"I think he's waking up..." A voice spoke, just as I began to blink the blurriness from my eyes.
After that, I could hear shuffling, then heavy footsteps, forcing me to look up to where I spotted Saint looking down at me with a worried expression.
"fuck... thank you..." I heard him whisper to himself as he released a breath of relief.
"what happened?" I questioned as I looked around.
Slowly but surely I was starting to realize we were in Eve's little medical room, but I still didn't remember how I got here, or what even led to it.
The last thing I remember was talking to Saint, then feeling a sharp pain in my...
wait...
In a panic I lifted the blanket to reveal my belly, I mean I'm not sure what I was expecting to see, but it was my first instinct.
"you're okay." Saint spoke, comfortingly me knowingly.
That's when everything started coming back to me, and the memories of the pain, and my conversation with Saint returned.
"W-whats wrong?" I asked, looking over at Eve who'd sat down on her stool a couple feet away.
"well," she started, before looking up at Saint, as if she was looking to him to explain.
He looked at her, then back down at me before releasing a breath.
"Saint?" I mumbled, feeling anxiousness arise.
"—you're starting to scare me," I added.
He reached down at gave my hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance before he spoke.
"I'm sorry." He stated foremost.
"—the truth is, this whole situation—the pregnancy—it's moving faster than expected..." he added lowly.
I creased my eyebrows in confusion as I spoke, "okay...so um..I mean what does that mean—how do you know that?" I asked, again looking at Eve.
"I mean technically, you're still not developing that much faster than a regular pregnancy." Eve began.
"The problem is, your body isn't suited for it, which we already knew," she mumbled.
"yeah, which is probably why I was in so much pain—we know that—so why are you two acting as if there's something else I don't know?" I frowned, looking between them both.
Again they were both silent, and this time I was the one to look up at Saint, motioning for him to speak.
He was acting so nervous, which was obviously unlike him. That made me even more worried, because what on earth could have him so nervous that he was not only unable to hide it, but unable to hide it in front of me.
"Angel..." he started.
"... Eve thinks...we're having uh...more than one...baby..." he mumbled.
I blinked at him for a couple of seconds before looking over at Eve with the same expression.
"like twins?" I questioned, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.
Saint only nodded, retaining his silence when doing so.
"How is that even possible at this stage?" I asked, shaking my head.
That prompted Eve to swivel on her stool in order to pull up an image on the computer.
It looked like an ultrasound image, so I'm guessing it's something she did while I was passed out.
"you see this?" She asked, pointing to the image.
I nodded, eyeing the graphic, "of course—it's still in the early stages, but I feel like what we're seeing, and rather, what you've been feeling—is the early stages of a twin pregnancy."
I shook my head again, this time while running my hands through my hair.
"—that just doesn't make sense, I'm barely a month along—how is this even possi—"
And just before I got to the last word I cut myself off, because asking what was possible at this point felt useless.
None of this should be possible.
"So that pain—was what, the beginning stages of the egg splitting" i questioned, in complete disbelief with the words coming out of my mouth.
"more or less." Eve nodded with a sympathetic look.
I'm unsure of the process is directly similar to that of a regular twin pregnancy with a woman, again, due to your genetic makeup. But based on current medical knowledge, that's what happened." She nodded.
I dropped my head in my hands after hearing that, immediately feeling Saint caress my back gently.
"...we'll figure it out..." he mumbled lowly.
"figure out what Saint?" I asked with a sigh.
Exhausted wasn't even the word to describe how I was feeling at this second. I'm not even sure the word existed anymore.
"We don't even know what's going on, and now I'm being told I'm having twins when the possibility of even surviving the birth of one child was low," I stated, shaking my head in exhaustion.
"Hun' I wouldn't get worked up—"
"How were you even able to figure this out?" I asked, cutting Eve off before she could finish speaking.
She looked taken aback by my question, even Saint looked a little shocked at my forwardness.
"—I mean a regular medical professional at a regular hospital wouldn't have been able to detect twins at this stage of a pregnancy...and yet you—you were able to do it with a male when I'm barely a month along," I spoke, looking on at her.
"In fact," I started again with a humorless chuckle, "how are you okay with any of this —I mean the fact I'm a pregnant guy sitting in your home, don't you think you've been a bit too calm about all this." I ranted.
"Angel..." Saint stated lowly.
"It's fine dear," Eve spoke to my boyfriend, waving off my outburst.
"Khalil, sweetie, your emotions and your questions are all completely valid. To tell you the truth, yes, this has all been new to me—but I think I look at it more as a blessing than anything else." She smiled.
"God blessed you two with this miracle, and he blessed me with being the one to deliver it. I'm shocked, in disbelief even, but I've lived long enough to know that almost anything is possible in this world, especially when dealing with powers beyond our comprehension ." She stated, smiling.
I watched her, creasing my eyes as I listened to her words.
"Detecting your pregnancy was hard, and yes, it was more of a hunch if anything. Honestly, suspecting your twins and the process of finding out what had caused you that sudden pain was also difficult, you can even ask Saint, I was scrambling over here." She stated with a lighthearted chuckle.
I was slowly beginning to feel bad for my outburst, but my emotions were all over the place. I had so many worries, concerns, and questions—all that, at this moment—had been directed at her...maybe I was wrong about that.
"Again, you are absolutely right to have your questions, anyone in your position would. But trust me, you're in good hands," she stated as she stood to her feet, "I'm pretty good with babies."
Her words did comfort me a bit, at the end of the day, she made a career off of delivering children.
If I was gonna have anyone looking after me through all of this, I guess it would be her.
"Is there anything he should do, just based on what we found out tonight?" Saint spoke up, looking at Eve.
"I'd say keep at what you've been doing, the pain shouldn't be as severe as it was earlier, but if it does, try to massage your way through it." She explained.
"Your iron levels were also low when I checked, which could've aided in why you passed out like that, keep an eye on that. I recommend getting some prenatal vitamins." She stated as she wrote on her notepad.
I kinda began to just gaze at the ceiling as Saint continued to listen to Eve.
Of course, I should be listening too, but it was harder to focus when I just found out what I found out.
How in the hell was I gonna navigate having two children, I still didn't even know how we were gonna navigate having one.
And even that's considering I don't die.
Just as the idea of being pregnant was starting to become just a tiny bit more acceptable, I learned something that flipped all of this on its head once again.
"also..." Saint began, his deep voice breaking me from my thoughts.
"We haven't wanted to try anything since he's pregnant, but, should we hold off on like...having sex and shit like that or..." he asked in his normal tone, and his nonchalant expression had returned replacing the uncharacteristic nervous one he wore earlier.
Still, the way he asked made Eve giggle to herself a bit before responding, "I'd say it's fine, just take it easy..." she stated.
I'd say we both got the gist of what she was saying, so no further questions were really necessary after that.
Saint and I stayed at Eves's place for around another 20 minutes just so she could monitor me, and then we left, which I was happy to do—because I was exhausted.
"Watch your step," Saint mumbled as he helped me into his truck.
I was still a barely visibly pregnant man with no issues walking honestly, yet I knew there was really no point in arguing against his caution, especially after finding out what we just did.
After closing the door behind me, he walked around to the driver's side of his truck and entered himself.
"how you feel?" He asked, looking over at me as he started the vehicle.
"I'm okay, I'm tired but I'm okay." I told him, forcing a small smile.
"don't lie." He shook his head.
"how do you feel about this whole 'twins' shit?" He asked again.
"how do you feel Saint?" I rebuttal.
His silence spoke for itself as he began to drive, "I don't know." He mumbled.
"Exactly," I stated, "neither do I, but I don't really have much of a choice either—all I can do is accept it at this point."
Again silence rose, but the warmth of his hand quickly rested over my thigh in a comforting manner.
"it's okay." He mumbled, "we'll figure it out."
I honestly had no response to that, so I nodded.
It wasn't that I didn't believe him, I just didn't know anymore.
For my sanity, I was gonna force myself to believe him, because like I said, there's nothing I can do to change it.
"I'm gonna stop at the store to pick up some stuff for you—imma drop you off back at the crib first though." He stated.
"I can't even come with you to the store—it's back to house arrest huh?" I teased.
"You passed out today Khalil, plus it's nighttime—you know I'm not finna have you out here." He replied.
"You say that like it being daytime would've made much of a difference," I replied.
"you need to rest." He replied simply.
Again, I stayed silent, he wasn't gonna budge—and it wasn't my hill to die on since I actually was pretty tired.
Once we arrived home, he parked, and then carefully helped me inside.
"you sure you don't feel lightheaded or 'nun?" He questioned, eyes scanning my body.
"I'm sure." I stated, rolling my eyes jokingly as I watched him unlock the front door.
Once the door was open, I walked in with Saint closely behind me.
"are you hungry?" He asked, watching me remove my jacket.
"Not really, but I should probably eat." I spoke, removing my shoes.
"Watchu want?" He asked.
"Saint when are you gonna get some rest, you've been up since early this morning—and you look exhausted babe." I frowned.
"I'm straight—what do you want to eat?" He asked.
" I can cook something, it's fine." I tried.
"how come I keep having to remind you that you passed out today Khalil, you don't need to be doin' nothin' but laying down." He spoke sternly.
He wasn't angry, or aggressive, but it was obvious he was serious. He rarely really got like this with me anymore, so I knew he meant it whenever he did.
"fine." I nodded, "uh—I guess I could go for a chicken wrap from that place you went to last week."
He nodded then spoke, "that's all?"
"and well—since you're insisting, I guess I could go for some kimchi—but it has to be a specific brand, y'know the one I usually get." I smiled.
He cracked a small smile after that before speaking, "okay."
things fell silent for a couple of seconds, but I took that as an opportunity to walk up closely to my boyfriend and reached up to place a kiss on his lips.
He kissed back of course, but let me set the pace of it.
Once we broke, I looked into his eyes and spoke, "I love you."
"I love you too." I replied, "you scared me today." He revealed.
scared?
"—hearin' you like that on the phone—I ain't like that feeling." He added.
"I'm sorry." I replied sadly.
"Don't apologize, that's not why I said it, I just want you to understand why I act how I act, or why I might act how I act in the future when it comes to your health and safety." He told me.
I nodded slowly in understanding as he spoke.
"I know you don't wanna be held up in here, and I know you damn near don't wanna be in this situation at all—with the baby—er well babies—I guess." He added.
"—but we are in this situation, so I'm just tryna do my best to make sure you're safe, that's all, I'm not tryna have nothin' like earlier happen again." He finished.
"I get it..." I mumbled, "It sucks but I understand."
"I just wish you could understand that what you felt earlier is how I feel every time you leave the house," I explained.
His expression changed after hearing that, his eyes got a bit wide and his lips parted.
"You're trying to protect me from so many things, and you're trying to make sure I'm healthy, which is all beautiful—and it's absolutely correct. But in doing so, you haven't even realized that if anything is gonna hurt me, or this 'pregnancy' it's gonna be something happening to you...or worse." I explained.
He digested my words for a bit before responding, "I understand..."
"—I'm trying," he added lowly, "and I promise, once this pregnancy is over, we're leaving... all of us."
A smile formed on my lips after his words, and I hugged into him, feeling warmth as he hugged me back.
We stayed like that for a comfortable couple of seconds before he broke away, "okay I gotta go before shit starts closing."
I nodded and spoke, "I'm gonna take a shower—hurry home okay, you need rest just as much as me!" I told him with a stern point of my finger.
"I will." He replied as he leaned down to place one last kiss on my lips before reaching for the door again.
Once he was out, I locked the door behind him and made my way to the bathroom.
With a sigh, stared at myself in the mirror and took in my appearance.
The baby 'bump' still didn't look too weird, it just looked like I gained a bit of weight if anything.
After taking a couple of deep breaths, just to relax my heartbeat, I went ahead and enjoyed a nice warm shower.
Twins...
It wasn't even like the news made me want to cry, I didn't know what to feel about it.
Genuine shock, and disbelief, I had no way of expressing any emotions because none of this felt real.
After about 30 minutes I wrapped up my shower and went ahead and finished up my night skin care before heading to the bedroom.
Saint never really decorated around here, so honestly each room just had the basic necessities.
It was fun for me to brainstorm about decorating, but I never really planned on doing it because I don't plan on living in this city for much longer.
well, nine months is pretty long but still, after that, I wanna run as far away as possible.
After moisturizing, I went ahead and threw on my pajamas before making my way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
While I was doing so, the front door opened, revealing my boyfriend carrying a variety of bags in his arms.
"that was fast." I spoke, eyeing him as he placed the bags down before closing the front door.
"I told you I'd hurry." He replied simply.
"—here's your food." He spoke, placing what I had asked for on the counter.
The moment the smell hit my nostrils, I swear my appetite woke up.
"—and is this the right one?" He asked, holding up a jar of kimchi.
"yep!" I replied, popping the p as I watched him place the jar down.
"damn, I got both just in case." He spoke, holding up another jar of a different brand.
"It's okay—that one's just a bit less sour, but I can still make something with it," I told him, chuckling at his cuteness.
"and these," he spoke, "Eve said to take these."
What he held were a bottle of prenatal vitamins, which he then also placed on the counter.
"I got this too though—I guess it couldn't hurt to help you catch up, she said you were low." He explained as he removed the bottle of iron pills from the bag.
I eyed him with warm cheeks before speaking, "thank you baby..."
"mhm." He hummed.
"Whats the rest of it?" I asked, looking at the bags.
"It's groceries." He replied.
"You just made groceries, I doubt we needed more." I giggled.
"I know, just thought we should stock up." He replied.
"Stock up for what?" I asked curiously.
He was silent though, which caused me to raise an eyebrow.
"Saint?" I questioned.
"Yeah, there's no particular reason." He shrugged, unbagging the items.
There was always a reason behind what Saint did, that's just how he was.
So although this started out as a joke, I was getting the hunch it was something more.
"you aren't in trouble are you?" I frowned, feeling that intuitive hunch that he was hiding something from me.
"What—Khalil don't start, just eat...you finna overthink yourself to death." He sighed.
I decided to let it go for now... but there was still something that was telling me he was hiding something.
While I began to eat, Saint put away all the groceries he made—allowing us both the comfortable silence.
Eventually, he went off to shower and I finished up my food.
After taking the vitamins and supplements, I grabbed a glass of water and headed to the bedroom.
I couldn't contain the sigh of comfort when my body finally hit the soft mattress and before long, Saint joined, taking his usual spot behind me.
He seemed to fall asleep within seconds, which had confirmed my hunch that he was exhausted—and had been overexerting himself all night.
I shifted gently in his arms so that we were face to face, then softly placed my hand on his cheek.
His breathing was calm and steady in his sleep, which made me feel so warm considering how much of his trauma had made beds uncomfortable for him.
For the most part, he was fine, but he still wouldn't sleep in bed without me, truthfully, he wouldn't even sit on it if I wasn't already on it.
Softly and slowly I caressed his mustache with my thumb, careful not to wake him.
I'd be so terrified to go through this alone, and honestly, I'm not sure if there was anyone on earth I could go through this with.
He was so level-headed with me and this whole pregnancy situation for the most part. Which would honestly be surprising to anyone that wasn't me.
His nonchalance used to drive me up a wall, but I actually think his calming energy and reassurance was keeping me from losing my mind.
Even if he was internally panicking, he'd never show it.
Earlier, his nervousness was such a rare sight that I knew whatever it was he was trying to tell me, it was important.
But as quick as the nervousness showed up, he masked it—and since then all I've seen from him was that normal calmness.
That's what I needed right now, to feel like everything would be okay even if it wasn't.
Saint made me feel like everything was okay.
And I fell asleep in his arms, knowing that everything would be okay.
When morning came, it did so with the heavy pitter-patter of rainfall, casting a dark shadow over the bedroom from the clouds.
It was that type of weather that made it really hard to leave your bed, and sure, it's not like I had anywhere to go—but still.
For an hour I lay there comfortably, drifting in and out of sleep before eventually waking up entirely.
Saint still seemed to be in a pretty deep sleep, which was fine, he deserved it, and if I woke him up I knew he wouldn't go back to sleep.
I decided to just enjoy the peace and scroll away aimlessly on my phone.
Living in Sidon literally felt like a bubble, seeing what was going on in the "outside world" via social media was still crazy sometimes.
Seeing celebrities be exposed for sexual deviancy, collapsing infrastructure, senseless violence—I mean seriously, at this point, it was starting to feel like Sidon wasn't that much different.
"goodmornin'." Saint spoke randomly, his deep voice causing the hairs of my neck to stand.
"Goodmorning," I replied, shifting over to look at him.
His eyes were still closed, but of course, he was handsome nonetheless.
"It's raining?" He asked.
"Mhm," I hummed, "a lot."
"Do you have to leave today?" I then asked, gently removing lint from his eyelash.
"nah." He replied.
"really—so it sounds like we're having a movie day today hm?" I teased with a smile.
"if you want, yeah." He mumbled.
My smile grew wider after that as I mentally thought of all the movies I'd make him sit through.
It was in doing that—that I realized he'd quickly fallen back asleep, as his light snores started back up.
I giggled and left him be, before returning to distracting myself with my phone.
If I got up and left, Saint wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, and I wanted him to get his rest, so enjoying the comfort felt like the best option.
As usual, scrolling on social media made me feel so disconnected from everything.
My old life, friends, and family were attached to it—so it felt so odd seeing them live their lives.
A couple of old friends actually reached out on Instagram these last few weeks, but I've just been so preoccupied with everything that I kept forgetting to respond.
I'd kinda fell out of contact with my friends, and I don't really think I had a 'best friend' before any of this per se.
I was the closest to my siblings, they were my best friends...but of course, what my dad says goes—so I haven't heard from anyone in months.
It doesn't hurt as much as it did initially, to be honest, now I have Saint...and apparently...we're both gonna be having more company than either of us accounted for.
The rain began to pick up heavily randomly, and it was clear that if anyone did have plans, they were most likely gonna have to cancel at this point.
A couple more minutes passed before Saint woke up again, this time he didn't speak, but I knew he was awake because I could see his eyes watching me lowly from my peripheral.
"how you feelin'?" He questioned once I shifted over to meet his eyes.
"I feel fine." I told him truthfully, palming the side of his face gently.
"no pain?" He spoke.
"nope." I replied.
He nodded and shifted over so that he was on his back, then he ran his hands down his face.
"I need to get up." He mumbled, yawning afterward.
"Why, I thought you said you didn't have to leave today?" I asked.
"I don't...I still feel like I need to be doin' somethin' though. I can't just be sittin' here when we got apparently two babies on the way." he replied.
"It's pouring Saint," I told him shaking my head, "you couldn't leave even if you wanted—and besides that, I don't want you to leave...I want you here...with me." I frowned.
He looked at me for a second, then nodded, "You right...I'm sorry." He muttered lowly.
slowly I leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek before I spoke, "I miss you."
Characteristically, he stayed silent, but it wasn't long before I felt his hand snake up to grip my chin, allowing him to force my lips into his.
It was a passionate kiss, a hungry one—a kiss that I literally got lost in.
When we broke, my cheeks were red with warmth and my lips were swollen to match.
"What was that for?" I asked, breathlessly gazing as I watched him slowly stand to his feet.
"I missed you too." He replied simply.
Those words brought a smile to my face and butterflies to my heart.
"C'mon." He then mumbled, holding his hand out for me to grab.
"where are we going?" I giggled, grabbing his hand to pull myself up from the bed.
"breakfast..." he replied simply.
"music to my ears!" I said jokingly, causing him to chuckle as he snaked his arm around my waist.
He led us to the kitchen where I took a seat on the stool while he made his way over to the fridge to begin cooking.
"I don't know, I think breakfast is becoming your specialty babe." I teased, causing him to snort in amusement.
"think so?" He replied.
"Mhm, it's the only thing you cook." I laughed.
"I gotta get good at it," he shrugged with a slight smile, "counting you—apparently I might be having two more mouths to feed..."
"yeah..." I spoke releasing a breath.
"twins..." I mumbled to myself in thought.
"it's okay." He spoke up, " we got it...whether it's twins or not."
"How can you be so sure?" I asked, "Aren't you just a little nervous?"
"I mean of course." He spoke as he closed the fridge.
"—but I understand that at the end of the day, it's still my responsibility. Whether I'm worried or not doesn't really matter when I have people to take care of." He added.
"I understand you're worried and shit—and I get it, it's your body, I'm not gonna tell you how to feel about anything. I just want you to know that either way, no matter how hard this shit seems for us... I know we'll figure it out." Saint finished, "I got faith in us..."
☯︎ 𝖍𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 ☯︎
sorry for any errors !