"I need to do this Alex! Not even you can change my mind. That's final!."
This hell of a place is getting into my nerves. I can't help but to bit my lips. Did my father knocked his head somewhere grounds? Why the fuck would i marry my sister's husband? I loved Kairon but that was before for fuck sake.
"Ijah sundin mo nalang ang daddy mo. Di na rin naman iba satin ang mga Tan. This is the only way anak."
I walked my way to the terrace of my dad's library in our house. I caressed the bridge of my nose before looking at her.
"Mom, i'd been an ass for years. I can't marry the husband of my sister. I'd been paying bills for heartaches and now you want me to marry him?! I love my sister! What the hell are you guys thinking, seriously!."
Andami ko ng atraso sa kapatid ko. I can't marry him. Fuck, Liyan what should i do? I'm not like you who say yes for everything. Now, how would i handle this mess na iniwan mo?
"Alex....i knew you don't like the idea of marrying me. I love your sister Alex....ayokong masayang ang pinaghirapan niya, nila ng daddy mo."
I looked at Kairon, he's full of hope. I knew she love my sister, his family. Can you see this Liyan? You made him fall for you like this. I clicked my tongue.
"You knew my situation Kairon. Fuck, man that would be awkward." i chuckled. I really don't think it would be a great idea to be with him.
"I know, but i'm doing this for my son , Alex. I can't let him grow without a mother figure." he said while convincing me with his eyes.
"A mother figure? You're really crazy. You call my whole being a mother figure when i have a dick longer than you?" I stared at him but we end up laughing eachother. He knew my situation. He's the closest person of mine eversince we were still studying.
Just thinking of me loving him back then , it's giving me chills fuck. Naisip ko rin naman yun. I can't just stay a foolish engineer while my nephew is suffering without a mother that could guide him.
"Fine, you dimwit." i said that made him chuckled.
"Now, read and sign this papers." , my eyes landed at the paper he was holding. Do we still need a contract? This damn doctor.
"Kilala na kita Alex. Para lang makasigurado noh. Sign here para wala tayong problema, pero basahin mo muna ha baka magdelaryo ka nanaman sakin jan."
"Do we really need to be sweet with eachother? Kadiri ka." I said while gawking at him. He just smirk, oh c'mon i would love to erase that smirk of yours moron.
"Isipin mo nalang ang taong mahal mo pag magiging sweet ka sakin. It's just an act that we both need Alex." he said while sipping his wine.
"I will never love, Kai. I'm done with that shit." i smirked at him but he just nodded with a smirk on his face. Bakit ko ba naging kaibigan to?
"Okay, that settles everything."
We arranged a civil wedding. For the first 5 months of our marriage, it's actually great. We act like a couple in public and i took care of Andrix. He's such a baby, naalala ko ang kapatid ko sa mukha niya.
How should i describe our sister relationship? I'd been giving her a cold shoulder eversince before, and i knew she was thinking that maybe it was because of Kairon. Well, as what i said, i loved Kairon first before even though we both have a dick intact with our body and he knew about my feelings for him.
It's not because of me loving him that's why i avoid her. I just don't like to be around with a person who stays like a dog and do the hell whatever my father tells her to do. I didn't mind correcting her false idea regarding my feelings towards her husband, and we're not that pretty close for a sister.
She's the angel of the family, the eldest, the kindest while me? I'm the total opposite of her, a foolish, a blacksheep, a walking time bomb. I have so many different personalities that my sister never know about. It was me, concealing my true self and i love that shit.
I just did this kind of act because i want to apologize to her. I had never been a good sister, if only i helped her, maybe just maybe she would never think of committing suicide. I really felt bad for Andrix. It gives me more reason to accept this kind of offer.
I roamed my eyes to my sister's room. It's full of books. My sister love to keep and write peoms. I slide my fingtertips to the shelf. My gazes went down to the book that seems to be new.
Reckless Escapade??
Napakunot ang noo ko nang tingnan ito. I scanned the pages. I almost choked by my own saliva after reading the last page with my name on it. What? Since when did i acquire such book? I cannot be mistaken, it's really my name at the last page.
Confusedly walking my way outside. I'm still thinking. Why did she wrote something like this? I bit my lower lips before gazing at my phone when it vibrated.
"Engineer Roa nasan ka?"
"why?" i said while putting the book in the shelf of my room.
"Could you please check the building of the address that i sent in your email. We have plans for that one and i want you to check it if it's suitable for child and development center."
Napakunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. He's also a Head Engineer in other department of our company, like me. When did dad gave him the right to command me?
"Are you commanding me right now?" I said while tapping my steering wheel. I need books for my project, i must go to the mall.
"C'mon Alex, this is a big project and i'm saying this on behalf of your dad. You can submit your complains la--" i drop the call. He's too noisy for a man. I rolled my eyes before starting the engine.
I don't mind the stares that people gave me as soon as i entered the mall. I immediately walked myself in the bookstore. I find myself searching for books in the second floor.
I was busy searching for books when i felt a stare. She flinched when i called her creep.What is she doing? She creeped me out seriously. I looked at her back when she tried herself to reached for the book. I want to laughed at her but i must remain like this.
She's a lil short for my height. I helped her get her book. It's poetic of space. Well, i commend her taste for books. I smirked when i intentionally, let go of the book while looking at her eyes. I want to annoy her.
"I slipped." I said and left her standing. I chuckled upon remembering her face. She's beautiful, her small face, sexy body, her cute siz-- fuck what the hell? I slapped myself gently when i get inside my car. What are you thinking Alex?
"Alex c'mon, just try my offer! I want you in my University."
I heaved a sigh before looking at Lian. She's really getting into my nerves. She's one of my regular client and a friend of mine during college days. Till now she still never drop that professor thingy she offered.
"Look here Lian. I'm a busy person. I don't have time to be a professor." I said while reading the report in my office. I'm still have a problem right now. Bumababa ang stock namin and a lot of fucking investor withdraw their contract. These assholes thick face leech bastards.
I felt my phone vibrated, it's from Lajace. I bit my lower lip before answering his call. I leaned my head to my swivel chair while gesturing Lian to get out of my office.
"What?". I looked at my phone when i heard a chukled. The hell is wrong with this moron?
"Sexy naman magsalita ng beshy ko na yan."
I rolled my eyes because of what he said.
"Did you just call to annoy me? This bastard seriously." I heard him laugh and i also heard a different voice, it's coming exactly from Keziah.
"Chill ka lang Engineer masyado ka namang hot. Magbar daw tayong magbarkada sa makalawa. Make sure to vacant your time okie? Ciao."
Well i guess, i also need to drink. I really need it. I walked my way in the garage of our company. I need to visit the site. I felt my phone vibrated. It's coming from the architect that we hired.
"I did not hire you to slack off. I want the design to be done as possible." I firmly said while gazing at the building. Since when did the site become this tall?
"Anong design po ba gusto niyo." I looked at him. Well i've been thinking of making it look colorful for a child, a baby girl must like it.
"I want it to be full of Hello Kitty." I smiled at him before turning my back. I'm still have another appointment.
I don't know if the faith are just playing with me. That girl in the bookstore, she frequently appeared out of nowhere. From the jollibee , bar and in the Cafè, like seriously? I'm annoyed by her presence. I just don't like this kind of energy she's giving me.
"Alex this would be the last chance i'll ask you. Be one of my professors in CIU." I caressed my head before looking at Lian. Kailan niya ba'ko titigilan sa offer niya?
"My answer is still the same. I don't want to acce--." she cut me off.
"I'll invest in your company." she said that made me stopped from moving.
"When should i start teaching?." I said while getting my suit case. A smile immediately appeared in the corner of her lips. Fuck, she's really weird. I don't want to waste this, i know Lian well, she's a walking dollar.
I drove my way to our house. I just hope Kairon still there, i need to discuss this with him.
"Hey? Ang aga mo ata?"he said while fixing his neck tie. I immediately went to Andrix side and get him. I missed this kid, goodness.
"Kai, i'll work in CIU this coming Monday. I accepted Lian's offer to be one of her professors." I said while playing with Andrix. This kid is really my comfort.
"Okay. Magdagdag nalang ako ng nanny para mas matuunan ng pansin si Andrix. Busy rin kasi ako sa hospital eh." he said. I just looked at him walking his way infront of me and was about to give me a peck when i raised my fist infront of him.
"Asshole there's no one here." I said. He just laughed while getting Andrix. He really love to annoy the hell out of me.
"Arte talaga nito parang kiss lang ng magutol eh damot." I cussed because of what he said. He's really gross damn. I glared at him when he did not stop laughing. I just rolled my eyes before walking myself in my room.
I gracefully walked my way in the stage upon hearing my name. I almost spit my saliva after i saw Kazam and Alliyah in the stage. I also hear the name of Soline. Ilan ba kaming ni recruit ni Lian? And how could she manage convinced these 3 anaconda?
I just display my usual poker face. I'm infront of many stangers. I roamed my eyes in the gym when i met her eyes. She's a student here?? I mentally smirk after i saw her confused face while looking at me.
As the time passed by, I thought my stay inside the campus would be peaceful. Well, that was all i thought not until this girl named Cassidy Janea started to mess everything. When did she get the confidence to fool around? Especially in my watch as the professor.
"Kanina pa salubong yang kilay mo. Napano kaba jan? Wag kanga magsungit baka madamay pa ang anak ko sa kasungitan mo." i instantly glared at Kairon because of what he said. I'm in the veranda of our house. He's carrying Andrix beside me while grinning. This moron really.
I just rolled my eyes before sipping my wine. Ano bang meron sakanya? That woman. She's not a simple woman. I can't help but to cuss after remembering her face. I instantly hold the bottom part of my life. This dragon just woke up upon remembering her. Seriously Alex, hindi ka ganito. Stop yourself.
Without knowing, i just find myself smiling thinking the things she recklessly did for the past days. Geez, she's one of a kind foolish person like me.
I thought i'm already fine but i didn't know that it would also be the first stage of my suffering. I was already trying to move on from everything but then, the memories, the cries and pain of Liyan hunt me every night. I was being reminded by the mistakes and decisions that i made.
The thought of suffering goes on till the day that i locked myself to the idea of loving someone would just made your soul separated and destroyed. Every night, i was being reminded that i don't have the right to love. An idea was engraved into my brain that i don't deserve it at all. I don't deserve the hapiness.
I was being reminded again by the thought of loving me would just cause someone to suffer , and then again, i restrict myself. I was trying to avoid the things that may the reason for me to lose my sanity..........not until that thought was slowly destroyed by the person i didn't expect to have a bigger impact to my life.
I didn't thought that she would turn out to be
my serotonin that would heal the scars and holes in my soul.