After a second, Peter pulled away from me and took the moment in. Standing amid the loud crowd, I knew a million questions were running through his head just as they had run through mine. Yet he asked none of them aloud and just waited. He waited for me to make the next move, almost as if he was scared I would force him away again.
So I made the next move. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" he asked, the shock seeping through his voice.
"I should have given you the chance to explain yourself, just as I had promised I would," I looked around, suddenly aware of all of the people around us, and wondered if we should even be standing here discussing this. "I want to give you that chance. Maybe we could talk over dinner or something?"
Peter nodded, reaching for my hand. "Why don't you come to my apartment?"
I agreed, and we made our way toward his old home. Even though I had not been there in years, that path to his home still seemed like second nature to me; like how you never forget your way to an old spot you would always meet your friends, no matter how long it had been since the last time you'd been there or seen those people. And suddenly, I was no longer thinking about the pain that the end of high school had brought me, and I was reminded of the good memories and the joy that I had experienced.
"You know, Aunt May has missed you a lot," Peter said as we reached the apartment building and began making our way up the stairs.
I smiled, "I've missed her as well. You're aunt May was always the best."
"Yeah, well, it looks like I can bring my favorite women back together," he said, before opening the door.
I raised an eyebrow, "I'm really one of your favorite women?"
"Is that really a question?" He asked.
I laughed, "I guess not."
We stepped into the apartment, and I was immediately overwhelmed by nostalgia. Photos of the family still sat on the mantel above the fireplace. Some were newer, adventures that May and Peter had gone on the last five years, but others I could still remember being taken. Like one of five-year-old Peter and I on our very first day of kindergarten with big cheesy smiles and bright-colored outfits. Next to it sat a picture of Peter, Gwen, Harry, and me at graduation with big eyes set on our futures. There was one of Ben and Peter on Peter's 10th birthday right before Peter blew out the candles so his cheeks were full of air. All along that mantel sat physical proof of Peter and I's friendship, and how close we were throughout our younger years. And here I was looking at these pictures longing for those days again.
I was so focused on the pictures, that I didn't even notice Peter slip out to greet his Aunt in the kitchen. And when I heard her quiet, motherly voice from the entryway, I almost burst into tears as I saw her. I ran into her open arms, pulling her into the biggest hug I could muster without feeling like I was going to break her tiny body.
"Oh, y/n, it is so good to see you," she whispered to me as we pulled away, giving a glance toward Peter. "I had heard that you and Peter had begun to make amends, and I was hoping I'd be able to see you again."
"Of course," I smiled, tears welling in my eyes. "I missed seeing you practically every day."
"Well, please, remember you are always welcome here even if you and this one are arguing. You're practically one of my own." She paused and glanced at Peter, "I'm almost done with dinner if you two want to get situated. Peter, would you help me set the table?"
Peter quickly got to work setting out three plates and sets of silverware. I slowly made my way over to the table, still admiring all of the pictures and decor around the apartment. It really hadn't changed much in the past five years, which almost made it worse. The clash of good and bad memories made it hard for me to focus on why I was even here: to move past and start something new with Peter.
May served us all a good helping of spaghetti and prayed for us before we all began to chow down on our food. Peter of course was the first to finish, because of his fast metabolism, but also because I was more focused on my conversation with May than on my food. Once I finished, Peter and I cleared the table and washed the dishes. May disappeared leaving the two of us alone.
As Peter finished drying the last of the dishes, I hopped up on the counter.
He looked at me from across the kitchen, and smiled, leaning against the fridge. "So..."
"So."
Silence.
I looked down at my hands, suddenly nervous. I wanted Peter. I knew that much. But also I wanted an explanation. I wanted to know why he decided to involve himself in my life after so many years. Why even if the first couple nights had been accidents, he kept coming back even after he knew that I hated him. And I wanted to know why he fell in love with me despite how obviously he knew I didn't even want to be his friend.
"It feels so nice to see you sitting there again," Peter says, breaking the silence. "Remember how many times I would pace and rant while you would sit on the counter eating whatever you could find in the fridge."
I nodded. This very kitchen held so many memories. Most of Peter worries about asking out girls or practicing memorizing weird scientific facts. I would have spent my entire life on this counter if May had let me.
"Peter..." I nudged, trying to get him back on the real reason we were here.
He sighs, "I know. I'm stalling. I'm just worried as soon as I start talking you're going to remember why you pushed me out just days ago. That the adrenaline of traveling worlds is going to finally wear off and you're just going to walk away and out of my life."
"I won't," I assured, reaching my hand out for his as he stepped closer. "It was smart to bring me here you know. It reminded me of all the good times we had together. Things that I had let myself forget because of the bad. I don't think I could leave again without regretting it."
"Yeah, May was devastated when I told her that we were no longer friends. She wasn't lying when she said you were one of her own. I mean you're in as many pictures as I am that are laying around this house."
Peter stops himself, leaning his hand on the counter next to me. He looks deep into my eyes, searching for something. He places a small kiss on my hand and then begins to speak again.
"Alright... explanation..." he stares into my eyes. "Here it goes. Like I said that first night was a complete accident. I mean you saw how I was when I crashed into your door, I was barely conscious. Then the next day when I was late to class after dropping off flowers at Gwen's grave, I tour out your stitching and I had no one else to go to but you. I swore to myself that I wasn't going to stop by again, but then I saw the pictures you had of us from high school, and I realized just how much I missed your friendship. And I felt so much regret for letting you go. So I wanted to make sure you were okay, that maybe if you were doing better without me in your life I could live without you knowing you were happy.
"Then I could tell that that pain still ate at you, and I felt bad for even reminding you of it. But that day after I brought you flowers, I couldn't stay away. Being around you has always been so intoxicating to me. You bring me so much joy and so much life, that when I'm not around you all I can think about is when I can see you again.
"I started to fantasize about our life if I hadn't pushed you away after Gwen's death. How I would have told you about me being Spiderman, and we could have been a team. Working together to fight crime; me out in the field defeating the bad guys, and you safe at home fixing me up if I needed. Just us together as friends. And somehow amid those fantasies and stopping in on you every week, I found myself no longer thinking of you as just a friend. I was falling. Fast.
"When I took you to the Empire State Building, I hoped I could see if you felt the same. Not only Spiderman, but maybe you could forgive Peter, and actually... I don't know... rebuild our friendship. What I could not have foretold was that you'd make a move on me first," Peter paused. Looking at me with complete and utter love.
I smiled back, leaning my head against his shoulder. "I couldn't have foretold it myself."
"Regardless I had no idea what to do at that point, and I knew I couldn't see you again as Spiderman until I had figured it out. And then you did something even more unexpected, you actually reached out to me. But I couldn't hold in my emotions when I was with you. Watching you regain your trust, while I stood by hopelessly in love.
"When we crashed into each other at the skateboard park that had been the last straw for me. We were so close, almost as close as we had been when you kissed me the first time. Except this time you didn't see your new love, you saw you're ex-best friend. And so I ran. I ran here, and realized that I could no longer keep my secret."
I sighed. Of course. That day at the skate park I had almost forgotten, even though it had only occurred three hours before Peter had told me the truth. I remembered now the unknown sparkle I had seen in Peter's eyes. How familiar it had seemed, even though I hadn't actually seen it totally directed at me.
"I just want you to know, that if I had been smart about it, I would have told you before. I would have made sure you knew what you were getting into before I had let it go any further. But by god, y/n, I just can't stay away from you."
I shook my head, "And I can't stay away from you. No matter how hard I try, fate just won't let me."
"So what do you say?" Peter asked.
"About what?"
Peter laughed, "Us... what do we do?"
"I think we give it a shot. If there is anything I've learned the past couple of days, you never know when tomorrow might be your last. And I'm willing to take that chance."
For the second time that day, I grabbed Peter by the collar and pulled him into me. This time there was no tension, no fear left. It was just Peter and me as the world faded away, and I let the taste of him become the only thing I felt. Slowly he pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine as we breathed.
"I think I'm willing to take this chance too."
Just as the words left his mouth, I heard a gasp come from the entryway, and we both whipped our heads around to see May staring at us with her mouth dropped. Peter moved away from me but did not let go of my hand as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Peter Benjamin Parker, do not speak, let me take this in," May interrupted her nephew. "Are the two of you really together?"
I nodded, squeezing Peter's hand. "I think so."
I jumped off the counter, as May bombarded me with another hug. "Oh finally. You know, I always told your mother I thought there was something more between the two of you than you would ever admit."
"May..." Peter groaned, obviously embarrassed.
She nudged him in the side, before walking to the freezer to pull out a large tub of ice cream. "Dessert to celebrate?"
A/N - y'all as much as I love Peter, every version of Aunt may has been and will always be my favorite character in every iteration of the Spiderman story. She's just so cute and cool and I love her. I would die a happy woman if she was my aunt.
Anyways, enough of me fangirling, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing it. Don't forget to comment and vote! Love you all, have a great day!