//edit 1//
I was feeling kinda depressed so this chapter is purely an outlet and a way to comfort myself but it's not that specific
there's a LOT of kisses and cuddles too so enjoy being pampered by our eepy boy <3
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it's gender ambiguous but it does mention the UA pretty boys which is inclusive to everyone kinda like how guys and dude can be referred to anyone :)
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I hesitate before the door. The hall monitors aren't at Shinsou's floor at the moment, but they're slowly making their way back upstairs for their nightly patrol. Second guessing myself, the thought of just going back to my room and pretending to not have even gone out at all quickly comes to mind, but just as quickly leaves. My hand goes back up to the door to knock and I clutch onto the pillow I had brought with me.
But before I could even tap the door, Shinsou opens it, nearly making me jump. "I knew it," he says, grabbing my arm to usher me inside. He directs me to his bed as he closes the door quietly, as to not alert the patrol robots.
I almost immediately curl up into the sheets, hugging the pillow. Shinsou's computer was still on, softly playing the playlist I've heard almost every time I've came here during after hours. The only other source of light was the automatic LED lights I had helped him put under his bed since he kept tripping in the dark. I dig my face into the mess of pillows and blankets, the faint smell of who slept here comforting me.
"You're up later than usual," he says, sitting next to me and pulling the blanket over his lap.
"Yeah, and how many times did you open the door thinking I was there?" I joke, getting a light laugh from the insomniac. I pull my face out of the covers and look up at him. His bed head was messier than ever, eyebags clearly visible even in the middle of the night's darkness. "Did you have another depressive episode again?"
He was spot on. He's on the mark every time it happens. It doesn't matter whether or not I stay in my room, wallowing in my depression and anxiety alone or end up making the walk all the way down to the general ed's dorms in my fluffy slippers. Shinsou always knows something's up and waits for me to show up at his door in my pajamas clinging to my pillow or wrapped in my blanket. Either that, or just coming to my room himself in his matching little fluffy slippers and let himself in without knocking to stop me from spiraling further into my depression and anxiety episode.
"Yeah," I say, my grip tightening on his shirt. "Just stupid thoughts and memories." He leans on his elbow and combs his fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face. "I'd tell you that you don't need to worry about it anymore and that it's all bs but you already know that."
I close my eyes and relax as he scritched the back of my head, sending shivers down my spine. I focused on that and the angsty ass playlist he was playing. A new song had started playing, and of course it had to be an MCR song. I'm not complaining though, Helena is an amazing song and is in a bunch of my sleepless playlists too but Shinsou had some really stereotypical angst songs.
"I feel like every time I get confident and like everything's good now, either something happens or I just have another random crying session again," I mutter into his stomach, wrapping my arms around his waist. Shinsou's hand grazed down to hold my face, his thumb rubbing against my cheek. He didn't raise my head to look at him or anything, letting me stuff my face into him. "Yeah, the brain's fucked up like that," he said. "There are just certain things that are hard to forget, even if you want to."
"You're bad at comforting," I muffle into him.
"Then why do you always come to me for it?" he let out a small laugh. "We both know you just want cuddles instead of advice."
"You too."
It's be completely one sided if it was only me going to Shinsou about my problems. Of course he has his own issues and he comes to me the same as I do. The only difference is that he has to wake me up if it's at night since he stays up nearly twice as much as I do. All the nights of waking up in the early morning to Shinsou cuddled up next to me, his breath softly hitting my neck as he's on the verge of falling asleep come to mind. Other times when I have the door locked or forget to put something to wedge it open he'll just keep texting me until I wake up since I never hear him tapping on the door. Sometimes he wouldn't even wake me up at all and would feel better just by being able to physically be next to me. Other times I'd hug him, give him millions of kisses and put on some tea or sleep aid to try and get him to sleep. There were even a couple of times where he had stopped by my room because of how bad his insomnia was, and I'd do almost everything to help him sleep. Then I'd have to do everything in my room quietly for half the day to not wake him up and let him sleep.
"Honestly I think it's just going to have to take time, which I know is really corny," he says, gently kissing my forehead. "But really, I think for both of us it'll just slowly fizzle out and then we can worry about something else in the future."
"Like what? About which one of us is going to be the stay at home cat dad?" I said with a smile. He let out a "ch" sound and kissed my right cheek. Both of his hands were holding the sides of my face, and all I could do was melt into them as this insomniac kissed me. "I'm more worried about how many cats you'd let us get." He kissed my left cheek.
"You're basically an overgrown cat anyway," I grabbed his face the same as he was with mine. "Only with a prettier face, and messier hair....not to mention with a voice that'd make me fall asleep in seconds." I closed my eyes in anticipation for him to kiss my lips as he always does, but instead I felt him peck my nose. "I think you'd fall asleep faster to cats purring rather than my voice," he smiled.
I closed my eyes again but he instead kissed my right eyelid. "And besides, you have a prettier face than I do." "Oh please, you're grouped in with the UA pretty boys." A hint of my annoyance was laced in my words from how he's kiss everywhere except for where I wanted it.
"You're in there too, dumbass," he said as he kissed my other eye. I tried to pull him back in for a proper kiss but he pulled away. "Hm?" He smiled as he obviously faked confusion.
My face scrunched up a little, getting more annoyed. "There's nowhere else for you to kiss other than here," I say, moving his thumb to my bottom lip. His lips curve into a smile before grabbing my hand on his face to kiss the palm. "You're really impatient, you know that?" He kisses up to the top of my index finger.
"You say that all the time," I say, watching him as he starts kissing my middle finger now. "At this rate, we'll be up all night because of you." He didn't respond as he kissed the next finger, taking his sweet time with each kiss. I lean my face into his other hand as he kisses my pinkie and thumb, then turning my hand around to kiss the knuckles and on the back of it. He gave a particularly long and gentle kiss on my wrist, looking up to make eye contact with me. Even though he was tired, his eyes glimmered like doe eyes. I felt my face get a little hot as I looked away, turning my head into his hand.
Shinsou then placed my hand around his neck and grabbed the other side of my face, turning my head towards him. "Come here," he kissed my lips. After waiting so long for him, his lips were soft against mine, leaning in to put more pressure for a long, sweet kiss. It was so much more loving and gentle than the other ones. I held onto him as we kissed, one of his hands trailing to the back of my head to pull me in even closer.
As I felt him start to pull away, I lean in to get even a second more but he parted. Our faces were still close though, my focus completely on his lips, wanting another kiss. When I glanced up to meet his eyes, he was looking directly at me. His thumb caressed my cheek as he gave small pecks slowly, our lips barely parting at all now. It was more of him sleepily leaning in over and over for more pressure in the kiss.
"Was that enough?" he said, his voice a little deeper from his tiredness. My whole body was relaxed, completely comfortable with him. "No," I leaned in for another one. He gave a couple more kisses, each lasting a little longer than before, until he parted completely away and our bottom lips weren't touching anymore.
Shinsou pulled the blanket up to our necks and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms and legs all over me. I did the same, draping a leg over both of his. The last song of his playlist started to play as he held the back of my head and kissed the top over and over, slowly moving the hair out of my face with each kiss.
"Mm...Hitoshi.." I mumbled into his shirt. "Hm?" he continued to kiss my head. "You should really update your playlist...I think I've fallen asleep to Lemon nearly fifty times now.." He kept kissing me, gently moving my head up so that he had more access to different spots on my face. "It's so relaxing, though," he said, giving kisses on my lips in between each one.
"I prefer your sleepy voice.." I wasn't able to say anything else from how much he was kissing me all over. "I can't talk that long since I fall asleep quicker with you," he said, holding me tight. "We can make a different playlist tomorrow, one with all your favorite artists."
I smiled and gave a tired "mm" in response, getting another kiss on the lips. "Maybe we could add some ambient noises to it.." Another kiss on the forehead. "Though I'd prefer to keep some old songs on it." One more kiss on the cheek. I was too tired to even give a hum in response. "But I'm sure we can find some new ones we haven't heard too..." A kiss on the nose. "And probably add more quiet songs compared to the late night rock..." One on the lips again.. "Like acoustic covers..." The other cheek.. "With guitar...." Forehead... "And piano....." Lips....
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Shinsou's late night playlist with rain background sounds:
- CLOSER by Waterparks
- pharmacy by Isaac Dunbar
- Helena (So Long, Goodnight) by My Chemical Romance
- Dream Catcher (Acoustic) by Set it Off
- Rain (from The Suicide Squad) by grandson & Jessie Reyez
- Anti-Romantic by Tomorrow x Together
- Kill The Director by The Wombats
- Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood
- The Dead Days by Get Scared
- Jet Black Heart by 5 Seconds of Summer
- Sorry I'm not Sorry by MONSTA X
- the spookiest depression bop by Rory Webley
- NIGHT DANCER by imase
- Mr. Brightside by Patent Pending
- Orange no Yakusoku by Soraru
- Psychotic Kids (Unplugged) by YUNGBLUD
- Habits (Stay High) by Our Last Night
- Boys Will Be Bugs by
Cavetown
- Lonely Dance (Acoustic) by Set it Off
- wish you were gay by Billie Eilish
- Loverboy by A-Wall
- Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish
- Crying Over it All by Waterparks
- Lemon by Kenshi Yonezu
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