Abba looked at Nuriyya and smiled at himself. It had been a month already, and even though Nuriyya spent almost all her time together with him, in his house; he felt he still hadn't gotten enough of her. They were seated in the balcony, and just like they had made Aisha, she had become their maid and a piece of garbage their threw their dirty clothes on. She was walking in the kitchen, barefooted with hands holding colander while the other holding a plate. She was in a rush to cook them breakfast so she can finally rest.
Throughout this month, she hadn't rest. And she had been seeing the worst part of Abba there is. She got used to seeing Nuriyya in the house that she no more felt surprised or in pain when she saw them together. She even got tired of crying at all the things Abba did for her. He hadn't taken her to school up till now, because Nuriyya made sure she made a scene that would cause even a greater hole between them every morning.
Aisha finished setting the table and walked to the balcony with tentative steps as she watched them cuddled together as though Nuriyya was the real wife. She gulped down a lump in her throat, she didn't mind whatever it is Abba might do to her as long as he didn't touch her. She had grown disgusted and despair for him ever since the first day she saw him kissing Nuriyya, and she wouldn't mind if Nuriyya was to bore him, kids.
"I'm done with the dinner, Ya Abba." She uttered and before she was able to decamp from the balcony, a call came through his phone and he picked it up at the instant. He sat upright and held Nuriyya with one hand, "Good evening, Mama." He greeted, and that's what stopped Aisha in her tracks.
"I no more need your greetings, Abba. I called at night because I know you're home. Give Aisha the phone now, I need to speak to her!" Mama thundered, and Abba glared at Aisha. She shuddered and tried walking away when he called her name with a soft voice Aisha knew was surely not his. This kind of voice belonged to Nasir, but when Abba used it, he was surely referring to Nuriyya but never her.
She walked back into the balcony and collected the phone he handed her. Aisha rushed back into the living room and looked around to see whether they might hear her. She saw as Abba tried walking towards her but Nuriyya held him back, and Aisha decided she entered her room and locked it up. "Mama," she called out and broke into tears.
Mama's voice softened at how she heard Aisha's voice, "What happened, Aisha? He did something wrong? He's treating you right, right?" She asked, and Aisha shook her head as if Mama could see her.
"I haven't gone to school ever since we came here, Mama. He has even stopped talking about it." She cried even more, she wished Mama can see through her tears and console her the ways she deserved, but that was never going to happen unless she spoke it ut. And she wasn't reading to bring a word out of her mouth.
Mama stood up, the way Aisha was crying she was sure something was up. She looked at Baba and told him what Aisha had said, and he collected the phone. "Aisha, how are you?" Aisha heard Baba's voice and she broke even more.
He tried to console her but it wasn't working. "Look, Aisha, take him the phone and I'll talk to him. By Monday he'll take you to school and even but your phone, so you could always contact us right?"
She freaked out, she didn't want him to do anything to her, but she was sure if Baba spoke to him it would anger him and that wouldn't be any good on her. "Baba, you shouldn't talk to him, I'll tell him what you said." Baba knew Abba better than anyone, from the way he heard her voice he knew she wasn't living well with Abba. And she was even afraid to let them talk to him?
"Give him the phone, Aisha." His voice was straight and strict that Aisha dared not do what he said. She unlocked her room and met them at the balcony, staring at the stars as they spoke lovely to each other.
Abba turned and flashed her a disgusted look. "Baba wants to talk to you," She said, cutting him off from whatever it is he was trying to say.
He collected the phone with tentative hands and watched as he clutched his hands, she didn't know what Baba was telling him, but he looked fairly angry. She felt fear rising to her throat. He finished the call and threw the glass cup she brought them cocktails in, it wasn't aimed at her forehead, but that was where it landed before it crashed on the floor.
She fell and held on her bleeding forehead, he might it clear to her through the month she had spent with him and his girlfriend that she dared not cry in front of him, and she was pulling up the act so well. And even now, she didn't cry as much as it hurt her. She knew not to because her so-called husband prohibited her from crying she was behind the closed doors of his room.
"What did you tell them?!" He roared and stood before her, she shivered in fear and ducked her head. A stubborn, painful and warm tear rolled down her cheeks but she wiped at it with so much aplomb. You shouldn't cry, Aisha. You're not supposed to cry. She warned herself and fought her tears.
"What happened, Abba na?" Nuriyya asked, standing up as well. They stood in front of Aisha while she knelt before them like the slave she was. If she was to wrote a book about her married life, Aisha would name that book 'A slave in the name of a wife'. But what she endured was more than what a slave should.
"Get out and answer me." There was a certain coldness to his voice that sent a shiver down her spine as she stood up, not making the mistake of making eye contact with him.
"look up and answer, before we make a more mess, Aisha. What did you tell them?" He asked again, but she slowly shook her head.
"I didn't tell them anything apart from school. Please believe me Ya Abba." The blood rushing down from her forehead was slowly making her dizzy, but she can't even hold the wall for support.
"I knew it! Make sure you're reading for what you've embroiled yourself in." He turned to look at Nuriyya and the softness was back, the love and tender. "Nuriyya, get ready we're going out."
He looked at the traces of blood then to her face and the shards of the glass before Nuriyya entwined their hands and they left the balcony. Aisha knew what that meant, she was expected to clear off the place before they got out of their room. She fought her tears and rushed to get the broom and the mopper, her forehead still bleeding. She was done clearing the place when she watched them walked out of the house and she heard the booming sound of his car's engine.
She trudged to her room and took her first aid box with her. Since the first day she brought it out of her things, it had never gone back. She made use of it more than she had ever used anything in her room. Apart from her journal and her book. They made the balcony a sacred place and she wasn't allowed into it unless they wanted something and she was there to give it to them. But today, she was going to break that rule.
She wanted to feel the hands of the wind caress her soul, the moon looking at her with a beautiful and soothing smile and the stars would dance to cheer her up as she wrote poetry to cry he grief out. She treated her wound, took a painkiller before she set her journal on her laps. She pulled down the biro, but today, she didn't look at the inscription on it. She was dying in pain that she didn't even felt herself breathing. She stared at the blank page and felt nothing. It was as if she had gone numb and was devoid of any feeling or emotion in her heart.
Her eyes itched to cry, but there were no tears. Softly, she caressed her forehead that was now treated by her and smiled. A painful, joyless smile. She looked at the moon as though waiting for it to give her the will to write before she heaved a breath out of her lips and began writing.
If only I could write
About these monsters sucking up
My blood and juicing out the nectar of my heart
Urging me to cry out the pain
But I won't, what's there more to write than grief?
If only I could write
About these hands plucking the
Stars out of my eyes and flowering
The wilted roses in the garden of my orbs
So it will get filled and make a fountain
But I won't, what's there to write but memories?
Only if I could write
About these feelings whispering to
My ears, softly yet a thunder to my soul
Urging me to scream out your love words
Through the whimpering pillow of my lips
But I won't, If there's nothing more to write but lost love
Only if I could write
About how I crave for the sweetness
Of your lips on mine and the softness
Of your hands on my body, but this;
The beautiful pain of being broken, please my soul
Aisha U. Faruk.
As she finished writing, she realized she wrote this for no one but Nasir and that successfully brought more tears to her eyes. He was on her mind even after her endless attempts of forgetting about him. This wasn't fair. She knew he was there finally walking out of the time they spent, it wasn't long, especially now that she thought he was finally back to Madina. Maybe he would get tired of hiding her to the world and she would be out. Revealed and uncovered by the that loved her. But she was here living a life that she would never have imagined.
As she cried painfully, Aisha laid on the ottoman and sleep took over her soul. She was too tired, emotionally drained out and physically abused. Even as she slept she cried in her dreams. She had never known nemesis existed until she met Abba. Foolishly she thought Jaafar was her nemesis, but she was wrong, her nemesis was in the body of Muhammad Muhammad Tijjani.
❃
They drove in town until Aba cooled off and Nuriyya took her free hand in hers. "What's wrong, Abba na? What did he say?" She asked, referring to Baba.
Abba heaved a sigh and briskly looked at her before he turned his attention back to the road. "He said I should buy her a phone and also make sure she goes to school on Monday." His face was still glum, he didn't like how Baba spoke to him. It was laced with sheer accusation. As if he knew all the bad things he had been doing to Aisha or that he now lived together with Nuriyya in the same house he had kept Aisha.
"Then we should buy her one, and make sure she goes to school on Monday. The only thing that he can't change is the fact that you don't love her, right?" They went to the shop were they sold phones and Abba bought her a phone with an active sim card.
After they walked out of the shop, Nuriyya looked at him and smiled. "Should I take you somewhere else to cool you seem? You seem to be in a bad mood all of a sudden." Abba looked at her and smiled.
"Let's go to A & H hotels, it has the ambience of a home." She nodded his head with a smile and they drove to the hotel.
They sat down in the restaurant and waited as they ordered for dinner. Nuriyya looked around the restaurant and a lady was walking into the lobby. There was a guy following behind her with, and as she turned, she smiled at the guy and disappeared. "Abba!" Nuriyya shrieked, not minding the attention she got on herself. She seemed freaked out.
"What happened, Nuriyya?" He asked, following her gaze. But all he saw was the retreating back of a young lady barely in her twenties.
She couldn't speak but pointed towards the door the lady disappeared, her hand shaking and her heart pounding against her chest. "That...that's Aisha, Abba na!" She let the words out in a whisper, this had been the most shocking sight she beheld today.
"No, that's not Aisha. Maybe you're mistaken, but we left Aisha at home with a wound on her forehead." He chuckled and turned her face to look at him.
She tried shaking her head when Abba smiled dismissively at her. "Maybe you're just hungry, Nuriyya, that girl can never be Aisha. Let's eat, our food is here." She did as he said, but the face she saw wasn't ready to depart from her mind. But as he said, they left Aisha with a wound on her face, but this one seemed fine. She seemed sophisticated and slightly dangerous from the way she smiled. Even though she smiled exactly like, her smile enigmatic, unlike Aisha that smiled with so much innocence dripping from her lips.
They ate their dinner and drove back home. The moment Nuriyya stepped into the house, she let out a shrill, "Abba na, she's sleeping on my ottoman!" She didn't wait for him to act upon it, she rushed to the balcony and in what felt like a nanosecond, she slapped Aisha hard across her right cheek.
"How dare you set your dirty feet into this balcony and even dared to sleep on my ottoman?!" She thundered. Due to shock, anger and pain, Aisha slapped her right back.
She stared into her face and hissed, "How dare you slap me? Have you gone out of your mind?" She thundered back and fumed in anger.
Before any of them spoke, Abba slapped Aisha on both cheeks and pushed her down until she fell on the table between the chairs, she let out a yelp and slipped on the floor. "How dare you slap her back?" He thundered and Aisha closed her eyes to relish on the pain surging through her heart and also the one massaging her back. She felt as thunder struck on her forehead before an ocean of tears rushed down her cheeks. Today was the first day Abba laid his fingers on her, it was always violence from afar. Throwing object and verbal abuse. But today, she opened a new chapter of her painful world.