every week i dread, it's like a never ending cycle of torture and fear
but this week might be different
because this week is the world premiere of Disneys Frozen
and it's a much bigger event then you'd think for a movie premiere
and lucky for me, i get to leave for a day
i get to escape for a day, to have fun
to have a breather
and i'm so excited.
|Pyramid|
"let's go ladies!" Abby calls and we all run in
"i would love to say congratulations i would like to be excited the overall highscore group routine, it was the highest scoring number of the entire day but i wasn't too excited about my fourth place solo and my third place duet"
"Abby do you regret bringing Chloe in? that took time away from every one of these kids, do you regret that or?" Jill asks
"no actually i really enjoyed working with that young lady." Abby says
"on our kids time though this is your ALDC this is your name on their back not hers" Jill says
"Jill are you telling me how to run my business?" Abby asks
"no! no! she didn't fit in with this team and more than that she took time away from your kids." Jill says
"you said you wanted a dancer that could hit the dance ground running she never got the start." Holly points out
"i think it's a little off when i bring one person in it hasn't worked that's why i made a little decision im not bringing in one dancer to replace one of you, i'm looking to cast an entire new elite junior team." Abby says
god..that's like nine new kids
"ladies this is a reality check, i will be forming a new team to challenge you they'll get to start from scratch just like you guys did im auditioning kids from all over the country i know what i want..Maddie you might be on the new team." Abby says
"let's get to the pyramid."
"Chloe, fourth? not good enough not for the experience that you already had."
"and next Kendall."
"i don't even care." i hear Jill mumble
"alright next we have Nia, why do you think you're here?" Abby asks
"because we didn't win." Nia says
"and next we have Mackenzie, Mackenzie you were in the group dance did you shine like the top of the Chrysler building? no."
"next Eloise, it could've been better."
"next we have Camila, i think you embrace the style but it could've been cleaner."
"next Brooke, you were also given moments to be the star of that group you could've been amazing we could've came up with more difficult choreography to do with that chair figure out what you can do and can't do come back and say you know what i can do this do you like it i can do that do you like it, that's how it works when you're fifteen."
"and next we have Paige, you're pretty high on the pyramid i kept going back to your look it wasn't about your dancing it wasn't about your technique i thought that the number was good for you maybe that's where you shine."
"and at the top of the pyramid praise Maddie."
we clap for Maddie
Maddie
Paige Brooke Camila
Eloise Mackenzie Nia Kendall Chloe
"this week we are going to New York City, you will be competing at Sheer Talent." Abby says
"Paige it's been a long time you will be performing a solo, the name of the solo is Oh La La i believe it's just right for you"
"Brooke you will also be performing a solo this week it will be a contemporary acrobatic routine it better be amazing."
"Paige and Chloe you will also be performing a duet the name of the duet is apply titled Wishbone."
i clap for Chlo and Paige
"and right now everybody is in the group dance Beautiful Revenge, you're all beautiful and i need to get some revenge and you are." Abby says
"and i will also be hosting my third Open Call Audition New York City."
"Chloe and Camila you will come to the audition and your mom is going to work too."
i smile
lucky us
"Kelly you think you're up to helping Christi?" Abby asks
"yeah" Kelly says
"Paige and Brooke you will be accompanying your mother, Chloe, Camila and Christi to New York City on Friday." Abby says
"i have a question." mom asks
"yes?" Abby asks
"what are Mackenzie, Maddie, Nia, Eloise and Kendall doing why we're in auditions?" mom asks
"they're attending NUVO dance company in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania." Abby says
oh yeah we don't do things like that anymore, we aren't apart of the company
"i don't hold my students back that's a competition i want to attend."
i look over at mom before looking back at Abby and raising my hand
she's going to murder me
"yes, Camila?" Abby asks
"I won't be here tomorrow." i start
"and whys that?" Abby says
breathe, it's okay..she won't yell..she can't yell..right?
"the Frozen World Premiere is tomorrow and i've been invited to attend." i say
"that's a whole day of rehearsal you're missing..you may not be in the group routine." Abby states
"she'll be here today and Thursday." mom says
"she's missing tomorrow that's vital every single person here is required to be at rehearsal" Abby says
"if this was Maddie or Mackenzie you'd be encouraging them to go..don't take your hatred on me out on my ten year old" mom says
"oh it's not that, she's missing tomorrow." Abby says
"again if this was Melissa's kids they'd be getting a solo aswell, it's one day let her have it." mom says
"fine, if this group loses its not my fault, it's not my choreography's fault as you all like to claim it's her fault." Abby says
thanks.
"whatever." mom mumbles
"since time has been wasted already we need to get started, spread apart let's go." Abby says
|Group rehearsals|
"Nia where's you legs supposed to be?" Abby calls out
we do the routine and it's very pretty
"Brooke you're in a middle of the circle everyone's around you, you look like you've never had a dance class in your life..back to a backbend you put your hands down..do that section with her." Abby says
"Camila, you have today and thursday to learn this routine..because we don't have friday..you either pick it up and pick it up fast or you say goodbye to your invitation to that premiere." Abby yells out
ignore her.
she's lying..she can't stop me from going..she can't..
right.
"hello!" Abby beams as Kalani and another girl from Abbys Ultimate runs in
Maddie runs over to hug Kalani
i give them a small smile
we do the routine for the two girls
"Paige what is all that mess? it's a mess!" Abby says
"she has a solo and a duet to do and Kelly isn't pulling it, she's not pulling it..she's not going to cry she not going to run off stage she's going to go she's going to do the solo it's going to be good and we're all going to have fun!" Abby yells
god.
|Three Days To Competition|
|Los Angeles|
your dreams are all coming true,
this could be it.
hopefully.
Camilas Premiere Outfit:
"you look like a disney princess." mom smiles
"i wish i was one." i say as i look at myself in the mirror
"well technically you are one..did voicing Anna not make you a princess?" mom asks
"well..yeah the younger Anna but..yeah i guess that makes me a princess." i shrug
"see!" mom says
i give mom a smile
we soon arrive at the theatre we the premiere is being held
this is incredible,
"are you ready?" mom asks
"i think." i say
"don't be nervous, you're here to have fun..let yourself relax" mom says
i nod and we walk in
there's cameras..a lot of cameras
and so many people, celebrities..what am i doing here?
right, i was in the film
but still
i'm just a girl from Pittsburgh and i'm at a Premiere for Disneys next big thing.
we take photos..a lot of photos
times for interviews..think of it as..Dance Moms
wait no,
not Dance Moms
"hi! Camila Lukasiak..right?" the interviewer asks
"yes." i smile
"so you play Young Anna in the film..so you're kinda the star of the show." she says
that's what i'm being called?
"i mean yeah" i smile
"how did you get into the zone of playing a five year old?" she asks
"i kinda just thought about how i was when i was younger and obviously making my voice sound a lot younger than i sound like
but it was really fun to act like a young child" i say
"getting prepared for the role..did you meet Kristen Bell who plays the older Anna before hand?" she asks
"i didn't meet Kristen before, helpfully i'll meet her tonight..but i searched her up and kinda saw how she acted in interviews and what personality she has because everyone puts themselves into a character, they also played me some scenes with Kristen in it and i heard her sing so i got the feel of how she played Anna and i figured out what i could do to make young Anna a mini Kristen Bell." i smile
"do you have a favourite disney film?" the interviewer asks
"ooh! definitely The Little Mermaid, i just love Ariel and the songs in that film are beautiful" i smile
"you spoke very well." mom says as i walk over to her
"tried my best." i smile
before long we watched the film
i think i sounded good, and the song was good
mom cried,
the film was amazing
and yes, i did meet Kristen Bell..the day was a success.
|Two Days To Competition|
|Group Rehearsals|
"i hope you had fun, because i want this group perfect because if it loses, it's on you." Abby says
i nod
we run the group and i think i pulled it off
"well done." Maddie whispers to me as we walk over to Abby
"thanks" i smile
"i don't know why you're all smiley, that wasn't clean and this is the last day we get to do this, i'd think about working on that routine..i sure hope that event you went to doesn't screw up the entire team..you made the commitment don't mess it up for everybody..go" Abby says
she's fun.
"she just can't let anyone have it can she?" Eloise says as we get to the dancers den
"i went, i asked for it." i sigh
"it's a premiere for a disney film that you were in..what did she want you to do say no?" Eloise says
"it's Abby you're talking about and she's Camila so yes very much so" Brooke says
"i think she'd rather me remove myself from the film entirely" i say
|One Day To Competition|
|Open Call Auditions|
we walk into the building for the open call and there's people chanting our names
and there posters with our names
and it's insane!
we go into the main hall and behind the curtain
"it's mad!" i whisper
"i know!" Paige says
i take off my jacket and Abby comes being the curtain
"let's go..you ready?" Abby says
"but the girls don't know the dance." mom says
"but what can't you do? can you not do grandate" Abby asks
"no what it's saying is before you took the other girls to demonstrate you taught them the combo you didn't have them learn it out there with the rest of the kids when they're your demonstrators" mom says
"so what do you want me to do?" Abby asks
"i want you to teach the kids before they go out there." mom says
"i think it's embarrassing you want to send your kids out there not knowing it." Kelly says
"i think it's embarrassing that they're wearing my clothes!" Abby says
"i bright stuff to change do you want them to change? take it off." Kelly says
"you can take yours off too." mom says to me and Chloe
Abby goes out firm the curtains and we all change dancewear because we aren't in the company so Abby is being petty.
"you're it replaceable..you're irreparable" mom says
"really? because she just said we're replaceable.." Chloe mumbles
"what?" mom asks
"who cares you want to be replaced anyways so hope she finds someone as amazing as you." Kelly says
"i'm scared." Chloe says as she starts to cry
mom looks heartbroken and she hugs Chloe
"it's ridiculous we bring our kids to dance class for extra circular activity and they're scared!" Kelly says
now it's time for us to go out..breathe.
it's going to be fine.
"don't be scared don't cry." mom whispers as we leave the curtain
i stay close to Chloe as we walk out
"anybody holding a title?" Abby asks the crowd and a couple of kids raise their hands
we learn the combo and i try to look like i knew it before..
"you are being kept go stand with them." Abby says to Ava
Ava was the girl who auditioned with Ally at the start of last season
we continue on with the auditions
and Abby just has us sitting to the side..fun
"why are we even here?" i whisper
"i don't know." Chloe shrugs
"1622 you quit in the middle i don't need quitters, Kelly quits every year" Abby says
"626 find a new dance studio sweetheart a really good one." she says to a girl
"what was the issue? that's what i would like to know" the mom asks
"the feet and the right shoulder." Abby says
"i saw Paige her al secones were horrendous no offence or anything she does ten times better al secones than Paige does." the mom says
what?
"Paige come out here come back 626" Abby says
the group does the combo with the turns and Paige was better
"good job Paige!" mom cheers
"thank you very much you can go, take no and go home gracefully you're embarrassing yourself turn around." Abby says
"you know what Abby always says? she can talk about her dancers but nobody else can." mom says
the crowd cheers for mom
the audition soon ends and it wasn't the best day of my life
|Competition Day|
we get to the competition and we go to the dressing room and i do my makeup for the group
"where's Abby? why didn't she come in with us she always comes in with us." Kelly says
"how was yesterday because did you have a rough day yesterday with auditions?' Holly asks
"i just thought it was frustrating that she had our girls go and then didn't want to use them to demonstrate." Kelly says
"she's proving a point but what point i don't know." Jill says
"she wants to prove the point that our kids aren't the best." mom says
"she took them they sat there." Kelly says
Abby then comes in and congratulates the girls on NUVO she also brings some girls from the audition yesterday into the dressing room
we then head backstage for the solos
Paige performs and she was so cute
she was so energetic and she nailed it
i give Paige a hug when she exits
Brooke performs next
and she nailed it
she was gorgeous
"good job Brookie!" i hug her
and Kenzie hugs Brooke after
we go back to the dressing room and Chloe and Paige get ready for the duet
"the duet im probably not going to get to talk to you about back there so just be together you know what hurt Nia and Kendall last week." Abby says
"i'm going to go because there's some kids from the audition i want to watch." Abby says and she leaves the room
Maddie comes into the dressing room with a bun
i don't think that's what our hair is for the group..
we then go backstage
"why does Maddie have her hair in a bun? is that our hair for the group?" i ask
"she's doing the duet." Chloe mumbles
"what duet?" i ask
"with Kalani." Chloe says
"here? didn't you not ask Maddie?" i ask
"yeah she said no." Chloe sighs
Maddie lied?
Maddie and Kalani perform
and obviously they were stunning
of course it was spectacular
it's meant to be
Chloe and Paige perform next
and they were beautiful
but they aren't going to win.
it's obvious
"why did you lie?" i walk up to Maddie
"what?" Maddie asks
"you lied to Chloe? what the hell Mads?" i say
"i didn't lie." Maddie says
"yes you did, Chloe asked if you were performing that duet and you said no, you're meant to be her friend" I say
"Cami-" Maddie starts
"no! you knew what was going to happen you knew Chloe and Paige would be upset you knew that my mom and Kelly were going to be mad..you've said no to solos before Maddie? what's different now?" i say
"they told me to do it! i couldn't say no!" Maddie defends
"no you could've you've had before, so what if Abby was mad at you for like two weeks so what if your lost your solos for two weeks? it's not that hard i've dealt with it my whole life, but at the end i won't go back to being the golden child where you will. i hope you enjoy your first place win, i hope it absolutely means everything to you because it won't mean anything in a couple of years where Chloe and Paige will!" i say
"i'm not.." Maddie starts
"don't, you know you're Abbys golden child, who can do no wrong stop denying it because Abbys stopped denying it, you know what you did and i really hope you're happy with yourself i hope the trophy was worth it." i say then i storm off
wiping i few tears that slipped down my cheek
"Cami! Cam!" Maddie calls
ignore her, she isn't worth it.
i walk up to Eloise before going back to the dressing room
"what happened?" Eloise asks
"nothing." i state before going into the dressing room
"Maddie did you lie to them?" Melissa asks
i sit down beside mom and Chloe leans against the table
"no i said we did our duet for NUVO that was the competition i was talking about i didn't know we were doing it here." Maddie says
here we go.
"you know what here's the thing, you just keep your head up don't let all of that get to any of you." mom says to Chloe
"other people are allowed to perform too." Maddie says
i scoff lightly and rolls my eyes
"poor Chloe." Melissa says
"you know who your friends are." Kelly says
"i'm a nice friend mom." Maddie says
"you are her friend." Melissa says
"apparently not anymore." Maddie she's
Chloe sits down and
mom does our hairs for the group
Abby comes into the dressing room
"hello" Abby says
"hi" Holly says
"girls you all know Kalani, i know some of the moms didn't recognise her when she came in but this is her mother Kira..say hello" Abby says
"so moms, i've had auditions and i've seen a lot of great talents so i think Kalani might be our right fit."
"the whole package?" Holly asks
"right." Abby nods
"so Kalani has the package and i said to Kalani in the other room well you might just have to do a solo she goes well i don't have a solo yet i'll just improv turn the music on, Brooke i gave you how many opportunities to do something on a chair to get on it and get off it to do something cool..you stood on it"
"well maybe you should replace her." Kelly says
"Kalani do you know the group dance?" Jill asks
"yes i know it but not like that well" Kalani says
"are you in the group dance?" Jill asks
"i don't think so." Kalani says
"okay just checking." Jill says
"oh i don't know look at Brooke over there didn't her mother just say to replace her?" Abby asks
"Brooke is your mother speaking for you?"
"we come as team we're all leaving" Kelly says
"is your mother speaking for you, do you not wanna dance?" Abby asks
"i just want your mother to stop speaking for you you're fifteen years old gore the hell up."
"you know what you shut the hell up." Kelly says
"see how she talks to me?" Abby says to Kira
"if you're not happy with my kid because she doesn't sit here and smart mouth you and say something bad we will leave." Kelly says
"that's fine." Abby says
"Kelly why i'm just asking" Kira starts
"don't even speak to me." Kelly cuts her off
"uh!" Abby says
"oh why can't i speak to you?" Kira asks
"cause i don't want to speak to you." Kelly says
"we're coming into this all new and so i just wanna know what we're kidding into" Kira says
"a bully for a teacher here's your costumes enjoy the group dance, Hylands let's go." Kelly says
"Kelly we don't want you to go you guys don't want to go." Jill says
"well obviously she wants someone who hasn't danced here take both of my kids place." Kelly says
"no the kids wanna dance." Holly says
"no you said!" Abby says
"you just sat there and said my daughter looks miserable so maybe we should put Kalani in her place." Kelly says
"no i never said that." Abby says
"yes you most certainly did." Kelly says
"no i didn't dingbat listen! i said! Brooke is your mother speaking for you." Abby walks to Kelly
"get your finger out of my face!" Kelly says as she points to Abby
Abby then tries to bite Kelly and Kelly slaps Abby
"girls out of the room" Holly stats
everything goes in slow motion
Kelly then pulls Abbys hair
"GIRLS OUT OF THE ROOM!" Holly yells
i feel tears start to go down my face
"get away from me!" Kelly yells
"out the room!" Holly yells
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Kelly yells
"girls out of the room!" Holly yells
i can't breathe..i need out..
i feel my mom pull me up and she pushes me forward
"i'm sorry!" i hear Maddie apologising over and over
"go go go go go" Jill ushers us down the hall
"call the police right now" Abby comes out saying
Chloe puts her arm around me and i cry into her shoulder as we get ushers into another room
"i want mom" i mumble
"i know.." Chloe whispers as she hugs me
i keep crying
Holly then brings Brooke and Paige in the same room as us
and then mom comes in
"hey.." mom pulls in into a hug
"it's okay, you're okay" mom whispers
"i want to go home.." i cry
"i know..shh it's okay i promise it's okay." mom hugs me
time passes..
Kelly, Brooke and Paige gets ushered out
we still had to do the group number
Brooke got fourth in her solo
Paige fifth
Wishbone got second
Two Sapphires first
the group won.
it was an entire blur
but the Hylands are gone..and i don't think they're coming back,
i spoke too soon about this week being amazing
it was far from amazing
it was horrible
the worst experience yet.