ryan wakes up and stares at the ceiling with his beautiful chocolate colored orbs and he pulls out a cugarette. already he wants to go back to sleep, but he has breakfast with brendon.
his dog, jeffrey, jumpps on the bed and starts licking his face "omg jeffreyyy ur so goofy get off of me" he says with a crooked smile and he fetches a cigarette. he is already tired again, for some reason lately hes not wanting to be around brendon. hes always felt like that but recently... he just feels off around brendon and cant stand the sight of him anymore. but they r in a band together so like watever xD the show must go on.
he heads into the bathroom and stares at himself in the mrirror. his eyebags are dark and he has a headache from the night before. wowww crazy partying happened, there were like, girls everywhere and drugs and stuff. he got super high, hes hungover and you could see it if you look close enough. he pulls at his eyes with an annoyed groan and gets dressed. today he will be wearing a red flower crown, a black t shirt, black skinny jeans and black hightops with a red vest to match the flower crown. he finds himself checking himself out in the mirror, stressing about his hair and face more than usual. hes scared of what brebdon thinks... but why??
he decides to push these thoughts away and walks to the diner a few blocks away. brendon is already sitting there, ryan stares at him a little too long before brendon turns around and waves flamboyantly, "heyyy girlll yasss" brandon waves ryan over and ryan cant help but feel his face heat up. that guy is always drawing attention to himself and others, its superrr annoying. ryan walks over and sits in the booth across, pulling out another cigarette.
"soooo, about the lyrics..." brendon starts, trying to break the awkward silence between them. ryan cant help but notice brendons sweet smelling cologneO_O, the way his lips look when he talks and- "what about them?" he replies, pushing his thoughts further away. they were wrong, and just intrusive- thats not how he really thought of brendon, was it?
"its just.... i don't know. your lyrics are perfect, really," brendan doesn't seem to know how to continue his sentence, "could i edit them a little? we could do that, together." ryan furrows his eyebrows, slightly annoyed. "uh, sure. i guess." brindin beams at him, beams his beautiful smile that always seems to brighten the world just a little bit, and suddenly ryan isnt annoyed anymore. "girlll slay. okay, we can work on that later. the second track on our new album just needs a little more... uh, whats the word?" he taps on the table, lost in thought now.
"pizzazz?" i add, trying to help out and he snaps his fingers, "yes, exactly ry! pizzazz." he smiles, he doesn't know how he makes ryan feel at all. ryans hands feel all clammy. (he is sooo tottaly in luvvv xD)
"hello, i see you have a new addition to the table..." the waitress says, "what can i do for you?" ryan stares at the menu, not really processing the words. something about brendon being nearby drives him wild and distracts him. "ah... just some coffee would be good." ryan sighs, he doesn't actually like coffee. he just got nervous and picked something random, which he normally doesn't do, what is up with him today? must be how hungover he is...
"sooo..." brendon isnt looking at ryan anymore and instead picking at his nails. its always like this between them now, awkward silences without knowing what to even talk about.
"oh my god, is that brendin urie?!" a girl pops up out of seemingly nowhere. ryan gives her a glare telling her to f### off and it works, for now.
ryan bites the inside of his cheek, "i should probably get going..." and brandon nods, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "do you wanna come with?" ryan brings himself to ask, his heart beating faster and brendon just responds with another nod. he seems nervous too.
they decide to go to the bus to get to a shopping mall thats not in walking distance. the bus is empty, except for the bus driver who is humming happily. at the next stop, which is not theirs, the driver turns around. ryan recognizes him immediately, "omg billl! hey girl!" brendon runs up to the front, "OMG! brendonn, i havent seen you in foreverr! girl, you are rocking that outfit, slayyy!" they hug eachother and after brendon spins around, showing off his outfit. william claps and cheers while ryan sits rather uncomfortably.
ryan avoids looking at the boy, his heart beating faster. brindins flower crown and pastel clothing just looks so good... the way his t shirt makes his arms- ryan shakes his head. these thoughts are wrong.
"uh, ryan? we're at our stop..." brndin says, tapping him on the shoulder. "oh. yeah, we are...sorry i kinda spaced out..." brendon smiles reassuringly and they both walk off the bus, brendon skipping on the way out.
brendon points to a store in the distance, the outside covered in flowers and the name in fancy writing. his orbs sparkle and his hair bounces in the wind, "OMG!!! thats my like, fav store everrr!" he seems really excited so ryan just goes with it, "alright, lets go then..." he cant help but try to make brendon happy no matter what.
they walk to the store and spend what seems like forever looking at clothes, well, mostly brendon looking at clothes and ryan following behind until brendon deems he has enough and wants to try them on.
he heads into the dressing room. ryan is sitting on a stool just outside, looking at his watch and feeling bored already.
the other boy steps out of the dress room, the shirt is beautiful on him and all his features are brought out. ryan cant help but stare, "do you like it?" bronden seems concerned. ryan clears his throat, he was probably staring too hard and it came off as him hating it.
"uh, no... i like it, actually." ryan avoids eye contact but the image of brendon wearing that doesn't leave his mind.
after a long while of shopping, even brendon is tired. he loves these kinds of things, ryans surprised they werent out even later.
"i can carry one of your bags for you... if you want, that is." ryan offers. once again, he doesn't know why hes doing this... he usually wouldn't offer that for anyone. hes been told he comes off as rude sometimes but for his best friend, maybe hes different?
brendin smiles, "no, i got it, but thanks." he skips back to the bus stop as ryan follows behind with a lighter and a cigarette.
they both sit, waiting for the next bus to arrive. "you want one, bren?" ryan offers a cigarette, holding it out to him. "OMG. thank you." he takes it and lights it, putting the cigarette between his perfect lips.
ryan stares and then immediately goes back to staring in front of him. his eyes move up to the clouds, staring them in awe before his mind is interrupted of thoughts about brendon. images of the clothing shop flood his mind. "are you okay ryan?" worry is spread across brendons face. "no uh, im fine, i swear." he internally facepalms :P
the bus finally arrives and this time its packed full and bill isn't the driver. brenda and ryan head inside, stuck in the middle together really up close. ryan can feel brendons breath against his neck and immediately moves a little farther, lowering his head down hoping none of their fans recognize him. his heart is beating fast, he looks back at brendon.
brendon is looking at the floor too, but ryans eyes linger on his side profile... the shape of his nose, the way his eyelashes curl up. he just cant take his eyes off him.
someone bumps ryan and pushes him closer by accident, "im so sorry bren!" he stammers, "umm, girl its okay. don't worry!" brendon flashes that beautiful smile and ryan turns to stare elsewhere. anywhere.
thats when brendon finally gets to his stop first. the bus empties a little more and ryan can finally breathe. ryan watches as brendin leaves the bus, slightly sad but he knows soon they'll have to work on songs together- they can't keep procrastinating doing other stuff.
the moment ryan gets home he flops down on the couch. jeffrey jumps beside him, licking at his face and brightening ryans day a little.
his mind cant get away from brendon for too long. its frustrating, driving ryan crazy.
he sits there in silence for a while, trying and trying to focus on anything else and thats when he hears a knock on the door.
"ryan!! let me innn girl!!" its brandon. ryan gets up and reluctantly lets him in, feeling that familiar beat of his heart speeding up just at the sound of brendons voice. "hey." ryan raises an eyebrow, "whats up?" hes confused. brendon doesn't typically show up like this
"slay! okay soooo, mikey and gerard are hosting a totally awesome party and it starts in a few hours!" brendon leans on the doorway. "i was wondering if you wanted to go with me, i don't know them that well sooo..." his voice trails off. ryans heart beats faster. brendon is asking him specifically to go with him to the party? they go to parties together all the time, get high, get drunk- whatever. but hes never asked ryan like this.
ryan mulls it over in his mind, "yeah... i'll go with you." he tries his best to keep the words sturdy, like hes not internally freaking out over this.
brendon flashes his signature smile, "slay! alright, its at their house..." brendon writes down the address on a napkin and heads back out.
it'll be going all night, according to brendon, and that makes so many thoughts run through ryans head. he doesn't like brendon like that, so why is he thinking like this? hes always liked girls, dated so many of them... whats wrong now?