"i've been the archer, i've been the prey
who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay i see right through me, i see right through me"
——taylor swift
no words could truly capture the way i'm feeling right now. i'm confused, self conscious, anxious, and emotionally exhausted all at the same time.
i woke up at around 7:30 in the morning and no one was awake. not suprising.
i headed down the stairs anyway and walked all the way down to the basement where i knew the hughes had a piano.
i learned how to play the piano first with the song last kiss, by taylor swift. it was an absolutely beautiful piece and of course i had to teach myself how to play it.
i spent countless hours and days and weeks at the piano and when i finally understood the jist of it the piano became a second language to me.
then i learned the guitar. music was always my escape, something i took very seriously.
i rested my hands against the keys and immediately started playing a song i could relate to; the archer.
i've always dreamt of going somewhere with music in my life but the idea was always shut down by the people in my life, saying it's a silly dream and it wouldn't ever go anywhere.
my grandpa was the only one who truly believed in me, so when he died it was like a part of me was gone. all the hopes and dreams i had faded away with his life.
when taylor swift released her song marjorie in the evermore album, i cried for days. it resurfaced all the memories i had with my grandpa, but in a way it made me more at peace. it helped me come to terms that i wasn't alone, this was just a bump in the road and no matter what, he'll always be there for me whether i know it or not.
I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost
The room is on fire, invisible smoke
And all of my heroes die all alone
Help me hold onto you
I've been the archer
I've been the prey
Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?
But who could stay?
(I see right through me, I see right through me)
Cause they see right through me
They see right through me
They see right through
Can you see right through me?
They see right through
They see right through me
I see right through me
I see right through me
All the king's horses, all the king's men
Couldn't put me together again
'Cause all of my enemies started out friends
Help me hold onto you
I've been the archer
I've been the prey
Who could ever leave me, darling?
But who could stay?
as i played the last note i took my hands off the keys and jumped once a hand touched my shoulder.
"holy shit, jack you scared the crap out of me."
"sorry, i didn't mean to. that was beautiful, though."
"thanks... taylor is a lyrical genius."
"and you have the voice of an angel."
"i do not."
"do too, and don't make me argue with you." he shook his finger at me.
i laughed and shook my head, looking down at the piano.
"how'd you learn how to play?"
"i taught myself. it isn't super hard once you get into the rhythm of it. although it might just be that i'm musically gifted." i said sarcastically.
"in all seriousness, how are you feeling?"
"i don't know."
"what do you mean?"
"i woke up feeling like everything was just crashing down, right now i feel totally fine. so i don't know. i don't know what i'm feeling."
"and that's ok. you don't have to know what you're feeling all the time. you went through something no one should have to go through and there is no real way to cope with something like this. just know that everyone in this house is willing to help you through it, ok?"
"okay." i got up and wrapped my arms around his torso.
he held my head in one hand and the other held my waist, keeping me close in the embrace.
"did i ever tell you that you smell good?" i mumbled.
"no." he chuckled. "i do?"
"yeah. you smell like vanilla and cinnamon."
"is that a good thing?"
"it's a very good thing. i expected you to wear some expensive cologne that smelled really bad but i'm glad you don't."
"well, you smell good too. and you look even better in my hoodie."
i laughed and looked down, realizing i am still in his hoodie. he's so much taller than me so it almost reaches my knees and the sleeves are way longer than my arm length.
"i think it looks more like i'm a kid putting on my dads clothes."
"well i'm glad that they're mine. come on i think everyone's getting up and they're gonna wonder where you are."
i laughed as he picked me up bridal style and walked up the stairs with me in his arms. once we reached the top he sat me down and grabbed my hand, pulling me to the kitchen.
"hey, kiddos."
"hey, mom."
"hey, ellen."
"what were you two doing downstairs?"
"delilah was playing the piano."
"oh, that's great. we've had that piano for so long and no one's ever used it."
"well i'm glad that i can." i giggled.
"you want anything, deli?" jack asked going in his fridge.
"no, i'm ok, thanks."
"you sure?" he asked eyeing me with a concerned look etched on his face.
"yeah... yeah i'm sure."
he hesitantly nodded and took out the fruit bowl ellen cut yesterday as an afternoon snack. as the others slowly but surely woke up he placed the bowl on the table and the boys all grabbed forks and ate from it.
(i know, using a fork w fruit is weird but they're all eating from the same bowl so you figure you don't want their hands all in it)
i sat down next to jack with my head resting in my arms on the table.
"you ok, dells?" nico asked.
"yeah, i'm ok." i gave him a soft smile.
i sat up in my chair and took my phone out, scrolling through comments on my insta post.
jack reached in the bowl and got a strawberry on his fork and then put it in my face. i looked at him confused.
"eat it, deli."
i raised my eyebrow at him and bit the strawberry from his fork, him giving me a smile and me playfully rolling my eyes back at him.
he took one of my hands from under the table and locked his pinky with mine.
"are you left handed?" ty asked me while watching me hold my phone with one hand.
"yeah, why?"
"no i'm just curious. isn't being left handed super rare?"
"eh, i guess. my mom thought so too until three out of her four children were left handed."
"really?"
"yeah. connors the oddball out of all of us. isn't left hand, isn't allergic to penicillin, doesn't need glasses, is brunette, has green eyes, the list goes on."
"so you're whole family is blonde haired, blue eyed?"
"immediate family yeah, my dad isn't though."
"what does your dad do?"
"he was apart of the navy. he might still be and i just don't know but i haven't talked to him since i was little."
"oh, im sorry."
"don't be. i never really liked him anyway."
"connor is your twin brother, right?"
"mhm."
"what's your sisters name?"
"aurora."
"aww cute. sleeping beauty."
"yeah." i chuckled. "my mom liked naming us after things she likes, so she named my older brother matt after matt dillon from the outsiders, she named aurora after sleeping beauty and then me she got the name delilah as a version of the flower dahlia, but i have no idea what connor is from."
"was it a family name?"
"no. my mom was never a fan of the naming your kids after ancestors thing."
"dell, you went viral on tiktok."
"what? how?"
"someone took a video of you singing at the bar and posted it."
"what??"
"it's captioned someone needs to find this girl, she needs to sign to a record label."
"that's insane."
"i'm commenting."
"me too."
"oh, come on. don't do that."
"please, deli."
"yeah i wanna see where this takes you." luke whined.
"guys the music industry can be one of the hardest to get in. i doubt i'm going to go anywhere."
"deli, look at olivia rodrigo, she blew up on tiktok look at her now."
"her song blew up on tiktok, everyone already knew her from the high school musical show."
"please please please, delilah."
"no. i will comment on it i don't need eight nhl players commenting on this poor persons tiktok."
luke ended up sending me the tiktok and i commented with a quick lol that's me! ur so sweet
and shut my phone off.
later that day we all were getting ready to go out for dinner. i finished doing my hair and makeup and set out the dress i wanted to wear but soon grew a little nervous.
i dont really wanna wear a dress.
i started getting in my head about how i'm not pretty and i shouldn't be wearing stuff like this. i just stood there watching the dress like it would somehow speak to me and tell me to wear it but of course it never did.
i sighed and hung it back up in my closet and looked back at all the other dresses i packed. i didn't have very many options but what i knew was that no matter how i felt i had to pick one.
i heard a knock at the door so i walked out of the closet to see jack standing there with dress pants and a button up on.
"hey, dells, why aren't you dressed?"
i looked down at the floor and fiddled with my fingers.
"hey, what's the matter?" he asked lifting my chin up.
"i... i don't know. i-i know we're going somewhere nice so i have to wear a dress, but for some reason i can't bring myself to. i'm nervous that if i do then something like yesterday will happen again and jack, i really don't want it to happen again."
"i know, pretty, i understand. listen, i will not let anything like that happen again, ok? i will be with you the whole time. even if you have to go to the bathroom i'll stand outside the door for you or have my mom go with if it makes you more comfortable. i can sit next to you and hold your hand the whole time and while we're walking i can walk behind you or beside you with my arm around you. i will do anything you need me to, delilah because i never want to see you as scared as you were yesterday ever again."
"really?"
"yes, delilah. i really care about you and i need you know you're ok and you're safe before i can feel ok. now let's go find you a dress, yeah?"
"okay."
we sifted through the dresses and jack picked out a white one with blue detailing.
i took it from him and went into the bathroom, putting it on and then walking out.
"you look, beautiful."
"thanks.."
"come on, let's get downstairs they're probably waiting for us."
that night jack stood by his word. he had his arm around my waist when we were up and walking and he held my pinky in his while we were sitting in the restaurant.
every day i've known this boy jack makes me feel special. and with every day i come more and more at peace with my thoughts on him. i'm falling for this boy, and hard.
A/N:
i know that evermore doesn't come out until december of 2020 and this right now takes place in august of 2020 but it doesn't really affect the timeline very much so i kept it lol