My room looks like it did when I was sixteen; clothes are strewn everywhere. I have changed nearly a dozen times, and I'm standing in a damn towel with no clue what to wear.
What does a newly single woman in her thirties wear out these days? It's been ages since I've been out, and I'm more anxious than excited about it. In Eastland Heights, I had no one to go out with. I tried doing girls' nights with coworkers a few times but found out they only talked about work all night.
I never understood why Julian liked partying with his coworkers so much. I hated it, and because I went a few times, they kept asking, and I had to make excuses till they stopped. So horribly awkward.
Honestly, the only girlfriend I ever enjoyed going out with was and still is Brandi. Let me disclaimer that, usually, enjoy going out with. She's pulled me into more than one bad situation, and we've had a couple of major fallouts, but she's the person who got me to come out of my shell, and she's someone I can be real around.
I was folding a sock when I realized my marriage was over. Talk about anticlimactic, right? But that's when it hit me. Sitting on the bed, folding a sock, which by the way, I thought was silly. The underwear drawer is meant to be a mess, but Jules likes them folded. So, I was sitting there wondering how many damn socks I folded over the years. Knowing he never thanked me even once, I said, I think I'm over this. I think it's over.
When that thought hits you it's like a bullet and I needed someone to talk to that night. Brandi was the first person I thought of. I chewed her ear off, and she sat and listened. She didn't judge me for one second, and she didn't offer me any advice either. She let me work it out on my own and just provided an ear. I'll forever be grateful to her for that.
I survey the pile of clothes all over my bed, the problem is that all my outfits from the past decade just aren't my style. Julian felt my look was 'too country' for Eastland Heights and encouraged me to dress more conservatively and modern. He was right; I wasn't moving up any ladders in cowboy boots and frilly skirts. But still, it was just one more thing that made me feel like I didn't fit into this world he wanted for us.
I make my way to the chair where I'd tossed a bunch of old dresses hanging in my closet. I pick up a dress from the pile and let the silky fabric run through my fingers. I suddenly realize what dress it is as my eyes fall on the red and white flowers. I had shoved it way back into the depths of my closet, far from my sight, but I must've pulled it out in my haste. I sit down on my soft carpet as I grasp it. Unable to hold back the memories it brings.
"You're shaking! Are you cold? Here" He shrugs off his coat and hands it to me.
"Thanks." I feel an instant warmth as I shrug it on.
"Why are you wearing a summer dress in January?"
"You're the one that picked the barn," I point out.
"And look at this setup!"
"You did great." I am impressed. I never expected to walk in and find the barn swept out and cleaned up. A hay bale sits in the corner with two quilts over it, and next to it is an old crate that was set up with a picnic basket of food, a bottle of strawberry wine, and two glasses.
"You shouldn't have done all this, actually," I say with a sheepish look. "I gotta admit, I got your note and threw on the first dress I saw and ran out here."
He laughs, "I didn't do as much as you think. I grabbed the food and wine off the counter from my mom's New Year's party on my way out the door, the blankets were in my trunk, and it didn't take long to sweep the barn."
"Don't you go discrediting your romantic act now," I scold in a teasing voice. "But that does explain why we have Boone's Farm wine."
"I figured this was the one bottle she wouldn't miss... but," he takes a step closer. "We're not here to talk about bad wine and how pretty you are in inappropriate dresses or even how surprisingly good I am at romantic gestures."
"We're not?" I tease as I tilt my head.
"Nope." His voice is playful but as our eyes lock the air grows heavy with nervous energy and unsaid words, waiting to be said.
"Then tell me, Olly, what are we in here to talk about?"
I shudder, staring at the dress for a long moment until I stand up. Even though I should throw it away, I don't. I hang it back up in the back of my closet, so I can be assaulted with the memories again some other time.
I pick up a silky orange patterned dress next. It's so pretty, and don't think I ever wore it. As I slip it on, I see why; it's sexier than I usually dare, with a plunging neckline and thigh-high slit. I'm about to take it off and move on when I look again. The neckline is risqué, but it clings to my breasts just right, making them look perky, its's fitted in the waist, highlighting my curvy hips, and the skirt makes my legs look long and slender. I can't recall the last time I looked in a mirror and thought, I look good, so fuck it. I'm wearing the damn dress; I deserve to feel good for a night.
I pair it with a cropped jean jacket that I leave open and leave my long hair down in loose waves. My favorite brown cowboy boots finish the look, and in the end, I find myself smiling at my reflection as I whirl around in the mirror.
"Kinz, you ready?" Hunter's voice calls from downstairs, and all the nerves return, just like that.
The words, 'Next time you ask me to kiss you,' have been playing in a loop in my brain all day, swirling around me, leaving me a mix of curious and scared. Hunter and I always had a flirty vibe. Sometimes I felt there was more to it, but I never allowed my mind to go there long; I was wrong once and crushed. A girl doesn't put herself out there twice.
And now... he's said it and—
What do I do?
I start pacing as my brain picks the worst time to analyze this. Hunter is right about how fresh I'm out of my marriage, but it was nearly a year ago now that I realized it was over. Moving on is scary, but I'm close to being ready to do that.
That red and white flowery dress in my closet screams at me. I can't risk another lifelong friendship... I ... can't... but, it's Hunter.
"Kinz?" He calls again.
"Yeah, coming," I call back. I opt to leave the mess where it is but shut my door, so my mama doesn't end up seeing it and cleaning it. As I creep towards the stairs, I hear voices from the living room and the hum of the television. I'm relieved Hunter isn't waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
"There she comes," Mama says as I hit the creaky step.
"You two have fun!" Dad calls.
"We will. Don't wait up," I peek into the living room. They are cuddled up on the couch, Daisy sitting between them, watching some mini-series they're both obsessed with.
"Have a good night, y'all," Hunter says and ducks out of the living room; the entryway suddenly seems smaller than ever, with his big body and mine filling the space. He's wearing a pair of fitted jeans and a long-sleeved thermal shirt that shows off all the muscles under it. He smells like his Irish spring soap, and his inky hair is still slightly damp, combed straight back.
I busy myself with grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder. He steps towards the door opening it for us, and I'm standing right in front of him. The air goes still, silent; I don't even hear the hum of the television anymore.
"Hey," I say awkwardly.
"I'm sorry," he says at the same time.
"What are you sorry for?" I usher him out the door shutting it behind us, and we find ourselves standing on the front step.
"I made it weird," he admits.
"You did not," I deny.
"Yeah, I di—" He trails off as a chill in the air causes me to fold my arms around myself, and in turn, I essentially push everything I got at him.
"Now you are," I giggle as I tilt his chin up, and he relaxes as he flashes me the teasing grin I know so well.
"You wearin' that to torture me?"
"Honestly, it was more for me," I confess. "Had to see if I still had it."
"Oh Darlin, you always had it," he mutters, sending an excited shiver up my spine.
**
We meet Brandi at the bar in town, and from there, we're going to take a cab out of town. Hunter parks in the free lot at the edge of town so he doesn't have to feed a meter, and then we walk the short block to the bar.
Brandi is already sitting at the bar and Charlie gives me and Hunter a big grin as we walk in. Charlie took over ownership of the bar at the ripe age of sixty-two because it wasn't until then that his dad Charlie Senior, Chucky, for short, was willing to retire. Charlie, like his dad, is a jovial guy; he has good energy, and it fills the bar too.
"Hiya Hunter and Kinsey, wow, as beautiful as ever, aren't you? So much of your mama in you; welcome home, girl," Charlie greets us with a huge smile that's impossible not to return.
I bet whoever coined the old phrase, there's no place like home, had a bar with a Charlie in their hometown.
"Thanks, Charlie it's good to be home," I say as I sit down, he's already filling Hunter with a frothy beer that he takes gladly before looking at me,
"Wine for you, I assume?"
"No, get her a margarita; we're having fun tonight!" Brandi argues.
"Not yet, I got to ease in."
She rolls her eyes, but I've learned to pace myself when out with her.
I smile at Charlie. "Any white that's already open will do."
He pours me a glass of Pinot Grigio and Hunter starts to hand over a few bills, but Charlie pushes them back at him.
"First rounds on me."
"Thanks, man," Hunter says.
"Anytime, Brandi, one more?" Charlie asks.
"I think you want something," Brandi eyes him suspiciously.
"I was hoping you'd watch the bar for a few minutes, maybe ten tops," Charlie explains, and she grimaces. She doesn't get many nights off. "I swear I ain't going far, Hon. I got a renter coming in later tonight, and I need to make sure nothins' dead up there, been a while."
"And if there is something dead, still ten minutes tops?" Hunter jokes.
"He'll come get you to handle it," Brandi snorts.
"There isn't anything dead up there!" I laugh and shake my head.
"We'd surely smell it, I'd think," Charlie looks worried. "But I better check."
Brandi laughs, giving Charlie an affectionate pat on the hand. "I got the bar go check, Charlie."
"Thanks," he says gratefully as Brandi, who still seems to think she's in her twenties, climbs over the bar and easily too. I'm impressed and a little jealous.
"Why a renter so late anyway?" she asks as Charlie fishes the keys to the upstairs apartment from the locked drawer behind the bar.
"No idea, James from across the street, asked for the place earlier. Someone important must be flying in if he ain't willing to put them up at motel eight with the rest of the crew." He hurries off to the back, as Brandi starts making herself a drink.
"They been dealing with break-ins," Bob, an older guy at the end of the bar, chimes in. "At the duplexes, just teenagers, I think, but James was mad about it. They all took off earlier to go chase them out."
"Kids have been partying in the vacant duplexes' for years now, gonna be hard to get 'em to stop," Hunter comments.
"Maybe he called in backup then," Bob guesses.
"To fight off teenagers?" I roll my eyes and scoff out loud. "That guy is such a cocky asshole."
"Kinsey..." Brandi says, but I continue.
"Well, he is. I mean, seriously, let the kids have their damn fun; they're tearing down the damn houses anyway," I continue as Brandi's eyes widen, which only fuels me further. "Hell, I have a good mind to join them in there. Whatdya say, should we skip karaoke and go party in the duplexes?"
"It matters because it's a soon-to-be construction site, not a damn playground," I hear the familiar voice behind me and cringe as Brandi stifles a laugh. I slowly turn around to see James standing there; he regards me coldly as our eyes meet. I can feel the annoyance coming off him in waves. It's surprising because he was so calm when he first met me, unbothered and even amused by me. He's clearly on edge tonight.
"We'd be liable if anyone were to get hurt, and I don't want anyone to. Going in there and telling them to be on their way is nicer than calling the police. I won't hesitate, however," he continues in a lower voice. "To call the police on a grown woman who knows better."
"Settle down, man," Hunter is speaking up. "She was kidding."
"Interesting apology," He notes, throwing a side-eye my way as he sits down on the stool Brandi was just in. Despite the tension, she's already poured him a beer and is pushing her boobs together as she hands it over.
"What would you like me to apologize for?" My tone is icy, and Hunter nudges me to tell me to chill but I ignore it. "Joking about joining the teens or calling you an asshole? Because anyone that comes into someone's town and starts wrecking it is an asshole, as far as I see it."
"Kinz," Brandi warns but I keep on.
"Wrecking it?" He retorts with a scoff. "No one is wrecking anything. Those ugly old rundown duplexes haven't done anything for anyone in decades, and those stores were about to go under. We're saving this town, as far I see it."
He mocks my words and tone at the end, adding fuel to my fire.
"Please," I scoff. "If you gave a damn, you'd have hired people in this town to do the construction."
"But as we established, I don't know anyone here, so who would I hire? Who would I trust with such an important project?" He questions.
"I put a bid in to help with the duplexes," Hunter chimes in. "I understand you don't know me, but a reference check would've appeared glowing. I work damn hard, and so does my crew, and I'm fair on what I ask for pay."
"I'm sure it would've, and I'm sorry we couldn't work things out," he says in a clipped voice, and I can tell his annoyance is further growing, but so is mine.
"That's a canned crap response if I ever heard one," I blurt out.
"Nothins' dead up there!" Charlie announces as he reappears. "Oh Uh... hi James... I was checking the apartment...."
James relaxes some as he looks at Charlie, he lets out a short chuckle. "Glad there's nothing dead up there; he'll be happy about the first-class accommodations."
"Your timing is perfect, Charlie; we better go before Kinz gets any hotter," Brandi says.
"Good idea!" Bob calls out.
"Right, come on, little Darlin," Hunter says as he takes my arm his touch does help ease my anger some.
"What's going on?" Charlie looks confused as we stand.
"I'll fill you in tomorrow," Brandi promises.
"Okay then, well, have fun and be safe, Brandi!" Charlie warns her as she starts walking with us to the door.
"Yeah, yeah," she acts casual, but I see she's smiling at how he cares.
I feel eyes boring into my back and whirl around, but when I do, James has turned away and is facing the bar. I hasten my steps as we head out into the night, anxious to get away from him.
**
The karaoke bar is the perfect sight for sore eyes. It's big and spacious and has an eighties vibe intentionally. The bright walls range from neon yellow to highlighter pink and lime green; and the floor is a black and white checkerboard style tile. The lighting is a soft pink hue that's both fun and relaxing at the same time. I love it, and the change of scenery helps boost my mood instantly. It has a huge stage for karaoke that overlooks a dance floor and a handful of tables.
"I'll get us drinks; you two grab a table," Brandi directs, and then beelines for the bar, a huge circular island-style bar, as colorful and bright as the walls.
"You know she's getting you a margarita, right?"
"I know, and probably shots too."
"Never grows up, does she?" Hunter says as find a table and plop down.
"Well, in some ways, she has," I defend her. "She does take care of them kids and all."
"Yeah, that's good of her," Hunter agrees. "Sure, it ain't easy, seeing as how they're Billy's spawn."
"Don't sound like it."
"You feeling better after all that at the bar?" There's a flicker of concern in his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I flush.
"What is about that foreman that gets you so riled up?"
"It's not him so much as that damn company he represents. I just—coming home was comforting," I explain. "The one thing that made the last several months easier was knowing I'd be coming home soon. I hate that it's changing. I don't want it to change."
"I know it's hard, Darlin." he reaches over and squeezes my hand. "But it's life; towns change, they get bigger, and we just got to roll with it; we can't stop it."
"But the duplexes and the bookstore, it feels so personal like... I don't know," I sigh.
"I do," Hunter says softly as he leans closer. "You feel like they're coming in here and erasing all your memories with Oliver."
I... what? I can't say anything; my mouth drops open. Olly is another thing Hunter, and I don't talk about, not anymore. I don't understand why all these boxes are suddenly flying open.
"I know you Kinz," he continues. "But that's not going to happen, okay? The buildings are just places; they can go away, but it doesn't mean the memories do."
"Three margaritas and three tequila shots!" Brandi returns with a literal bar tray as she slides us each a frosty mug and a shot glass with tequila.
"I don't want a margarita," Hunter gripes.
"Oh, just try it, they're known for these," Brandi is already sucking hers down. "It's grapefruit jalapeno."
"So weird that I have to try it," I say and when I take a sip, my eyes widen. The spicy heat balances the bitterness of the grapefruit perfectly and brings out the citrusy flavors in the tequila too. "Yum! This is so good seriously you'll like it Hunter, try it!"
"Okay, Kinz sold it," Hunter still looks scared as he sips from it, but then I see his eyes light up too. "That is good."
"Told you," Brandi brags as she sucks down more. "Okay, y'all, we're doing shots, ready?"
"Ready," I agree as I pick up my shot glass.
"What are we toasting to?" Hunter asks as he picks his up.
"To Kinsey, coming home," Brandi calls out.
"I'll cheers to that," Hunter agrees.
"No," I deny the offer. "Not me."
"Why not you?" Hunter's eyes meet mine as he flashes me that irresistible smile of his.
"Because I'd rather something... more," I ponder the perfect toast as I trail off.
"Well pick something," Brandi whines. "I want to take my shot."
"To new beginnings, old friends, and a good fucking night," I declare.
We all clink our glasses together and then down our shots.
More of this night out continues in the next chapter! I hope you liked!
I was totally hearing bejeweled while Kinsey was getting ready, haha.