It's been two weeks since Rafe found out about what really happened with Daniel. We talked for hours and everything is good. These two weeks had been the best, Rafe and I went on dates and got to know each other so much more than we already did.
When someone has the ability to control your actions they also have the power to ruin you. That's why, when handling your heart, you can never trust everyone. Daniel took advantage of the love I felt for him.
That love blinded me, I wasn't seeing things how they were. Things have happened that I will never forget. Abusive relationships are what they are and leave you traumatized.
I still had a part of Daniel inside of me, my anxiety. Any moment I felt in danger it would take over me, as sort of a deja vu.
I was lucky to have my friends to help me in that period of time. Everything was dark for me, I kept feeling like he wanted the best for me and that I was in the wrong. A part of me wanted to believe that if he loved me as much as he had stated he never meant anything he did. Of course, that feeling was all an illusion.
Either way, now I had a boyfriend who would never dare to touch me, that's all that mattered. Rafe's reaction was something that I will never forget, the look on his face was as if somebody had shot him. I could see the rage building inside of him as I explained the truth to him, what Topper hadn't already told him.
I was glad Topper was the one to tell him, to be honest, I wanted to tell Rafe the truth so bad but it's so hard to unpack something that haunts you to this day to someone who you know will die for you.
I saw him push that rage away to be there for me and I just knew that while that part of my life was over with, it was still part of my story. Now Rafe is in my story, but every new chapter needs to know what happened in the previous one. He deserved to know.
With all of that said I had agreed with Rafe to not bring it up. I didn't want to think back to those months, they were over with and that was all that mattered to me.
______________
"What are you going to wear for the tub party?" Sarah asked me. We were at my house getting ready for a party Jj and John B had organized at the Chateau. Jj had just bought a hot tub with god knows what money and he wanted to make its first use extra special. So he and John B organized a mini party just for us, us being me, Sarah, Pope, Jj, John B, and Kiara.
"I don't really know, probably the pink bikini we bought together on the mainland the other day," I told Sarah.
"The one with the beads?" Sarah asked me, and I nodded.
"Ok, can I borrow this bikini?" She asked me holding up a white triangle bikini.
"Of course, babes but hurry, we're going to be late," I said at which she nodded like a little kid. I put on the pink bikini I was talking about, it had an extra long tie and blue, yellow, and green beads on each side of my waist and in the middle of the top.
I put on one of Rafe's shirts as a cover-up but quickly changed as I remembered that Jj and John B still didn't know about him. I had told Kie and Sarah and Pope already knew, but I followed Sarah's instructions to not tell John B and Jj.
Instead, I simply put on a pair of jean shorts and figured I didn't need a shirt since these were the outer banks.
Sarah and I drove to the cut with my car and there we met up with everyone. "Hey party people," Sarah yelled to everyone who was already in the hot tub.
"I see you didn't wait for us," I said chuckling as I took my shorts off.
"Well, you guys are kooks so you've already been in a hot tub," Jj said.
"Kie here is technically a kook," Sarah said jokingly at which Kie made a face. I tilted my head at her with a confused look to ask her what was wrong.
"Got kicked out again," Kie told us.
"Shit Kie I'm sorry," I told her and hugged her.
"It's fine, I don't even care anymore," Kie told me which made me sad. Kiara's parents had kicked her out multiple times before, just because she hung out with Pogues. She would always come back after a few days and everything was back to normal but I was so sad to see her parent's bond with her be so broken.
The party went on and soon everyone was drinking and fooling around. "Omg, I know what we should do!" Kiara yelled.
"Spill," I said with a pushy voice.
"Truth or Dare!" she said and I was slightly disappointed, we do it every single time we hang out so it gets boring easily.
"I'm down," Pope said, and quickly everyone agreed so I gave in.
"Sarah! Truth or dare?" Kie asked Sarah. "Truth," Sarah answered.
"Who's better in bed? Topper or John B?" Kiara asked and everyone laughed.
"Guys, that's my best friend you're talking about, can we not?" I told them with a chuckle.
"John B, but that's because Topper and I never did it," Sarah said and everyone but me was shocked. "Are you hinting that he would have been better-" John B tried to say before I interrupted him. "Shut up B," I said and he nodded.
"John B truth or dare?" Sarah asked. "Dare," John B answered. "I dare you to lap dance Pope," Sarah said and we laughed hysterically. It's weird for his girlfriend to tell him to do that but that's just who Sarah is.
"Oooohhh," Me and Jj said. John B laughed and made his way to Pope. Pope stood up and shook his head. "Not happening," he said as everyone made a sound of fake disappointment.
"Come on don't be a pussy," Jj said and Pope glared at him before everyone laughed. "Sorry not sorry," Pope said and shrugged his shoulders.
"Okay, well, Lillian truth or dare?" John B asked me.
"Dare, obviously" I answered.
"I dare you to kiss Jj," John B said and the smile on my face dropped.
"Not happening," I said and I saw Jj's smile fade.
"Lil, you never skip out on dares," John B said.
"Well, I'm skipping this one," I said. I had a boyfriend, there's no way I was going to kiss Jj.
"Unless you have an explanation you have to do the dare," John B said. "You literally didn't do yours," I told him. "My explanation was that Pope didn't want to," John B said and I rolled my eyes.
Tension was in the air, John B was pushing it and Jj wasn't stopping him. "John B stop please, she said she doesn't want to, so she doesn't it's no big deal," Sarah told John B. "No Sarah, it's a pogue rule that you can't say no to a dare," John B said.
"Jj, can you say no, please? For me?" I tried to convince him. He stayed silent. What? Why? Couldn't he just do this one thing for me? I told him I didn't want to but he didn't give a fuck.
"Lillian, just tell us why you don't want to kiss him!" John B said.
"Because I have a boyfriend!" I blurted out. Shit. Fuck. Why did I say that?
"You what?" Jj asked me, sadness in his eyes. "Who?" Jj asked me demandingly.
"It's none of your business," I told him. He was literally getting mad at me for that. What the fuck?
"Lillian just tell them," Kiara told me. I could sense drama but they couldn't say anything about who I choose or not choose to date.
"Rafe. Rafe is my boyfriend. Are you happy?" I yelled.
"What. The. Fuck?" Jj asked me.
"Shit," John B said, he had just realized what a mess he had made.
"Lillian, are you fucking stupid? Rafe is just trying to get in your pants. He doesn't even like you, bro. You're so fucking stupid. It's just going to end up like it did with Daniel and we are going to have to take care of you again. Get a fucking brain, he's just using you for sex," Jj yelled at me.
Each word cut in deeper like a knife. I looked at him with disgust in my eyes and I could see the regret in his. "Lil, I didn't mean that," he tried to tell me but I just shook my head.
"Shut up Jj, I thought you wanted what's best for me, I really did. I am so happy with him, he treats me so well and you just come here and think that you know everything about my relationship. You don't know shit. Oh and thank you John B for never respecting personal boundaries." I said as I got out and took my car keys.
I heard Jj call me but just ignored it, I also heard Sarah, Kiara, and Pope yelling at Jj and John B. I got in my car and drove away, as soon as they couldn't see me tears came to my eyes. I couldn't believe that the person whom I considered my best friend would say these things to me. Did they really think I was an Idiot?
I drove to Rafe's because I didn't want to be alone. I opened the door and went to his room. I knocked on the door.
"Come in!" I heard him say. I went in and as soon as he saw me entering, with puffy red eyes he ran over to me.
"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked with a concerned tone. He held my cheeks with his hands.
"It's a long story, can we just cuddle please?" I told him. I didn't want to tell him what actually went down as I felt like he would overreact and do something bad to Jj.
"We will cuddle when you tell me who the fuck made you cry Lillian," Rafe asked me, starting to get defensive.
"Rafe, I'm telling you I'm fine can we just watch a movie or something?" I asked him more tears coming to my eyes.
"Love, you can't come to my house crying and expect me to be fine without an explanation. Please just tell me what happened," Rafe asked me.
"Fine, but promise you won't get mad," I asked.
"If there's no need for me to be mad then I won't," Rafe said and I chuckled, he was so stubborn.
"Well, I was with the pogues and we were playing truth or dare. John B dared me to kiss Jj and of course, I refused. He kept pushing me so I said that I had a boyfriend and that it was you and then Jj went on a rant about how you only want me for sex, how you don't care about me, and about how stupid I am to be with you." I told him and he intensively clenched his jaw.
"Then I told him how happy you make me and sent him to hell. Now I'm here," I told him.
"Jj said what?" Rafe asked me with a very mad voice.
"He said fucking what?" he repeated.
"This asshole is getting taught a lesson tonight," Rafe said before storming out of his room.
Fuck.
Notes from the Author:
Ohhhh Lillian is about to see phsyco Rafe!!! I sense dramaaaa
Sorry for not being very active I was in vacation!!
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Love you all so much! X