Krit: “The floor is lava!
Orion: *helps Theo onto the counter*
Nel: *Kicks Faye off of the couch*
Micah: *Lays on the floor*
Moki, clinging onto a bookshelf: “..are you ok?”
Micah: “No.”
Alternatively l,
Krit: “The floor is lava!
Orion: *helps Theo onto the counter*
Nel: *Kicks Faye off of the couch*
Azzy: *Lays on the floor*
Void, clinging onto a bookshelf: “..are you ok?”
Azzy: “No.”
Bite: *Shoves his hand in the slot of a toaster*
Gyn: …
Bite: “I get confused sometimes.”
Gyn: “Me too.”
Azzy: “You’re giving me a sticker?”
Void: “Not *just* a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
Azzy: “I'm not a preschooler.”
Void: “Fine, I’ll take it back then”
Azzy: “I earned this, back off!”
Theo: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Orion: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Theo, removing his trident: Orion, you’re so admirably stupid.
Elodie: so then turns out he’s the bad guy!
Hubert: *oinks*
Elodie: SEE?! You get it-
Theo, Krit, Faye, Moki, Orion, Nel: *Ties a potato to a ceiling fan and makes it spin*
Theo, Krit, Faye, Moki, Orion, Nel 5 minutes later: *screaming because it spinning to fast*
Faye : If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Krit : Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Faye : Am I in trouble?
Theo : Take a guess.
Faye : No?
Theo : Take another guess.
Gyn: How do I deal with my enemies?
Bite: Kill them
Gyn: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution
Bite: Kill them only a little?
Theo: I need to get some prismarine
Orion: there’s some in my house if you wanna go there
Theo: *where did you think I was going?*
Theo, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Krit: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Theo, with the tone of someone who is used to Krit: Outstanding.
Theo: This is what I’m talking about people.
Faye: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Theo: Only if you also don't ask why *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Faye: *stares intensly*
Theo: *stare intensifies*
Faye: This one is fine!
Theo:”who’s the toughest person you know”
Krit:”Faye or Void”
Theo:”Who’s the toughest man-person you know”
Krit:”you’re the toughest man-person I know!”
Orion: Do you take constructive criticism?
Theo: I only take cash or credit.
Orion: Wha-
Theo: Exactly what I thought, poor arsehat
Orion: I'm not poo-
Theo: What's a credit card?
Orion: ...
Faye: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murd3r?
Theo: Stop reminiscing on the past.
Elodie: Can you keep a secret?
Theo: Do you know anything about my life?
Elodie: No I do not. Good point.
Krit:*just sitting in their shack making friendship bracelets for people unaware of everything going on*
Faye:*outside their shack poisoned due to pufferfish*
Theo:*also there calling orion poor*
Orion:*being called poor*
C!Moki:*SOMEHOW on fire underwater*
Micah:*questioning how someone can be on fire underwater and also selling people stuff*
Theo: *Gets down on one knee*
Orion: Oh my god, it’s finally happening-
Theo: *Falls over*
Orion: the po!s0n kicked in.
Nel:”why are we on a raft again?”
Krit:”Faye said something about a bonding activity and then kicked us on a raft”
Void:”may I ask why I am here again?”
Krit:”Theo didn’t trust us enough alone so he asked you to come along or something”
Nel:”what’re you doing now besides well navigating”
Keit:”resisting the random urge to push you off the raft again I don’t know why I keep wanting to do that”
Faye:”how’d the nether trip with Krit go”
Theo:”it went fine”
Krit:*just passing by* “He accidentally screamed in my ear”
Theo:”YOU DROVE A BOAT OFF A HIGH PLACE”
Krit: Welcome, fellow idiots
Elodie: Hello, Krit!
Captain: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Elodie: You underestimate me
Theo:*driving* “I feel like we forgot something-“
Nel:”what?” *sitting in the back*
Theo:”I don’t know!”
Faye:”it’s probably not important if you forgot”*sitting in the front cause directions and krits asleep in the back*
Krit:*wakes up and looks around* “hey guys where’s Orion and Micah…?”
Theo:”SHIT THATS WHAT I FORGOT”
Micah and Orion: *at a gas station*
Micah:”I told you so-“
Orion:”oh shut up”
Theo: "I'd feel free, I could cause chaos. Without a care in the world"
Orion:”fucking rude- how would you react if it was Krit then?”
Void,Krit and Nel: *On a raft for some reason*
Krit:*pushes Nel in the water*
Void:”why’d you do that?”
Nel:”YEAH WHY’D YOU DO THAT KRIT”
Krit:”I don’t know felt right”
*Theo, minding his own dang business*
Orion: What would you do if, one day...there was an awful curse placed on everyone, that everyone would have to which bodies with the person next to them?
Theo: That depends, who's the person next to me in this scenario?
Orion: Me
Theo: F*cking cry.
Orion: Wha-
Theo: Because I'd have to live my life, knowing that I'm ugly...and...I'm a poor as h3ll asshat-
Krit:”I made this friendship bracelet for you”
Theo:”you know I’m not really a jewellery person”
Krit:”you don’t have to wear it”
Theo:*putting it on* “no I’m going to wear it forever back off.”
Nel: krit...whatcha got there bud?
Krit, holding his amethyst geode stuff: uhhhh a smoothie:DD
Faye: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Theo: What's that?
Faye: Remorse code.
Theo: I'm even angrier now.
Theo: Elodie, I need some advice.
Elodie: You need advice from ME?
Theo: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?
Theo: Elodie, I need some advice.
Elodie: You need advice from ME?
Theo: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?
Void: I have a bad feeling about this...
Faye: What do you mean?
Void: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Faye: No?
Theo: That actually explains so much.
Faye: Elodie likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.
*Elodie is cleaning the house and they find an empty bottle of orange juice*
Elodie: Clear orange juice?
Elodie: Oh, it's empty.
Captain, who has been watching the entire time: I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot.
Faye : Did you know that atoms never touch each other?
Theo: *nods in confusion, signaling for her to "go on..."*
Faye : ...and since we're made of atoms...
Faye : We've never touched anything in our lives...
*Theo, looking at his little sister in confusion. Signaling to her that he has no f()cking clue what she's trying to prove here*
Faye : So to answer your question, No.
I did not punch that child...