Dressed to impress, Generation 1 and 2 sat in the audience. A row of masculine beauty on display. Why R You was nominated for best series and Zee was nominated for hottest star. This was NuNew's first award ceremony, and he was wiggling in his seat. Ravishing in his new look. The smitten young man was so proud of his crush. Being in the audience, and seeing Zee, gracious and resplendent receiving awards, made NuNew swell with pride.
NuNew snuck a glance at Park who was sitting next to him, and mentally smoothed away a pang of anxiety. The only downer of the evening was that Aoftion approved pursuing a pairing with Park and he wanted it to start tonight.
"Park must have spoken to Aoftion about it immediately after we talked. Suddenly, every media picture, every line up, I am standing with Park. Like he is my date. He even put his arm around me and squeezed my waist. I feel guilty that I am so uncomfortable, but I feel so awkward and self-conscious."
"James, Net and Nat all have questions in their eyes. I have not had a chance to explain anything to them. How could I? It was only a few hours ago that Park brought this up. I thought I had until the workshop, at least. Hopefully this ends when the event ends so I can sit with them on the bus to explain."
On the way back to the bus, Park was chatting with Mark so NuNew took advantage of the jubilation, grabbed his friends, and ran ahead of the group, giggling, making sure they grabbed four seats together so they could all talk. Faces flushed and panting, his three friends stared at him expectantly. Before NuNew could begin, Aoftion got on the bus and announced he had booked the VIP section at Generation 1's favorite club, and everyone was invited. The entire bus roared.
Zee followed Aoftion onto the bus and everyone began cheering again. As Zee made his way down the aisle, receiving congratulations and words, NuNew gave his friends a hold on signal. He wanted to make sure to congratulate Zee.
"Priorities, okay!"
When Zee made it to where the four boys were sitting, they all congratulated him. Zee made sure to give NuNew a long questioning look. NuNew smiled brightly to show Zee he was okay. Satisfied Zee continued past them.
"Zee must have noticed the Park thing."
"What is that about?" hissed James.
Hanging over his chair, he stared down at NuNew. NuNew shrugged, Zee was not what he wanted to talk about with them. Apparently, that was what they wanted to talk about.
"Why was Zee hugging you? Why were you crying?", Nat asked.
NuNew did not know how to answer that either. He made a face and fought back a fresh wave of emotions.
"I don't know why I started crying. I am. I." "How can I tell them I am overwhelmed with school and work. I feel like I am drowning. I am falling for Zee for real and I am devastated I cannot partner with him. Somehow saying yes to Park, feels weird like I am settling. I even feel guilty towards Zee. It's all nuts. I am nuts."
NuNew said none of that and instead asked them a question.
"Have you decided who you want to be your romantic acting partner?"
Net and James looked at each other and smiled.
"We are approved as partners, and Aoftion may already have a series for us.", James said.
His beautiful face was smug as Nat and NuNew started talking at the same time. The two paired boys smiled.
"Okay Okay, settle down. This just happened and we have not had a chance to tell you. We were planning on talking with you tonight but then NuNew and Zee and...", Net said.
James eyes narrowed and he looked at NuNew.
"We are still not done with you.", said Hames.
His eyes were flaming like his hair. The three boys all nodded their heads. So, NuNew, to distract from himself asked another question.
"What happened?"
Easily redirected, James continued.
"Aoftion came to us last week and asked if we liked acting together. We said yes, of course. He told us he noticed we had a good friendship and wondered if we would be comfortable acting together in some NC scenes, we said yes."
Net laid his bronzed hand over James's ivory hand, the dissimilarity in color eye catching, like a work of art.
"Not exactly. What you said was something like..."
Net made his eyes big like James' and made his voice higher.
"'What? I don't know.' Then he looked me up and down."
Net did a perfect James body scan, raised eyebrow and all.
"'Yeah, I guess I could get into that.'"
Everyone laughed so loud, that people started staring. The four boys quieted down.
"Aoftion gave us a few improv scenes to do. They were both flirty office scenes, and then asked us to stare into each other's eyes. That was it, until yesterday, when he told us he had a series and wanted to know if we wanted to audition for it. We, of course, said yes!", James said.
Nat and NuNew stared at each other in disbelief. They couldn't believe their friend's luck.
"I really hope you get it.", said NuNew.
"Yeah.", said Nat.
Before somebody could turn the conversation back to him, NuNew asked Nat.
"What about you?"
Nat had been at DMD longer than any of the Gen2 boys. He had turned 18 in August and was the youngest DMD actor. Until now, he could not act in any NC scenes. Therefore, he had been given roles suitable to his age. A younger brother, or a school age boy.
"Everyone has kind of avoided the topic until recently because of my age. There was some talk about pairing me up with Max or Zee. It seems Zee is leaving BL, so maybe Max? I guess the answer is I don't know. I trust Aoftion I know he has a plan for me."
All three boys turned to NuNew, and NuNew knew his time was up. James, the boldest of the four friends quipped.
"You have stalled long enough, spill it."
Gathering his courage, NuNew began by reminding them about his first conversation with Park. When Park had asked him who he wanted to partner with, and how he found out Zee did not want to act in BLs anymore. James, the impatient imp, waved at him to hurry to the good stuff. NuNew obliged.
"Today on the way here Park asked me to try out partnering together. He told me we could start by seeing if we had chemistry at the next workshop. Not a big deal, right?"
Everyone nodded.
"I should say yes. Why wouldn't I? He is nice, experienced, and professional. I am not agreeing to anything other than some compatibility testing. The problem is, I didn't feel ready yet and said yes anyway. The next thing I know, Aoftion comes to me and says we can give it a go. As in starting tonight. I was confused and unprepared, but Park guided me through it. Anyway, that is what you saw at the award ceremony."
There was a long pause. When NuNew's friends realized that was it, they exchanged looks. Gently Net asked what the boys really wanted to know.
"But why were you crying, NuNew, na?
NuNew could just say he was overwhelmed. It was the truth, but he knew his friends cared and wanted to know why. He attempted to explain.
"I am stretched a little thin. I feel like I am not doing anything well. Between school and work, I am a little tired, na. I think I have lost my motivation. When Park asked me and I said yes, I felt like I was officially giving up on something special. I don't know how to explain this better guys. I am sorry."
Nat put his hand on NuNew's hand and spoke.
"Does this have to do with Zee?"
NuNew, nodded, mute with a plethora of emotions he could barely contain. All three boys put their hands on NuNew, showing their solidarity.
The four friends were sitting together in the VIP area. They had stuffed themselves full of bar food and NuNew was rubbing his tummy sated. Only Net and James were old enough to drink, so NuNew and Nat were sipping mocktails. NuNew had never been to a nightclub before and was having a great time watching Mark, Zee, Aoftion, Park, and Poppy dancing on the dance floor. The quartet was not sure if they were in awe of the older men, or if this was the funniest thing they had ever seen.
NuNew glanced around the table at his three friends. He felt so much warmth and love for them all.
"I have never had a group of friends like this. I have Julian, my bestie. Nova, who is the other half of me. Lots of friends from school. This is different. James, Net, and Nat are friends who I share a common goal with. We support each other. Being an entertainer is so far removed from the rest of the world. The rewards and challenges are larger than life. I can't talk to anyone about it from my life before DMD. It is too incomprehensible. They cannot counsel me, shield me, or share my burden. I am lucky to have found such nice friends to go on this journey with."
NuNew slung his arm around Nat and James and reached over James to pull Net into the hug.
"Group Hug! Thank you for being my friends. I don't think I could get through this without you, krubb", NuNew said.
Everyone smiled.
"In a nightclub you make a toast. To friendship.", said Net.
They all clinked their glasses together.
NuNew and Nat were just leaving the restroom when a tipsy Zee and Max, arms around each other, descended upon them.
"Why aren't you dancing?", demanded Max to Nat.
"Yeah.", said a happy drinky Zee.
"It's Zee's celebration, join the celebration, na. Come on, let's go.", said Max.
He put his other arm around Nat and dragged him towards the dance floor. Nat had a death grip on NuNew, so he was towed along. Zee led the way winding through the throng of dancers. When he reached Mark, Park, and the rest of the Domundi gang he stopped, and rounded on the two boys and yelled.
"Let's dance!", Zee said.
He started busting some moves. NuNew laughed with Nat. Now they were part of the hilarity.
"I hope Net and James are not filming this."
Shyness made NuNew a little awkward at first. It did not last long. Being part of such an enthusiastic group made him feel joyous and safe. The music, and the movement of so many bodies pulsing to the same rhythm, made it possible to release his cares for a time. He began to enjoy himself. Even when Park grabbed him and danced with him, he did not care that the group teased them in acknowledgement of their budding partnership. None of that mattered on the dancefloor. Only the pulse of music and the magic of hundreds of people moving as one held any significance. That, and the pair of lovely eyes that watched him.
Singing along to a song he loved, his body relaxed and free, NuNew felt someone claim his waist from behind. The familiar scent of cologne and sex flooded his senses. With a happy sigh Nu leaned against Zee's warm chest and matched his body to Zee's. From behind him, Zee nuzzled his cheek against NuNew's and said, "You look incredible tonight." Gasping, NuNew felt like a fire was raging in his body as he felt Zee's hand find the sheer shirt under his jacket. Tracing his elegant fingers over Nu's stomach until he found his tiny waist and squeezed it possessively. They stayed this way until Nat pretending to be jealous pulled NuNew away and back to their friends at the table.
Sweaty, and tired, NuNew and Nat stepped outside through a door that led to the VIP patio. The furniture was set up to facilitate intimate Tête-à-Têtes. Tired, they chose an out of the way couch and sat down, fanning each other's faces with cocktail menus. The fresh air felt incredible, and both boys leaned back into the cushions breathing heavily from the exertion of dancing. After a time, New's breathing, and heart calmed. He looked over at Nat, who was already asleep. Long pretty lashes resting on his cheeks. Reality began hedging its way into Nu's thoughts.
"Tomorrow morning, I have school, then I am on set. I can study in the van and on set."
NuNew sighed, and rubbed his eyes.
"Another long day, and late night.", he thought fuzzily and was soon fast asleep.
"Mmmm" Warm. Smells so good. "Sigh." Snuggle. Burrow. "Sigh." Perfect.
"NuNew.", a voice called.
"MMM MMM.", whined NuNew.
Refusing to wake up from his warm sensory cocoon of perfectness.
"Nu."
The voice more insistent.
"Nong, we are leaving."
"Leaving? It smells good and it is warm. Not going."
NuNew scrunched up his nose and pouted, mostly asleep. He felt fingers smoothing out his crinkly nose.
"Don't make that face NuNew. You will get wrinkles."
NuNew twitched his nose then relaxed. Obedient even in sleep. He nuzzled deeper into the warmth. He felt fingers playing with his lips.
"This kid is going to kill me."
The voice was soft and husky. NuNew's lips tickled so he shoved his face into the wall of warmth. He felt arms cradle him and then a sensation of weightlessness. Strong arms had him and he felt safe.
A bump jolted NuNew awake. He was in the dark leaning against someone warm. He was on a bus. He could smell something good. Smelled like citrus and incense, and sex.
"Zee?"
Fully awake now, NuNew sat up and looked around.
How did I get here? Why is he here?
Looking at Zee who was looking back at him smiling at his confusion.
"Why am I here, na?"
Zee smiled and pulled him in and muttered.
"I can't take it."
"Take what, na?", asked Nu.
"You fell asleep at the club. No one could find you or Nat. I found you both asleep outside on the patio. I could not wake you up.", Zee said.
Zee smiled ruefully.
"I had to carry you to the bus."
"Carry me?", Nu asked.
NuNew was horrified.
"In front of everyone?", asked NuNew.
Before he could think about what he was doing he slapped Zee's arm.
"You should have woken me up!", Nu said.
Zee looked at NuNew and then the arm he slapped and back at NuNew. Immediately, NuNew felt wretched.
"What is wrong with me? Is he your boyfriend? You can't slap him like that?"
"I am so sorry Mr. Panich."
NuNew immediately began patting and rubbing on the spot he smacked. Zee stared at the little hands administering care and then at NuNew's face, clearly amused. NuNew immediately took his hands off Zee. He was bright red and hot, but also was suspicious.
"Are you making fun of me?", asked NuNew.
Wielding big hurt eyes and a pout. Zee turned his body away muttering.
"I can't take it. Going to die."
He turned back regaining his demeanor and raised one eyebrow at NuNew but said nothing. NuNew turned his back on Zee, full on pout. Arms crossed and everything. He heard Zee laughing.
"Nhu."
Zee coaxed. NuNew ignored him, embarrassed by the entire situation. He was putting two and two together. All the sleepy muttering and the warmth. The hands on his lips. There was no way the shy NuNew could look at Zee.
"Nhu?"
There was a question in Zee's voice.
"Are you really upset with me, na?"
NuNew shook his head in the negative, arms still crossed, and facing the bus window.
"Nhu. You were not the only one. Max had to carry a sleepy Nat too.", said Zee.
That made it a little better, but New was still embarrassed.
"Can you turn around now? I want to talk to you", asked Zee.
Zee coaxed a little more and NuNew did not have the ability to disobey his idol. He turned back towards Zee but looked down, trying to hide his red face. Zee laughed.
"You can't look at me now, na?"
"He is definitely teasing me."
Feeling a little defiant, which gave him bravado, he looked up at Zee, eyes narrowed. Zee's lips kept trying to turn up, but he forced them down and spoke.
"Don't be mad, Nong, na. Come here and talk to your Zee."
Still suspicious, NuNew asked boldly, "About what?"
"Tell me about partnering with Park. Is that true?", asked Zee.
"Seriously, can anyone keep their mouth shut in this place? It only happened a few hours ago. It barely even happened. It has not happened. We are just seeing."
Still a little sleepy and lulled into an unusual sense of informality, NuNew glared at Zee.
"Isn't it your fault I am in this predicament? You are the one who is leaving BL. What else am I supposed to do.", thought NuNew bitterly.
"Oi the cute kitten has claws.", said Zee, referring to NuNew's glare.
NuNew quickly ruled his emotions and face.
"How do you know? I mean we are not partnering.", he said clumsily. "We were supposed to do some work together at the workshop, to see. That is all."
Zee was quiet. He could see NuNew was tied up in knots. NuNew, frustrated plunged on.
"I was taken by surprise when he asked me today, na. I had no reason to say no na."
This was said a little defensively. Then he calmed a bit, taking a deep breath.
"We were supposed to do some exercises at the workshop."
He repeated with a little regret. NuNew felt like he was admitting to his boyfriend that he was going out with another guy.
"This is ridiculous. What do I have to feel guilty about. Why am I like this?"
NuNew continued softly.
"When we got to the venue, Aoftion came to me and told me we could try to see if we made a good pair. I said Okay. I did not know what was happening. Then Park explained that this meant we should start now. Only standing next to each other and taking pictures together. That sort of thing. I guess things can move very quickly, right?", asked Nu.
Zee nodded. NuNew's chest was getting tighter and tighter. He refused to cry again, so he stomped down his tears and continued.
"There is no problem with what anyone did. The problem is me. I am so inexperienced. I don't know what is going on half the time. I find myself in situations and it feels like I don't have time to react and."
NuNew was beginning to lose control again, so he stopped and took a couple of breaths. Zee was patting his hand with a rhythm meant to soothe. NuNew smiled brightly at Zee.
"I am such a burden. I am sorry. I am sorry you always have to put me back together. I will try to become stronger, na. I am sorry.", said NuNew.
Tears were now leaking down his face. Zee sighed and pulled him into an embrace stroking his back with the same rhythm.
"No need to be sorry, na. No need to apologize. Everyone goes through this. You are so sweet and kind. You are no trouble to me, na. Okay? You can always come to me. Please come to me. Okay?", Zee said.
NuNew nodded his head yes and gave a muffled "Okay Zee."
The informal use of Zee's name melted Zee's heart and he gave the boy a gentle squeeze, almost misty eyed himself.