Four days have passed since Taehyung and Jungkook's last encounter and also since they have last seen each other.
Taehyung still hasn't returned to Jimin either even though he said he'll make his arrival to his husband after two days but he was so caught up in his mom's warm embrace back in his parent's penthouse that he didn't even consider leaving the house anytime soon.
But he can't hide from reality for the rest of his life, now can he?
Taehyung would be white lying to himself if he says he didn't miss Jungkook in these four days. There was a time when his fingers would tingle to pick up the phone and dial the younger's number just to listen to his silvery voice. But then he realize he has broke his phone and didn't buy a new one yet. There were moments when he would be struck by the strong urge to take his car keys and drive back to Jungkook's place but he knows he should control himself.
He asked for space for a reason.
He knows that the distance between them is actually helping him to find his true feelings and the untold answers, the break is actually working because he has finally realized that inside his heart, somewhere in the corner, he has some indefinable sentiments for the young attorney. That he's not oblivious or confused anymore. He does realize that he feels something for the younger lad. Or else why would he miss someone that badly? Why would there be times when he would become restless just to get a glimpse of Jungkook?
It's almost like an addiction to illegal drugs and he had to busy himself with his mother to get rid of Jungkook's peculiar thoughts from inside his head and subside the inner penchant to run back to the younger like a desperate puppy.
His plumpy lips stretch themselves into an endearing smile at the mere realization that he does feel for Jungkook and that too romantically. That means he can give them a try, he doesn't have to drown himself in the pool of guilt knowing the younger loves him while he can't even return his feelings. But most importantly, his heart rests in serenity knowing that his heart no longer yearns for Jimin like it always used to, which is, to Taehyung, a good sign since he genuinely wants to get out of this relationship as soon as possible.
As much as it is now almost unbelievable for Taehyung to accept the fact that the person who he used to cry for, the person he could sacrifice his mental health for, the person he used to crave love and affection from and only from him, the person he tried so hard to gain back is the same person now who he despises to return to. He doesn't want to retreat to Jimin? It almost sounds funny at the moment.
Oh, how people's emotions can change from I can die for you to I don't give a fuck about you.
Human emotions are sure mesmerizing, dark, and silly at the same time.
As much as he abhors to face Jimin again or even breathe in the same air as him, he still has to return to the older male since they are not divorced yet and are still 'husbands' to the miscellaneous eyes of the society. And also because the apartment belongs to him, his own home.
So here he was, standing in front of his apartment front door. Mentally preparing himself before pulling out the keys, inserting the tip inside the metal hole and then twisting it which triggered some vigors inside the lock and the door opened with a light, almost faint 'click' sound.
Taehyung took a deep breath before pushing the door open and was immediately met with an odd silence lingering in the thick air of his living room. He furrowed his eyebrows first but then a scoff instantly escaped through his lips tilted upward into a bitter smirk remembering when did his husband ever spend a proper night in this apartment anyway?
Taehyung also didn't fail to notice how his heart used to feel a sharp painful pang whenever he would come to an empty apartment is the same heart that is feeling relieved for not having to experience his husband's presence around him.
But oh well, seems like he thought too soon because as soon as he placed the suitcase on the living room carpet, Jimin also came out of their bedroom in a white rob, freshly showered.
Both of them widened their eyes as soon as their gazes landed on each other.
But what surprises Taehyung is the enormous smile taking over Jimin's pretty face and the guy immediately runs forward to Taehyung, throwing his slim arms around the taller male's neck and hugging him tightly.
If I say Taehyung was shocked would be an understatement. Because he was beyond petrified. His heart started to hammer in his chest at the proximity of skin against skin. His arms were still floating above the air while he stare at nothing as his naturally fierce foxy eyes turned round at the unexpected action.
After a few seconds, Taehyung's arms wrap around Jimin's petite waist. Not because he wanted it, but because he felt like he have to return the favor out of human tendency or else he will appear to be rude.
"I missed you, Taehyungie." Jimin's stifled voice resonated inside the younger's ears, muffled because his face was shoved into the broad chest of his taller husband.
Taehyung gulped and wander his eyes around the living room, he doesn't know why but he was feeling extremely awkward hugging the shorter male. He didn't even feel like touching him let alone hugging him, but again, he didn't want to be rude just because he wants separation from Jimin. After all, The shorter male still once used to be the closest person in his life, his best friend.
He can't just throw him away like he never felt anything toward him before.
Taehyung cleared his throat slightly before his chest vibrates when he started to speak. "Uhm, yeah. I—I missed you too." He mumbled, lips forming into a straight thin line. His arms barely wrapping around Jimin's frame, it's like, they were just. . .there.
The silver head frown and removed his face from Taehyung's chest to peer at the attractive face gazing down at him. They pulled away slowly, or more like, Jimin wanted to stay but Taehyung was pulling away until they were standing with a reasonable distance between them.
"Did you just land?" Jimin asked, Taehyung was confused for a second before it clicked to him what exactly his husband is talking about.
"Uh, yeah! Yeah, I just—just landed." Taehyung answered while he turn around to take his suitcase with him again.
"Okay, then. You must be hungry. I'll make a quick dinner for you till you freshen up." Jimin offered, biting his lips as his gaze never left Taehyung's frame who was busy pulling out the handle of the suitcase again so that he can whirl the heavy thing inside his bedroom.
Taehyung froze on his spot when he heard what the older just said. He looks up since he was bending a little to pull out the handle because it, somehow, got stuck. His thick eyebrows curved into a perfect wavy silhouette. Jimin is willing to make dinner for him?
What's gotten into him?
"Uh, I mean, sure?" Taehyung responded but it came out more like a question since he's unsure if Jimin was for real with his words. What if the silver head is just joking and leave him inside the apartment all alone?
But his inner thoughts were intruded when Jimin smiled brightly and jogged towards the kitchen to make dinner for his husband. Taehyung slowly straightens his posture while he peers at Jimin with an ambiguous gaze. But soon a hiss escaped through his gritted teeth when the handle of the suitcase suddenly pops out, hurting the tip of his nail in the process.
He licked his lips as he gaze down at the now red finger with his eyebrows curved downward in irritation, but the pain was long forgotten when his attention again went back to Jimin who already started to heat the pans to make the dinner.
Why is everyone around him only confusing him?
🥀
After the shower session, Taehyung came out of his bedroom and made his way toward the dining table while rolling up the sleeves of his white t-shirt. The dinner was already served while Jimin was waiting for the younger to join him.
Taehyung eyes the mouth-watering food before his monolid eyes pertained with Jimin's almond one. He showed a small, tight-lipped smile to the older male before pulling the chair backward and sitting down on it. "Thank you for the dinner." He showed his gratitude, taking the metal chopsticks and ready to dig in.
Jimin smiled down at his husband, his eyes disappearing at the process. But then a grimace slowly started to mask his feature and the smile deliberately faded away when his eyes landed on the almost fade-up tattoo printed on Taehyung's neck.
It's been five days since Taehyung got that tattoo, almost a week so the tattoo was already fading away. Thankfully the initial JK was completely gone and is what left behind is the chiot, even though the words were almost unreadable as well.
"Did you get a tattoo?" Taehyung froze on his spot as he tried hard to not cough out the food from inside his mouth. He slowly went for the glass of water and gulps down a few sips before looking at Jimin, as to not make anything suspicious.
"Yeah, I did. Actually, I assembled with a few friends of mine and we hung out in a bar. We kinda made a fun wager and I lost so I had to get an interim tattoo. Nothing biggie." Taehyung made up an excuse while he sips from the glass of water again, not daring to even look up and meet his gaze with the older's skeptical one.
"Oh." Jimin let out but he still wasn't convinced because he thought Taehyung was with the person he's been seeing recently? But soon, he brush off the thoughts thinking it was all in his head and Taehyung probably- actually -went on a business trip, so he masked his discomfort with a smile. "Anyway, I'm glad at least you had fun on your business trip."
Taehyung just nodded while he proceeds to slurp down the ramen, eyes glued to the translucent table, not wanting to extend the conversation anymore.
There was a pause as silence emitted in the whole apartment, only the faint noises of eating sounds were lagging in the air before Jimin's voice yet again slice through it. "So, won't you tell me about the person you're seeing recently?" Jimin asked out of the blue or more like, curiosity led him to raise this topic all of a sudden. Actually, when he said he was being restless ever since Taehyung confessed about his affair, he meant it. The guy has trouble sleeping at night the whole time Taehyung was on his 'business trip'. And the fact that the younger didn't even deny it when he was asked if he was flying with the person he's seeing recently was making him wonder what the older actually was doing throughout his little 'trip'.
His head was hanging low and the tips of the silver metal chopstick lazily poked the food.
Taehyung slowly chews on the sliced duck breast while he eyes his husband from time to time. He gulped down the food after finishing chewing it, "You tell me, when are you exactly going to tell me?" Taehyung asked calmly as he moved his wrist in a circular motion to wrap the ramen around the metal stick.
Jimin tensed up in his spot after hearing it. Did Taehyung find out? "Tell you—tell you what?" he asked, heart hammering in his chest hoping it's something else and as if he was god's favorite, as if God heard him and also responded to his instant prayers, the question was indeed turned out to be something else but way worse.
"When are you deciding to sign the divorce paper?" Taehyung asked, piercing monolid eyes looking up to peer at the short male.
Jimin sighed and looks down at his food again, his thick plumpy lips stretching into a bitter smirk, "So you were really serious about it?" He muttered out.
"What makes you think that I was joking?" Taehyung asked while he puts down the chopstick beside the edge of the plate and took the bowl of mushroom soup instead.
"Maybe because you still didn't answer my question? Who is actually the person? Or—or is there even a person in the first place?" Jimin asked as his curious almond eyes peered at Taehyung who was silently sipping the soup from the big spoon. "Are you lying to me, Taehyung? Because it's hard to believe that someone like you is having an affair behind my back—"
"Do you know dogs are usually known as the loyal ones?" Taehyung cut off the older while still maintaining his gaze over the bowl of translucent soup. Jimin frowned in confusion but let the younger continue, "They are usually adorable, cute, fluffballs and is extremely protective over their owner only if their owner is treating them right." Taehyung paused only to look up and stare back at Jimin deep into his eyes.
"But once you start to mistreat them, they can bite back."
There was something lingering through Taehyung's orbs that made Jimin extremely anxious and uncomfortable. He felt weird in his stomach and he felt like throwing up from the uneasy feeling bubbling inside him. After all, he never witnessed his husband giving him such a bizarre look. So opaque and frigid. Almost emotionless but he still could figure out some sentiments that he wishes he wasn't able to witness because it is now making his heart wrench painfully.
Hatred, he saw hatred for him.
"I was loyal to you, wasn't I? But you never value it. You decided to ignore it and doubt me instead. I was so in love with you but all you did was mistreated and disrespect my love for you." Taehyung exclaimed as he tilted his head to the side, "You were breaking me slowly and slowly throughout this whole pilgrimage of us being husbands and now that you are flourishing in thoroughly breaking me don't pretend as if you regret it now." Taehyung tilted his head to the side with a deep grimace as he clamored his words that one by one pierce through Jimin's heart and make him bleed internally.
"How can you still expect me to be in love with you? Who do you take me as? Someone, whose selfless? Someone who's a pathetic piece of shit who'll love you till the end no matter how negligently you treat me?" Taehyung knows he was being aggressive at this point but he needed it. He needed to tell Jimin what damage he has done to him which is impossible to forget or even wipe off of from his memory with a single sorry.
He needed to take out his frustration on the person who did this to him instead of someone else. After all, He's angry, beyond angry.
Jimin's head was hanging low the whole time as he continuously peers down at the food but he could barely see anything because of the heavy blurring that was stimulated by the tears brimming into his orifices.
"Jimin, if you think you'll keep mistreating me and I will keep loving you like an arbitrary, then you're wrong. I have limits too, I have deadlines too that you've disappointingly crossed." Taehyung finished before he stands up. He has told whatever he needed to and he doesn't feel like expending the conversation anymore.
He even lost his appetite to eat the food. So he turned around on his heels and started to walk away but a loud shriek from Jimin forced him to halt on his spot. "But I love you now! I really do! Please, I know, I fucking know sorry can't solve anything but at least give me a chance." Jimin begged as he scooted up from his chair and supported his upper weight by placing both of his palms over the roof of the table. His voice came out vulnerable and he cried out, not being able to hold back anymore.
Taehyung sighed and his shoulders dropped visibly. He slightly turns around, enough to peer at his husband. "I wish you said those three words long ago with this same benevolence in your voice, then maybe, maybe I would get butterflies? However, at this moment, even your confession, the moment I've waited for so long doesn't sway me anymore. So I'm afraid there's no point in giving you a second chance, Chim." Taehyung illustrated watching Jimin freezing in his spot but the tears were never deciding on stopping anytime soon. They were like waterfalls, persistent and hysterical.
"Even if I do, I would only give you a second chance, not myself." Taehyung finished and instantly turn around back to look away from the older because as much as he's angry at his husband, as much as he's disappointed and swelling with a contemporary hatred, he still can't witness the silver head wetting his face and making a whole mess while he cries like a baby.
So Taehyung took long steps towards the guestroom and gently closed the door shut. As soon as the door shut closed and the younger lad disappeared from his sight, Jimin's whole body slumped over the chair limply.
All he could do was cry now and he knows he deserves it. After all, he brought it to himself. He destroyed a possible happily married life with Taehyung with his own bare hands.
Regret is a harsh slap to all the bad decisions we make indeed but the worst part is, when you regret, there's no going back.
🥀
As soon as morning arrived, the sun didn't hold back itself from spreading its golden rays into the silent room through the thin curtains. But even though the rays were as bright as the sun, the room still felt gloomy and vague.
Maybe because when the bedroom was supposed to be for a couple to wake up in the morning with light giggles and warm cuddles with a positive note, there was an empty cold bed instead where a small frame was sleeping at the very edge, curling into a small ball.
The sides of his cheeks have visible dried tears and his eyelids were puffy enough to judge that he was crying.
He flutter his tired lids open when the bright sunlight fell over his closed orbs. Jimin stirred in his position, turning around on his back and looking at his side, feeling the empty cold side of the bed with the pad of his palm where Taehyung used to sleep.
Not like he has much experience waking up to Taehyung sleeping beside him in the morning. He always used to make an excuse to spend his night outside in some hotel or when his lover would be available to give him time, he would spend his night back in the bungalow. But not with Taehyung because it used to feel wrong to spend a night with someone who he doesn't even love. Especially when he has another man in his heart.
But now? Now he regrets not waking up to Taehyung. He regrets that he didn't give them a chance. He regrets not realizing sooner that just like he has neglected Taehyung throughout these two years, the same way he was also being neglected by his lover but he was too blind in love to realize it.
He regrets everything, his whole existence to the point. But he knows it's too late to change anything now.
With a heavy heart and tired limbs, Jimin forces himself to get off of the bed, silver hair forming into a puddled mess as he drags his feet towards the bedroom door and pulls it open.
Climbing down the stairs, his eyes caught a glimpse of his husband's back. He furrowed his eyebrows and hurriedly ran down to see the man was already dressed up in his office attire, a blue suit while tying the laces of his shoes.
After Taehyung was done lacing the shoe laces, he raised his head and turn around to see his sleepy yet not-so-sleepy husband standing there by the edge of the stairs.
"Good morning, Chim. You were sleeping pretty belatedly today. I've already made breakfast, so don't worry." Taehyung informed with a tight-lipped smile and went forward towards the shoe rack to get his car keys that were hanging right over it.
"I'm leaving for work," He acquainted his husband again and opened the front door but then suddenly stopped on his track, it looks like he got reminded of something. The taller male turns around and gazes back at Jimin with hesitant eyes. "Oh, yeah. Also, last night you were saying you thought I was not serious about the divorce." Taehyung started and as soon as the topic dropped, Jimin's stomach twisted painfully, an adrenaline rush started to rush through his veins and his heart began to drum inside his chest loudly.
"If you open the drawer of the nightstand, you can find our divorce paper there. I've already signed it." Taehyung clenched his fists and tighten his jaw when he saw tears again brimming into Jimin's almond pretty eyes. He was trying hard to not melt and give up. He was trying his best to stop himself from canceling the divorce just by looking at Jimin's vulnerable state.
But he choose to be selfish this time. After the recklessness he received from his husband, the negligence, and poor treatment, he can't forget he was also in Jimin's shoes once. There was a time he used to cry to sleep and wake up with puffy red eyes. He was just like the way Jimin is right now.
Yes, he is willing to forgive Jimin for everything but can he forget his actions? Never. And the fact that Jimin's presence doesn't even give him that one euphoric feeling he used to infer is a solid sign that he's falling out of love.
So what's the point now?
Taehyung licked his lips and sighed heavily. His heart was feeling heavy seeing Jimin like that. He still has a soft side for the shorter male and it seems like it won't fade away anytime soon. "Chim, I know I'm being rude to you now. I'm being harsh to you but I'm sorry, I can't anymore. I need you to sign those papers." Taehyung let out in a serious tone but it came out more like begging as his fierce eyes turned downward woefully.
"And if you don't sign the papers I have to—" Taehyung paused to look away before finishing the next line, "I have to file a case against you." He finishes, not even bothering to raise his gaze to see how Jimin's eyes went deliberately wide and a lone tear slid down through his porcelain skin.
Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut when he was met with nothing but silence. He took a sharp breath, not being able to handle the heavy uncomfortable silence lingering around him and suffocating him, the CEO whirled around on his heels and walk out of the apartment without a word.
As soon as the door closed shut, Jimin ran upward the stairs with tear-stained cheeks and wet burning eyes. He dashed inside his and Taehyung's shared bedroom and headed straight towards the nightstand, pulling out the first drawer and his heart immediately dropped seeing the divorce paper placed right there as promised.
He pulls out the papers from the little space in the drawer as his hands started to show signs of tremor. The silver head slides the first page to the side and his heart breaks for the nth time seeing Taehyung's delicate signature printed over the off-white paper in black ink.
And as if this wasn't enough to completely break him and make him miserable, his phone suddenly vibrated, catching his attention with a text notification hovering over the light-up screen.
Jimin went forward to take his phone from the nightstand with his free hand, sliding into the DM's only to get pummeled by a huge wave of an anxiety attack when he saw what the text message was about.
The phone gradually slide down from his light grip and whacked over the floor as the silver head stand there solely, mystify.