Sarcasm Professionals

By karateunicornalc

724 31 49

Hello my guys, gals, and gender neutral pals! If you could look at the cover and read the title for a moment... More

One down, nineteen to go
French is an Eiffel language
Mediterranean homesick blues
Bjorken telephone
Brazilian pain forest
Hawaiian honey ruin.
Hello and Dubai
It's the end of the line

A tisket, a casket, I'm gonna blow a gasket

53 4 3
By karateunicornalc

MK grabbed a tip. 

"Transylvania." 

Explanationnnnnn 

"Tran-el-an-ya Tra-nel-ayn-na" 

Don spat out his fake vampire teeth. 

"Transylvania. home of majestic mountains, bold Saxon architecture, and the birthplace of the heebie-jeebies. Teams must travel here, to this castle, to receive their next tip." 

Explanation overrrrrr 

All the teams were on the same bus, lmao, suck on that ice Dunces! 

"What is this strange feeling?" Crimson questioned. 

"I fear it may be... happiness!" Ennui said. 

"Holy crap, you can pronounce that word?!" MK said, earning a laugh from Gina. 

The bus arrived at the station and they got out. They got in line for tickets, and ducked as Stephanie was thrown over their heads. They got on the first flight. Yay them! 

~Plane. ZOOM~ 

The plane touched down in Transylvania, and all the teams got off. 

Everyone but the Goths and Sarcasm Professionals were terrified. 

Duel confessional 

Goths 

Crimson: *Monotone.* Okay, Dracula was the first goth ever. He was our king. To be here is... I just... I can't. I'm so... 

Ennui: *Equally monotone* Hey, that was close. You almost got color in your face. 

*Random wolf howls from somewhere in the distance* 

Surfer dudes 

Brody: We look around and there's no taxis around, but we look up the road and there's the castle! 

Geoff: Oh, so creepy! I got goosebumps! 

Brody: Dude, I nearly took a goose dump *Points at his shorts.* 

Geoff: *Chuckles* Hilarious bro! 

*The two friends chuckle at Brody's horrible joke.* 

End 

They ran up the hill to where the Don Box was waiting, and Stephanie was celebrating. 

"Yes! First ones here!" Stephanie cheered. 

MK mimicked a buzzer sound "Nup! Tie." she corrected. 

 "Whatever! We're still going to beat you!" Stephanie replied. 

"I wish you good luck." Gina smirked, doing a lil curtsey. 

"How are we even in first anyway? The goths were way ahead of us!" Ryan realized. 

~Very good question, and the answer is...~ 

Ennui held up a painting of Vlad the Impaler. 

"Doesn't vlad look striking?" he asked in his usual monotone voice. 

"I see the similarities." Crimson complimented, also monotone. 

"Stop. You'll make me blush." her boyfriend replied. 

~back to the show...~ 

Stephanie grabbed a tip. 

"All in." she read before turning to Ryan and giving him a hug "Awww. I love it when we get to do things together!" she cooed. 

Ryan is uncomfortable, but trying not to show it. 

MK grabbed a tip. "All in. Casket-ball." 

A/n, why yes, i did come up with the name, thank you for asking. 

Explanationnnnnn 

"For this all in challenge teams must enter Dracula's castle and find a coffin. Whoever took the tip from the Don Box must then drag the coffin to the graveyard with their teammate inside and tip it into an open grave. *Shudder/ shiver.* Creepy!" 

Explanation overrrrrr 

"Complete this task to receive your next travel tip from the local grave digger. The team member inside the coffin may not get out or help at all..." Gina read, sounding more and more concerned and doubtful as she read. 

Confessional 

MK: I have no upper body strength. 

Gina: MK has no upper body strength. 

End 

Idk, in some way they met up with the sisters and surfers, so idk. 

It was very creepy. There were bats, and spiders, and those weird portraits where the eyes follow you that I really want in my room to scare unwanted guests. 

"... then he screamed 'Dude, that moose doesn't need mouth to mouth, it's just a head on a wall!'" Brody said, finishing up some weird story about his friends. 

Geoff, Kitty, Gina and MK laughed at his story. Emma was pissed. 

"Time out!" Emma yelled "The two of us can continue down this hall, and you four can... go away." 

"Damn, someone's parents never loved them." MK muttered, rolling her eyes. 

"Rad idea! Cover more ground! If we find a coffin, we'll call you guys with our secret signal" Brody said, not getting that Emma was annoyed with him. 

He and Geoff made strangled bird sounds. 

Kitty laughed and took a selfie with the two clowns in the background. 

Duel confessional 

Sarcasm professionals 

Gina: Should we..? 

MK: yeah. let's make like a tree and get the hell out of here. 

Gina: it's make like a tree and leaf, you idiot. It sounds so dumb when you say it wrong. 

MK: Have we seriously resorted to quoting Back To The Future?

Gina: It's one of the best eighties movies. Along with Beetlejuice. 

MK: Lydia was pretty hot in that music video you showed me. 

Gina: We're getting off track. 

MK: Yeah. Let's just go. 

End 

They finally found a coffin. 

"OK, let's go." Gina said, climbing inside and shutting the door. 

MK grabbed the coffin and started dragging it along until she got to the graveyard and dropped the coffin into a grave. 

Gina pushed the door open. 

"Nice job Grumpy Cat- get that rusty machete out of my face or I will grab it and slice your arms off." Gina said, switching from talking to MK and the grave digger. 

She plucked the tip off the blade. 

"Ride on horseback to the Romanian gymnastic center and locate the Don Box." she read. 

~*queue the Spirit Riding Free theme song*~ 

They got to the training center. Gina grabbed a tip. 

"It's a botch or watch. Huh. Gymnastics." she read. 

"Please let the coffin thing have counted as a botch." MK said. 

Explanationnnnnn 

"Gymnastics. Nastics that take place in a gym. Whoever didn't face the bullet ants in Brazil, must perform two gymnastic feats." 

Don walked across a balance beam 

"First, walk across a balance beam and land a split jump in the center." 

He did just that. 

"High school team." 

A stray footy hit him in the balls. 

Don't worry, he's fine. 

"Second, preform a front flip over this vaulting horse!" he said. 

He did just that. 

The footy hit him in the balls again. 

Don't worry, he's fine. 

"Get a thumbs up from this local judge, Bela Karaoke." 

"I hate everything." Bela announced. 

A/n, you and me both pal. 

"-and it's a foot race down the road to the chill zone. The last one to arrive may be heading home." Don finished. "Do you have any ice?" he asked Bela. 

Explanation overrrrrr 

Confessional 

*Gymnastics area in the background.*  

Gina: *Sigh.* I feel like I haven't really done anything in this challenge. MK's been doing pretty much everything. 

*In the background MK trips over the vaulting horse.* 

MK in the background: DAMN IT! 

Gina: *Looks at her girlfriend then back at the camera. She plasters on a smile.* We'll be fine. 

End 

"Come on MK!" Gina cheered. 

MK finally managed to do it! Good job bestie! 

"Nice job. Now let's go." Gina said. 

They both started running towards the chill zone. 

By the power of editing, they're now there. 

"Sarcasm professionals, you're in fourth." Don said. 

Duel confessional 

Sarcasm professionals 

MK: Well, fourth isn't exactly an improvement. 

Gina: At least we didn't get kicked out. And i learned you're not as horrible at physical activity than you say. 

MK: *Shushes.* Don't tell anyone. 

End 





Author's note! 

Hiiiii. Not much to say about this chapter tbh. 

If anyone has any ideas for alliances/ how to form them, as always, let me know. 

Bye! 

word count: 1221 

-Chinchilla ✨

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