Charlotte purposely dragged her feet to charms, watching the halls empty out before her, finally reaching the classroom and slipping in silently, scanning through the room and sighing as she met Sirius's eyes, which had been trained on the doorway. His leg was bouncing nervously beneath the desk, though his face lit up a bit as he saw her, nodding her towards the empty desk beside him.
Lily and Mary were sitting in the row ahead of him, Remus and Peter at the table beside them, James and a slightly amused looking Marlene across from Sirius's half empty desk. The classrooms were thankfully emptier than previous years, due to a good amount of students dropping subjects that they didn't think would help them in their future careers after O.W.L's.
She stepped over to an open table across the room from her house-mates, sliding into the seat and plunging her hand into her book bag, gathering the materials onto her desk as an excuse to avoid looking at her friends.
"Blondie?" Sirius's voice came from above her, though she didn't look up to him, flipping through the pages of their charms book and squinting towards the front of the room for the page number. "Charlotte." He spoke softer, leaning against the table, cocking his head to meet her eyes.
"Mr. Black, if you'd kindly pick a seat, we'll get started!" Flitwick announced from the front and Sirius scurried into the spot beside Charlotte, ignoring her sigh as she tucked her leg over her knee, leaning towards the edge of the desk. "We're going to continue our work on our confundus charms from last week. Your essays will be due in four days, so I encourage anyone who has any questions to get them out today!"
"Blondie, please talk to me." Sirius hissed, leaning his head down on the table and looking up to Charlotte's blue eyes, which were trying very hard not to meet his. "I've been looking everywhere for you. How are you feeling?"
"Fine, Sirius." She replied under her breath, glancing down to the paragraph Flitwick was referring to, ignoring the feeling of his gaze locked on her.
"Are you really? Because James said he thought your head was still hurting at lunch, because you-"
"Sirius." Her eyes shot to his at last, though it didn't make him feel any better. "I'm trying to listen."
"Right..." He nodded, bringing his book to his desk as well, glancing at the page number from hers. "Can we talk after class? Or at dinner?"
"I don't want to talk to you." She answered at once, not looking towards the dark haired boy anymore, his stomach sinking.
"Blondie, come on, please..." He begged, "I'm so sorry, you know I'm sorry." He paused, waiting for her response. For any response. Even if it stung like the last one had. "How come you'll talk to James?" He asked, bitterly, nearly regretting it when her eyes rolled back at him.
"I'm talking to you now." Charlotte bit back. "I just wish I wasn't."
"It was an accident!" Neither of them were listening to Flitwick's lesson anymore, though Charlotte assumed Sirius didn't care.
"You're lucky it was me that wandered into it." She snapped, "If you'd left it for a Slytherin this morning, they'd have drowned. Who knows if there would have been anyone around to save them-"
"I... Charlotte, it wasn't... lucky..." Sirius's face fell into a mixture of guilt and remorse, eyes still glued to hers as she scribbled some attempt at notes from a lecture she was hardly listening to. "I would never have wanted-"
"You take it too far, Sirius. All of you." She corrected.
"I know. I know. It was stupid, we all regret it. I regret it, Charlotte, I would never do anything to hurt you-"
"Okay." She cut him off, ignoring the guilt that was seeping into her chest. Maybe he was sorry. Maybe he did regret it. She was sure that he hadn't wanted to hurt her. That didn't change his smirk that morning when she had woken up in his bed. The jokes, the callous attitude when she had woken up so confused. The comment about Remus, whether it was true or not.
"Are you saying okay so that I'll stop talk-"
"Yes."
Sirius stopped, holding in a deep breath as he watched her scribble more notes down, though none of the ideas seemed to flow together. He was bothering her. Obviously. He knew he should stop. That he should give her some space. He just didn't think he could bear her not looking at him again for... who knows how long.
"Okay." He repeated, softly. "I'm here if you need anything, okay? If your head's hurting or any-"
Charlotte's hand plunged through the air, already shutting the cover to her book as Flitwick called her name.
"Sorry, Professor, I'm not feeling well. May I be excused?" She spoke clearly, Flitwick nodding at once.
"Of course, Miss Harris. Please do let me know if you have any questions before the essay, you know where to find me."
"Thank you." She answered, already halfway towards the door, slinging her bag over her shoulder as James shot Sirius a sad look.
☾
It had been two days. Two days of avoiding the boys. Charlotte didn't see how she could have gone five years without them knowing her name to having to duck behind tapestries every time she spotted one of them in the corridors. It didn't help that James and Sirius seemed to be actively seeking her out. She was starting to understand how Lily felt.
"Hi." The voice she hadn't heard in over a week floated through the room. She took a small breath, shutting her book in her lap and turning towards the tall brunette. His brown eyes were scanning over her on the couch as if he'd never seen her before, as if someone might ask him to give them a full description if she were to go missing tonight.
"Hi Remus." She tried for a smile, turning back to her book as if she had any plan to continue reading with him here. Her whole stomach squirmed uncomfortably. She would never know what had happened that night, how she had ended up in his sweater, what she had said, how he actually felt about her anymore. Although, at this point, she was fine keeping it that way.
He stepped closer to the fire, leaning against the arm rest of the oversized chair beside her couch, studying her silently for a few more seconds, unaware of the goosebumps raising on her arms with every passing moment.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, finally, a warmth spreading through her chest.
"I'm much better." She answered, sneaking a look to his eyes. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't look upset.
"Head's alright?" He pressed, still not taking a seat. Charlotte felt as though she was at a doctors appointment, and they were overbooked. He was checking in on her on his way to his next obligation.
"It's fine. I just needed some sleep, I think."
"Good." He nodded to himself. "Why didn't you go to Madam Pomfrey? Just to be safe? Could have gotten the wankers some detention while you were at it."
She laughed for what felt like the first time all day, leaning back into the comfortable couch. "What's one more detention going to do for them? They haven't learned anything from the first four thousand."
Remus chuckled at this, shaking his head and staring off into the fire.
"I know it was an accident anyway. They don't deserve a detention just for being idiots."
"I think that's the premise for all of their detentions." He pointed out, the two sharing a smile in the quiet common room. "If you're not mad, why are you still ignoring Sirius?"
She shrugged. "I'm not ignoring him."
"Yes, you are. It's all I've heard about all week. It's more than his usual level of whining."
"I just wanted a little time." She stopped before adding the 'away from him.'
"Mmm..." Remus hummed in understanding, "That's what the alcove's for." He offered her a smile which she tried to return, although she didn't hold any fond memories of the small niche after their last encounter there together. "I'll see ya." He finally pushed himself from the edge of the chair, starting up the steps as Charlotte set back to her essay. She was nearly halfway through, although missing the second half of the lecture hadn't helped.
The portrait hole opened again and she looked up, hoping to find Lily, or Marlene or Mary, or anyone but...
"Hi Charlotte." Sirius was watching her as if she was lethal, as if she would pounce at any second to bite his head off. He paused a few feet away from the couch she was sat on, waiting anxiously for her response.
"Hi Sirius." She answered, dipping her quill into the well again, hoping he would realize she was working.
"Can I sit with you?" He asked, eyeing the empty space beside her on the couch as she pulled her eyes to his. "To study. I've got homework." He continued, obviously thinking that she was going to object.
"If you want." She answered, moving closer to the edge of the couch, one arm against the arm rest as she flipped through the pages of the charms book. She had barely finished the first sentence when a new parchment was shoved into her lap, the perfect handwriting outlining the entire lecture she had walked out from two days before.
Charlotte glanced up, meeting the soft gray eyes before looking back to the notes in front of her.
"Thought you might need them. I wrote you a copy." Sirius explained, nodding for her to take the parchment, his lips pressing together into a flat line when she finally did, watching as she looked them over.
"Thanks, Siri..." She muttered, looking back to him just as he shrugged, falling silent as he opened his book in his lap, sneaking glances at her every few minutes as she read through the notes.
A little over half an hour later, she twisted the cap into her inkwell, setting her essay on the table before them to dry and looking over at Sirius, who's eyes were glued to what she was sure was the same page he had been on when she had started.
Charlotte pulled her legs up towards her, setting her chin on her knees and watching as the fire licked at the logs, sparks jumping through the smoke before falling blackened to the ground.
"I've missed you." Sirius muttered, softly. She rolled her head towards his, trying her best to bite back the smile spreading on her lips.
"What?"
"You heard me." He answered, kicking his legs onto the coffee table before them.
"Sirius..."
"Are you going to hate me forever?" He cut her off, although she hadn't had any plan of where her sentence was headed.
"I don't hate you." Charlotte answered, easily. It was true. She had missed them too, James's infectious laughter, Peter's random facts and gossip, Sirius's perfect smile, the way his eyes locked onto hers when she spoke, even if no one else was listening.
"Can I get that in writing?" The familiar smirk was making it's way to his lips once again as she let out half a scoff. "Why are you so much more mad at me than James? Or Peter? This would be Pete's second attempt on your life, I'll remind you."
Her eyes skated over him slowly as he cracked his knuckles in his lap, hating the unusually sad look painted onto his face.
"Because the prank was an accident. Making fun of me the next morning wasn't."
His eyes went wide as he turned towards her, his hand catching her arm to pull her gaze back to his.
"I wasn't making fun of you?" He was shaking his head, as if he had no idea what she could be talking about.
"You acted like it was all a big joke, Sirius." She pressed, remembering the smirk he had worn that morning.
"No, Blondie, I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have handled it that way... I was just nervous... that you would wake up and hate me."
"Why would I hate you? This is what you guys do, you play pranks. It was an accident-"
"Not just for the prank." He shook his head, glancing to the ceiling for a moment as she waited for him to go on. "I mean, I'm sure you didn't want to wake up... in my bed."
She pulled her lips through her teeth for a second, ignoring the heat rising to her face. "I wouldn't have minded half as much if you'd just told me what happened, instead of making it seem like..."
He let out half of a laugh, running both hands through his hair before looking back to her. "I wasn't trying to make it seem like that."
She nodded for a while, considering what she was going to say next. Part of her, most of her didn't want the answer, but she had to know. If she was going to have to keep walking on eggshells around Remus for the next two years.
"What about... the Remus thing?" She finally stammered out, Sirius's smile fading away as he looked to her.
"Remus thing?"
"Piss off, Black. You know what I mean." She whined, leaning back against the arm rest and kicking hard into his arm.
"Ouch! Okay! Alright," He chuckled, rubbing softly over his injured arm now, stalling for time. "I lied." He raised his hands in surrender as her eyes flashed wide at him. "Okay, you didn't ask for him. But you did say that you were cold, and you were cold, you had goosebumps and you were shivering and... everyone else was asleep... I just wanted you to warm up."
She huffed, looking back towards the fire. She couldn't tell if she was more annoyed or relieved, yet there was a new sting of embarrassment now that she knew Sirius had made up the lie just to mess with her.
"Blondie," He called, tugging her ankle twice towards him to get her attention before she kicked his hand away.
"Why'd you say I asked for him then?" She turned her attention back towards the dark haired boy across from her.
"Because I'm an idiot." He shot her his best attempt at puppy eyes which she had previously only seen James attempt, rolling hers in response. "Please, Charlotte. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry about all of it. I'm sorry I got you hurt and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry I lied. My life is so dull without you in it, please come back to me-"
She couldn't hold the laughter in any longer, looking over to the boy as his face broke into a grin as well, eyebrows raised as he waited for her to speak.
"You're an expert at groveling." She taunted, the weight from the last few days fading from her chest at Sirius's smile.
"Years of practice." He explained with a smirk.
"Oh, I can imagine. Do you attempt to drown all of them, or do you try to shake things u-" She shrieked as his fingers looped around her ankle, pulling her closer and rolling over her until she was pressed beneath him on the worn couch.
"I did not try to drown you." His voice was low and soft, slipping past his lips as if he was sharing a secret. "And I would never let anything happen to you."
She pressed her lips closed, practically holding her breath now, hoping he couldn't feel the speed that her heart was racing. His gray eyes were still locked on hers, and she was beginning to feel as if there was a severe oxygen shortage in the room.
"Did you really come in after me?" She asked, softly. "You could have gotten stuck under the ice, Sirius, or something could have dragged you-"
"Of course I went after you." His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down to her. "You think I'd let you drown?"
She shook her head, slowly, eyes still latched to his. "No."
Finally, he pushed himself off from her, slouching down onto the couch, kicking his feet onto the table once again as the fire crackled before them. Charlotte sat up, pulling her legs beneath her and leaning her head back beside his on the back of the couch, glancing towards the clock above the fireplace.
"It's late." She muttered, although the tiredness her eyes had felt ten minutes before was long gone now.
"Very observant. Was it the moon or the stars that gave it away?" He teased and she shot him a glare.
"Shouldn't you be on your best behavior around me for at least a day?" She pointed out and he chuckled.
"Fine. You're right." He nodded, rolling his head along the couch and looking down to her face, glowing orange in the light from the fire. "Do you want to go to bed?"
"In a little." She agreed, tucking a piece of her bangs behind her ear and shutting her eyes, feeling the warmth of the fire against her legs.
"No..."
"Please... stop..."
Charlotte's eyes blinked into the dark room, the only light from the faint glow of the remaining embers dying in the fireplace. She glanced to both sides, realizing she had fallen asleep in the common room and sitting up, reaching for the essay which was still sprawled over the table before her.
"Please, don't. Don't!" Charlotte jumped at his voice, looking over to find Sirius on the couch beside her, his body curled up tightly, his head perched against the arm rest. She frowned, leaning back towards him before he let out a shriek like she had never heard before, thrashing away from her on the couch, whimpering.
"Sirius!" She called, her fingers latching onto his arm and shaking him a few times before his eyes flew open, wide and bloodshot, scanning around the room as he jumped up. "Hey, it's okay. Everything's fine."
Sirius gasped in a few more deep breaths, running his fingers along the soft material of the couch before meeting the blue eyes shining through the dark at him.
"Charlotte." He murmured.
"Yeah, it's me." She set her hand on his arm. "Come on, let's go to bed, alright?"
Sirius nodded, climbing to his feet and wandering towards the familiar dormitory stairs through the dark, hearing the blonde's footsteps following behind him. He couldn't remember a time he had felt so tired, yet so awake all at once. They finally reached the boy's dorm, the familiar sound of snoring seeping through the door.
"You okay?" Charlotte whispered through the empty stairwell, setting one hand on his arm when he didn't respond. "Sirius-"
"I'm okay." He nodded at once, reaching for the door handle, his whole body aching for sleep.
"Good," She forced a smile to her face, taking the first step back downstairs. "I'll see you-" Her voice cut off as his fingers wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back to his side, his eyes tired slits, gray peeking through as he looked down to her.
"I'm sorry."
She blinked, sleep still hazing her mind as she tried to remember what he was apologizing for. "What?"
"For saying... about Remus. I'm sorry." He mumbled, seeming more tired with every passing second.
"It's okay, Sirius. I kicked you, we made up, remember?" She teased, leaning against the wall beside him, watching closely to make sure he wouldn't fall over.
"I would treat you better." He said, his voice so soft yet so clear while he had been mumbling only seconds before. "I would treat you so well, Charlotte. Better than he ever could."
Sirius blinked slowly, dropping against the wall with a quiet thud before Charlotte reached out for him, his eyes blinking back open.
"Come on, Siri. You've gotta go to bed." She twisted the door handle and pushed it open silently, one hand on each of his arms as she led him towards the bed she had woken in only days before. Sirius let himself be pushed along until his knees hit the bed frame, falling onto the mattress fully clothed. Charlotte held back the laugh threatening to burst from her lips, yanking back the covers from beneath his body and pulling them to his chest. She looked down to him, already fast asleep, face pressed deep into the pillow as she slipped from the room, waiting for the door to click shut behind her before starting down the stairs to her own dorm.