I'm....Pregnant.
And no matter how many times the lady across from me would repeat it, none of this felt real.
No matter how many times she explained my symptoms, how many times she showed me the 'baby' on the screen, nothing could make this feel real.
"I-I just don't understand, h-how is it we're already able to see it, it's only been a week since it could've been conceived, and even then... that's assuming it happened off our first time," I questioned.
"I'm not sure—but to be fair nothing about this pregnancy is exactly standard, we can't expect things to work the same, and we can't rule out any possibilities." She stated. "you are both two biological men, to say things may move quicker or slower during this...pregnancy...would be an understatement.
I looked over at Saint who was already looking over at me with an expression I couldn't read.
"Well if what you're saying is true—then—then shouldn't I go to a hospital, this is serious?" I frowned, turning back to Ms.Evelyn
"No!" She said immediately.
Her tone caused Saint to shift and walk slightly ahead of me.
"I-I'm sorry hun, I'm just passionate." She apologized.
"If you go to the hospital and they see this, you can guarantee the government will lock you away in some lab." She explained.
I hadn't thought of that, but it made sense. If I was some weird pregnant freak, then they'd wanna test on me—who could blame them?
"But couldn't this hurt me, my body isn't made to support a child or childbirth..." I spoke, shaking my head.
"actually, not necessarily," she stated gently, "As I said, it could be possible that you're an anomaly, a man who can naturally get pregnant. We can't rule out the possibility your body may adjust due to that."
"Adjust?" I asked.
"Well, when women get pregnant, our organs move, shift, all types of stuff to make room for the baby." She explained
"it's likely your body will do the same." She finished.
"but likely doesn't mean certainly." I stated bluntly, "So if it doesn't adjust...I could die..."
"That's true—and I won't lie, sweetie, there's probably a chance this could turn fatal, however—"
"Take it out," Saint spoke up.
"huh?" She questioned.
"If it's gonna kill him, take it out," Saint spoke adamantly.
I looked up at him and then over at Eve who looked nervous.
"That's the other problem..." she mumbled, "you can't..."
"What do you mean we can't?" I asked seriously, raising my eyebrows.
"Because this is so new, and has obviously never been done before, we don't know what could trigger something else, and we risk a domino effect if I go in and just start sucking things out." She frowned.
"the entire idea of an abortion would be different for a man, the process itself is unknown in this situation." Eve continued to explain
Saint stayed quiet after that, clenching his fists as he heard her words.
"So then I don't have a choice, I've gotta let this thing grow inside of me... and then hope that the birthing process doesn't kill me?" I questioned
"How am I even supposed to get it out!?" I asked, running my hands down my face.
"C-section, that's the only plausible way." She spoke.
That caused me to fall silent in thought, all while I stared down at my stomach.
Right now it was just my normal, lean abdomen—but apparently, there was a developing kid in there, something I still could not believe.
"And you sure the hospital can't do nun'?" Saint asked again.
"No, even outside of the city, going to a hospital would just end up with Khalil in some lab. They'd test on him until he's dead, all while they try to find a way to monetize his gift." She explained sadly.
Gift? I'm stuck with a weird alien baby for 9 months and I might die giving birth, this is anything but a Gift.
"and here, what about here in Sidon?" Saint asked.
"I-I wouldn't, have you two been watching the news?" She asked, causing us both to shake our heads.
"The baby thief—you guys haven't heard about it?" She continued.
"No—what are you talkin' about?" Saint asked, eyeing her in confusion.
"Lately babies have been disappearing right after birth, it's horrible." She frowned.
"All the new moms...all the babies, the police don't know what to do." She stated.
That sent goosebumps down my spine, as if this city couldn't get any more sick—there's a 'baby thief' on the fucking loose.
"Hm.." saint hummed in thought, caressing his chin hairs.
"I suggest avoiding all hospitals in general, but specifically avoid the ones here." She shook her head.
"These are some wicked times." She sighed, "It's as bad as it's ever been, and I've lived in this city for decades.
We all fell silent after that, up until Saint spoke, "Well what do we do—how can I make him feel better?" He asked.
"for now we treat it as a normal pregnancy, even if it's not, it's just safer this way." She nodded.
"Your diet needs to change, physical activity needs to change, and honestly...just given your circumstances, I'd lay low—the last thing you need to happen is for it to get out that a pregnant man is walking the streets." She told us cautiously.
"We'll meet every two weeks, and once you start showing—then we can meet once a week." She added, "How does that sound?" She asked.
I nodded silently, still too in shock to question anything.
Once she'd gotten the gel off my stomach and packed up all the equipment, Saint and I finally got to leave.
She had to pick up her nephew from the airport, and we needed to get back home to discuss our new crazy situation.
He was silent the entire way to the car, and it was only when I spoke that he did the same.
"Um...so...can you tell me where your heads at?" I asked, unsure how to approach this situation.
Sure I was the one pregnant, which was the most scary situation, but he was still the other party—he was in this just as much as I was.
"I don't know." He stated, causing me to grow anxious.
"Apparently I'm about to be a father, which is something I never wanted—but then again, it's not like either of us could plan for this.." he mumbled.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered sadly.
"Ay Nah, I'm not blamin' you, that's not what I'm sayin'." He spoke up, placing his hand down on my thigh.
"I just don't know what to think—you're pregnant now, with my kid."
"Not to mention the fact that we can't do anything about it, even if it risks your life...it's like we're just stuck." He explained.
"I'm not leavin' you if that's what 'chu worried about—and I'm not mad or no shit like that...I guess I'm just shocked." He stated.
I reached down to place my hand on top of his as I spoke, "At least I'm not doing it alone..."
"yeah, never—we in this shit together." He nodded.
"Saint I'm so scared," I spoke up, biting down on my bottom lip
"L-like the fact that this is even happening feels crazy, but the possibility that I could die in the process—how did this even happen?" I panicked.
"You gotta calm down Angel." He spoke calmly, rubbing his hand over my thigh.
"I'm trying, I-I just feel like a fucking freak—like my body isn't mine," I spoke.
This wasn't something I could explain, only someone in my position could understand—and unfortunately, as far as I know, im the first of my kind.
Not knowing what's going on in your body is terrifying, especially when you're being told that something is growing inside of it
What if we have this all wrong and it's a tumor or something, what if I have prostate cancer actually?
This...This was just something I couldn't believe, Pregnant?
"Khalil you ain't a freak—stop talkin' like that." He stated foremost.
"you can't really call yourself much of anything right now, it's so early." He added, "It could be possible that all this is some type of mistake—and by next week, shit will be back to normal." He comforted.
"Okay but what if it isn't, what if I'm pregnant and I have to have this baby?" I questioned sadly.
"Then I take care of you and the baby, we'll figure it out'." He mumbled calmly.
"But what if I don't make it..." I mumbled, "Or what if Im not pregnant and something else is wrong with me."
"I ain't thinkin' like that." He shook his head.
"Saint—"
"I said no Khalil, seriously—ion even wanna put that shit inna' air." He said sternly.
"Okay but we need to have that conversation, because apparently this is happening, what are you gonna do if the baby makes it and I don't?" I asked again.
He sighed and looked over at me before speaking, "What would you want me to do, what I'm supposed to do without you?" He asked.
"I'd want you to take care of our child..." I told him lowly, "Regardless of what it is now—and how I feel about it now, when the time comes that I have to give birth if that child makes it, I want you to give it everything it takes to take care of it." I spoke.
"We both gon take care of it." He stated, coming to a park inside of the garage of his house.
I left it alone after that, my head was starting to hurt again, and I didn't really wanna think about the situation any longer.
The dent that being pregnant made in all of my plans was going to send me over the fucking edge. The three months of planning to save up so we could leave the city came to a screeching halt.
As usual, Saint helped me out of the car and into the house, even more gently than before which I didn't think was possible
He ran a bath and helped me wash, catering to my every need and want up until cuddling with me on the bed.
He only left my side when he had to cook, and even then, I was the reason he was even doing so.
It was when I was alone and lying in bed that everything really came crashing down on me.
I was pregnant, I was about to be someone's parent.
That or I could die, but either way my life's changing forever.
Accidental pregnancies were something I completely ruled out of my life—now it was the one thing that had changed it.
I was aware Saint and I didn't use protection like we maybe should've, but my only concern was diseases—and I knew we both were clean of that, the thought of pregnancy didn't cross my mind.
Why would it?
My thoughts came to an end when Saint walked in with a plate on a wooden platter thing.
He told me he was cooking something light on the stomach, which I trusted him about since he knew a lot about food and all that.
As cautiously as I could, I sat up against the headboard and watched as he gently placed the platter on my lap.
"Thank you.."I spoke, stealing a quick kiss on his cheek.
He ended up turning to kiss my lips in response to that.
What he cooked was white rice and grilled chicken, which was perfect because I thought something too strong would make me throw up again, and I was tired of throwing up.
"Are you gonna eat?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Yeah, after you're done." He spoke, placing the glass of ice water on the nightstand near the bed.
I nodded at then began to slowly eat my food, Saint disappeared back into the kitchen but returned by the time I was finished to pick up everything.
It was nice to actually get some food in my stomach without throwing up, and it was clear I needed it—because it wasn't too much longer that I had fallen asleep.
Eventually, I felt Saint climb in next to me, having showered and eaten now.
His hand rubbed gently circles across my stomach, soothing the uncomfortable feeling, and warming me as I enjoyed comfortable sleep for the first time in a week.
When I woke up, the clock read 10 a.m., which explains the fact that Saint was still in bed.
He didn't usually wake up until 12 minimum, so I made sure to be very careful as I exited the bed, just not to wake him accidentally, he needed the sleep.
After using the restroom quickly, I eyed myself in the mirror and ran my hand over my stomach.
Of course, there was still no change, it was just crazy to think that it would eventually.
I ended up lying comfortably on the couch as I flipped through the TV aimlessly. What I did come across was the news, which oddly enough was covering a story about a missing baby stolen from the local hospital—which was what Ms.Eve was telling us about.
All I could do was shake my head at that, what creepy, sick, and perverted reason did someone have for stealing babies?
"Angel?" I heard Saint call out.
"In here!" I replied, hearing his heavy footsteps shortly after.
"Good morning." I smiled, watching him walk over to me.
"Good Mornin' how you feel?" He asked, meeting me for a quick peck on the lips before speaking.
"Same as yesterday I guess, I'm less nauseous though," I told him.
That's good at least..." he spoke, "are you hungry?"
"No I'm fine right now—I've gotta call my job and I guess quit though..." I sighed.
"I can't go up there in my current condition, and then once I start showing—or if at least, I definitely won't be able to work," I spoke.
"Yeah nah, you ain't doin' that." He stated, shaking his head.
"you'll be lucky if I let you go outside." He added.
"Let? I'm not your pet sir." I shot back, raising my eyebrow.
"Khalil don't play wit' me, I'm not risking nothing, not while you're like this, not if this whole situation is true.." he stated.
"So I'm just on house arrest for 9 months?" I asked in disbelief.
"To keep you safe, yeah.." he spoke.
"But imma' be right here witchu'.." he told me.
Yeah, until he has to leave for 'work' then I'm just stuck here—I'm gonna lose my mind.
I frowned at that and slouched on the couch silently, something that made him speak up.
"Don't be like that." He mumbled lowly, leaning down to look at me with a side smile.
"I'm gonna go crazy..." I groaned.
"You won't, I got everything you could want in here—WiFi, a TV, food.." he shot back, causing me to laugh.
"Shut up," I giggled, slapping his chest playfully.
"Nah I'm serious, I can even getchu' a lil ps5–if you into yo' gamer shit like that." He smirked, placing his arms on each side of me to lean in for a kiss.
"I actually wouldn't mind that," I smirked, meeting him for the kiss.
We enjoyed the kisses for a couple of seconds, both missing the feeling of touching each other since we'd been deprived of it when I got 'sick'.
"I do gotta handle some shit today though—I got the call this morning." He told me.
"When?" I asked, pouting.
"Imma have to leave in 'bout an hour, and I won't get back till some time this evening, but imma check up on you every hour." He told me.
"Oh, that's a long time. I told him lowly.
"I know, but it's important baby—you know I wouldn't leave you if it wasn't." He told me.
Which was true, if he felt like I needed him, he wouldn't leave no matter what, I knew that.
"Plus—check this out," he spoke, pulling out his phone
I watched as he put his password in and then clicked on some surveillance app.
"I got the shit set up a lil bit before I met you—but basically, it's a camera on each end of the house, that gives us four." He explained, clicking through
"Why have you never shown me this, wow," I spoke breathlessly as I looked on.
"I thought it would stress you out—but now I feel like it's good for you, that way you know I'm always watching—and you'll be able to see outside and shit once I set it up for you." He explained.
"How much was this?" I asked.
"I built it myself, just had to buy the cameras, then I had to wire it in and shit—it was easier than it sounds though." He waved off.
I looked at him as if he was crazy, because he was saying all that like it was a basic skill.
"ok...I feel a little bit better." I told him, "still wish you could stay, but I get it."
He placed a kiss on my lips after that, before leaning up and speaking, "I'll be back before ya know it." He told me.
I smiled at that, and moments later he disappeared to prepare for his day.
When he returned, he placed one last kiss on my lips before leaving the house, promising his return.
"be safe..." I told him, allowing my fingers to glide across his face as our kiss ended.
"always." He replied,
Moments later he exited the house, locking up securely behind him.
After taking a second to let my truck warm-up, I drove off, trying to make whatever Saduj had planned for me as quick as possible.
He sounded kinda serious over the phone, which I guess was necessary, 'cause had I felt like he was bullshittin' I wouldn't have left the house.
It's winter time now, so it gets dark pretty quickly, now that Khalil and I knew what we knew, no matter how crazy it may sound—I didn't wanna risk shit.
More than ever, I needed money—and more than ever, I needed him protected.
I know he still wanted out of the city, which im down for—it's just now our circumstances changed.
If we really did have a baby on the way, I gotta stack up a lot more money than usual.
It was just crazy to think about this entire situation, the fact that it was possible I was about to be a dad—I was trying to play it cool for Khalil, but inside, I was trippin' just as much as he was.
I didn't want kids, ever, and though I told him that—I'm not gonna keep emphasizing it, that's the last thing he needed to hear.
I just don't think I'll be a good parent, especially since I ain't have the best example.
Ion wanna mess my kid up...and I know I'm not the best role model either...it's just a lot of shit to think about.
Thankfully though, I wasn't able to do too much more thinking once I arrived at Sadujs place.
As usual, the guard nodded at me before stepping aside so I could walk in.
All the usual antics that went on inside of Saduj's house went on now.
Loud music, dancing women, and yes men ass niggas at every corner.
When I approached his office, his new right-hand man, Henric, looked up at me nervously before speaking, "Boss has been expecting you,—you can go on in."
I ignored his words and walked in, immediately being met with Saduj sitting on his desk, talking to some young nigga.
They didn't seem to be discussing anything important, but the guy Saduj was talking to looked no older than twenty.
Saduj had a habit of 'hiring' younger niggas, they were wild—they never asked questions, and they were just desperate to make some bread.
This was probably just another instance of that...
"Ah, Red!" He spoke, standing to his feet.
"This is who I was telling you about—guys a monster, if I ever have a problem, he handles it," Saduj spoke, smiling as he walked over to me.
The other guy only nodded, eyes wide as Saduj talked.
I'm pretty sure he was intimidated, I'm reading that off-rip—and that was fine with me, if he was intimidated, that meant he wouldn't try shit.
"Watchu need?" I asked, looking over at Saduj, cutting the small talk short.
I was serious about making this shit quick so I could get back home.
"Ah see—all about business!" Saduj laughed, looking over at his new prospect.
"Okay I'll cut to the chase." He nodded, "This is Raphael—he moved down here with his aunt." Saduj explained.
"I've had him working for me down in Miami for a bit but he's back now—and I want him to shadow you on a mission today." He stated.
I raised an eyebrow in confusion as I spoke, "nah—I ain't babysitting." I stated.
Those words were ironic as fuck given my circumstances, but seriously, I ain't babysitting nobody but my own kid.
"Red it's not like that—I can assure you—he can handle himself" Saduj defended as I looked over at the Raphael guy.
"—it's just that for the particular task I have planned for you tonight, there'd be no better way for him to learn than this," Saduj explained.
"—you know after Jermaine died I've been struggling to find good workers Red, we need this man." He sighed.
Again I stayed silent as I looked between them.
"what's the pay?" I asked.
"I got twenty-five racks for you if you get this shit done." He nodded.
With a sigh I ultimately gave in, which prompted Saduj to smile widely.
"Perfect, listen—it shouldn't even take you too long, just a quick assassination.
"I'll send over all the details, to both of you, just let me know when you arrive." He nodded.
I stayed silent as I ultimately began leaving the office, which led the new guy to follow behind me.
"we're taking yo' car." I told him.
"That's a bet." He relied simply, walking ahead of me.
By this point, the money was the only thing on my mind—and I'd have to keep it there just to remember why I was doing any of this shit.
Once we came across what I'm assuming was this Raphael man's car, I took my seat in the passenger seat as he took his seat in the front.
The weirdest thing about this was the fact it smelled familiar, like a perfume or some shit.
I guess he could tell I was confused, cause he spoke up after that.
"Yeah this my aunt shit," he stated, "I'm tryna get my own whip tomorrow." He chuckled.
Doing business in ya aunt's car is crazy, but I didn't care about him enough to give much of a fuck, nor did I know her.
My silence once again led him to speak up, this time with an amused chuckle to his words.
"bro you really don't speak." He stated.
I only blinked at him, expecting him to continue speaking since it was clear he liked to talk.
"you don't even wanna pretend to get to know ya' new partner, we gotta trust each other and shit y'know." He nodded
"ain't work out well for my last one" I mumbled.
He tucked his lips for a moment then spoke, "aight I get it, bro, I don't want no problems."
Finally, he let the silence take over but by this point, I did kinda wanna know whose car I was in.
For safety reasons...
"what's ya aunt's name?" I questioned, finally speaking.
"Why?" He questioned.
"cause I asked that's why." I shot back, looking over at him with my normal expression.
He looked apprehensive, but still decided to tell me, "Evelyn."
☯︎ 𝖍𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 ☯︎
sorry for any errors !