JESSA
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In my dream, I was in a place where there's nothing to see but white.
I was standing in the middle, feet feeling like it was anchored on the ground. My breathing was controlled and shallow, as if I was breathing inside of a closed container.
I looked down and realized I was not wearing the leather clothes Castillo had handed me. Instead, I was wearing my school jogging pants and a white shirt.
The same fit I was wearing when we were transported to the Blood of the Dragon. I was one again inside my original body. I wanted to rejoice, to be excited to be finally back in my own body, but I couldn't.
Umikot ako at pinakiramdaman ang paligid. Wala akong nakikita pero alam kong hindi ako nag-iisa dito. Someone was here. I just know that someone's gaze was on me, watching me, waiting for something.
I wanted to run, to move, to get out of this place. But all I could see was the fog that started to materialize out of nowhere. It spreaded around and I was afraid that the more it would thicken, the more I would find it hard to breathe.
My heart thundered inside my chest. Fear climbed in my spine. I know that no matter where I turn, there'll be no escape from this place.
All of a sudden, something sparkled from the distance in front of me like a mirror that had been hit by a light.
Then, something slowly formed from the back of the fogs. A human-like shape gradually formed. I can see there a woman with familiar long blond hair wearing clothes made out of reddish leather. Even with her eyes closed, even though she's not moving, I know that person very well.
In front of me, is the character I am in, Princess Blaidrah of Shirene.
Sobrang kumabog ang puso ko sa dibdib dahil ngayon ko lang siya nakita na hindi galing sa reflection. She's literally here right before me being a whole other entity. Hindi ko malaman ang nararamdaman ngayon, what Blaidrah looked right now is also how my comrades see me.
But there's something so wrong in this place.
I cannot comprehend why it was starting to feel like the air was lowering down, and why Blaidrah's eyes are closed like she's.. Dead, inside of a coffin.
Tumaas ang mga balahibo ko. Is this another reminder for me? That Blaidrah's fate is to die?
Ilang beses ko nang sinabi sa sarili ko, pati na rin sa kanila Stefan, na we will have our happy endings. But if I am constantly been reminded of the tragic ending, para 'bang nawawalan na naman ako ng pag-asa. Gaya 'nga ng sabi ni Jonah, "we are just kids, we are not supposed to be heroes."
Pinagmasdan ko lang si Blaidrah sa harapan ko. Is she even alive? Hindi ko masabi kung humihinga pa siya.
I raised a hand and tried to cup her face. But her eyes opened before I could even touch her. Her intense dark eyes stared back at mine, making my heart leap in surprise.
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Napabangon ako. The silence of the night hugs me. My heart beats so fast that I can't take stable breaths.
May ilang bahid ng pawis ang tumutulo sa ulo ko. Mahapdi rin ang mga mata ko na para 'bang umiyak ako nang matagal. Oh, have I been crying this whole time?
Sinubukan kong kumuha ng mahaba at malalim na hininga. I close my eyes and allow the night's solitude to wash over me. I listen to the quiet rustle of the trees and breathe in the cool, fresh wind.
Nilingon ko ang mga kasama ko. Magkakatabi sa kabilang banda ang mga lalaki, samantalang si Jonah at si Castillo ay natutulog sa magkabilang gilid ko. Tumayo ako at hindi lumikha ng kung anong ingay.
Wala na ang apoy at tanging abo at durog na mga kahoy ang natira sa gitna. Naiwan din ang baso sa lupa na mga nakatumba pa. Hindi na pala namin nagawang magligpit kanina, lahat pala kami ay halos bumagsak na sa pagod.
Lumakad na ako palayo sa kanila at umupo sa lupa. Naririnig ko pa rin ang hilik ng kung sino man and I can't help but to crack a silly smile at that. I guess one of us is a noisy sleeper.
Muli kong naalala ang panaginip ko. 'Yung takot na biglang tumakbo sa sistema ko nung nagbukas ang mata ni Blaidrah. Napatingin ako sa mga kamay ko— sa kamay ni Blaidrah. It's interesting, how I am literally inside her body but the more I spend my time here, the more of a mystery she becomes.
How fucked up the things might have been for her to have such a tragic end?
Yumuko ako at ginulo gulo ang buhok ko. Hindi ko na alam. Ang gusto ko lang ay umuwi.
Malamig ngayon sa pwesto ko, at ang tanging hinahanap ko lang ay ang malambot kong kumot. The weird dream I had seems to leave a heavy burden in my heart. Muli na naman nabubuo ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. Kung nasa bahay ako ngayon, alam kong tumungo na naman ako sa kwarto ng mga magulang ko para sumingit sa kanila mama sa higaan.
"Panaginip lang 'yon." Naalala ko kung paano ako niyayakap ni mama habang sumisiksik ako sa gilid niya. "Hindi iyon totoo... Hindi 'yon mangyayari."
Isa isa nang bumagsak ang mga luha ko. Mama, pwede 'bang sabihin mo sa akin ngayon na
panaginip lang lahat ng ito? Na magigising ako na katabi ko kayo? Na magiging ayos lang lahat?
Sumasakit na ang lalamunan ko dahil pinipigilan ko ang mga iyak ko. I try to conceal them, but the sobs break free from my throat, my tears continue to flow down my cheeks, and my shoulders start to shake.
I just want to go home, is that too much to ask?
Isang kaluskos ang umingay mula sa likuran ko. Liningon ko iyon at nakita si Castillo na nakatayo na pala sa likuran ko habang kinakamot ang kanyang mga mata. She kinda looks freakish because of her big and messy curly hair.
"Akala ko naghahallucinate lang ako, but you're really crying." Lumakad siya papalapit sa akin. "Your cry woke me up."
Pinahid ko ang mga luha ko. "You should be asleep."
Pumamewang si Castillo. How can she be this sassy when she just woke up? "I should be asking you that."
Umupo siya sa tabi ko. She folded her legs and hugged her knees against her chest.
"You can judge me for crying," sabi ko. "I am an emotional person."
She chuckled at that. "I won't judge you, you idiot. Why would I? I want to go home too. I miss my home like you do."
I smiled at that. Patuloy kong pinahid ang mga luha ko. I take in a deep breath to calm my nerves.
"I'm sorry pala," halos pabulong na sabi ni Castillo. "About what I said kanina.. About how everything is your fault. I never mean it. I was just so overstimulated."
"Oh." I blinked. "I understand you. Huwag mo na isipin."
"I bet na ilang beses mo iyon inisip 'no?" She looks at me. "Alam mo man na dala lang ng stress ko 'yon, nasaktan ka pa rin di'ba?"
"Well.. yeah. Ofcourse, paano naman na hindi ako masasaktan doon? But don't think too much about it. Naiintindihan kita."
"Then the damage has been done." She said, "I am really sorry for hurting you."
"I hope nothing like that ever happens again," I answer. "Alam mo naman na we're really sensitive because of stress, right?"
Tumango siya. "Got it."
Walang nagsalita sa amin pagkatapos non. I was expecting for the air to be awkward, but the calm breeze seems to blow the uneasiness away. Sabay kaming huminga and just existed beside each other.
"I miss home, too." Ulit niya at lalong hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanyang binti. "My life back there is never perfect. But I still have lots of things to do there. Kailangan ko pa maghiganti sa mga nanira sa akin and to prove them all wrong."
Ngumiti ako sa sinabi niya. "Ang dami ko 'nga naririnig na naninira sayo sa school. But you seemed unbothered."
Marahan siyang tumawa. "On the outside, yes of course I am unbothered. But they broke me more than everyone had taught. It made me question my self-worth."
She unfolds her legs and looks at the sky above. "But I know myself more than them, bakit hahayaan kong sila magdikta para sa akin? Besides, alam ko lang naman na naiinggit lang sila sa akin. I am pretty, one of the highest sections, and confident in my own abilities." She looks at me with a beautiful glint dancing in her eyes. "Not everyone has that, so they'll mask up their jealousy and insecurity with hatred, to make them feel superior over me."
"That's.. That's a very interesting viewpoint."
Tumawa ulit siya. "I learned it the hard way."
Another comfortable silence once again falls upon us. The heaviness in my chest is still here, but Castillo's presence helps to lessen it.
I never ever thought I'd have a deep conversation with Selene Castillo. Hindi naman dahil sumasang-ayon ako sa mga naririnig kong hindi maganda tungkol sa kanya, her and my circle just feels so distanced with each other that I never anticipated to know her better.
Being transported to another universe really gave me things I never expected.
Isang kaluskos ulit ang narinig mula sa likuran namin. Lumingon kami pareho at nakita si Jonah, nakatayo lamang at nakatingin sa amin. "Girls' talk tapos hindi ako kasama?" Her voice sounds hoarse and genuinely disappointed.
"Ang ganda kasi ng tulog mo," Castillo states. But she gestures for her to sit beside her. "But it's never too late to join!"
Jonah happily follows. Kumuha siya ng malalim na hininga. "Mababaw 'nga tulog ko eh."
"Someone's a loud sleeper." Sinilip ni Castillo ang mga lalaking tulog na tulog pa rin.
"Si kuya talaga 'yun eh." Jonah made herself comfortable in her spot. "He's a heavy sleeper as well. He sleeps like a rock."
"Well, we had a long day. They deserve the rest." Tugon ko.
Nilingon ako ni Castillo at napangiti. "You're really caring, ano? No wonder why Stefan's all over you."
Para akong sinuntok nong sinabi niya 'yon. I was about to answer when Jonah gasps dramatically while covering her mouth. "Akala ko ako lang nakakapansin! Ikaw din pala!"
"He's soft for you." Dagdag ni Castillo na hindi nakakatulong sa sitwasyon
"Anong sinasabi mo—"
"Oo nga ate Jessa. Iba nga siya kung kumilos kapag ikaw ang kaharap ni Stefan." Sabi ni Jonah. "You like him too, right?"
"Girl, ang obvious kaya." Castillo nudged Jonah's shoulder, who giggled softly. "The others are probably seeing it too. Maliban dito sa isa." She raises an eyebrow at me. "Someone's oblivious."
"I'm not oblivious about anything." My whole cheeks burn in .. I don't know, in embarrassment? Suddenly feeling exposed?
Marahang napatawa lang si Selene habang tumango tango si Jonah. "Yup, she's oblivious."
"Itigil niyo 'nga," Napakamot nalang ako sa ulo at hindi sila tinignan. "He's not soft for me. He's.. he's.."
"Oh ano?" Tumatawa pa rin si Selene. "He's what?"
"He's.. normal!"
"Awtsuuu." Asar ni Jonah. "Pero seryoso talaga, he acts differently when he's around you."
"True," sang-ayon ni Selene. "You like him too, ano?"
Gusto kong sumagot, kahit sana pabalang para lang matapos ito. But I am not really good with lying.
"Omg she's turning red," sabi ni Selene at tinawanan ni Jonah.
"Hala, kinikilig siya!" Halos pahiyaw na sabi ni Jonah.
"Whatever!"
"Anyways," biglang sabi ni Castillo. "Hindi na nakakapagtaka kung magugustuhan ka 'nga ni Stefan. Look at you! You're a badass."
Mapait akong napangiti. "Yes, but, uhm, this is not my body.. So.."
"You care for him more than us," sabi ni Jonah. "Not that wala kaming pake sa kanya, but you get it."
Biglang malakas at malamig na hangin ang umihip. Kahit na makapalkapal naman itong suot ko ay hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na mapayakap sa sarili.
"My dress is good at cold," tugon ni Jonah habang kinakapa ang palda ng kanyang suot. "Ang galing naman na parang sukat na sukat ito sa katawan ni Aurixy."
"Si Hoderlia ang may talent sa pagdedesign at gawa ng mga damit." Marahang hinawakan din ni Castillo ang skirt ni Jonah. "She's really good with it. Tapos parang may prophetic vision din siya? Hindi ko lang sure."
Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Di'ba? Pati 'nga yung mga plato at pang-gamot mo sa bag mo. It seemed like she was already anticipating this event before you invaded her body."
"Exactly. She's kinda weird too, you know?"
Binaling niya ang tingin sa suot ko. "This design is the only one that was separated from the notebook where the outfits' designs are sketched."
Wala akong naisagot at napatingin lang sa suot ko. Wala sa sarili kong hinaplos ang materyal ng pants ko. "Per design, nakalagay doon mga pangalan ng katawan niyo. Kaya alam ko na rin kung kanino ibibigay 'yung mga damit when you came. But Blaidrah's fit really is torn away from the notebook." Tuloy niya, "Napansin ko kasi na may punit sa notebook, so I took time to find the missing page. I found it under a drawer. May mga ekis pa nga everywhere sa papel. Buti nalang nakikita pa yung design."
Something about that information sits oddly in my guts. "Mukhang perfectionist na artist si Hoderlia, malamang nainis sa sarili niyang gawa. But it's quite crazy how she hates this design when it was the most complicated, tsaka nagawa na niya itong damit. Ang weird lang."
Mukha ring walang naisip na isagot si Jonah doon. Grabe naman, bakit parang kaaway kung tratuhin ako ni Hoderlia?
Bigla tuloy ako napaisip sa maaring relasyon ng mga pinili ni Mater Fana. Being chosen to fight evil probably doesn't necessarily mean that they have a good understanding of each other, right?
Something bitter seemed to fill my guts when I thought of that. Sa sitwasyon namin, wala kaming mapapala kung magkakatalo talo lang kami. Hindi lang pag-alis sa mga katawan namin ang nakasalalay sa amin, pati na rin ang kapakanan ng mundong ito. Christopher is the only one who seems explosive most of the time, but the rest are okay, for now.
"Ang dami pa talagang tanong ng mga characters na napasok natin, ano?" Tinignan ni Jonah ang kanyang mga palad. "This is the first time I feel like a stranger to my body."
Hindi ko maiwasan na lalong mapayakap sa sarili. She's right. It is just like what I just thought about earlier.
How Blaidrah feels more distant from me, how she feels more like a stranger to me.
"But as long as kasama ko kayo, Ate Jessa at Ate Castillo, I think I'll be fine."
"Ate Castillo talaga tawag mo sa akin? Selene nalang." Sabi ni Castillo—Selene habang nakangiti, "Tsaka bakit ba kasi nakasanayan niyo na tawagin ako sa apelyido? Ang ganda ganda ng name ko. It means 'moon goddess.'"
"Huh." Napatingin ako sa buwan na nagniningning sa taas namin. "The Greek goddess of the moon."
"Exactly." She agrees. "Also, only my classmates na hindi ko naman halos nakakausap ang tumatawag sa akin sa apelyido ko. You guys are not just another typical classmate for me now. I almost died fighting alongside you. We're now friends!" Her voice raises an octave higher in sudden excitement. Kahit hindi ko pa talaga nababawi ulit ang lakas ko mula sa tulog ko, ay nagawa ko nang nguimiti na kasing lapad ng kanya. "Drop the ate na rin sa akin Jonah. Aren't you like, older than me?"
"Hoy oo nga 'no." I shift my attention to Jonah. "Hindi ba, taong 2004 ka? 2005 ako eh."
"Oo 2004 ako. Si kuya ang 2003."
"You crazy bitch, you're the eldest among us." Cast— Selene playfully bumps their shoulders. "Bakit ikaw ang wagas tumawag ng ate sa amin?"
"You made me feel old!" I exclaim.
"It's just out of habit! To be polite! Ang cool niyo kasi and you feel like sisters to me." Jonah explains. "Hayaan niyo na akong tinatawag kayo na Ate. It's my sign of respect."
"I never see myself as respectable but okay, if si Jonah na ang nagsabi edi—"
"Edi wala na tayong say pa." Pagtapos ko kay Selene.
I stretch out my hand to Selene, and say, "Hi. Selene. Call me Jessa na rin."
Selene smiles first before gently shaking my hand, "Hi, Jessa."
Sabay sabay nalang kami napatawa. Oh, when was the last time I did this? To sit down with friends, under the glimmering moonlight, and talk about different things?
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When we came back to sleep, I had a dream again.
But this time, it feels more solid and real. I can clearly sense the solid rocky ground against my boots, the humid air that was passing through the gigantic trees around me, and the guttural sound that was coming from somewhere.
Agad na bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa naririnig. I know that there was a monster somewhere out there. A gigantic one, probably.
Before I could even move to confirm my hunches, something red and enormous raised up from behind the rocky hill. Hindi ko agad naaninag ang bagay na lumilitaw. But the glow of the setting sun had bathed it perfectly for me to realize what was going on.
It was the wing of a dragon.
And then, slowly, the head of the dragon emerged as well from behind the hill. Its red color glistened splendidly under the radiance of the sun. Under the dragonish gaze, I almost stumbled down and let my knees touch the ground. Under the shadows of the great red dragon, I shivered and closed my eyes to feel the unique and powerful presence of such an entity.
The red dragon moved its head and looked at a woman standing not too far— someone I didn't even notice.
The woman had long brown hair that was swaying along with the breeze from the movements the dragon had caused. Her eyes are nailed intently to the red dragon. She did not move an inch in her spot, she looked like she had long forgotten how to breathe because of the overwhelming presence of the creature before her.
But then, finally, she took a deep and sharp inhale. "Mater Fana."
Doon na tumaas ang mga balahibo ko sa narinig. Oh my God. Paano ko nakalimutan ang dragon na kinuwento sa amin ng matanda?
Pero ano itong napapanood ko ngayon? Ano itong pinapakita sa akin?
"My chosen one, Emariz Phina." Biglang boses ng babae ang tila ba nagsalita sa utak ko. At hindi ko na kailangan pa hanapin kung kanino ito galing, dahil malinaw pa sa malinaw na galing ito kay Mater Fana. "I knew you would come."
"I most certainly will do, ma'am." Naririnig ko ang panginginig sa boses ni Emariz. "How can I decline the call of the Mater Fana?"
If dragons could smile, I am so sure I just saw her do that. Kahit na dragon siya ay agad ko nang naintindihan ang sinabi ng matanda sa amin kanina. She really radiates compassion and warmth (literally as well). It's her beautiful radiance that can be felt no matter her form.
"I chose well." There's pride that covered Mater Fana's words, and it showed in the magnificent glitter that shrouded her entire form. "I will entrust you with a duty, my chosen one."
Kahit hindi ako ang kinakausap, kahit na parang hindi ako nakikita dito, ay tuluyang akong hindi na lalo nakagalaw sa pwesto ko. Sobra akong kinakabahan sa nakikita na para 'bang ako mismo ang nasa harapan ni Mater Fana.
"Darkness has been rising, and they are becoming stronger than ever." Suddenly, the dragon's bright eye dimmed. "However, I do not presently have the power to face such cruelty."
Hindi agad sumagot si Emariz. Pinagmasdan niya lang muna ang dragon bago kumuha ng hininga. "You crystalized yourself," she stated. "Your true form is crystalized on the west, just as where the sun sets."
The dragon slowly nodded. "Me and the enemy both started our slumber. One day, we shall wake again, and resume the great fight."
Marahang binaba ni Emariz ang kanyang tingin sa lupa. "I am sorry to ask such a ridiculous question, ma'am. But I do not see any importance of my presence in this matter."
"You are my chosen one. You are brave, you have love in your heart, and you are strong." Mater Fana's wings rose up again. And then, something golden glittered from the air between the woman and the dragon. "I chose you to acquire my greatest power and fight for the good of this land."
A golden cup appeared from the glitter and floated towards Emariz's hands. "This is my blood. Once you drink it, you will properly take my powers. You do not have to worry, my darling. There are five more chosen ones from this land whom I picked to become your companion in your journey."
The Blood of the Dragon. Tsaka ko lang naintindihan itong nangyayari sa harapan ko. This was the past.
She was the first carrier of the blood of the dragon. Emariz Phina was the first one who will drink the blood.
This was also where the origin of the other five magic users.
Tinitigan lang ni Emariz ang cup sa kanyang kamay, bago marahan umiling. "I am not certain about this, Mater Fana." Her eyes lifted up to gaze at the dragon. "I do not know if I am worthy of such a task."
"Are you doubting my choices, dear?" Her wings slowly folded on her sides. "I am certain of who I chose. I am sure of you. What makes you think you cannot trust me?"
Hindi muna umimik ang babae at muling tumingin sa hawak niya. "How about the others? Why are they not here?"
"You are the only one I simply want to see today," the dragon answers.
"What if I will not be able to fulfill my duty, Mater Fana?" Emariz kept her eyes on the cup of blood in her hand, as if talking to it. "What if things will never turn out the way you desire?"
"I chose you and your companions for a reason." Tanging sagot ng dragon. It was a simple answer, but it held so sincerity and assurance that demands no more complaints.
Kaya muli napatingin si Emariz kay Mater Fana, bago dahan dahan niyang nilapat ang baso sa kanyang labi, at ininom ang dugo.
It looked like the sun had glared more, the wind seemed to blow harder, the sky brightened up as if new heavens just rolled out beyond. Mater Fana again raised both of her wings in pure glee. "That's it! My Blood is now flowing in your veins, my magic is now passed unto you, the rest of your companions have woken up with newfound strength!"
Pero wala akong nakikitang pagbabago sa hitsura ng babae. An astonished look painted her face.
"Now, my chosen one." Mater Fana looked at her with visible happiness inside her dragon irises. "Find your five companions, and together, you will fight for the good. Fight for the light. Fight for our happy endings. Fight for me."
Mater Fana's wings started to flap until her entire body was lifted up in the air. At sa isang iglap, lumipad ang dragon patungo sa langit.
"BUT WAIT!" Biglang hiyaw ng Emariz. "WHEN WILL YOU WAKE UP? HOW CAN YOU BE WOKEN UP?"
I was looking at the flying dragon, when Emariz turned to me and asked. "HOW DO WE WAKE HER UP?"
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"WAKE HER UP?"
Napabangon ako bigla sa hinigaan ko. Sobrang lakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko at may patak ng pawis na tumatakbo sa noo at leeg ko.
Pero bago ko pa mapakalma ang sarili, ay napagtanto ko na wala na pala akong katabi. Hindi ko na rin natanaw ang mga lalaki sa kabilang gilid. Tatayo palang sana ako nang nakita ko si Jonah— na mukhang naka-ilang takbo na sa malayo.
"Jonah," I called out. "Anong nangyayari? Saan ka galing? Nasaan ang iba?"
"Ate Jessa." She looks like she's about to cry. "Nawawala si Kuya."
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