Morgan hadn't stopped texting me since he had left my apartment. I had packed everything. From clothes, to make up, to diapers and toys, I had everything ready. But the more I looked at my bags, the more I started to panic. I can't do this! This is crazy! I can't let a woman I don't even know take care of Ellie. And I can't leave Jared, especially to go with Morgan. He'll never forgive me. I have to make things right with him before anything else. And Ms. Brown would be so sad if Ellie and I left, I couldn't do that to her. The more time I spent thinking about it, the crazier the idea started to feel. I needed to sleep but my mind wouldn't stop. I had been staring at the ceiling for three hours when my phone buzzed, again, on my nightstand.
MORGAN 1:36 AM
Spoke w/ Jared, everything's okay. You'll still have a job when u get back. I'll pick you and Ellie up at 11 AM, be ready <3
I set my phone down, and went back to staring at the ceiling.
***
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock on my nightstand. 7:00 AM. Solid 30 minutes of sleep. I got up and got dressed for work, unable to actually get ready to leave everything behind. I saw Ms. Brown walking up the stairs as I was getting down, probably on her way back from dropping Ellie off at daycare.
"Hi Ms. Brown," I smiled.
"Oh, hi darling, how are you this morning?"
"I'm okay, I guess."
"I saw the gentleman leaving your apartment last night. That is a good looking man," she giggled.
"Ms. Brown!" I said, putting a hand on my chest, mockingly pretending to be offended. She laughed.
"What's an old lady like me to do if not take a peep!" We both laughed.
"He wants me to follow him to Tennessee for three months," I admitted, secretly fishing for advice.
"Oh darling, how exciting!" she said, to my surprise.
"You wouldn't be upset if Ellie and I left?"
"Upset? For what, honey? I can't be mad at you for living your life! Life is full of little adventures and I've had mine already. But I will miss you, that is, if you decide to leave. Hopefully you still come by and knock on my door every once in a while," she said, pinching my cheek lightly.
"You truly are the sweetest woman to ever walk the earth," I said, pulling her in for a hug.
"You deserve everything that life has to offer, Aubrey. It's not everyday that God sends you someone who makes your heart beat a little faster. Be happy, my darling."
I thanked her and smiled to myself as I made my way towards my car. I kept thinking about what she'd said while I drove to the clinic. What if she was right? What if by not going I would miss out on an incredible life experience. But what if she's wrong. My life is good. I like my life. I like working with Jared, and spending my weekends with Ellie. I like being a hands-on mom and being self-sufficient. I can't just give up my independence to follow someone I barely know.
I pulled into the clinic's parking lot and headed inside. I bumped into Jared on my way in.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I mumbled.
"So, you and Morgan huh?"
"I don't know, Jared. Honestly, I don't know."
"He said you were going on tour with him."
"I'm not sure anymore," I admitted.
"I don't think I should weigh in on this. Either way you'll think I'm trying to steal your freedom, or screw Morgan over."
"So, you don't think I should go," I concluded.
"I didn't say that, I'm not saying anything."
"Jared, you're one of the people who knows me best. I trust your judgment. Help me out here?" I begged.
"Why should I, Brey? I trusted you, I really did. I introduced you to my friends because I wanted you to understand me better. To see where I came from. And look where that got me. You don't want to take my advice," he chuckles dryly. "Excuse me," he said, walking past me. I sighed. There was no way I could leave now. No way I could leave things like that between Jared and I. My phone buzzed in my pocket for what felt like the 100th time since last night.
MORGAN 7:58 AM
Baby, is everything okay..?
Shit. I couldn't keep on ignoring his texts, I had to tell him the truth.
AUBREY 8:00 AM
I can't do it, I'm sorry
MORGAN 8:00 AM
Please don't do this.. I already told my mom, she's so excited to meet you, and Ellie...
My heart sank reading that. I didn't want to hurt him. That was the truth. The way he'd spoken to me the night before had changed my perception of him. I genuinely thought he was a good person deep down, and the last thing I wanted was to leave him high and dry, but I couldn't just uproot my life like that. I couldn't leave things the way they were with Jared. After everything he'd done for me, sticking by me through thick and thin, I couldn't just desert him like that. I had more honor than that.
AUBREY 8:03 AM
I'm sorry, just forget about me.
"An emergency?" Jared asked, standing behind me, ready to tell me to put my phone away.
"I just told Morgan I wouldn't go with him," I admitted.
"Oh," he said. "Because of me..?" he asked.
"And other things."
"Don't stop yourself on my account," he said coldly.
"Jared..."
"What?"
"I fucked up, I know I did. But, c'mon... What can I do to make things go back to the way they were? I don't want to lose you over this. You're way more important than any other guy to me."
He sighed, scratching the back of his head.
"You hurt me, Brey. I want us to go back to being friends, but you can't ask me to just forget that anything ever happened. I wish I could, I do. But things just don't work like that. But I forgive you, if that means anything. I'm not mad at you, you're fine."
"I respect that, I'll do what I can to gain your trust back. You don't have to worry about me running away with your friend, that won't happen," I assured him. He smiled at me.
"Alright, get to work Ms. Farrell," he said jokingly.
***
I put Ellie to bed and turned my phone back on. 8 missed calls, all from Morgan. I knew I had gotten his hopes up and let him down. The thought of him being disappointed in me made me sick. I genuinely felt like we had had a connection that night. Even Mama Jo seemed to think so.
He was the first person I'd brought to Kemp's Dive Bar since my dad had passed. I wanted to see where things could go between us, but I couldn't do it to other people's expense. My phone rang. I picked up, already knowing who it was.
"Hello?"
"Please change your mind," he said, audibly hurt.
"Morgan, I can't. I-"
"You know what sucks, Aubrey? It's that when we first met you actually liked me. We genuinely hit it off at that game and we had an awesome night and amazing sex and then you took it upon yourself to google me and that ruined everything. It's always the same thing. Whenever I meet a girl that I actually like and think 'If all goes well, there's a very real possibility that this lady could be my wife someday', everytime it goes back to this. She's either in it for the money, or the fame, or even just to tell her dumb friends that she fucked Morgan Wallen as if that would get her bonus points or something. And with you it was actually different. You had no idea who I was and for a minute there I really thought you wouldn't care. But, you'd rather believe everyone's two cents about me, people that have never even met me.You'd rather believe that than to actually get to know me. Yeah I fucked up a couple times, and yeah there's a whole bunch of tiktoks of me drunk off my ass, making out with a dozen Alabama sorority girls, but did you even bother to ask me what happened? No, of course not. You don't care what let me there, you don't care about me, just care about what other people think of me. You're just like the rest of them," He snapped before hanging up. I sat there, looking at my phone, hoping he would call back, but he didn't. I should have listened to Ms. Brown. My hands were shaking and I felt like I was about to throw up. He was right. The minute I had seen what strangers were saying about him I had stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt. As if he wasn't a real person, with real feeling, that could potentially feel hurt by my actions. I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said about seeing me as a potential wife. The worst part was that I felt that way about him too. I wished I'd never looked him up. I'd give anything to go back to that night. Why did I have to go and complicate things... I felt a warm tear roll down my left cheek. C'mon, Aubrey, don't fucking cry. I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, trying to regulate my emotions. I fucked everything up. He really isn't coming back this time.
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Thank you to everyone who took the time to vote and comment! You have no idea how happy it makes me to see that some of you genuinely like this story! Hopefully you like this update!
xo
LadyBug