It had indeed been a long night thought RM as the last of his brothers finally left his room..his head was pounding , he'd drunk too much wine , too much beer and listened to too much advice..."and I'm still none the wiser !" He said to his reflection in the mirror.
After slowly explaining the entire evening in detail , minus the erection and pink lace , the group had had mixed reactions. Suga although quiet in nature had made him jump by calling Rose a bitch! The room had been shocked into silence. Suga had decided that this Rose was a tease and RM shouldn't feel guilty about anything as the women had probably had more boyfriends than BTS had had no 1s.
Immediately RM had wanted to stand up for Rose. He'd actually felt angry and protective towards her , but he'd tried hard not to let that show as really it didn't make sense .
The three J's were on the fence and said the wine had a lot to do with it , and RM was just a natural disaster zone , so of course his first kiss wouldn't go smoothly , and Taekook , so loved up with each other and happy. They wanted all of the brothers to be the same so saw this as an apportunity that RM couldn't afford to miss.
Of course apologies....again...where needed but they were sure if Rm liked her , and she liked him , that a compromise could be reached.
Maybe RM needed to be around her to get his crush on her out of his system ,or maybe she could be trusted and would be the perfect first love for RM.
Everyone knew first loves rarely lasted , if she valued her privacy , if she didn't want a relationship , then maybe if she was still willing after tonight RM should go for it.
Rm knew they all had his best interests at heart , but none of them had been there , felt the air crackle with tension , felt how his heart had beat almost out of his chest, or how dry his mouth had got. None of them could understand his deep deep shame of kissing with out asking , and on top of that kissing some one who didn't even like him for who he was.
He rubbed at his temples and went to get a bottle of water from the fridge . Over and over memories of the evening mingled in his brain. His brothers advice , his lack of courage , his shame ....like a kaleidoscope images penetrated one after an other .... pink lace , pink lips , pink cheeks ... a stream of swear words left his mouth and he stormed off to the bedroom.
He stripped to his boxers and flopped onto the bed , face down. He wanted to scream into his pillow , he wanted to rewind time to before the bike incident, he wanted tomorrow done and out the way so he could go back to his almost perfect life.
Tomorrow !! Rm scrambled to a sitting position and stared wide eyed around the room... he'd momentarily forgotten about tomorrow , he had to see her , had to face her , act Normal and engaging ...more swear words left his mouth and he hung his head low.
By 3am RM was completely sober , the pounding in his head wasn't any better and sleep was impossible.
He picked up his phone, should he text his manager and cancel , he honestly didn't feel very well , but put the phone down again .
What sort of leader was he if he couldn't even keep to a schedual.
Maybe Rose would cancel ! The hopeful thought popped into his head and had him reaching for his phone to check for emails.. but no she hadn't..of course he thought wriley, that would be too easy ..
Eventually he must have fallen asleep because suddenly it was morning and gone 9 ! Jumping out of bed , memories of the night before bombarded his brain and his tired eyes shut where he stood.
With a sigh he opened them again and grabbed a bottle of ice cold water and drank thirstily.
At some point during the night he'd come to a decision. He would do the taping with Rose , with out wine in his system and being for warned and prepared , he was sure he could be polite and civil to her.
This optimism in his abilities kept him going for nearly 40 minutes. Long enough to shower and complete his skin care routine , long enough to actually enjoy a cup of coffee and long enough for him to wonder what he would do between now and 3 o clock..
By 11 o clock though other thoughts had returned , including shame . He had always prided himself on his manners , how he acted with his brothers , and infront of Army was different , make believe, but the real RM would always show respect to his elders, hold doors open , give up seats , the real RM would absolutely never touch a stranger with out their consent !
He'd been wrong he knew that , the circumstances made no difference, at the end of the day he was wrong , and that meant he had to apologise again , but do it properly and sincerely .... and in a public place , he thought to himself .
Still with the towel wrapped around his waist RM sat on the sofa and readied his phone .
It took another 10 minutes to find the right words and another few to actually be brave enough to press send , but once done he threw the phone on the bed , as though a hot potatoe and quickly busied himself with getting dressed.
Ting., he heard just as he was putting his socks on , his heart did a little back flip and he practically ran and grabbed the phone.
" do you want to come have breakfast with us ? " it was from Tae , disspointment stung and then he berated himself , he loved his brothers and they were only reaching out because they cared. He quickly typed a response thanking him but declining, and put his phone down again.
He picked up one of his favourite books and sat in a chair just as his phone tinged again , the book dropped to the floor in his haste to get his phone.
Nerves and frustration had him on edge when he saw it was from a producer friend ..he didn't even bother reading it and went to throw the phone back down again when it tinged for a 3rd time..
From English Rose ...