Given that Taanab was close by Kashyyyk, the trip back to the forest planet would only take a couple hours. In those moments of peace, Cere thought long and hard about how she could find some way to speak with Y/n. She tried apologizing once, but the girl was stern and stubborn. She wasn't going to budge with a mere apology of her actions. Cere cared very much for Y/n, taking her in when she had no one in her life, other than the brutal fighting masters in the low Coruscant levels. When she had found Y/n, she was stuck in level 1997, where the slum of the galaxy festered. Now she was a beautiful young woman with a driving mind of her own.
Cere walked into the common area, finding Y/n there with the hologram of her father and her resting in her hands. Instead, this time, she wasn't watching it with sad, or even emotionless eyes. This time, she was smiling. Granted, it was a small smile, but even so. Cere felt something had changed in the way Y/n saw her father's death, or at least something happened that made her accept it more. Three years had passed since Cere got the news of Vosso Novar's death. She always knew him to be a good man, despite his gambling habit that ultimately led to his downfall.
Cere noticed that when she entered the room, Y/n put the hologram recording down and away in her pocket. She went to stand, but Cere put her hand up and said, "Please. I just want to talk."
"I really don't see how we have anything to talk about," Y/n responded, looking up at Cere with quiet fury.
"Well, I do," Cere retorted as she crossed her arms. "Look, I know you hate me. I know you think I tried to gain something by telling you Trilla was dead. But, Y/n, I care about you more than I should. When I got the message that your father had been killed, the only thing I could think of was you." Y/n managed to lessen the anger in her gaze, but instead looked at the caf table in front of her. "I wanted you to feel like there was light at the other end of this... dark tunnel, because there is. I might not have lost Trilla, you're right. But there are moments when... I wish I did."
Y/n met Cere's eyes once more, slightly widening her own in surprise. Cere sighed, saying, "If Trilla had been killed, she would be spared the suffering she is going through now. And it is all because of me. I should've been killed in that torture chair, not Trilla. They took her and turned her into the Second Sister while I managed to escape."
Y/n looked away for a moment, hesitating before saying, "Cere, I don't hate you. I mean, I could never really hate you." Cere looked up, hope dancing in her heart. "I just wish you didn't tell me she had died. I know the pain you endured was- By the light, I can't even comprehend how it must have been. But it all feels like you were trying to gain something from me after learning my father was dead."
"I swear to you, Y/n. I would never try to do that, especially not after realizing what your mother had done," Cere told her, sitting down beside the girl.
"Look, Cere," Y/n began as she sat up straighter, "I'm not forgiving you yet. A year's worth of this lie is more than just a secret kept between two people. It's a breach of trust. But, I also know that we can't waste time on our anger. I don't know if this is some of your random Jedi teachings rubbing off on me, but focusing on this isn't going to get us anywhere right now. Especially since the Empire is right on our tail."
Cere nodded her head in understanding of Y/n's words, but she was grateful that she was taking her anger out of the equation. "We'll discuss this more when you get back from seeing Tarfful," she said, and Y/n was the first to get up and walk out of the room.
Y/n went back into the engine room where Cal was, knocking on the wall to get his attention. She noticed he was working on his lightsaber, and his head perked up when she entered the room. "Cal, I need to check your bandages before we get to Kashyyyk."
Cal's gaze went from her to his lightsaber. "Can I finish up this first? My lightsaber is kinda all over the place," he answered meekly.
Y/n laughed gently, saying, "Of course." Walking over to his side, she folded her arms over her chest as she looked down at the pieces of his brilliant weapon. "So, this is what a lightsaber looks like on the inside."
Cal quirked a grin at her words, nodding his head. "Yeah. Usually when Padawans get their first lightsaber, they build it with the Force. It's just been such a long time for me, I find using tools simpler and quicker. It's more familiar to me now," he told her, glancing over to her before looking down at his weapon.
She watched as he put the pieces back together, creating a different hilt than he had before. However, looking between the metal, she saw something glowing from within the handle. "What is that?" she asked in wonder, leaning on the workbench to get a closer look.
Cal opened the lightsaber to see what she was looking at, giving a smile when he realized what it was. "That is a kyber crystal. It's basically what powers a Jedi's lightsaber, connecting the hilt to the user," he explained. "A lightsaber without a kyber crystal is like... the Mantis without Greez."
"You're saying it's like the heart?" she questioned.
Cal raised his brows, impressed with her analogy. "Yeah, exactly."
"So, if Jedi have to build their lightsabers as children, where do they get the crystals from?" she continued. Cal couldn't be happier to explain his past to her, especially when she was so intrigued with it.
He finished putting his lightsaber back together, fully turning to her as he said, "There's a planet way out in the Unknown Regions of the galaxy that the Jedi have used to find their kyber crystals since the first generation of Jedi. It's called Ilum. Going there for the first time is... it's like nothing else. The entire planet is frozen, cold, and brisk. But inside the caves, thousands of kyber crystals are formed. Padawans have to search for their crystal, and theirs alone, before the sun sets."
"How do you know how to find your crystal?"
"It's a sort of calling through the Force. Like a song or a melody that only you can hear," he told her, the memories of finding his first kyber crystal clear in his mind. The song still echoed there today.
"Wow," Y/n blinked, finding herself grinning. "Everything you Jedi did, all your history and traditions, it's just all so beautiful."
"Not when the politics started," Cal sighed, and took a deep breath as he held his lightsaber in his hand. He thought a moment, before taking her hand and pulling her away from the workbench.
"Cal, what are you doing? I still need to change your bandage," she complained, but he simply shushed her and drew her closer.
"I want you to see something," he told her, and held out his lightsaber to her hands. "Take it."
Her eyes shot open, glancing between the hilt and the boy in front of her. She was speechless for a moment before finally finding her words and saying, "No way, Cal."
"Yes, come on, Y/n. Please," he said, his grin widening as he brought it closer and closer to her.
"Cal, that's your blade. I, honestly, don't feel worthy to hold it," she shook her head, holding her hands up to avoid it.
He took one of her hands and brought it down, opening her palm and setting the hilt down in it. The cool metal was like ice against her skin. "I thought the same thing when my master first gave it to me," Cal told her, and she quieted, letting it fall into her grip. "I had just dropped my own lightsaber during... during the Purge. I was careless, and I let one of the clones shoot it from my hand." The disappointment he held at himself was evident in his eyes. "Master Tapal gave this to me right as he... when he died." Cal's voice caught in his throat. "It took me a while to feel like I could actually use it. Like it.. accepted me, and I it."
Y/n hesitated, feeling the grip of it in her hand. She finally wrapped her fingers around it, holding it properly in front of her, as careful as she could. She managed a laugh and said, "It's heavier than I thought it would be."
"Yeah, they tend to be," Cal laughed with her. "Here, turn around." When she gave him another skeptical look, his turned amused as he repeated, "Turn around. Please."
She let out a sigh, her grin not faltering as she turned around so her back was to him. She didn't expect to feel him press up against her. Her breath hitched when his hands came forward to wrap around her own. "Cal, what are you doing?" she managed to say.
"Just watch," he whispered over her shoulder. His hands moved her fingers around until they were properly laid on the lightsaber hilt, and his thumb hovered over hers on the trigger. "Just press down right there, and flick that switch."
"You want me to turn it on?"
"Hey." He got her attention, her head turning to face his. She noticed just how close they were and his eyes flickered for a moment before he said, "Do you trust me?"
"Of course," she answered almost immediately.
Cal motioned his head for her to look back at the lightsaber. She hesitated a moment, but looked back down at the ancient weapon. She couldn't believe she was holding a lightsaber in her hands. She had seen them many times in her life, but never had she held one. "Turn it on," Cal told her, and pressed his thumb down on hers.
The blade sprung to life. Y/n gasped as she watched the blue light of the lightsaber burst from the hilt within a second of flicking the switch. Cal held her steady when she faltered from the sudden glow. "Oh my stars, I'm holding a lightsaber," she mumbled, making Cal grin.
"You're holding a lightsaber," he repeated to her, and the both of them started to laugh.
"I mean, this is... this is like nothing I've ever felt before," she spoke, her voice a mere whisper of her usual powerful tone. She was star-struck by the weapon she was holding, and Cal couldn't help that his grin widened. "I feel like I'm going to accidentally cut off my arm, or something."
"I won't let that happen. Now, just follow my lead," he whispered in her ear, his cheek pressed against her head. She stiffened when she realized just how close she was to him, feeling a shiver run down her spine when his breath touched her skin. "I promise you won't get hurt. Or hit anything."
"Greez would never forgive me if I accidentally dented his ship with a kriffing lightsaber," Y/n commented as she felt Cal tighten his grip on her hands.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you've got quite the mouth?" Cal mentioned to her, but the sentence made her blush. "You curse all the time."
"There's always a need for it, for some reason," she spoke pointedly, and he let an 'ah' slip by when he realized her meaning.
"You're talking about me."
"Yes, Kestis, I am talking about you."
"Fair enough," he shrugged slightly, and focused his attention back on the weapon in their hands. "Now, just swing it this way, and just feel the blade beneath your fingers. Let it listen to you. Let it be a part of you." As he spoke, he guided her hands into a defensive stance, moving into a gentle swing to the side. As the saber swung, the tell-tale sign of it's movement echoed around them, humming with the vibrations of the air around it. "Good. Now step... And step... Bring it back to you."
Y/n followed his every order, and soon enough, the lightsaber felt like it was meant to be in her hands. Like her arm was complete. It almost scared her, how close she felt to the lightsaber, but also to Cal. It was his blade. The Force willed it with him. It worked in tandem with him. What reason did it have to work so well under her guidance? She didn't even realize that after a few minutes, Cal had let her handle it on her own, watching from his cot bed with an unbeatable smile.
When she finally turned, she saw him sitting and watching her from his seat on the cot. Somehow, she wasn't scared. By this point, it felt natural to her. But... she missed being near him. She wanted him behind her once more, showing her exactly how he uses this saber in battle every day. "How long have you been sitting there?" she questioned, the lightsaber resting by her side.
"Not long. But..." Cal contemplated what was on his mind. Her connection with his Master's lightsaber, with his lightsaber was astounding. Now, he knew for sure there was something in the Force pulling them together like magnets. She wouldn't have been able to handle his blade so well if there wasn't. Y/n wouldn't have connected with it like she clearly did. As soon as he stepped away, she went on as if she had trained her whole life with a lightsaber at the Jedi Temple. And it was utterly beautiful. "You didn't need me there after all."
"It would've been a little helpful to have you there," she told him, watching as he stood to approach her again.
"Nah. You're a natural," he said, and wrapped his hand around the hilt above hers. The stilled for a moment, looking up at one another. Something passed through them, causing Y/n to let go of the blade with a rush.
She cleared her throat, walking past him to say, "I still need to check your wound, Cal. You distracted me with that." She managed a slight laugh to diffuse the tension, but Cal stood with a disappointed face. He shut off the lightsaber, holding it tightly as he turned around and nodded, not trusting his own voice to speak. "Lift your shirt."
The direct order caught him off guard for a moment, but he regained himself enough to do as she said. Now, she refused to meet his eyes, making him beg her in his mind to look at him. Please, Y/n. I know you're trying to shut me out he thought to himself. By some whim, she actually looked up, catching his gaze. It was only for a moment before she retreated back into herself, continuing to undo the bandage around him. "How does it look?" he spoke up, trying to cut through the heavy silence that fell over them.
"Good. Great, actually," she said with furrowed brows. "It's almost fully healed thanks to the bacta. One more spray of it and I think you'll be fine to go on Kashyyyk. Hopefully another wyyyschokk doesn't undo this good work."
"You're coming with me too, you know," Cal reminded her, and she pursed her lips as she reapplied the spray. "Choyyssyk wanted us both there to meet Tarfful."
"I still don't understand why he likes me so much." Y/n shook her head with a laugh, tying his bandage back up.
"I can think of a few reasons."
The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them. But he didn't regret them one bit. He saw her pause, putting away her supplies and turn back to him. She was hesitant, her body language almost frightened. Cal pushed his shirt back down, fixing himself before he stood to face her back. She took a breath, her lips opening to speak. "Cal-"
"Hey, kids, get up here. It's time to land. We've reached Kashyyyk."
Greez's voice cut through her words. She sighed, seemingly discarding whatever was on her mind to turn and retreat to the cockpit. Cal closed his eyes, putting his face in his hands just in time for BD to run in. Bweep boop beep brr? BD-1 asked him, causing Cal to look down at his friend.
"Yeah, bud. I'm okay. I'm just..." Cal paused, letting out a deep sigh through his lips. "I'm realizing I'm in big trouble." At BD's concerned whirs, Cal shook his head, allowing BD to climb on up to his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Or maybe ask Greez. He'll probably be more than happy to fill you in."
That was enough to let BD know exactly where his troubles lie.