"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." Rita Rudner
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XLIII.
"I never would have wagered on this day coming. Not for ten thousand pounds."
Joe was startled as the sound of a familiar voice suddenly came from his right. He was standing at the altar, and was already sweating, and so a surprise was not welcome. But when Joe turned his head, he was shocked to see Reverend Thomas standing beside him, bible in hand, ready to perform the wedding ceremony.
"Vicar!" remarked Joe, his voice shaky with nerves. "What are you doing here?"
"Your future father-in-law's request," Reverend Thomas replied. "I believe the duke finds it to be a capital joke that I be the one to marry the two of you after you both nearly sent me into the pit of insanity." He shook his head as he tsked.
Joe could vividly hear his old schoolmaster's voice in the elderly man before him, shouting at both he and Perrie, mainly Joe, to stop attempting to kill the other. If he concentrated hard enough, he could still feel the crack of the cane on his knuckles. At the time, he had felt that every one of those beatings was worth it if it meant he had gotten to Perrie. Joe still held the same belief, as every one of those beatings had led them to this moment.
"I think the key word you need to treasure there, Vicar, is nearly," Ed mused from beside Joe with a wry smile.
A minute smile teased Reverend Thomas' lips as he sighed, and uttered, "Well, I am certainly pleased that this marriage will mean that you and Lady Perrie will stop your nonsense. I hope that there will some peace in the Ashwood village. I hear you are to take Althorpe Cottage as your home."
Joe did not have the heart to tell the vicar that there was not a chance on earth that he and Perrie would ever fully stop their 'nonsense'. They were both stubborn and passionate individuals who loved to spark fire in the other. The attempted murders were a safer bet. They would probably end. Probably.
Perrie's entire family were gathered in the small London church, occupying the pews on both sides of the aisle. It did not affect Joe as much as one would think it might that he had no one to invite. He and Ed both had already been so welcomed into this family. He knew Perrie's immediate family well, and though there were several members he had only just been introduced to in the previous few days, Joe felt positive for one of the first times in his life that everything would be alright.
There were no other guests besides Perrie's family. It was a private affair. Cecily had organised it this way, so that she could be the one to orchestrate whatever details were passed on to the aristocracy. It certainly was a story that had all of London abuzz. Rumours, of course, circulated as the haste of the eldest daughter of the Duke of Ashwood's marriage. But Cecily was in utter control of them all.
Joe had also read his own name in the papers more times than he had ever thought that he would in the past week. There was great curiosity about the man who had secured that great prize that would have been Perrie Beresford come her debut the following year. And who was Joe but the second son of an irrelevant viscount? That was what one of the newspapers had said.
"I find newspapers like these are best repurposed as cloths in the privy," Cecily had joked wickedly, to which she received a shocked admonishment from Grace.
Nobody, not even the Beresfords, were above criticism and comment, but in observing how well they supported one another, and security they had in each other, Joe knew that he would learn to disregard the voices of those who did not matter.
Just at that moment, the harmonium began to sound, and the guests all stood and turned towards the door of the church. Joe's throat seized and his stomach clenched with nerves as his brother offered him a supportive clap on the back, and an utterance of, "Good luck."
A succession of bridesmaids floated down the aisle first dressed in an array of fine colours and fabrics. First came Perrie's youngest sister, Alice, followed by her cousins closest to her in age.
Joe understood them to be Perrie's uncle Jack's two daughters, Jackie and Maria, who looked about as dissimilar as sisters could be. One had the fairest features he had ever seen, while the other, in contrast, appeared to inherit the dark hair that Perrie had received from her own mother.
Lily was the final bridesmaid to make her way down the aisle, and Joe could not help but notice there was an air of apprehension about her. Lily tried to smile, but her expression resembled more of a grimace. Joe did his best to offer her a look of reassurance, but Lily quickly shuffled her way onto the pew and took her place beside her mother. Grace took one of Lily's hands and rubbed it soothingly, before whispering something into her ear.
The tune of the harmonium changed as two figures suddenly appeared in the doorway of the church, one much shorter than the other. Joe caught Perrie's eyes immediately. Just as soon as he looked into their blue depths from all the way across the room, his nerves vanished. The music from the harmonium, and the chatter and gushes from the guests all dissipated as Joe took in all that was his bride.
She was draped spectacularly in blush silk, with lace the colour of champagne overlaying it elegantly and perfectly. The layers of lace floated behind her as she began to walk alongside her father. Perrie's dark hair was pulled away from her face, and she wore a crown of flowers that matched the bouquet that she carried in her right hand. But her prettiest adornment was not the glittering necklace at her throat, but the smile that just about reached her eyes.
And Perrie's smile was for Joe. She was walking towards him so openly, and so happily, and Joe wanted nothing more than to run out and meet her halfway.
This walk was too long. It was then that he realised that this walk had lasted nearly twelve years. Twelve years they had been dancing down the aisle that was life, and narrowly avoiding death (at the hands of each other) as they did.
Until this day, there had always been a barrier between them. Joe knew that those barriers had come from his own demons, known to him, and buried beneath the surface of his consciousness. Those barriers were gone. From this day on, they would walk together.
When Perrie finally arrived at the altar, Joe realised that he had not been breathing for several minutes. Her beauty certainly made him weak at the knees, but so did a lack of oxygen, and he took rather an embarrassing gasp of air.
Perrie snorted a giggle, and Adam rolled his eyes.
"You two really are quite a pair," the duke murmured, though Joe could see that he had a tear in his eye, and he was barely holding himself together. His voice showed a crack in his composure. But he then looked Joe in the eye, and he extended his hand. "She is your responsibility now." It was uttering those words that forced a tear from Adam's eye.
Joe shook Adam's hand and nodded firmly. "She is safe with me."
"I know." There was such a tone of confidence in Adam's voice, despite his obvious emotion, and Joe allowed that to wash over him, as he took Perrie onto his arm.
"Good morning," Perrie whispered to Joe with a devilish grin on her face.
The pure joy and excitement upon Perrie's face was infectious, and Joe could not help but bask in it. Life was meant to be this happy.
Perrie's blue eyes flicked to the figure behind him, and surprise filled her features. "Vicar!" she exclaimed.
"Lady Perrie," greeted the vicar reservedly.
Perrie could not help but snigger. "What a fine joke this is."
"Utterly hilarious," agreed the vicar facetiously. But he, nonetheless, cleared his throat and opened his Bible. All manner of informality vanished, and Reverend Thomas began the ceremony that he had clearly performed so many times before. This was evident in the way he feigned reading from the Book of Common Prayer, and that he recited the ceremony from memory. At the conclusion of the first passage, he finally stated, "Therefore if any man can shew just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."
As though it were a pantomime on the stage and not Joe and Perrie's lawful, proper wedding, an evidently drunk figure practically fell through the doors of the church, leaving them open to the gawkers who were gathered outside waiting for a look at the newlyweds. Gasps filled the church as everyone looked back to see just who had interrupted the service. Joe did not need more than half a glance to recognise the man who had just invaded upon his life, and one too many times.
Joe felt, for a short moment, as though he was existing outside of his body and watching this moment from above. He saw his own person, standing, happier than ever, about to be married to the best and most infuriating woman he had ever known. And mere feet from him stumbled in the reason for his ever demon, the very man who nearly prevented this day from coming for all the doubt that he had planted in Joe's head about his very worth.
That pathetic, sad man, had nearly taken all this from him. Joe had nearly allowed him to do that. Joe had given that man all the power in the world over him.
And as he regained his consciousness, and he stared down the aisle at his father, he felt nothing but pity. Joe felt no sadness. He felt no anxiety, no worthlessness or doubt. Joe felt entirely in control for the first time in his life, and nothing that John Parish could say would ever change that again.
"You ask for an objection, Your Holiness?" slurred John. "It is here! I say do come hither, Joseph! Come hither to your father, and you pay me for the pain and suffering it cost me to raise you!"
More than a dozen of Perrie's family members, including Perrie herself, made a move to leap to Joe's defence, verbally and physically. Perrie showed the signs that she was about to launch at Joe's father, hands at the ready as she would run towards his neck. But Joe stopped her.
"Please," Joe called out, holding up his hand. "Please, do not. Let me, please." He hated to leave Perrie at the altar, but he descended the steps with a rather enthusiastic jump, and he marched proudly towards his father, who was still in a pathetic clump on the floor of the church near the door.
John looked up at his youngest son, and he glared at him, his eyes bloodshot and tired. He looked to have aged a decade since Joe had last seen him, but the contempt had not changed at all. "Devil child!" he hissed. "You have cursed me! You are an abomination!"
Such insults would have crippled Joe, and not at all long ago. But they came from a weak man, and Joe saw him as this now. He was not a great, almighty villain, but a weak man who never learned to live with his grief, and instead directed his pain at an innocent child. John Parish had ruined himself and had lost the privilege that it was to be a father.
"You have cursed yourself," Joe said firmly. "Your failings in life are your own, and until you learn to take responsibility for yourself and your own shortcomings, you will never know success, or contentment, and God forbid, love. I want to say that you do not deserve it, but I think everyone should have love in their life."
John did not listen. He laughed drunkenly and shook his head. "A prophet, are you? Devil child! Killed your own mother and yet it is all my fault? I hate you!"
Joe felt his instincts will him to flinch at such an accusation, but he would not allow them any sort of power. "Hate me then," Joe allowed. "Hate me and see what prosperity it brings you. Waste your energy on hate. I certainly will not do the same. I could hate you. I could hate you very easily for what you have done to me. You abused me most cruelly, and you made me doubt whether or not I had the right to be alive. I could hate you very easily."
Joe held his father's hateful gaze firmly, but he did not return John Parish's daggers. Joe believed he showed the man compassion. Though it was far from deserved, Joe needed to do it.
"But I will not hate you, and I will not waste one more minute of my life hating myself because of you. You have taken up space in my mind for far too long, and it is time for this version of you, and the life you allowed me to live, to leave and to end. I am finished with you. I am determined to forget you.
"But I know you will think of me. And I pray, that when you are finished hating me, that you will find it in your heart to regret the day you decided that your hate was more important that the sons born of your own blood. Your wife's blood. I pray you will grieve for us, and I pray that when it is finally your turn to join Mother, that you can tell her that you understand how you wronged her children."
A small arm snaked its way through his own as Perrie joined Joe at his side. She leaned on him and held him in a way that made Joe feel that she was proud.
"I hope death becomes her," sneered John viciously, shooting his vile gaze directly at Perrie. "And eye for an eye, and then you will know what you have done. Devil child!"
It was pure evil that this man spouted, but Joe would not allow any of his poison to affect them. He felt Perrie stiffen beside him, and Joe immediately positioned her so that his arm was wrapped protectively around her. "Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps you will not meet Mother again," Joe stated, before he quickly kissed Perrie on her forehead, and removed his arm. He only did this so that he could step over his father.
Ed had joined him down the aisle and had been standing not three feet from where he had been addressing their father. He was quick to get to Joe's side, and together they pulled their drunken sire from the entrance of the church.
John pathetically protested, but he was far too intoxicated to put up a fight. He slurred his profanities and his curses at his devil, ungrateful sons, but Joe would not hear any more of it. He turned to his left, and allowed his father's words to finally, and literally, fall on deaf ears.
The onlookers took in the scene with great curiosity, but Joe paid them no attention. He had no cares for anything more than anyone could say. Ed once again clapped Joe on the back, and they smiled at one another triumphantly, before they walked back inside the church and closed the doors securely.
They eyes of everyone were firmly set on Joe, but Joe simply looked at Perrie. She was certainly more startled than he was, and he immediately went to her. He cradled her face in his hands and ran his thumbs over her cheekbones.
"You don't have to be afraid," he uttered.
Perrie suddenly frowned. "I am not afraid," she retorted. "I am annoyed. That ridiculous toad's display delayed our wedding. We ought to have been married for a full three minutes by now."
Joe did not think it was possible to love Perrie any more than he did, and yet she had come out with something like that, and he had found a new level at which his adoration could reach. "You're right! We must amend this immediately. Shall we?"
Joe and Perrie, flanked by Ed, quickly made their way back up the aisle to the waiting vicar, who did not look surprised at all at the spectacle that seemed to follow them wherever they went. Nevertheless, he continued the ceremony, and Perrie and Joe repeated the words and the prayers. They vowed to love and cherish one another, and Perrie reluctantly promised to obey Joe.
Perrie had tried to cross her fingers at this part, and the vicar had admonished her. Joe, instead, crossed his fingers for her. He did not want an obedient wife. He wanted Perrie, just as she was.
"I, Joseph Parish, do also solemnly promise to refrain from killing Peregrine Beresford even if she tries to kill me first."
Joe had spent the last ten minutes repeating the vicar's words, and so he almost copied the last lot without thinking. It was not until Adam had disguised a laugh with a cough that Joe realised just what the vicar had said.
Joe turned his head to look at Reverend Thomas, but the man appeared perfectly serious. When he looked back down at Perrie, she had a wicked grin on her face. She found it terribly amusing. Joe could not help but smile as well.
"Is that in the Bible, is it, Vicar?" Joe mused.
"It is," he confirmed. "In the Book of ... Colossians. Thou shalt not murder thine own wife even if she is annoying. Thine wife shalt also not set thine own husband on fire or drown him. Honestly, the two of you ought to have paid more attention in Sunday School lessons. I am a clergyman. I interpret the Bible, and God insists that I add this addendum."
"You have to let me cross my fingers for that one, Vicar. How can I be expected to resist killing him for the rest of my life? You know more than anyone how infuriating he is." Perrie was nearly in hysterics as she laughed through her protest.
"Instead of 'I do', may we say, 'I'll try'?" Joe proposed with a grin.
"Oh, God help you both," sighed the vicar, before he nodded.
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This chapter was such a joy to write. It is sooooo nice being able to give my beloved PB&J their happiness after everything I put them through. I always get there in the end, don't I? I make you all suffer, but you stick with me because the happiness is sweeter after a few dozen delicious cups of reader tears :)
Thanks for those, btw. Kept me strong these last 6 months in writing this book heheeh.
Okay, I think there's two chapters left in this book! I'm hoping to finish by the end of July! Then we can start to think about our girl Lily.
I've also seen some discussion in the comments asking about Jackie. Yep. Her story is coming after Lily's. It's still untitled as I have not thought of the perfect one yet. But I will!
It's 12:32am and I am in desperate need for my currect hyper-fixation food so I'm gonna leave you, and go eat my packet of Jumpy's (Australians will know) and then I'm gonna sleep, and when I wake up, I can't wait to read the comments on this one.
Love you all. Thanks for sticking with me and for loving Perrie and Joe as much as I do.
Vote and comment xxx