A/N
Yeah, another update. I'm on a roll.
As always, PLEASE consider purchasing PLG on Amazon! And make sure to check out all the links in my bio.
This chapter is a small breather. For now.
As always, please let me know what you all think, I LOVE reading your comments and reactions!
Hope you're all safe and well!
C. Bijou x
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~ wishful thinking ~
Brian
As the morning light gently filtered through the curtains, I stirred from my slumber in the Taunton hotel room. With a soft groan, I shifted onto my side, seeking comfort in the pillows that cradled my head. The distant sounds of passing vehicles and the occasional car horn intruded upon my half-awake state, momentarily pulling me from my drowsiness.
In this in-between realm of consciousness, memories of the previous night flooded my mind. The release party had been a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation for the unknown future of Queen. And amidst it all, I spotted Maria's presence from afar, seeing how it shone so brightly, illuminating the room like a beacon.
Yet, the boisterous revelry had kept us apart for most of the night, and the more I thought about the previous night, the more I wished that I had more time with her than just our fleeting agreement to speak with each other later that day. There were moments I caught glimpses of her across the dancefloor, her laughter infectious and her eyes sparkling with delight as her dark, long hair cascaded down the back of the leather jacket she donned so perfectly. But the crowd had swallowed her up taking her on a journey of her own.
As I closed my eyes once more, I couldn't help but wish for more time with her. I knew that the bond we shared was unique, and the unresolved tension between us had made me yearn for a moment alone, to finally have that much-needed conversation.
Noise from the hallway persisted, and I decided it was time to fully awaken from my alcohol-induced slumber. Slowly, I sat up, feeling a slight wave of dizziness wash over me. My feet found their way to the fluffy carpet below me, and I took a deep breath, attempting to steady myself.
The room seemed to sway slightly as I made my way to the window. Pulling back the heavy curtains, I welcomed the soft morning light that spilled into the room, casting a warm glow over everything. The city below was coming to life, with people bustling about. But my thoughts were still drawn to Maria and the conversation we had agreed to have today. The weight of it pressed upon my mind, and I knew it was a crucial opportunity to set the record straight regarding my feelings towards her, and finally tell her that Chrissie and I were no longer seeing each other. That's all I wanted. To make Maria feel worthy of being wanted. And if I was lucky, I'd get another chance with her. We could give it another go—but who knows? That may have just been wishful thinking.
I trudged wearily to the bathroom, my reflection in the mirror revealing a dishevelled appearance. My hair was even more unruly than usual. A dull ache throbbed up the side of my neck, a reminder of my habit of sleeping in awkward positions, a trait I had carried since childhood and exacerbated by my lanky frame.
Shaking off the grogginess, I tore my gaze away from the mirror and leaned forward to turn on the shower. The jets of water burst forth with vigour, splashing against the surface of the bathtub. While waiting for the water to warm up, I splashed my face with cold water, trying to revive my senses.
My shower brought my aching body back to life, massaging all the muscles that had strained, both from playing the show, and indulging in the afterparty. Once I had washed away the remnants of the night before, I wrapped a towel around my lower half, using another one to clumsily shake through my hair. I didn't mind my hair being damp after a shower, but I didn't like feeling it dripping everywhere.
Clearing my ear of water with my finger, I made my way back out into the bedroom, heading to my half-open suitcase that laid under the desk that was sat just under the window. With the day stretched ahead of me, I contemplated on what I was going to do to fill the time, my conversation with Maria not scheduled until three in the afternoon. Straight after that, we'd be heading over to Bournemouth to rehearse, and play yet another show the night after. I loved touring, but the thought of consecutive shows—one every night—could be daunting, especially in those early days when you weren't used to keeping your body that active for that long. It could be strenuous.
Since the seasons were changing, and the morning chill was forming a thin layer of condensation over the outer edges of the window, I decided to make sure I wrapped myself up. Once again, being this bony and knobbly, with barely any muscle and fat, caused me to get real cold, real quick. I had to make sure I didn't pick up anything nasty. I was always extra cautious regarding my well-being, thanks to the incident in '74. Who wouldn't be?
I clicked my tongue, pondering over what to wear, when I saw one of those leaflets that gave tourists a rundown of the surrounding hotspots of Taunton, laying on the desk. I must have missed it when we arrived the night before, but that was fair enough. I mean, I was worrying about the album being released.
Figuring there'd be nothing wrong with exploring the locality, I picked up the leaflet and perched myself on the end of the bed, clearing my throat as I let my eyes wander over the pictures of the quaint nearby spots that you could visit. It wasn't anything too rustic, nor was it too grand. It was adequate. Enough to enjoy if going on a walk, which I was contemplating.
According to the leaflet, there were multiple coffee shops, a park, and a few specialised shops nearby. I didn't need anything else. There was a park. Perfect. Forget the others, all I needed was a park and fresh air. I needed to gather my thoughts, anyways. Everybody knows I can ramble for days, just imagine what I'd be like in front of Maria—with the only chance I'd ever get to have her back in my life. I couldn't afford to fuck that up.
I decided on wearing a plain shirt, overlaying a jumper on top of it, with a pair of thick black flares that I seemed to always wear. Paired with the coat and scarf I had brought along with me, I was confident that my health would be fully protected from the impending icy weather.
Leaving the cosy confines of the hotel, I stepped out into the brisk November air of Taunton. The cold nipped at my cheeks, and I pulled my jacket tighter around me, feeling the familiar chill seep through my thin frame. Despite the chill, there was a certain charm to the crisp weather that always appealed to me.
I decided to take a leisurely walk through the park first, hoping the fresh air would in fact clear my mind before speaking with Maria. The park was adorned with the colours of the changing season, with golden leaves carpeting the ground and branches bearing the remnants of once vibrant foliage.
As I strolled along the winding path, the sound of my footsteps echoed through the tranquil surroundings. The trees stood tall and proud, their bare branches reaching towards the bright sky. The sun shined, but the warmth was void. A gentle breeze rustled through the remaining leaves, creating a soft symphony of sounds.
The park was sparsely populated at this time of day, with only a few individuals wrapped up in warm coats, walking their dogs or enjoying a quiet moment of solitude. The crisp scent of fallen leaves mingled with the earthy fragrance of damp soil, creating a comforting aroma that filled the air.
Occasionally, I spotted a squirrel scurrying about, gathering nuts and acorns, oblivious to the world around it. Their playful antics brought a smile to my face, reminding me of the simple joys in life.
As I continued my walk, I found a secluded bench overlooking a small pond. The water reflected the sky above, and a sense of tranquillity washed over me. Sitting down, I took a moment to pause and appreciate the natural beauty surrounding me.
I watched the tiny fish shoot around under the pond water, a small smile appearing on my face. I found myself happy that we were put up in a hotel that was on the outskirts of Taunton's busiest areas. This was the perfect way to get over a mild hangover. Wanting to savour the moment forever, I reached into my satchel bag, bringing out the camera I took with me everywhere, in hopes to find something that I would rarely come across normally. I rarely experienced this level of tranquillity.
I put the strap around my neck and lifted the camera up to my face, making sure to catch the full landscape of what I was sat before. The majestic beauty of a quiet midday in Taunton. With a click, I snapped the moment, waiting patiently for the polaroid to develop. Once it had, a satisfied smile appeared on my face, tucking the photo away in my bag safely.
I spent the next half hour seeking out nature's magic, taking photos of almost everything, from squirrels, to birds, even the delicate layers of melting frost sat along the branches on the trees from the night's chill.
As I left the park, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, enticing me towards one of the nearby coffee shops I had seen in the leaflet. The inviting warmth emanating from the cosy café was a stark contrast to the chilly November air outside. The soft jingle of the bell above the door greeted me as I stepped inside.
The pleasant aroma of coffee beans surrounded me, and I approached the counter, greeted by a friendly barista with a warm smile. "The guitarist from Queen, right?" she said, her eyes bright with recognition. "Brian, yeah?" I nodded with a bashful smile. "I'm a big fan of your music. What can I get you today?"
"Thank you," I replied with a modest smile, pleased by the warm welcome. "I'll have a cappuccino and, uh... a cheese toastie, please."
As I waited for my order, I found a cosy corner table by the window and settled in, immediately bringing out my notebook and pen. The coffee shop buzzed with the low hum of conversation and the soft clinking of cups, creating a comforting backdrop to my writing process.
I gave the barista a warm smile, going over to her when I saw she was about to bring my order to me. She insisted that she brought it to me, but I insisted otherwise. You all know me.
Sipping on my cappuccino, I savoured the rich flavour of the coffee as it warmed me from the inside out. The cheese toastie was a perfect accompaniment, the melted cheese and toasted bread offering a comforting contrast to the bitter coffee.
Lost in thought, I read over the messily structured lyrics I had jotted down whilst back in Hampton a couple of weeks before. Without really thinking about it, I started jotting down more ideas and phrases to accompany the ones I already had. The melody had been swirling in my head for days, and now, in the peace of the coffee shop, I felt inspired to bring the lyrics to life.
I knew the song I was writing was a love song. And I knew thoughts of Maria—beautiful, sweet, unforgettable Maria—had triggered the sentiments I already had. However, the feelings of nostalgia that thinking of her brought me triggered memories of Japan and the love we received from our fans there. All these emotions simultaneously floated through my mind, fuelling the creative process. My love for our fans, and my love for...
Don't say it, Brian.
As the words flowed onto the paper, the song began to take shape as I rearranged phrases and verses. I hummed quietly to myself, trying to curate a hook that I knew people would remember and have linger in the back of their minds long after they'd listened to the song. Before I knew it, a chorus started to form, capturing the essence of connection and unity that music could bring.
Finishing my lunch and putting the final touches on the lyrics, I felt a sense of satisfaction as I read through the completed song. The songwriting process was always a deeply personal and rewarding experience, and I knew that this song would hold a special place in my heart.
I chewed on my bottom lip, sitting back and sipping some more on my cappuccino, I got lost in wondering what Maria would think of these lyrics. Would she realise that they were written with her in mind? Would she care? Would she like them? Would she even read them?
The more I thought about Maria reading these lyrics, the more the anticipation grew, and that's when I decided that she just had to read them. I had to show her that this was how she made me feel. It was so much better than I could ever express verbally. Besides, I didn't have to tell her it was about her, at least not at first. That'd just depend on her reaction to it.
Leaving the coffee shop, I continued my leisurely stroll through the streets of Taunton. The brisk air invigorated my senses as I took in the sights and sounds of the town. Soon, my gaze fell upon a charming jewellery shop, its display window adorned with an array of exquisite pieces that caught the sunlight just right.
The sight of a delicate choker-style necklace, adorned with small purple butterflies, drew me in like a magnet. Its intricate design and vibrant colours captivated me, and I couldn't help but feel that it would be the perfect gift for someone like Maria. She loved stuff like that. That I knew for sure. She still wore similar things, even now. My heart hesitated for a moment, knowing that it would be irrational to get something like that for her, but I still wanted to look at it. Just to see.
Stepping inside the shop, a small bell chimed above the door, announcing my arrival. A friendly shop assistant greeted me with a warm smile. "Good afternoon, Sir. How can I assist you today?"
"Hello, um, I'm interested in that necklace with the butterflies in the display window," I said, pointing to the necklace that had caught my eye.
The shop assistant nodded and retrieved the necklace from the display. She handed it to me, and I delicately examined the craftsmanship. The butterflies seemed to dance gracefully on the delicate chain, and I couldn't help but be reminded of Maria's carefree spirit and the bliss I felt for those fleeting days in Rockfield. It was like a taste of what could be.
The shop assistant's friendly curiosity couldn't be contained, and she asked, "Is this a gift for someone special?"
I hesitated for a moment, my thoughts drifting to my entire history with Maria, but my lips moved before my brain could fully process what escaped them. "Yes, it is," I replied softly, a small smile forming on my lips.
The shop assistant seemed to sense the tenderness in my voice and gave me an understanding nod. "It's a beautiful piece. I'm sure she will love it."
I nodded in agreement, feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement. "Yes, she will."
With a surge of determination, I made up my mind and decided to buy the necklace. As the shop assistant carefully wrapped it in a delicate box, I couldn't help but feel a sense of hope and anticipation. Even though Maria and I weren't together, and I wasn't sure what our future held, I still wanted to let her know that she was cherished and loved.
Leaving the jewellery shop with the previous gift in hand, I felt a mixture of emotions swirling inside me. It was a step towards being able to form a coherent sentence when talking with her later on. Hopefully, giving her those lyrics and this gift would prove to her that I was serious about wanting her to be in my life again. I wanted her to know that I needed her, just... there.
As I continued my walk through Taunton, the necklace safely tucked away in my bag, I felt a sense of contentment settling within me. Regardless of the outcome, I knew that expressing my feelings was the right thing to do. And if it brought even a glimmer of happiness to Maria's heart, then it would be worth it.
I walked back to the hotel, pleased with my small venture into Taunton. As I entered the lobby, I was greeted by the sight of Roger, Freddie, Deacy, Paul, and Reid huddled together, their faces beaming with excitement. They seemed to be animatedly discussing something, and I couldn't help but wonder what had sparked their enthusiasm.
Roger was the first to spot me and called out, "Finally, there you are. Where you been, mate?"
"Just took a walk, needed some fresh air," I replied with a nonchalant smile, not revealing the result of my outing just yet.
Freddie, as per usual, couldn't resist chiming in. "Fresh air? In this weather? You're a daredevil, dear."
I chuckled at Freddie's comment, knowing that he was probably right. "It wasn't too bad, actually. Besides, it gave me some time to clear my head," I added, hoping my vague response would steer the conversation away from not being there before.
Deacy nudged me playfully. "Well, you missed out on all the fun. We were discussing our plans for the next few days, and it's going to be bigger than anything we've done before."
"Is that so?" I said, trying to sound casual despite my curiosity getting the best of me. "Care to fill me in?"
Paul, always eager to be the centre of attention, jumped in. "We've got some great interviews lines up and a few promotional events for the new album. It's going to be a bit of a whirlwind, but it should help you all out a lot."
Reid nodded with a wide grin. "Absolutely! This album is going to take us to knew heights, mark my words."
As I listened to their excitement, I felt a mixture of pride and anticipation building up inside me. A Night at the Opera had been a labour of love for all of us, and seeing it receive such positive reception and attention was truly rewarding.
Just then, Reid, unable to contain his excitement any longer, burst with joy. "Okay, I can't hold it in for much longer. I was going to wait until the next show, to give you a boost of motivation... But I made a few calls this morning, and I found out from Jac Holzman... Bohemian Rhapsody hit the number one spot in the UK charts this morning!"
My heart skipped a beat at the news, and a surge of euphoria washed over me. "Are you serious?" I exclaimed, unable to hide my delight. "That's bloody fantastic!"
The lobby erupted into cheers and applause, though it was just us in there. We had poured our hearts and souls into creating that song, and to see it reach such heights was beyond our wildest dreams.
Whilst the excitement of the song's success continued to fill the air, adrenaline coursing through our veins, the four of us—Roger, Freddie, Deacy, and myself—decided to recoup in our hotel rooms, and crammed into the hotel lift, giggling like giddy teenage boys who had just pulled off the ultimate prank. The news of Bo Rhap hitting number one on the UK charts was too overwhelming to contain, and we couldn't help but jump up and down with unrestrained excitement.
"Can you believe it? Number one!" Roger shouted, his drumming hands flailing in the air.
Freddie clutched his chest, feigning mock surprise, "Oh, I'm positively shocked! Who would've thought, eh?"
Deacy laughed, "Well, you did tell us this song was something special."
"And you were right!" I beamed, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder.
As we continued our exuberant dance in the lift, revelling in our moment of triumph, the lift decided to momentarily participate in our celebration by stopping abruptly. We all stumbled, grabbing onto the railings to steady ourselves.
"Oh, bloody lift! Just when we're on top of the world!" Roger exclaimed, before bursting into laughter.
"Well, it's not every day we hit number one, you know?" Freddie chimed in, trying to catch his breath.
Deacy raised an eyebrow, teasingly looking around, "Maybe the lift got overwhelmed with our excitement."
"Or it wants to join the fucking party," I added, playfully kicking the lift wall.
After a brief pause, the lift obediently started moving again, and we laughed even harder at the amusing interruption. With wide grins on our faces, we stepped out onto our floor, still buzzing with the thrill of our achievement.
"You lot are too much sometimes," Roger said, shaking his head in disbelief.
"That's why we're called Queen, darling!" Freddie proclaimed proudly.
As we parted ways to our separate rooms, the euphoria lingered, leaving us with a sense of camaraderie that only comes from shared triumphs. We were just four boys who dared to dream big and create music that touched people's hearts.
The anticipation of my upcoming conversation with Maria had my nerves tingling and my heart fluttering. I wanted to make sure I presented my best self, even though we weren't seeing each other. With that in mind, I decided to freshen up and make myself look presentable.
I started by heading to the bathroom, where I rummaged through my wash bag, searching for my razor and shaving cream. The bathroom mirror reflected a man who had spent the night celebrating, with dishevelled hair and tired eyes. I filled the basin with warm water and splashed it on my face, feeling the soothing sensation ease the redness from the cold outside.
As I applied the shaving cream, I took my time, carefully gliding the razor across my jawline. Each stroke was deliberate, ensuring a smooth and clean shave. I wanted to look my best when I finally got to speak to her. Maybe I was being foolish, but I couldn't help but hope that this conversation might lead to something more.
After shaving, I stepped into the shower again, taking my time, letting the water cascade over me, washing away the stress and uncertainty that had been lingering in my mind.
Once out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and returned to the bedroom. I opened my suitcase and browsed through my clothes, searching for something that would make me look more... attractive. I settled on a well-fitted button-down shirt in a deep shade of blue, rolled up the sleeves to just below my elbows, and paired it with dark trousers.
Feeling bold, the pride of my creativity still lingering, I tore out the page in my notebook that I had written down my new lyrics on in the coffee shop. It was a heartfelt expression of my feelings, a way to convey all the emotions I had struggled to put into words. I carefully placed it on the table, smoothing it out on the surface, ready to share it with Maria.
Next, I retrieved the small box containing the delicate choker-style necklace adorned with small purple butterflies. With a mixture of nerves and hope, I placed the box beside the lyrics, a visual representation of the sincerity behind my words.
Feeling satisfied with my preparations, I took a deep breath and glanced towards the clock on the bedside table. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it was five minutes to three. I was unsure of what the outcome of our conversation would be. But no matter what happened, I was determined to be honest and open with Maria. It was time to face our feelings and find some clarity in the midst of the chaos.
Amid my thoughts, the sound of a hard knock snapped me out of them, making me jolt a little. I took another deep breath and smoothed out my shirt, holding my head up so I didn't look so timid.
I cleared my throat, grabbing the door handle and pulling the door open. I expected to see Maria stood there, in all her beauty, but instead it was Roger, in all his... Roger.
I slumped a bit, huffing. "What do you want?"
"I need to talk to you." Roger furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes shifting to the side.
I scrunched up my own eyebrows. "Alright, make it quick. Maria's coming in a m—"
"No," he interrupted. "That's what I need to talk to you about."
"What?"
"About Maria."
"What about Maria?" I tilted my head a little bit, glancing down the hallway.
Roger swallowed hard, steadying himself as he ran his hand through his hair.
"We think she's overdosed."