too. Eden looked tired, but not just from a lack of sleep.
-:-
I followed Eden around that day in a daze. She was a junior now -- her and Matt both. No one seemed to see me, and I remained invisible to everyone, no matter how hard I tried to get their attention.
However long I had been sleeping, I had missed a lot. Eden and Matt were dating now -- I had suspected that they liked each other, but never thought it would actually happen. I guess whatever happened had pushed them closer together. It was unnerving going to Eden's classes with her. She had never been a good student in the past, which was why I was surprised to see her taking advanced classes and actually taking notes.
Through most of her high school career, Eden had only cared about a few things: cheerleading, her friends, and boys -- particularly the dumb-but-cute ones on the football team.
Now, however, she wasn't even in cheerleading anymore. I wondered what had happened.
It was at lunch when I first saw him. Silas Lockwood.
"Look." Skylar's lips turned up into a smirk. "There's the new guy."
I had never liked Skylar for multiple reasons. One, being that she had always jumped at the opportunity to make some sort of snide remark whenever I was talking. As the result of Eden having two, very diverse, groups of friends, I was stuck with Skylar on occasion.
Eden rolled her eyes. "Didn't you just break up with Jason?"
They watched from afar as Anthony Reed approached a dark-haired boy, that I later found out was Silas. I noticed that his features were nearly perfect -- something that everyone else noticed too, by the way they were staring. Apparently, he and Anthony were old childhood friends.
Silas's eyes turned toward the direction of our table, first passing over Eden and Matt (who were now in a very intense conversation about the lunch they served today in the cafeteria), Skylar, and then me.
I could tell he saw me because our eyes met and his own widened. Only for a second, though, because the next second he was walking over to the table with Anthony.
I stood behind Eden and watched as Anthony insisted that Silas come sit down with our friends at the table. Silas nodded politely or responded to everyone that Anthony pointed out to him. Again, his eyes passed over me after Anthony's introduction, probably wondering if I was only some strange girl lurking around the lunch table.
He muttered something to Anthony that sounded a lot like, "...her name?"
Anthony looked bemused. "That's Eden!"
Silas gave me an odd look then, and I thought I could see fear in his eyes. He sat down across from Eden then, making sure not to make eye contact with me anymore.
Meanwhile, Skylar was obviously trying to work her charm on Silas. There was a lot of hair tossing and smiling, but it didn't seem to work on Silas, who still seemed a little shaken. I couldn't blame her, honestly. He was probably the best-looking guy I had ever seen. Not that I could do anything about that now.
As it turned out, Eden had her next few classes with Silas -- good, I could keep an eye on both of them. But when the bell rang after Trig, I followed Silas instead -- I had to get him alone if I wanted to ask him to help me.
I could tell that this disturbed him a little. As the day ended, Silas was growing more and more tense, which only made me more hopeful because I was sure that he could see me. I noticed that Silas wasn't unfriendly, but he wasn't exactly sociable either -- not like Anthony, anyway.
By his last period class -- AP Physics, Silas was one of those overachievers -- I could tell that he was uneasy. I was too excited to consider the fact that he might not want to help me, or talk to me.
"Silas!" Anthony burst into the room at the end of class.
"Anthony," Silas said, looking bored. "You're supposed to be in English."
"I know," Anthony said. "I came to check on you!"
I couldn't stop the laugh from coming out at the look on Silas's face. Sure, they were childhood friends, but it seemed like Anthony was getting on his last nerve. Silas stiffened at the sound of my laugh.
Their teacher -- Mr. Holton -- didn't seem to care that Anthony was intruding on his class -- he wasn't even teaching today, just having students review for an upcoming test and do makeup work. Anthony talked to Silas animatedly for the rest of the period. When the bell finally rang, I felt like I was about to burst. I followed Silas and Anthony through the crowded hallways, until they finally split up at the door -- apparently Anthony had detention.
Silas made his way out of the building, and to my surprise began to walk home. I supposed that he lived close to the school too... or his car was broken.
To my surprise, it was Silas that interrupted the silence. "What do you want?" He asked coldly.
"W-what?" I said, caught off guard.
"You've been following me all day." Silas stopped, turning around. I realized how much taller he was than me. His dark eyes scanned around for any bystanders that might think he was mental, and then continued, "So what do you want?"
"You can see me." I was struggling for words.
"Obviously."
"No one else can... I was wondering if you could tell me what happened?" I asked him as politely as I could without screaming.
"Usually the people I see are dead."
It felt like I was filled with ice water. "Dead," I repeated, not liking how the word sounded.
"Can you help me?" I asked him. Maybe there was something... some reason why I was here. I couldn't really be dead.
"No." The tone he used was final. I opened my mouth to beg, but he continued, "I moved here to get away from things like you."
And then he walked away.
-:-
I stood there for hours, losing track of time as I thought of how cruel Silas's words had been. Maybe it was true, maybe I was dead. But if that was the case, why was I still here?
As a little girl, I had never believed in ghosts. It was something that people would tell stories about to try to frighten me, or part of a game that I played with the other kids at school.
And he called me a "thing"... that was almost as bad as being ignored.
The next day, I didn't show up at school. I didn't want to see Silas again after our encounter. I stayed away for a few days, until the desire to see my best friends got the better of me. I returned to school, resolving to spend the days with Eden until I figured out what to do.
To my surprise, and horror, Silas had become a part of the group that Eden sat with at lunch -- he even had almost half of her classes!
"Silas," Anthony said. "What are you looking at?"
Silas had been glaring at me without realizing it. "Nothing," he said. It didn't sound like an excuse, it sounded like he thought it was true.
"I'm not a 'thing'!" I retorted, annoyed.
I received no response, of course. Silas wouldn't want to look like a lunatic in front of his new friends. My friends.
Eden was scolding Matt, who was currently making a D in English. "What would your dad say?"
"Nothing," Matt replied. "He works night shifts and is usually too tired to look at my grades."
Eden rolled her eyes.
I was almost in tears, but I couldn't cry. I realized that on the first night, when I came home to an empty house and it became clear that my parents hadn't been there in weeks. I still didn't know where they were. Had they meant to leave me?
I followed Eden for the next few weeks -- spending my days with her made me feel less alone, even though we couldn't speak. Sometimes, I would go back to my house and look for any clues to where my parents could be. I had found nothing interesting, unfortunately.
I had gotten comfortable around Silas, too, after I realized that just because he could see me didn't mean he could harm me. On occasion, I would comment something to him if it added to a conversation he was having. Once, when I was really bored, I had told him everything that some girls had been whispering about him across the room.
He never answered me, but I could tell that I got to him. I had decided that if I was going to stay like this for a while -- possibly forever -- that it didn't hurt to ask Silas if he would change his mind about helping me. I was becoming more desperate every day.
-:-
I remember the day that Silas decided to help me.
It was getting colder everyday, and the last of the leaves had fallen from their branches. I had been getting into the habit of following Silas at school during the day -- I never followed him home, feeling like that was a breach of privacy that I didn't want to cross.
I always stayed at my house at night, hoping that I would see my parents again.
He was walking home at the end of the day -- I would walk with him until it was time to split off to go to my own house -- when he stopped.
"I'll help you," Silas spoke to me.
I was so shocked, that I couldn't speak for a moment. What was it about him that could make me breathless so easily? "Did you just say--"
"Yes," Silas said. We had both stopped walking. "It's not like you're going to leave anytime soon..." He trailed off. "Plus, there's something different," he admitted. "Usually... beings... like you don't stay around for as long."
"Thank you!" I shouted, unable to help it. For the first time, I smiled at him.
"Just, please stop talking during my classes," he said. "It's hard for me to focus."
I did just that, of course.
We got to work immediately. Silas had moved here to live with his brother, Cole, who was currently out of town on a business trip. Apparently, this wasn't uncommon.
"It's better this way," Silas told me. "He won't think I'm going insane if he's not here."
We sat in his tastefully designed living room. Silas held a notepad and a pen in his hand.
"What's your full name?" He asked.
"Um..." I thought for a second. "Ivy."
"What's your last name?" Silas gave me a disbelieving look.
"I can't remember," I admitted, my mind straining.
He went on to asking my parents names, which I couldn't seem to remember either.
Silas sighed in frustration. "Can you remember anything about them, like what they did for work, or maybe anything they were known for doing?"
"My dad's a doctor." The piece of information came to me, seemingly out of nothing. "A good doctor, he won a lot of awards."
"Good," Silas said, and wrote something down. "Anything else?"
-:-
(from Silas's notes)
Name: Ivy (cannot remember last name)
--Parent's names and locations unknown
--Father was a doctor, most likely worked at the hospital in the city
--Says she is age fifteen, but friends are in eleventh grade now
--Wanted to be a doctor like her father
--Cannot remember many details about her life, unless reminded or confronted by something that triggers a memory
-:-
We went on like that for a few weeks. I would still go to school with Silas, where I would find Eden and Matt. They never brought me up, which I took as a bad sign. Silas guessed that they might not want to speak about what happened.
Likewise, Silas worked harder than ever. Every night we were working, trying to find some leads on my parents, and me trying to remember anything that I could. Sometimes, I could remember traces of them -- like Mom's delicate perfume, and the color of Dad's scrubs when I visited him at the hospital. None of this was exactly helpful, though.
"Why can't I remember?" I complained. "If I could just find my parents, then maybe they could tell you what happened!'
Silas peered at me from his physics book. "I don't know," he admitted. "You said you woke up in your house... but no one was there. Has it been vacant for a while?"
"I had been waiting there every night before you said you'd help me," I sighed. "No one turned up... is Cole coming home tonight?" I changed the subject.
"No," Silas muttered. "He's always so busy... it's not so different from when I lived with my parents."
Silas had moved here because his parents had sent him away to live with his brother. Apparently, he had been followed around by worse than me. His parents had been sending him to a psychiatrist ever since he was about eleven or twelve because of his "condition". Finally, when nothing seemed to be working, his brother Cole had suggested that some fresh air away from the city might be good for Silas, which led to him moving here.
"No one believed me," Silas had said. "They said it was all in my head."
"I'm sorry," I had said quietly. And I was.
"You were different," he said, less somber now. "All the others did was torment me, or ignore me. You were the only one who asked for help. You're the only one I've seen here so far... Maybe most of them are in the city."
I nodded. "Do you know what they... I... am?"
Silas shrugged. "I had always considered them to be some kind of spirit, like a ghost." He saw my grimace, and then said quickly, "But that doesn't mean that's what you are."
His words from the other day flooded into my head. "Am I dead?"
Silas considered this for a moment. "It's possible, but like I said, you're different."
That gave me hope.