"So... you just knew you were going to get lucky tonight?"
"That was kind of the plan and I'm guessing this was yours as well."
"How do you figure?"
"Because your bed has fresh sheets."
"It's laundry day."
"You always spray perfume on your sheets? That's an old college move."
"You got me," said the naked woman in bed.
It was a Thursday night. The two consenting adults had met hours earlier at a local bar and lounge. A place where middle-aged adults come to decompress after work before heading home. Or someone else's home.
Ricky had gone to the establishment with a clear directive of going to a woman's home to indulge in what grown-ups do. No more, no less, and with no strings attached. Safely of course. A freshly purchased box of gold wrappers was in his car to accompany him in his pursuit.
His pursuit led him to Sandra. A taller woman wore a form-fitting pants suit with black and white low-top Vans. A California girl through and through. She approached him by sitting on the stool next to him and commented on his shoes. Ricky was wearing a rare pair of Nike Sb Dunks 'Cali' hi's. he was wearing them with a pair of sharply creased khakis and a brown polo. She was in her early 40s and happily divorced for two years. They discussed their careers, her being a fiduciary and him being an analyst. They discussed the similarities of their fields. And what they didn't like about their jobs and laughing as they nursed their drinks enough to be inebriated enough to ease the tension but not enough to impair any later activities. But after their first drink, they both knew that their conversation was a farce that they were both participating in to maintain some social decorum. They knew that their night was going to end in bed.
Ricky looked at Sandra's nightstand clock and saw that it was nearing 11 pm. Sandra noticed as well. They both looked at each other and realized that the night was waning, and they both had to rise early for work the next day. No words were needed for their departure.
"Do you mind if I shower before I leave?" asked Ricky.
"You don't want to go home smelling like me?" replied Sandra.
"More I hate the smell of latex and want to wash it off me as soon as I can. Plus I can go home and just go to sleep"
Sandra thought that she just shared her bed with a philanderer but on the other hand, she can appreciate the pragmatism. She also hated the smell of latex.
"Ok. Only if I can join you."
Ricky wasn't in the mood for another round, but he was a guest.
Ricky started her shower as she got them both fresh towels. Ricky knew he was dealing with a pro when he saw the men's body wash on her shower shelf. He understood. She was a busy single mom. He deduced that by the pictures of her sons in her room. He figured her ex had the kids and when she had her time she would take full advantage.
Ricky tried to hastily wash himself but when Sandra entered, she touched him in his intimate place the moment she stepped in. The initial contact made him slightly recoil, which visibly surprised Sandra. He saw the confusion on her face and rather than discuss it he decided to return the favor to her erogenous area. Still recovering from the bed activities, it was very sensitive, and her knees buckled immediately. As to not negate the purpose of the shower the two stuck with actions that wouldn't require latex. Once done Sandra attempted to wash Ricky but he again rebuffed.
"What's wrong?" said Sandra.
"Nothing. I'm just used to washing myself." Said Ricky
"No one taken care of you like this in a while, huh?"
"You can say that."
"I understand"
The two finished their ablutions without further contact. After drying off and dressing, Sandra just adorning a robe, she walked Ricky to the door, and they said their goodbyes.
Ricky drove home in silence, the radio off. Contemplating the night's actions. He's done this before after a night like this.
Ricky pulled into his driveway and began to exit and then he remembered to get his wedding ring out of his center console before entering his home.
Upon entering he could see evidence of the night's activities that he missed. Thursdays were usually the calmest days in his house, but he was greeted with toys and coloring books sprawled out in the living room. This made him chagrin. Usually on Thursday his four-year-old is too tired from a full day of pre-k, after-school club, and choir rehearsal to want to participate in any at-home shenanigans. He cleaned up the whirlwind of debris and headed upstairs to his bedroom.
He saw his wife curled up in bed. Comforter wrapped around her on her side of the bed. His side bare. No pillow and no portion of the cover on his side.
He undressed, putting dirty clothes in the hamper. Cleaning his sneakers before putting them away in their box then he walked to bed. But he couldn't bring himself to get in. He had a lump in his throat. He needed to have a conversation with her, which he's been putting off for a long time now.
"Leese," said Ricky "Leese"
The man went around to his wife's side of the bed and gently shook her.
"Lisa, wake up."
His wife, Lisa, began to awaken. He was greeted by his wife's big, light brown eyes. The eyes he saw drew him to her in college.
"Hi, Hun." Said Lisa as she woke seeing her husband. She saw that he was upset. "Sorry for going to bed before you got home, RJ wore me out."
"We need to talk." Said Ricky as he went in and sat in the barrel chair in the corner of their bedroom.
"About..."
"This... I... This isn't working for me anymore," said Ricky.
"What are you talking about," said Lisa. The sentence shook off any lingering drowsiness and now she was sitting up in bed.
"Our... arrangement," said Ricky as he propped his elbow on the arm of the chair. His hand was around his chin stroking his beard.
The 'arrangement' is a comprise that they made to aid in their marriage.
"Why isn't it working."
"Because I didn't marry you to sleep with other women."
Both Ricky and Lisa sat silent for a moment
"It's what we agreed upon. You and I talked about it. We thought it was best." Said Lisa in a concerned voice.
"I know. But I can't do it anymore. You're my wife. I want to be with you." Said Ricky
"But you know what I feel."
"I know."
"So what? You're just going to stop your Thursday nights?"
"Yes"
"That's fine for you?"
"No."
"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm saying... I need a divorce." Said Ricky, fighting the tears welling up in the corner of his eye.
"What!? No!" shouted Lisa. "The arrangement was working."
"It never worked. It was nice to have that feeling again but it wasn't worth what I felt afterward. Every time all I did was imagine you. And after every time I cried in the car on my way home."
That information hit Lisa hard. She never thought that it was an issue. She figured that any man could sever the link between emotions and carnal activities.
"Maybe we can try something else?" asked Lisa.
"What? What is there to try? We tried it all and it just didn't work." Ricky took a deep breath "We both know that after RJ was born something changed in you and after two years of us not touching each other you suggested my Thursday nights."
Lisa thought about all the times that they tried to restart their physical intimacy after their son was born. But it all was to no avail. Lisa had no interest in it. Her lack of desire turned into repulsion after a while. Any kind of act that Lisa wasn't 100% into was a non-starter for Ricky and that left them at a crossroads.
Ricky leaned off the chair he was sitting in and crept over to Lisa and grabbed her hands and put them on his chest.
"I can't be with the woman I love if I can't love the woman I love. It... it just hurts too much."
"What about RJ?"
"He's getting smarter every day. Soon he's going to notice that his father is gone every Thursday or worst he'll put 2 and 2 together and think I'm cheating on you!"
"But you're not! This was my idea!"
"I know I'm not. I'm cheating myself." Said Ricky with a slight whimper as a few tears hit his chest. "Also, I can't set an example of someone being unhappy but staying together. That's what my parents did, and I promised myself that I would never do that."
Tears began to stream down Lisa's face.
"I hoped that this would work but it's not. I love you too much to continue doing this so as long as we're married, it won't happen again. But whatever switched off for you hasn't for me. That part of my life isn't done. But it's not just that. You barely touch or kiss me. I enjoy our time together, but our friendship is stronger than our relationship and maybe that's what we should be."
That too hit Lisa very hard but it was true. Their relationship had always had an iron foundation of friendship. They've been best friends since grad school. A friendship that has lasted over a decade. That friendship turned into a relationship that bloomed into a loving marriage. The product of that love was sleeping in the room next to them.
Both partners stared at each other. Streams of tears down their faces. Not wanting to audibly weep as to not wake their child.
Ricky began to compose himself.
"I love you more than I thought one person could love another, I wanted this to work, tonight was my last test. If I felt any different afterward then maybe I could make it work. But it didn't. I just felt the pain of knowing that this won't happen with my wife again."
Lisa embraced her husband. Something she hasn't done in quite a while. Ricky let out soft sobs as his tears fell onto her chest, soaking her pajama shirt. Her tears leaving her eye and landing on his head. The couple wept for hours and held each other. Their love was their bond but now being clear that a significant part of that bond is severed.
Lisa thought about her life during this. She thought about how throughout her life sex was never a major desire. It was just routine. She lost her virginity her freshman year of college to a frat boy she met in her history class. It was an uneventful event. The young man was considerate and gentle but obviously inexperienced. This didn't bother her, she figured they both were beginners. She never pursued a relationship with the young man and was fine by herself. Every so often her friend would set her up with someone and they'd date for a short time. Man or woman, it didn't matter. She'd enjoy the company and companionship but anything sexual was perfunctory.
She'd read about women that lost their libido after childbirth. An anomaly due to hormone imbalance. But the more she researched, the more she thought to herself that she never had much to begin with. Now it was time for her to truly understand herself and what this part of life means to her.