Delia's Point of View
I thought I'd woken up extra early today, but Clovis was already gone by the time I woke up, again. Just how early does he get up? I wish we could at least have breakfast together...
I suppose this is because I can't do my part of the work...
I sigh, and then quickly shake my head. No, we can't go and be dejected already!
I clap my cheeks to fire myself up, to get ready for the day.
Usually I'd go to the library to study with Syrel, but today I have a plan! I'm going to make Clovis lunch, and bring it to him. That way we can spend just a little time together. I smile happily at the idea of a little garden picnic with him.
I go down to the kitchen, a bit worried the kitchen staff would chase me out of there, but partly unexpected they smile at me warmly instead, like they've been waiting for me.
"Miss Delia? Is there anything we can do for you?"
I must have gotten used to Syrel calling me Lady, because the miss sounds a little wrong. I am Clovis' fiancé now after all... Aren't I supposed to be called Lady?
I shake it off.
They're smiling. It's not that they disapprove of me.
"I would like to make lunch for Clovis, would it be okay I borrow the kitchen?"
I ask, as usually nobles aren't really allowed down here.
The head chef smiles as she wipes her hands clean in her apron.
"Of course, if you need anything just call, and we will find it for you, come, I'll help you find an apron and show you around."
I feel the worry flutter away, and my heart fill with happiness. I'm sure Clovis told them I like to go to the kitchen and made them aware.
I blush a bit, thinking about how I fed him my last homemade lunch with the same fork I had eaten from.
I'm sure he will be happy.
Later
I end up spending the morning making the lunch for Clovis, and... I probably overdid it a little as well. It's been so long since we ate together, that I got a little too excited.
A smile a little to myself as I pack everything into a picnic basket, and bring a blanket too. It's great weather, and all the flowers in the garden are blooming.
I get everything ready, and then head out, with the kitchen people waving to me.
As far as I recall, Clovis had said that the offices were in the other end of the summer palace, so it'll take a little while to get there. I may have gone a little too early though, but it'll probably be fine if I just wait.
...it ends up taking twenty minutes.
Why are the offices so far away?!
I dressed myself up too, in high heels and all. I think I can feel a few blisters coming.
I wince. I might have been a little foolish.
I approach the offices from the garden side, looking at the time on the clock tower, and it rings for lunch. I barely made it.
With a bit of excitement filling my chest with butterflies, I hide behind a tree. If I surprise him, what kind of face will he make?
The doors open.
My heart speeds up.
"You're never gonna make it back in time, Clovis," a female voice half laughs...
"I know, but Delia has been worried for me," Clovis responds, and my heart tightens.
"By the time you're done eating you'll only have like ten minutes left."
Is she- convincing him not to go see me?
I peek out from the tree, and see Clovis, looking tired... and a woman, clad in a military uniform, standing close to him...
Her thick flowing locks of deep red hair bounce against her shoulders, and her warm tanned skin almost makes her look exotic. Her voice sounds deep and beautiful, like Beatrix's.
I cover my ears, but I can't stop watching them.
Why is he with a woman?
She grins at him playfully, and he laughs. He laughs heartly at whatever she said.
Clovis never acts like that with me. He always only smiles so sweetly, or calls me cute... or hides what little he does laugh... but when I see him laugh with her like this, how can I help but to think whether he truly laughs with me? and enjoys my company?
She brings out a couple of sandwiches for them to share, and my heart hammers against my chest painfully.
...Is this what you've been doing Clovis? The reason you've left me alone so late at night.
I look down at the basket I had prepared for us.
I'm spending all my energy for you. Studying so hard to become worthy of you... and you're spending time with another girl.
No... no! I must be overthinking it.
The two of them lean over the half wall they were standing by with their hands on the wall, almost leaning their shoulders together... looking down as if to hide their words.
I feel tears spill over.
Ah, I see. I get it. I'm just a decoration now?
This woman is taking my place beside him.
I can't even help him with work.
I-
I'm useless to him. No wonder he'd chose someone more like her. Sexy and mature, and she even has a sword too, so she's probably trained in swordplay.
I hiccup, and then drop the picnic basket on the ground.
I shouldn't have come here.
I wish I hadn't come here!
I wish I'd never fallen for someone like a prince!
I run as hard as I can, stumbling over and over, until I finally kick off those stupid high heeled shoes that don't suit me.
The rain starts pouring down, like the tears from my cheeks, soaking the all too elegant dress that doesn't suit me either.
By the time I can't run anymore, I've ended up in the library, and the water drips from my soaked dress onto the beautiful wooden floors.
Why did I end up here?
"Lady Delia?"
I look up at Syrel with tear filled eyes, having a hiccup from all the tears streaming down my face.
"Syrel," I gasp out between the tears.
"Your feet are bleeding," he says with a horrified expression, and in a single movement sweeps me into his arms, causing me to cry harder, as everything I've bottled up slips out again.
"I'm not suited to be a princess," I cry in his arms, as he walks with me.
"That's not true, Lady Delia."
I sob.
"No one treats me like I'm Clovis' fiancé, they don't tell me anything, and he never talks with me anymore."
"Delia," he says out pained, and then finds a chair to sit me down on gently, making me look him in his midnight blue eyes.
He caresses my cheek, and brushes away the tears.
"I am certain his highness Clovis loves you very dearly-"
I cut him off, the frustration bursting out of my chest.
"He doesn't! He! He!" I hiccup again. I can't get it over my lips. That he was with another woman.
Syrel looks at me worried, with pain in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," I choke out. I didn't mean to take my frustration out on him.
I use my hands to wipe away the tears so desperately, but they just keep coming.
"Then, be with me instead, Delia. I'll never let you feel so lonely."
Eh?
My tears stop in surprise at his words, and my heart flips with confusion.
With Syrel?
I'd never though of Syrel like that, but- Syrel has always been there when I was lonely... he's always praised me for my skills, helped me understand this world better and he's not a prince buried in duties-
I blink, as Syrel presses his soft lips against mine. They're smaller than Clovis', but softer, and more insisting.
Would I be better as a librarians wife? I can't help but to think that for a moment.
The sound of something dropping echoes through the library.
Syrel pulls back, and there at the door, stands Clovis... and on the floor are my high heels.
Ah... no...
"Your highness, forgive me! I have been impertinent!"
Syrel kneels down, lowering his head to the ground, making my head spin.
But Clovis ignores him and just looks directly at me.
"Why?" Why? No, wait-
"I, no, it's not like that-"
What is going on?
"Your highness, Lady Delia did nothing, I was the one who overstepped my boundaries," Syrel defends me with all his might.
"Delia, what happened?" Clovis looks angry. I've never seen him so angry. He's soaked to the bone, looking tense, like when he's arguing with Beatrix...
"I... I was just unsure and Syrel he-"
"Not with him..."
I look down, as tears continue flowing.
"I'm sorry," I sob out.
"Why did you run?" His voice is hard and cold. I don't deserve this. Why are you treating me like this when you're the one sleeping around?
"I've been trying so hard. I've been preparing all day, trying to be a good princess, but you like that woman more than me," I sniffle out.
"What woman? Beatrix?" Why is his voice so harsh? Why doesn't he pat my head?
"No, the red haired woman that was next to you."
Through my tears I see Clovis run a hand through his hair, and sigh so deeply, like his expectations for me left his body with it.
"I can't believe this actually happened. We were looking over business papers for the next meeting."
Eh? No, wait, that can't be true.
"Syrel. Make sure her feet are tended to and she gets some dry clothes to wear. I- have a meeting I need to get back to."
I hiccup.
"Clovis?"
Clovis turns away, and without a word just walks out of the library. Why?
"Clovis?!"
I immediately stand up, but flinch from the pain in my feet and almost stumble over, only to be caught by Syrel.
"Clovis!"
"You cannot, Lady Delia. You're too hurt."
I shake my head.
"Red haired lady... that's probably Lady Louise Winterbell. She's is Clovis' cousin, and the current duchess Winterbell. She got married last year. I heard she was helping out in Beatrix's place so they could be done faster."
I stare up at Syrel in horror. His cousin?
But they were standing so close! Laughing and smiling!... like family...
Ah....
Oh no...
I need to fix this...
"Lady Delia, you can't stand up yet, let me tend to your feet first," he pleads me. But if I don't go now, I feel like something bad is gonna happen.
"They wouldn't let you in with your feet bleeding like this."
I bite my lip, and let Syrel sit me back down, as tears keep rolling down.
What have I done?
Why am I so stupid?
I bury my face in my hands.
By the time Syrel finishes, and finds me some flat shoes, I hurriedly try to find Clovis, but the guards block me from going near the offices, requesting me to go back and wait until the meetings are over... The meetings that last until the middle of the night.
Please... don't throw me away... Clovis...
Clovis' Point of View
My head is spinning. After the thing that happened with Delia, I haven't been able to focus. My eyes are burning after crying like a fool.
I could barely make it through the meetings without turning into a mess, and making a fool of myself... no... I've already done that.
I sigh as I put my head against the rain soaked front door, my hand on the door knocker.
Ah... what am I doing here?
I really am an idiot.
The servants will see me. The guards will question me.
I-
Should go... what was I thinking of, coming here?
The door opens, and instead of a servant I see Beatrix herself through my tear blurred vision with a small glowing lantern.
I want to scold her for opening the door on her own. That a lady like her should know of the dangers, but all that comes out is uncontrollable sobs.
"Clovis?"
I shake my head.
What in the world am I doing? Going to Beatrix to have my face laughed at for being an idiot. For everything turning out the way she said. The way she warned me, and that I got so angry at her for saying.
Before I can turn away in further shame, I feel her slender hand slide into my hair as she steps out of the door, and pulls me down to her shoulder.
My heart tightens with pain.
Why?
"Come on in, you'll get sick like this," she says softly, in a tone she doesn't use.
Why?
Aren't you supposed to mock me? To tell me what a fool I am? That I get what I deserve?
But she doesn't. She just awkwardly guides me through the door, with my head still on her shoulder, and she pushes the door closed behind us.
She puts down the lantern, and caresses my back, patiently, calmly... showing a kindness I'd long thought her uncapable of. And it only makes me cry harder, as it proves I've been a fool with Beatrix as well.
It takes a while, before the tears stop rolling, and my head feels empty and numb.
"Come on, you're soaking wet. Let's find you some dry clothes."
She lets me go, and then takes my hand instead. I feel like an obedient puppy as I let her guide me through the quiet mansion.
"Why did you let me in?"
My voice cracks.
But Beatrix just looks back at me with a serious, and worried expression.
"I'm not going to abandon someone that looks like they're about to kill themself."
...
Ah...
Do I look like that to you?
I don't ask anymore, and just let her guide me the rest of the way to one of the rooms. The blankets have been used to make a small blanket fort on the bed, and I can see a few books in there. It's lived in, and clearly Beatrix's room. Completely inappropriate for an adult lady.
She lets my hand go, and goes to the drawer, where she messes around for a bit.
I look over Beatrix as she searches, and finally realize that she's only in a chemise. A now wet chemise because of me.
I look away.
"I think this one should fit. I don't have any mens clothes, so you'll have to deal with what you're given."
I cautiously look back, and find her holding up another chemise, and a set of long frilly women's bloomers...
"Is this an attempt at humiliating me?"
She blinks, and then gives a huff.
"Don't worry, I'm saving that till you perk up a bit. There's no servants here. You can either wear this, or sleep in your wet clothes."
I sigh. I don't really have the energy to argue with her.
"Okay."
She gives a nod, and then hands me the clothes before putting the lantern between us, and turning around, so I can undress behind her.
Soon I've changed, and I feel ridiculous. What am I doing in a lace dress in Beatrix's mansion?
Should I just head back?
...
But... I don't want to go back...
"Are you done?" she asks softly.
I turn around, looking at her back, here the wet imprint of my arms around her clings to her skin. I didn't realize I hugged her back...
"Yes... you should change too... Beatrix..."
She glances over her shoulder at me.
"I know. Meanwhile, go to bed. You're still exhausted from work, so your mind doesn't work right."
I nod, not denying that, and head towards the bed, crawling into the blanket fort construction. It feels oddly safe, and cozy.
Before the sleep claims my body, I manage to carefully ask the one question that I have been desperately wanting to ask her since noon: "How did you know?"
Her face looks guilt ridden in the lantern light.
"Because she always wants someone to save her."
...
I see.
...