𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗮
𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲
𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿.
mentions of abuse, neglect, ED and self harm
nothing extremely detailed but it
is mentioned by name. please remember
to practice self care before, during, and
after reading. i love yall <3. please know
you are never alone ml.
【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】
𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘇 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻.
she never was.
she preferred to handle things with her hands or her temper.
her favorite way to handle things was a bottle of whatever she got her hands on.
i mean vanessa wasn't always bad, she used to be pretty nice but when mateo left she changed.
i was five years old at the time.
i sat on the couch every night waiting for him to come home. but he never came.
vanessa never told me exactly what happened, then again she never really talked to me at all.
i learned quickly that asking would result in a smack or worse.
"he left because we weren't good enough, you weren't good enough".
is what i got when i asked the first time.
i was 6.
she was sad about it. but when she was angry it was worse.
i never knew he was off two towns away with a new family.
but vanessa did. she knew all about his new life.
a new wife, new stepkids, and even a set of his own twins.
i was 7 when she found out.
she had began to get more aggressive with me.
leave bigger brusies.
ones that a seven year old girl had to learn how to cover.
it was around this time i had met rissa.
the girl who would become my guardian angel.
riss and i clicked instantly on the playground one day, bonding over our shared love for anything barbie.
but at seven years old riss didnt know any better than i did.
it wasn't until i turned 10 that vanessa escalated her behavior towards me out of anger that i looked like mateo.
10 year old me hated that i looked like mateo.
or maybe i just hated that she hated it.
vanessa had been spiraling for a while at that point.
she would send me to bed without dinner most nights and to school without breakfast in the mornings.
i learned quickly just how little i could live off of, a bad habit that haunted me till this day.
vanessa didnt care what i did.
as long as i never told a soul what happened between the four walls of the house younger me called home.
it still made me wince to this day when i remembered the words the woman who was supposed to be my mother said to me.
it was a little after my 10th birthday when i first started hurting myself.
at first it hurt and i didnt like it.
but the words vanessa had said to me echoed in my mind.
making me do it again.
and again.
and again.
and again.
until both my arms were red.
the next day at school i was miserable.
fresh brusies and my arms sore and agitated by the clothes i was wearing.
rissa noticed.
so she did what little 10 year olds do when their concerned.
she told on me.
to shelby, who told mama s and marc, who called cps on vanessa.
the cps case was the worst part.
they tried to reach out to mateo, but he never picked up.
even at 10 years old, five years after he left and started his new life i still hoped my dad would come back for me.
but he never did.
which is when the kents came into the picture.
riss and i had been best friends for 3-4 years.
i had met mama s and marc multiple times, slept over at their house, and became comfortable around them.
more comfortable than i had ever been around my own parents.
once 10-year-old alessia was told her papa wasn't coming to get her, she started bawling
before even really talking about it marc spoke up and said they would take me in.
marc hugged me so tight as i cried while i had to talk about everything vanessa did to me.
"nothings ever gonna hurt you again kid, i promise" macus kent promised me that day.
and he never did break that promise.
the case went to court and vanessa was sentenced with 10 years just on the physical proof alone.
if i had made a statement it would've been longer.
10 year old me refused.
she was too scared to say anything.
after that i moved in with the kents.
everything got better for the most part.
yet, i could never erase the words vanessa had said to me.
i didn't stop hurting myself until shelby caught me and told her parents
i didnt blame her, i knew she was scared and it was to help me.
the help i had been to scared to ask for.
mama s got me into therapy soon after.
and it helped me a lot with everything.
all that hard work crumbled when she reached out two days ago.
i had been rotting in my room for two days.
i felt so little and helpless again.
i hate that little alessia is still hoping her mama had changed.
vanessa didn't deserve that hope.
i was laid curled in my weighted blanket and my lights off.
rotting away in paiges hoodie and some sweatpants.
my stomach stop growling yesterday around noon.
my body gave into the pit i was falling into.
the pit i didn't know how to get myself out of.
【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】
𝗯𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀!!!
PLEASE DONT HATE ME GUYS
i def cried re reading this help.
remember to practice self care
before,during and after reading
i love yall
MWAUH