I stare at Jamie, trying to keep my expression neutral but I know I'm not succeeding. She can't be serious. She wants to be... A blood sucker? A vampire in a family of hunters?
Jamie's propped up on her elbows now so she can look at me. She takes my hesitation as her cue to explain herself. "It would be safer. That man wouldn't have been able to drain me if... I was like you." Her lip quivers as she relives the night. "I would have been able to defend myself."
This is a terrible idea. Somewhere, deep down, Jamie knows it too. She has to. I open my mouth, clamp it closed again. I have to tell her why this is a bad idea but I don't know where to start. I sit up and take her hand in mine.
"Jamie." I sigh. "The transition period lasts for days. And those days are excruciating." I remember the pain in my throat and try to shake the thought from my head. "You'd be irritable and thirsty all the time." I almost chuckle at the next part. "John kept me locked in the basement while I got used to everything." I look her in the eye for the first time since I started explaining. "What Parker's doing isn't normal. He shouldn't be letting newborns run around the city."
Jamie's eyes are focused on her comforter as she snaps the hair tie around her wrist. I want to take her hand in mine again, tell her I'm sorry but I know she needs time to process. Finally, when it feels like my chest is going to explode, she nods.
"You're right," she admits. "I'm just so scared." Her lip quivers.
I can't help myself. I pull her tight against my chest. "I know it was a close call." I swallow the lump in my throat. "I shouldn't have left you by yourself."
Jamie pulls away from me and presses her pointer finger over my lips. "Shh. Don't do that."
"Do what?" I speak around her finger.
She flashes a knowing look. "Take the blame for something out of your control."
I roll my eyes playfully and take her hand before she can pull it away from my mouth. "I'll never leave your side again." I press my lips to her knuckles.
Jamie's lips quirk into a smirk. There's a devious glint in her eyes as she pushes herself from the bed. "In that case..." She walks to the attached bathroom. When I don't move, she glances over her shoulder. "I thought you weren't going to leave my side."
I can't fight the goofy smile on my face as I hop to my feet and follow her. The shower is cranked on before I get there. Jamie wraps her arms around my neck and stands on her toes to kiss me once I'm in the steamy bathroom. For once, she doesn't have to tell me what she wants. I already know.
She guides my hands to her waist and takes my lip between her teeth, biting hard. I pull her shirt off, let my eyes linger on the perfection of her tan skin and misplaced freckles. Jamie blushes under my stare. I'm pulling at her bra while she's unbuttoning my pants and, after a blur of clothes coming off and sloppy kisses, we're in her shower.
I press her against the wall and lean over to kiss her neck. Hot water streams down my back as I bite the soft skin on her neck.
Jamie lets out a little gasp that turns into a chuckle. "I know it shouldn't turn me on so much when you do that but—"
I bite her again, this time harder. Not hard enough to break skin but hard enough to leave a mark later. My stomach jolts with butterflies at the noise she makes in the back of her throat.
"Gwen." She moves my hand to her waist again, pushing it down lower when I don't pick up her hint. "Please."
She moans as I slip my fingers inside of her. My confidence is waning fast but I try to hide it and focus on the way she moves her hips against my fingers. I've never done this before. I can't help but wonder if Jamie can tell.
"Can I try something?" I ask.
She nods fast, not taking time to consider what I might ask.
"I want to taste you."
Jamie's cheeks go pink.
I drop to my knees and pull her leg over my shoulder.
"Fuck." Jamie's fingers are in my hair. My mouth is against her. My fingers inside of her. And she can't stop the shudder that runs through her body as she grinds her hips against my tongue.
"Gwen," she repeats, gasping. Before she can continue, she sucks in a sharp breath and clamps her free hand over her mouth to stifle her moans. Her grip on my hair loosens and I pull away, looking up at her.
Her legs are still twitching as I push to my feet. She leans against me again, and I steady her.
I can't fight the insecurity anymore. "Did you..."
Jamie laughs once against my collarbone. "Are you joking, Gwen?" She's nodding before I can respond. "Yes."
I duck to kiss her neck again. Her skin is warm where I bit earlier. "Good," I mumble against her skin.
"Gwen," Jamie says and I look at her. "Can I?" She pulls on my hips so we're pressed together. "Um..." She looks down, blushing.
I take her chin between my fingers and lift so she's looking at me again. "Is Jamie Vanderbilt nervous?"
She giggles and we're kissing again, except this time when Jamie's fingers brush against my thigh, I pull away.
"It's hard right now," I try to explain. "To focus. It's hard to focus and I'm afraid of letting go. I'm afraid I'll hurt you."
Jamie's shoulders fall so slightly I have to question if I imagined it. She's nodding as she takes my face in her hands. "I understand." She presses her lips to mine once more, and really kisses me this time. She's not rushing anymore and I drink in every second of her body pressed against mine in the safety of her shower.
After a while, Jamie pumps shampoo into her palm and runs it through my hair sudsing it up until bubbles are spilling down my forehead.
"You're totally doing this on purpose," I tease, wiping the bubbles out of my eye. Once we're both clean, we climb out of the shower. I towel dry and get dressed and when I turn around, Jamie's drying her hair with a towel wrapped around her body.
"I like this," I tell her, running my fingers along the crease of the towel.
She catches my hand before I untuck the towel and flashes me a playful smile. "I can't wait until we have a normal life together." She nuzzles her forehead into my neck.
"I don't think it'll ever be normal," I admit. "A vampire and a hunter, I mean..." I let the thought trail off. There's no use spinning about it now. We've done the unthinkable this long by putting one foot in front of the other. "We can get close to normal though. If that's okay with you," I add when she looks at me with her vibrant green eyes.
Her voice is soft as she says, "of course" and kisses me again.
I'm surprised when we make our way out to the kitchen and there's no sign of John and the others. I'd thought they'd be back half an hour ago but maybe I misjudged how long we showered together. I push down the panic in my stomach and sit at the dining table where Aurora left omelets for us.
"Is it still hard for you to be around me?" Jamie asks after she gulps back half her orange juice.
I shrug one shoulder, take a bite of my food to stall so I can think of the right answer. "A little bit," I admit. "Especially right now. I could really use a um... I could use some blood." I try to gauge her reaction.
She smiles and I can feel weight lifting from my chest. "I know you're a vampire, Gwen. I know you drink blood to survive."
I clear my throat. Something about her saying that makes me uncomfortable. Like it's a dirty secret of mine.
"I know. I know, I just..."
Jamie squeezes my hand. "It's okay. We'll—" She's cut off by an electrical whir followed by a popping sound. Her eyebrows pull together. "I think the generators clicked off," she explains.
"Maybe someone fixed whatever happened at the power plant?" I ask.
Jamie's about to respond when something chimes from the living room. "That's the camera. Probably just John and everyone coming back."
I follow her into the living room anyway, leaving our plates of half-eaten omelets forgotten on the dining table.
She clicks a flat screen television on. The air in the room feels thick and quiet. The cameras show every corner of her property, not leaving a single blind spot and there's a man in black and gray tactical gear walking up the driveway. Most of his face is covered by a baseball hat and sunglasses.
"I can't tell if he's a newborn," I tell her. "His eyes are covered."
Jamie shakes her head. "He doesn't look like he belongs to Parker's cult. Maybe he's military?"
He's at the front door before we can think of a plan. The door rattles as he knocks hard. "Mrs. Vanderbilt, we need to speak with you." He's shouting despite the presence of newborns on every corner.
Jamie looks at me with wide eyes. "You have to hide," she whispers.
I shake my head hard once. "Absolutely not. I'm not leaving you with a stranger right now."
"If he's a hunter he'll kill you, Gwen."
"And if he's a vampire, he'll kill you."
Another series of loud knocks. "We know this house is occupied. Please open the door."
"I'll stay out of sight," I tell her. "But I'm not leaving you alone with him."
Jamie swallows hard and nods. "Okay."
Jamie makes her way to the foyer and I stand in the connecting hallway. I can see Jamie's back in the shattered mirror Mrs. Vanderbilt neglected to fix but I can't see the man clearly from this angle. I hold my breath as Jamie opens the door a crack. If something goes wrong, I need to be there fast. I don't have time to second guess myself.
The door creaks.
Jamie's voice shakes. "How can I help you?"