It was becoming increasingly harder to not admit to Kava that she was Rose. Now that they were laying in the hay again, and Kava was giggling while telling her how well the date went, Ella could only think about how different it would all be if he knew who she was. He could still find out, and then he'd never trust her again. She had to make sure Rose would just disappear from his life when they were married, which wouldn't be too hard since they would be moving.
Except she didn't want that. She loved how free Kava seemed with her. He wasn't afraid of breaking any customs, because she just laughed along with him, and he wasn't scared of her finding out about his sickness, since she already knew and didn't judge him.
"Hey, Rose?"
"Hm?" She asked quickly. "I'm listening."
He laughed at that. He had a beautiful laugh.
"No, you're not. But that's okay, I've been talking your ear off today."
"I like it when you talk. I enjoy listening."
He fell silent for a moment.
"I was thinking about something, Rose." He said quietly. "After the wedding, when me and the princess go to live in the palace by the border... I would like you to come as well."
"What?" She raised herself up to look at him properly.
"It would be weird for me to be friends with a servant living in another city, but if you moved with me and worked in our stables, being friends would be acceptable. What do you think?"
Oh. That's why he was asking her today about the friendships with servants. She hadn't realised what it was about back then, but now it made sense.
"Kava..."
"Is it about money? I don't know how it works here, but I'm sure I could pay you... or buy you? You wouldn't need to worry. I would make sure you wouldn't lack anything."
"I can't." She cut shortly.
"You... don't want to?"
He looked sad, like a lost puppy.
"No, I would, but..." But I'm Ella. Just say it out loud. I'll go with you, but not as a servant, because I'm Ella. I'll be your wife. "I have duties I can't escape. You understand the need that comes with duties, do you not?"
He nodded.
"I do, but I was hoping... You're my only friend from Brivania, Rose. The only honest person I can turn to."
That hurt. She was lying about everything.
"You have the princess as well."
"It's different. I can't talk to her about the things I tell you. Just... think about my proposition. If you change your mind... I would be delighted."
She said nothing at that. She couldn't. Rose had to disappear from his life.
"Do you remember your promise, Kava?" She asked instead. "The wedding is soon."
He squeezed the wolf hide, biting his lip.
"I do."
"When are you planning to tell her? You said it was all going well, so maybe soon would be the time?"
"Not yet. Exactly because it's going well, I can't ruin it now. But I will tell her before the wedding. I promised you."
"You're just going to stress out more. If you tell her sooner, you won't need to worry so much."
"I can't." He tugged at the fur more. "I enjoy her presence. This could ruin everything.
"It won't."
"I'll tell her later. Before the wedding, I promise. As soon as she gets to know me better."
Maybe she already knows you better than you think.
***
Ella arrived at Lady Sommer's estate, sitting down in her living room. Her host, Veronica Sommer, served tea.
"Tell me something, Ella." Veronica started when they were both sat. "I've heard there are foreign guests in the palace."
"Yes. Guests from Great Tundra, including my soon to be future lord husband. There are many tundrians staying over."
"Right..." The woman looked down at her hands. "I received a visit yesterday, from two of them."
Ella did a double take. Veronica looked weary, her eyes suspicious.
"Did they now?" Ella asked, bewildered. She couldn't imagine why.
"Yes. I received a gift. They said it was from "Lord Hunter"."
"That's my future husband's title."
"I see... " Veronica trailed off, reaching to a nearby cupboard. She pulled out a wooden box. "I didn't know what to think about it, so I put it aside to ask about your opinion."
She opened the box. Her stiff fingers pulled out a set of leather gloves with weird threads in many places, and a big jar of dried herbs.
"Two women in animal furs knocked on my door yesterday. The one with leopard skin said she was Dia, the other one had wolf skin, both very strong and intimidating, but I didn't catch the name. Dia said she was a healer from Great Tundra and that she heard about my problem with my fingers, and that Lord Hunter sent her over to take a look if I allow it."
"And you did?"
"I have nothing to lose with my fingers, and I just assumed she heard about my issue from someone and was perhaps conducting research on the same topic. They were both very respectful, but didn't want any tea."
Ella chuckled.
"Of course not."
"They looked me over and Dia decided my nerves were damaged. It matched the diagnosis my doctor had given me, so she must have been legitimate. She said she can leave me something to help if I have enough determination to do it myself every day."
"And she gave you the gloves?"
"Gloves and herbs." Veronica nodded. "She said I would need to brew the herbs every day and soak the gloves in them while I sleep. Then I would have to wear the gloves the whole day, and take them off when I go to bed again to soakI them in the herbs. She told me exactly how to brew them, and showed me how to put on the gloves."
"Then... what's the problem?"
"She was still a stranger, and the herbs are nothing I've ever seen before. She might as well have come to poison me and steal my jewels. I knew you had tundrians as guests in your estate, so I wanted to check in with you."
"Kava... I mean, Lord Hunter is an esteemed guest. He wouldn't have anyone give you anything harmful. I think you should try. As you said, what do you have to lose?"
Veronica looked down at the box.
"Did Dia say what you can expect? What results?" Ella asked when the silence stretched.
"She said that it will hurt a lot, since the nerves will be connecting back. After two weeks the pain should subside since the main parts will be ready. Then after a month I should be able to move my fingers properly. I would have to switch to wearing gloves in the night instead and do various exercises for a long time to make sure the nerves are proper. This is all provided that I don't miss even a single day of the gloves, at least for that first month. I wouldn't be able to take them off during the day for anything, no matter what dress I would be wearing or where I would be going."
"What are you thinking, Veronica?" Ella leaned forward, putting a hand on her friend's.
"I would be able to play again." She whispered. "I would need to be determined and resilient, but I could use an instrument. After all those years, I could play again. I have to try. This is the glimmer of hope that I needed."
Ella smiled.
"It will be difficult, but if it helps, it's worth it."
"Oh, but if the tundrians leave after the wedding... It's a shame. It would be good if Dia was able to control if everything is going well."
"I'll ask Lord Hunter if she could stay in our estate for a while."
"Thank you, Ella." Veronica sighed. A single tear made its way down her face. "And thank you for asking your Lord Husband to send his medic."
"I didn't actually... ask him. I told your story, and he sent the medic to you on his own. He hadn't even told me."
Veronica's expression softened even more.
"How lucky you are. He seems like a compassionate man, and not many can say the same about their husbands."
"Yes... He does seem like that."
"Do you want to tell me about him?"
"So you know how I sometimes dress as a man to take part in hunts? This time I got myself in the right mess."
***
"I wasn't aware medicine is so advanced in the Great Tundra."
Kava stopped putting dinner into his mouth with his hands to look up at her. He seemed somehow taken aback.
"Of course it's advanced. There are a lot of diseases that can be contracted with our lifestyle, so our medicine has to move forward with it."
"I didn't mean to suggest that Great Tundra is uneducated." She rushed to assure, not wanting to mention that she had thought them savages before she met everybody that came to the courting. "You sent your personal medic to Lady Sommer."
He made a surprised expression, as if not having expected her to find out.
"I went to visit her yesterday." Ella explained. "Because of our talk I realized I haven't seen her for a while and decided to go visit. It turned out Dia was there the previous day on behalf of Lord Hunter. On your behalf."
"Right." Kava looked aside. "I had my people ask around for that Lady Sommer and took Dia with me."
"You went personally?"
"Yes. For Dia's safety. I stayed in the shadows, how do you Brivs say... incognito. I wanted to make sure everything was fine and not intimidate your friend."
"I think you made quite the impression anyway."
"That wasn't my intention."
I know that.
"In Great Tundra hands are the most important part of a body. If you can't move your fingers, you can't draw a bow. You can't hold a knife. You can't hunt for yourself, or build anything, you can't cook or be useful in any other way. That's why this region of medicine is being very closely researched in Great Tundra. Dia is an expert. She has studied many fields, but nerves are her main focus."
"Nerves around the whole body?"
"Yes. She is really amazing. She was the one to come up with the herb treatments."
"Do they work?"
"They worked on her, didn't they?" Kava nodded to himself. "She sustained nerve damage when she was just a girl, a wild dog attacked her. She spent her days combining different known treatments. She managed to come up with the herb treatment, and she used it successfully many times. First on herself. Then on many, many different hunters, people that would be cast out if not healed, not contributing to society. She provides the treatment, but much depends on the patient. If Lady Sommer is determined and can stand it, she will be healed. It takes time and patience, but it can heal her fully, if she can stand it."
"She can. Veronica— Lady Sommer, that is, wants to do it. She wants to try."
"The treatment is painful and difficult. In Great Tundra it's this or death, so hunters choose it every single time. Here she doesn't have to get healed to survive. That's why I asked Dia to give her a choice."
"Veronica is determined. Would you consider asking Dia to stay in Brivania for a while? Until Veronica is completely healed."
"Dia goes where I go. She's my personal doctor and a good friend."
"Oh? Your personal medic?"
"Yes."
This would be a prime opportunity for Kava to tell her about the sickness, but he didn't say anything more.
"Thank you for doing that." She said when the silence stretched. "It was an amazing gesture of good will."
"I didn't do it for your approval." He grumbled, but then corrected himself. "I'm glad you approve, but..."
"You weren't counting on me finding out so soon." She commented and he nodded. "You just wanted to do a good thing."
"I wasn't seeking your approval. I thought you wouldn't go visit so soon, so it wouldn't seem like a manipulative action."
"I know it wasn't. You're a good person, Kava. Thank you."
He looked down at his hands, and for a moment she thought he'd deny. He just said nothing. The rest of the meal went by with just small talk.