"—and when will you be able to start?" The woman asked, lowering the glasses she had on.
"As soon as possible honestly," I replied eagerly.
Yesterday I basically spent all day putting in applications and searching for jobs that were hiring. This morning I'd already Received a call from the grocery store about 15 minutes from my apartment.
Like I stated before, I wasn't really in the position to be picky, a job is a job—and one thing about me, I keep a job.
"How does next week sound?" She asked, smiling politely.
"That works," I nodded.
"—I was actually hoping to get started as soon as Tomorrow, but I understand things probably still need to be solidified," I added.
"Oh we're closed this weekend hun'," she explained.
"Wait I'm sorry—I didn't realize we close on weekends," I said truthfully.
"We don't," she nodded, confusing me, "just this one."
"Oh...okay." I nodded, confused still as to why, but too scared to ask any more questions.
After we said our goodbyes, I shook my new manager's hand and exited the store.
As I made my way home I walked past my old job, causing guilt to bubble inside of me.
The now vacant convenience store stood as a reminder of what this city does to people, good people
A candlelight vigil had been sat out by a couple of neighbors last night for both Mr.Ron and his grandson.
Guess that goes to show that the whole murder-suicide thing they were trying to push wasn't going over smoothly, people knew that wasn't the truth.
As my eyes swelled with tears I crouched down and placed the two candles I'd bought from the store on the ground.
"thank you again, so much," I mumbled as I lit both flames.
Though I didn't know him very long, Mr.Ron still took a chance on me—and he didn't deserve what happened to him.
After a couple more minutes of paying my respects, I went ahead and headed home, knowing it was best I wasn't still walking when the sun went down.
Only gonna make that mistake ONCE.
Just as I made it to my complex, I ignored the eerie feeling the sunset gave me and continued up the stairs to my apartment.
And that's when I saw it, that's when I saw my door hanging off the hinges.
My mouth dropped at the sight, and immediately I scuffled through the rubble and rushed into my apartment.
It was trashed, I mean completely ripped apart. My first instinct was to check for what I cared about most. So immediately I rushed into my bedroom before lifting the mattress, praying that at the least, my important documents were still intact.
When I spotted them I released a sigh of relief and collapsed back down on my bottom.
This is what my life has come to, gratefully clutching the one thing I had to my name as I sat inside my trashed apartment.
It wasn't like I had anything to take, I barely even had cash, so when they stole the couple of dollars I'd been saving up, they just destroyed my apartment for the hell of it.
Again, just my fucking luck, right.
I shook my head and walked over to my living room area to survey the damage.
After I stared around in complete defeat for a moment, I bent down with a sigh and began to pick up some of the rubble.
Was any of this even worth reporting to the police, would they even care, would they do anything?
I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts, then leaned up.
I don't even want to begin thinking about how I'm gonna handle fixing this door, I doubt this complex even had a maintenance team. I mean based on the condition the apartments themselves were all in, I'm almost certain they don't.
It was getting pretty dark out now, and here I was without a damn door.
When I finally did lean up to look at it, I swear my heart fell down to my toes.
A man stood in my doorframe, just staring at me.
Not just any man, the same man I had been seeing everywhere lately.
The same man that killed two people in front of me.
"OH MY GO—". I jumped seemingly in my own skin before covering my heart out of panic.
My fear didn't seem to phase him though, because he didn't react
"...what happened?" He questioned, nodding over to all the destruction.
what?
The fear that once covered my face turned into completely confusion as I stared over at him.
The same man who I witnessed kill two people, was now standing across from me asking what happened to my trashed apartment.
Why was he even here?
Why was he acting so casual about this?
"I uh—um, s-someone broke in....w-while I was gone." I replied, still unsure how to fully read the situation, and still completely terrified of him.
"who?" He questioned.
"I-I don't know.." I replied.
This was the most I ever heard this man talk, and I'm not sure if that makes me more afraid...or less.
What did make me more afraid was when he stepped over the rubble, causing the floor to creek under his large frame as he stepped into my apartment.
That made me jump back again, which in turn caused him to pause his movement, and look up at me.
Again, just like what we seemed to do every time we saw each other, we just stared for a moment before he continued walking in.
"I-I told you, I-I didn't tell anyone what I saw—s-seriously, you don't have to—"
"I'm not gon' kill you." he spoke, cutting me off.
By this point, the tears had already begun to fall out of fear, so I wasn't really hearing anything he was saying.
I was silent of course, but I still didn't completely believe him.
"...stop the crying." he stated simply, with his usual stone face expression.
" —t-then why are you..." but before I could finish my sentence, I cut myself off and swallowed the nervous lump in my throat. Words were too hard to really form when you think you're looking into the eyes of your murderer.
"your door...it's gettin' dark." He said simply, leaving me to fill in the blanks of what he meant.
"I uh—yeah I know, I don't k-know what to do." I replied lowly.
For all I know he could've been the one to break in, and now he's back to finish the job. I'm sorry nothing about this situation made sense enough for me.
I then watched as he reached down to lift up the fallen door before hoisting it up against the wall.
"you got a screwdriver?" He then asked.
I creased my eyebrows at him as my face contorted to match the appalled feeling that was quickly replacing the scared one I'd been feeling.
Was he serious, there was no way he was serious. This had to be some kind of ruse—or elaborate plan to just kill me.
"...you killed my boss..." I mumbled.
All he did was retain that stoic expression and remain silent.
"...and his grandson...in cold blood..." I continued.
"P-please get out!" I spoke, basically demanding and begging at the same time.
As expected he just stared at me.
"Get out, p-please!" I repeated, pointing outside.
All he did was cock his head to the side a little bit, like he was the one confused. Though I'll admit his expression didn't change, he always looked uninterested. All he did was back up a bit and then step back over the ruble as he exited my apartment.
I guess that was a fair reaction, or expected. I don't know, I don't really care.
To be fair when I came around here I didn't expect him to be home. I still don't really know how to explain why I was watching him, but seeing his place kicked open like that made me interested to actually go see what happened.
Even he didn't seem to know for sure, but if I had to guess, it was just some broke-ass niggas breaking in for some quick bread. Nothing new in this complex, he was just the unlucky person it happened to today.
Clearly, he didn't want anything to do with me though, so I'll leave it alone. It's probably good I do that anyway, better to shake off whatever this was.
The best way to do that was to stop by somewhere that offered me a different dynamic.
A ten-minute drive was all it took for me to pull up at the familiar house.
Slowly I went ahead and parked my car before exiting it.
As usual, I looked around and observed my surroundings before walking ahead to the porch.
After knocking I waited around 3 minutes to give the old woman time enough to get to the door and open it for me.
"Ah look who done stopped by!" She said immediately as she saw me, placing her hands on her hips.
I nodded and dropped my head as a small part of me felt like a child again.
"how you been Ma?," I questioned as I walked In, embracing the older woman soon after.
"child I can't complain," she smiled.
"You hungry?" She then asked, walking over the place down her house phone on the charger.
"No ma'am—I'm straight." I replied.
"Oh boy nonsense, imma whip you up a lil' sum'thin' right quick." She insisted, waving me off.
I already knew there was no point in arguing, she'd always cook me something whenever I came over.
After I took a seat at the dining room table, she poured me up a glass of iced tea and then began her cooking.
At first, I sat in silence while I began to think about what I wanted to say, and how I'd get it across.
"I heard that old man and his grandson that run that corner store uptown died the other night." She spoke.
"—It's just so sad, I mean really what is this world coming to." She continued.
Course I didn't react to that, hell I'm the nigga that killed them.
But she didn't know that, and I was glad she didn't.
Her name was Mrs.Evelyn—though she insisted people call her Eve. I met her around last year when I was at a grocery store.
No she wasn't my real mom, that....that was another story.
As far as how I met Ms.Eve, well—I really didn't think anything of it, she asked me to help her with her groceries and I wasn't feeling particularly murderous that day so I did.
What stuck out to me was the conversation she held with me while I did so.
I actually enjoyed our conversation, and though she did all the talking, I guess I enjoyed what she was talking about.
Maybe it was my mommy issues, ion know, either way, after that I found myself coming to her on occasion, it was like a break.
A break from the noise, yeah that's how I'd put it.
"So what brings you to my doorstep hun'?" She asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
"ion know..."I mumbled lowly.
"You been going to church like I asked?" She questioned, chuckling.
Silence.
"Nah you ain't!" She answered for me, "I told you—the lord has big plans for you." She ranted.
I doubt that, I keep sending people up there with them, I'm probably raising his rent if anything.
Though I didn't say that, and as usual, decided to stay silent, best not to disrespect her beliefs in her own house, I respected her too much for that.
Felt like she was the only one in the city who didn't look at me with fear. I'm not sure if she even knew about the "real" me, but if she did—she never judged me.
Most people knew me by face, it never occurred to me how she didn't. One day she'll find out, and she'll be afraid of me like everyone else.
That's fine, I've come to terms with solitude, for now, I'd enjoy her obliviousness.
"So what brings you by?" She asked, placing the plate of food in front of me.
After thinking to myself a bit about an appropriate answer, I spoke, "wanted to come to check up on you before purge weekend."
"Oh boy you know I'm good—don't nobody come 'round here like that." She explained as she shook her head.
"still." I told her.
I never told her that I would usually keep an eye on her crib during the purge nights, just to make sure nobody fucked with her.
But like she said, nobody really came around here, well other than a few knuckle-headed lil kids, but they were easy to scare off.
"Now tell me what really brings you 'round here." She repeated, crossing her arms.
My eyebrows raised at that, why was she so certain there was another reason—
"You been looking conflicted since you pulled up," she laughed. "And yes, even more so than usual."
Wow, either I was more readable than I thought, or this woman was a lot smarter than I'd already assumed she was.
I mean conflicted isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe it, I'd probably say it was more confusion if anything.
Like, I'd be lying if I said this has happened before, being interested in someone like this.
Hell, I don't even know if I'd call it interest, I don't know what the fuck it was, but it hasn't happened before, and I don't understand it.
Continuously seeing him everywhere, the fact I left him alive knowing damn well I should've killed him, a lot of shit I just didn't understand right now.
" ion know." I mumbled before taking a sip of the drink she'd given me.
She gave me a look that indicated she didn't believe a word I was saying, but despite that, she let it go, " mhm, well when you decide you want to talk about It, you know where to find me, hear?"
"yes ma'am," I muttered lowly.
Thankful she no longer pressed the matter and instead left me to enjoy the food she made. When it came time for me to head out, I left her a couple of dollars secretly, knowing she'd never let me give her any directly.
"call me if you need.." I spoke as she grabbed the empty dishes from in front of me, "Purge weekend y'know."
"boy I told you imma be fine," she repeated
"I know, still." I reiterated.
Purge nights have been getting worse and worse now, I don't know if it was because the looneys around here have been multiplying, or if everybody was just increasingly getting more violent, either way, for regular people down here, people not like me, these nights can be wild.
Which leads me to another thing...
After saying my goodbyes to Ms.Eve I headed home to grab a few items before wrapping back around to the complex I found myself at a lot recently.
After grabbing everything, I turned my car off and exited. The short walk back up the stairs led me to see the same frustrated and confused boy who had basically shunned me earlier.
Upon hearing my footsteps his head snapped around in fear, and when he realized it was me, his eyes grew wide again.
"L-Listen, I don't know why you keep--"
His words were cut off when I pushed past him and approached the door that I had propped up on the wall earlier.
"do you know what's coming up?" I asked simply while I grabbed the door once more, this time positioning it at the hinges of the frame it was once attached to.
"what?" he questioned in confusion, backing as far away from me as he could until his back hit the wall across the room.
I positioned the screwdriver in the hole before speaking again, "This weekend." I added.
"N-no, what are you talking about, and who even are you!" he responded in frustration.
that's irrelevant.
"where are you from?" I then asked, because what type of dumbass moves to a place like this without knowing about its most important nights
"um, why?" he replied, nervous again with his words.
I was silent for a bit as I continued with the door, then I spoke, " 'cause it's clear you're not from 'round here, if you were, you'd be smarter."
His mouth dropped after hearing that, "e-excuse me?"
" first weekend of every month is purge weekend, you shouldn't leave the house at night." I explained as simply as I could.
His silence was telling at first, but then how prolonged it was caused me to look at him.
"are you being serious?" He asked as I looked over.
"do I look like I make a lot of jokes?" I replied
"I-I don't, wait so-" he stuttered.
"Purge, like the movie?" he then asked.
"worse." I replied as I screwed one of the last few screws in.
He then began shaking his head and mumbling to himself and sure I can see how this might overwhelm someone, but still, man up.
"I don't understand, the police—" the asked.
"they hide too." I told him cutting him off
Again he began shaking his head, " this—this is crazy."
"just stay in the house." I told him.
"You say that a-as if I should trust you, I-I don't even know you, I-I literally saw you ki--"
"choose your next words wisely." I stated simply as I looked over at him, causing him to go silent again.
His face paled in horror at that, and I could see him swallow nervously.
"If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't wait for a purge night to do it." I explained.
"—and I wouldn't be helping you fix your door for it either," I added.
"I still don't even know why you're helping me, I-I don't know your name, honestly I still don't completely know what's going on.." he sighed.
"if what you're saying is true, then It doesn't matter if I stay in my house, there's nothing stopping anyone from breaking in and literally killing me," he explained.
To be fair he was right, especially considering the complex he lived in.
"you'll be aight ', just don't leave the house." I reiterated.
"did you hear anything of what I just said?" He questioned, running his hands down his face.
The more I talked to this nigga the more I realized how smart of a mouth he had, way too smart for me, I've killed niggas for less.
"I heard you, but you not saying shit, Im telling you what to do to stay safe, nobodies gonna break in your crib....anymore at least." I told him
After that, he was quiet, and the silence lasted long enough for me to finish putting his door back on the hinges, eventually though he spoke again.
"d-do you do it...like...p-purge?" he asked lowly.
I contemplated my answer for a second then replied, "I defend myself, but ion go outside and spaz' nah."
That was true, for as long as I've lived here I haven't "purged" for personal satisfaction. That might be surprising seeing as though I enjoyed the act of killing when I had to do it. Some would probably assume purge nights would seem like a holiday to me..
They weren't though, I only killed when it came to my job or self-defense, the moment I just start killing for personal satisfaction is the moment I cross a line I feel like I can't come back from.
I don't consider myself enjoying killing when I have to do it as crossing that line.
"ya' doors fixed." I then announced, swinging it back and forth to test.
All he did was look between me and the door, clearly still very nervous.
"w-why did you have to do it?" He mumbled lowly.
I squinted my eyes in question, lost about what he was talking about.
"Mr.Ron, his grandson....why did you have to do it." he repeated, tears dropping one by one.
I clenched my fists after hearing that, "what?"
"I-I just don't understand, why are you helping me, why did you let me live? Why do this for me and then kill them." He continued.
"Do you want me to kill you?" I questioned simply.
Why was he complaining about being the one who lived to tell the story?
"I-I don't know anymore..." he mumbled
That answer alone left me more confused than ever, the noise got louder than ever, and that pressure I kept feeling, felt heavier than ever.
I really needed to get away from him, and that was exactly my plan, so after grabbing my equipment, I began my walk out of his apartment.
"um" He hummed, which caused me to pause my steps and turn back around as I waited for him to speak.
He was silent for a couple of seconds though, and his lip just trembled, which confused me.
"s-sorry, I just felt like I-I should say t-thank you for the door." He mumbled nervously, "e-even though I d-don't understand."
"yeah," I replied simply before beginning to walk again, desperate to get away from him so the noise would stop.
It didn't stop though, it just continued, got louder and louder
with the one question I had no idea how to answer.
Saint...what the fuck are you doing?
☯︎ 𝖍𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 ☯︎