It's been two months since I've been to Nevernight, ironic since I own the place, but there was a little problem I had to sort out in Sicily, now that that's been handled I can finally return.
Today seems like the worst day to be back, though. The weather's great, the place is quiet and everyone seems happy. Everyone but me.
I hate the first of July. It's the day the world decided to take my father from me. It sort of feels like the universe is mocking me with all the cheerfulness in the air. Maybe if I pray hard enough, it'll start to hail.
Living without Matteo is painful, I miss him. I miss his smile, I miss the way he'd argue with the hair brush when it got tangled in my hair, I miss the bedtime stories he read me even at my big age, I miss his forehead kisses, his smell, his laughter, his joy, I miss it all but most of all I miss him.
I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw a drop on my phone screen.
He'd be running around the kitchen trying to make my favorite marble cake with the icing and almond slices on top.
He was a horrible cook and an even worse cleaner, but he'd get my cake perfect every time.
Somedays, I'd wish it'd all been a dream, and when I woke up, he'd be watching Popeye the Sailor Man and drinking hot chocolate in the living room.
I even dreamt of it this morning, and I woke up crying.
I can't believe he's gone. He was my everything, I know he's done some pretty bad stuff, but he did them for good reasons, and if that's what he was judged on, then the whole world should be cleansed. He didn't deserve to go. He deserved more than what life offered him.
It hurts, knowing he's not here, and he's not coming back, hurts. Matteo's been the first man to show me what true love was, what it feels like, and how happy it makes you.
There'll be no candle lit bright enough to embrace his light in my life.
I'll never have my father walk me down the aisle, brush my hair, scare my boyfriend, threaten my fiancé, plan to murder my husband, or play with his grandchild.
I'll never have his shoulder to lean on.
I love you, dad.
.♤.
"You know stalking me isn't going to help you."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Cut the shit Giano, you know what you're doing isn't going to bring him back."
I watch as his nose flares and his knuckles tighten around the glass.
"I don't even know what my grandfather saw in you. You're everything my father said you were." He spat.
"I appreciate your kind words, but I should inform you. Today's not the day to piss me off."
"Was he really that bad, Essence?" He asked as his eyes glossed over.
"You can't handle this conversation right now, Giano. You've been drinking since half noon, it's almost midnight." I turn to walk away.
"We went through Grandpa's stuff today. You know he's kept every photo of us in an album. Most of them were you, though, considering he'd been cut out of my life."
"They made me believe he left because he already had the perfect kid in his life, and it wasn't me. The whole time, she allowed my father to keep me from him, and then she had the audacity to hit me when I found Grandpa's journal and confronted her."
"She knew he killed him, Es. She knew, and she stayed. I don't care how much of a perfect husband or father he was. She knew he was a monster outside of us, and she still kept him in our lives."
"She hasn't been to grandpa's grave since he died but she's been to his everyday since, and he's the bastard that deserved his death, I'm just sorry he didn't get to suffer before he left." He said as tears ran down his cheeks.
I signaled over to two of the bodyguards, and they helped him upstairs, placing him on the sofa that only Alessio's been on, and then they left.
I may not have known Giano my entire life but he was Matteo's most prized jewel, his eyeball and because of that, he'll always have my shoulder to cry on, he just doesn't need to know that so soon.
"Mum hates you, you know?" He asks, but it's more of a statement.
"She says you killed him." Now, that was more of a question.
"I did." I simply stated and watched as the shock took over his body, I guess he's going to hate me now, too.
"Good, as much as I loved him, he deserved it." Was all he said before falling asleep.
How do I go about this situation? Do I leave him here, call an Uber? I mean, I know where he lives thanks to the NDA all the customers sign, but should I?
Deciding to let him rest, I place a pair of Tylenol and a jug of water next to him for when he wakes up, pulling a blanket I got from the closet I have here over him, I check for a fever and then leave, locking the door behind me.
As I made my way downstairs, a pair of perfectly blue eyes stared at me, taking me in from head to heels.
It wasn't until I reached the bottom of the stairs that I noticed a pair of hands wrapping around his waist from behind and revealing a blonde headed bimbo, girl, I mean girl.
I quickly move my eyes from them and locate Raphael at the far back of the dance floor. That's the girl he'd leave me for? At least she's pretty. I thought to myself.
Snapping out of my thoughts, I head over to Raphael, and we both sit in the VIP Lounge area. Raph was one of the first guys I met when I moved here. He's actually the one that sold me this spot to build Nevernight.
His mom was sick, and they needed the money. At the time, it was just him and his little brother left to take care of her because their dad died in a plane crash on his way home.
We've been somewhat inseparable since. He's two years older than me, which means he thinks he can bully me and get away with it, and I mean he does, but only because I let him.
"He's been here a while now, says he's looking for his friend." Raphael states.
I look over to him and find him glaring in our direction. His body looks tense, and his pupils look dilated, I can't really tell for sure.
I scanned the room for his blonde friend but didn't see her.
"You can inform him about his whereabouts and his safety, but Giano won't be leaving here until he's sobered up."
"Es, you know more than anyone here, the services Nevernight offers, so why not let a driver take him home?" I guess Raphael's right, but Giano isn't just a customer anymore. He's family.
"My decision's final." I say then walk away, passing Alessio and making my way to the private rooms.
The rooms, much to my dislike, were a little touch from Raphael, and despite my distaste, it actually does quite well.
One room costs at least five grand per hour, and the prices increase the bigger you go.
The guards usually check in this area every fifteen minutes, just to ensure the safety of both parties.
Regardless of what many may think not everyone can book a room, like I've said before the price on one of these are quite hefty but besides that only single individuals or long time couples are allowed in here.
The last thing I want in my establishment is a cheater, and even then, I'd get rid of it.
Which is why I'm disappointed to find my favorite bouncer fucking Alessio's little girlfriend. Is this what he really wants, a bimbo that gives it up to complete strangers?
Why do all the good men make the most disappointing decisions?
Even as I carry myself closer to them, allowing my heels to hit the floor louder than it usually does, they don't hear me.
Ugh, I'm going to regret this. My poor eyes.
Placing a hand on Julius's shoulder, I turn him around and watch as his face contorts into confusion and then fear. "You're fired." Was all I said before he hurriedly got dressed and ran away.
"You're supposed to take the bimbo with you." I yelled after him, glanced at her, and shook my head in my palms.
Regaining my posture, as I gave her some time to get dressed, I made a call to Raphael, and security should be on its way to escort her out.
She turns around to face me, and I feel like lowering my gaze not because I'm intimidated but because the sight of cheaters makes me sick. She makes me sick, and to know Alessio would choose her over me makes me even more sick.
Men are as stupid as the bimbos they fall in love with.
It wasn't long until security escorted her out kicking and screaming. She even tried to grab onto Alessio on the way, which only made it worse for her.
I can't say I blame her. He is the most breathtaking person you'll come across, but why would you risk losing him when you know you have him? It's quite stupid if you ask me, but like the lost puppy he is, he followed her outside after giving me a disappointed look.
Like, what did I do? Ugh, I need a nap...
I can't believe I have a guy messing with my head, and I've only met him once, like, is the coochie that dry?
Walking up to my office, I texted Raphael to let him know I'm going to take a nap and switched off my phone, I checked on Giano and then went to sleep in the hidden bedroom I had built in case of late night activities.