A little over 11 weeks had passed since I had last seen Morgan and I was now 14 weeks pregnant. Jared had been doing my check ups, but still told me frequently he disagreed with my choice of not telling Morgan. I could see why he would feel that way but I genuinely didn't think neither Morgan, nor I, had anything to gain from him knowing about the pregnancy. Two kids from two different women, none of which he was dating, would probably do quite the number on his reputation- which I now knew for a fact he would do anything to protect. And what was in it for me? Money? Fame? It's not like I wanted either of those things. I was determined not to take a penny from him. I would swallow my pride for a lot of things, but not that. Absolutely not. And being a mom was hard enough as it was, I had no interest in doing it in the public eye with hoards of people criticizing my every move. I realized that I might have judged Katie a bit hastily. After all, she knew Morgan, and had tried to warn me and protect Ellie. I had stumbled upon online articles about Indie's dog attack and people were being insanely harsh towards her. I genuinely felt bad for her and regretted my comment. I had thought of writing her to apologize, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Some new pictures of Morgan with a mystery blonde girl, sharing a kiss on his front porch a couple weeks after I had left, had surfaced online. I would be lying if I said that didn't break my heart a little more. To know he had already moved on from us was a hard pill to swallow. But he had every right to live his life and even though it stung, I couldn't hold that against him. We didn't owe each other anything and that was fine.
Ellie had been facetiming Lesli every week since we had gotten back from Tennessee and I had done a pretty good job at hiding the pregnancy from her too. But the more time passed, the more apparent the baby bump started to become.
I layed down in bed, dreading work in the morning. The nausea had gotten better, which I was grateful for, but my energy levels were still way off. Thankfully, Jared had been, once again, the most understanding and empathetic boss I could have ever asked for. I was scrolling down my Facebook feed when I noticed a text from Chelsea.
CHELSEA, 9:37 PM:
I think he's talking about you, dude!!! *hyperlink*
I clicked on the link and it led me to a TikTok that had been recorded by a fan during one of Morgan's concerts. You could see him, sitting at the piano, wearing that white long-sleeved shirt that I liked so much on him. My heart skipped a beat when he started speaking. I turned the volume up.
"A little while ago, I met an amazing lady," he started, the crowd already going wild. "The kind of lady that makes you want to stop messing around and settle down for good. And then I messed things up, making her feel like she didn't matter to me. Aubrey, wherever you are, if you see this; I wrote this song for you," he said, before letting his fingers run softly over the keys. He started singing and the words sent shivers down my spine.
"Girl, since you left me
Been tryin' to forget we
Ever became what we were
And I poured some whiskey
On places you kissed me
Tried to wash off all the hurt
But ain't nothin' workin'
I've lived out the words in
A thousand old sad country songs
But whenever I try to move on
It's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
Tryna tell a cowboy to slow down
It's like watchin' the way that the river rolls
And then tellin' it to turn back around
And I've held some strangers, told people I hate you
But I just keep hittin' a wall
It's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
It just don't do me no good at all
If I was only
Heartbroke and lonely
I'd head on back down to the bar
Find me a companion
But you left a canyon
Can't nobody fill in this heart
And girl, it's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
Tryna tell a cowboy to slow down
It's like watchin' the way that the river rolls
And then tellin' it to turn back around
And I've held some strangers, told people I hate you
But I just keep hittin' a wall
It's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
It just don't do me no good at all
No damn good, damn good, damn good at all
And baby, tell me how you did it?
I just gotta know
And tell me what's your secret?
And how'd you let me go so easy?
'Cause girl, it's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
Tryna tell a cowboy to slow down
It's like watchin' the way that the river rolls
And then tellin' it to turn back around
Oh, I've held some strangers, told people I hate you
But I just keep hittin' a wall
It's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
It just don't do me no good at all
It's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole
It just don't do me no good at all
No damn good, damn good, damn good at all"
I looked at the date on the video. It had been recorded the night before, at his Tacoma show; the last show on his tour. I felt my eyes well up with tears. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Maybe he really had been telling the truth? But that's irrelevant. It's too late, right? My mind was racing. I heard my phone buzzing against the throw blanket that was on my bed, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Hello?"
"He wrote a song about you, you know," Jared sighed.
"I know, Chelsea just sent me the video," I mumbled.
"It's not fair what you're doing to him, Aubrey."
"What I am doing to him?" I asked, offended. "Do I have to remind you of why things are the way that they are? He played me, Jared! I was all in! I had uprooted my daughter's life for him, left my job and my apartment behind to follow him around the fucking country! And he used me!"
"You never even heard him out. And now you're carrying his child and he doesn't even know. You're my best friend, Aubrey. You are, but he's my friend too and I can't keep lying to him when I know it's not right."
"I can't believe you're gonna do me like that, Jared. Seriously?! You know having two kids from two baby mamas is gonna mess up his reputation! What could he possibly have to gain from that?"
"He doesn't care about his reputation! He never fucking did! Do you see the way he conducts himself?! You think this guy gives two-shits about what his dumb fucking publicist has to say?" he asked, audibly irritated. He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, trying to regulate his emotions. "I know Morgan, Aubrey. I've known him since we were five years old and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that he's gonna want to meet his child. You don't get to take that away from him. If you don't tell him, I will," he said sternly before hanging up on me. Who the fuck does he think he is?! I threw my phone angrily, accidently hitting the lamp on my nightstand with it, which fell on the floor and exploded into a hundred little ceramic pieces.
"Fuck!' I yelled, slamming my fist into the mattress. I got off the bed and made my way to the kitchen to get the broom when I heard a knock on the door. I glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall; 10:12 PM. What the fuck? I looked through the peephole to see who was there and I froze. This can't be right. I opened the door slowly, poking my head out.
"Please, don't close the door," Morgan said, his voice weak.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I played my last show of the tour last night," he mumbled.
"I know. That's not what I asked. Why are you here?"
"I needed to see you," he admitted.
"Why? Is your publicist here to coach me too?" I snapped.
"Aubrey, you have to believe me, that was never what that was about," he sighed. "I loved you, hell I still do."
"So, why are you here, Morgan?" I asked, ignoring his confession.
"Because I want to fix things. I'm done touring for at least a year now. Maybe I'll still do a show here and there but I'm done being on the road for a while. I have all the time in the world to focus on you and Ellie and I want to prove to you that I'm serious," he said. "Can I please come in?" he mumbled.
"I don't know, I don't think that's a good idea-"
"Please let me hold you," he said, his voice breaking. "I know I fucked up, but I need you in my arms right now, baby. Please."
I hesitated for a second. His eyes looked so sincere, but I had been fooled before. But, seeing him so fragile, so raw, asking me for a second chance, made me want to hold him too. I looked into his eyes. Those damn blue eyes that had made me fall for him in the first place. Those same blue eyes that made me let him in that night.
I opened the door, finally allowing him to come inside, but he froze. As soon as he saw my whole body, his eyes immediately traveled to the little baby bump that was making my shirt a whole lot tighter than it was three months ago. Shit.
"Are you... pregnant?"
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So we hit 1k views today which is really awesome!! Thanks to everyone reading/voting/commenting! Your feedback truly means the world to me!
XO
LadyBug