{Y/N'S POV}
I have been distancing myself from Mal and I know she knows it. I've stopped slipping, and not on purpose. I can't slip. I would try so hard but it's like I'm stuck in big space. It was irritating me and that irritation was coming out on to others. I had to distance myself from Mal because just being around her made this painful. I hated not being with her, and of course it was hard because we share a dorm.
"Hey Evie." I smiled, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I had been waiting around the corner for Mal to leave and I know that's bad but until I'm out of this, whatever it is, I couldn't bring myself near her.
"Oh Y/n, there you are!" Evie turned to me, breaking the hug. "Mal was looking for you, I'll send her a message."
I spoke rapidly in panic, "Oh, umm, don't, I'll go find her, it's okay."
Evie shook her head. "It will be easier."
Luckily the bell rang and I sighed, "I'll find her after class, I promise."
"I thought she came to get you from classes?" Evie asked with a raised brow.
"Well, I'm not slipped so I'll be fine," I shrug, starting to back up.
"Yea about that..." Evie starts but I turn away.
"I have to get to class." I quickly say before running off, thanking the stars I could get away from that conversation.
I now had art class for an hour and a half, and unfortunately, a break after that. Which I shall be spending by ignoring and avoiding Mal. Art has always been my favourite lesson, it was like a free form of therapy for me. (Me with writing). Our inspiration for today was a pot of beads. Not original but it was cool to see the different ways people who draw/paint an object... But for some reason I had lost my creativity and I was really struggling.
I knew this was because of my slipping issue. It was negative thoughts coming back that slipping usually prevented and the constant thought of wanting to slip. I couldn't take the struggle, I needed to leave, I raised my hand, waiting for my art teacher to answer me, it took her a while but eventually she spotted me.
"Ahh, my star student." Miss Hart approached, I knew she was expecting to see a masterpiece but when she looked I saw her face drop, even though she tried to hide it.
"Oh, Y/n..." Miss Hart looked between my art and the pot of beads in the middle of the room, trying to find the words.
I sighed, "Miss Hart, I wanted to ask to leave early?" I get out as quickly as possible, and my teacher gives me a concerned look. "I need to find Mal." I slightly whisper, like you would with a period excuse. Lucky me she granted my leave, believing I was on the verge of a slip and knew where Mal was.
I rushed up and out of that class all the way to our dorm. Mal had a class which will only last for at least another 45 minutes and there's a possibility that Mal will be told about this so my time could be cut majorly.
I instantly drop my bag at the door and rush to the bathroom, trying to find some sort of painkiller. Not slipping gave me a constant headache, which worsened around Mal, hence the avoiding.
I rummaged through most draws before I found some. After taking the right amount I sat on the floor, a glass of water in hand, slowly taking a sip every few minutes, waiting for the pill to take effect.
"Y/n?" I suddenly hear Mal call out and I swear to myself. I lost track of time.
I quickly cleaned up the bathroom, piling everything back into the draws before standing up straight as Mal opened the door.
"Are you okay?" Mal looked deeply concerned but I smiled with a small nod.
"I was just cleaning..." I try to make an excuse for the commotion she most definitely heard.
Mal spotted something on the counter, snatching before I could even check what it was. "Cleaning for tablets?" I sighed before Mal continued, "And I was told you were slipping?"
"I thought I was, because I had a bad headache, but I'm fine now." I lie through my teeth, only feeling the pain getting worse.
"You probably have a headache from the lack of slipping, baby." Mal smiled as she put the pills back in the draw.
"I'm not slipping, so you can stop using your names and go back to class." I suggest, kind of bitterly.
"I had to check on you, little or not." Mal followed me out of the bathroom to our couch, but instead of sitting with me she stood opposite. I could tell she was irritated now as well.
"Well, you have, I'm..." I stopped, taking in a sharp breath, holding my head for a second. "Fine."
Mal sighed before she sat opposite me, on our coffee table, "I'll choose to believe it when I see it."
"Mal please-" I started but I was quickly cut off.
"You haven't slipped in almost two weeks and it's getting to you. Evie's told me about the sudden rudeness that just comes out sometimes and how you suddenly appear when I leave." Mal gave me a sad smile and I knew what she was going to ask next. "Have I upset you in any way? Maybe I did something wrong?"
"No!" I sat up, still not looking her in the eyes though, "Mal you could never do something wrong for me to completely ignore you." I just managed to get through the sentence before holding my head again.
Mal now moves to the floor, so now I could see her without lifting my head, "Tell me what's wrong."
With that, I broke down, the pain, her comforting words, even just being near her after all this time overwhelmed me. I sobbed with my head in my hands, hiding behind them slightly embarrassed.
Mal moved me onto her lap, rocking us slowly as she whispered more comforting words. "I'm sorry." I managed to get out during my sobs.
"Aww my sweet girl you have nothing to be sorry for." Mal reassured me, which just made me cry more because I knew she was wrong.
"I pushed you away instead of coming to you for help." I admitted, realising now the only way to get out of this was Mal.
Mal pulled me away slightly to look me in the eyes, "With what, bubba?"
I sighed, taking a minute to calm down so I could explain. "I haven't slipped because I can't." I sniffled as Mal wiped a few tears, "I thought it was something wrong with me and I needed to distance myself."
Mal pulled me back closer, not saying a word, which scared me slightly but I couldn't focus on that whilst Mal hummed and rocked us again. It was soothing enough to calm me to a hiccup but I still couldn't feel myself slipping, which I would already be doing by now.
"How are we feeling now baby?" Mal asks after a while of being sat on the floor.
I shrugged, "Not little, if that's what you were asking."
Mal laughed lightly, shaking her head. "That wasn't what I was asking, but that's good to know."
"My head still slightly hurts," I sigh, leaning my head right under Mal's.
Mal plays with my hair as she speaks, "I think you should slip, baby." I immediately started crying again, not slipping really got me emotional. "Hey, I know you don't want to, baby, but it's the only way out of this." Mal smiles down at me and I just nod.
Mal then got up after a minute, "let's go have a bath, hmm? Wash your face and get rid of those tears."
I knew she was talking with a tone to make me feel small, and to be honest it was working. She grabbed us both a new set of clothes before heading into the bathroom, running the bath as I sat on the counter. As the bath was running Mal wiped my face with a wet cloth. And admittedly I leant into her touch.
Mal set me in the water first before she got in herself and I instantly curled up against her. Luckily I didn't actually need the bath so she didn't force me to wash first. Soon enough I felt Mal run warm water down my back as she hummed, soothing me for sure.
Skin to skin definitely helped with this situation.
Throughout this whole process I stayed quiet, I always did that when I was overwhelmed.
"Have I got my baby back?" Mal asked after I started to play with her hair and, without realising, had stuck my thumb in my mouth.
I only nodded again before Mal lifted me out of the bath. I pouted, I had just felt comfortable and now I was cold, even though I was wrapped in a towel,
"Hey don't pout at me missy. Your fingers were getting all wrinkly." Mal stated, placing me on the counter before showing me my own hands.
I turned my hands back to Mal, reaching for her as she dressed. Mal kissed my hands and I giggled, "Mamaaaa."
"There's her beautiful voice." Mama smiled before getting me dressed.
"Let's go see the others, hmm?" Mal asks as we leave the bathroom.
"Evie?" I asked, clinging to her.
"Yeah, we can see Auntie Evie." Mal kissed the top of my head before we left.
A/N
Words: 1564
How do we feel about skin to skin? Maybe nursing soon?
Happy Wednesday! Don't forget to vote!