New Phase
I was sitting on one of the logs around the fire eating the dinner Danielle prepared while talking to Cora. Its been a month since Cora and i got into that fight. We have been trying to restart our friendship which has been working so far.
I glance over at Miguel and see he started yawning so i say goodnight to Cora, Lilley, and Danielle. I walk over to Miguel and grab his hand. "Lets go to bed." I led him over to the tent and unzip it. Miguel crawls in first then I do.
Miguel starts to kiss me as i run my hands through his hair. Both our tongues start to fight for dominance. Things start to escalate from there.
Miguel was on top of me kissing my neck and slid his shaft into me. I gasp in pleasure as he starts thrusting inside me. My breath hitches as Miguel started hitting my G spot. Miguel reconnected our lips to keep me quiet and not wake anyone up.
Miguel started going faster, making me moan in pleasure in his mouth. Miguel's mouth travels from my lips to my jaw and all the way to my breasts. Miguel started to thrust harder inside of me until we both meet out climaxes.
We both fall to the ground breathing hard. Miguel did his nightly routine, he grabbed me and put me in a spoon potion. I was closing my eye about to go to sleep when i hear Miguel mutter something. "I want you to be my wife." My eyes go wide.
I am know wide awake.
What!?
I get out of Miguels grasp and turn to look at him. He fell asleep after he said that to me. He just fucking asked me to be his wife and just fell asleep right after? What the fuck!
Maybe i hear him wrong...
Then what the fuck did he just ask me?
I take a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. I didnt want to wake Miguel up. I close my eyes and take another deep breath.
I'm freaking out and i dont know what to do.
I'm not wife menterial!
I'm barely girlfriend or just straight up friend menterial.
I open my eyes and sigh as i gaze at Miguels sleeping face. He looks so peaceful. Which is the opposite of how I feel right now. I have no idea what to say to Miguel when he wakes up. I lay onto my back and stared at the roof of the tent.
I close my eyes again and try to go to sleep but it doesnt work. I can't fucking calm my thoughts down.
Miguel makes me...happy.
The happiest i've ever been.
Just thinking about that just shocks me to the core.
Ive never had anybody that makes me this happy. Which terrifies me to have anything change that.
What if when he actually asks me he makes the biggest mistake of his life?
I dont what to ruin Miguel.
I...love Miguel.
Which terrifies me more then change.
I was tossing and turning which also was making Miguel stirr so i decided to get up. I grab my shirt and pants and get dressed and leave the tent. I unzip the tent and crawl out. I look up at the sky and see the sun starting to come up.
I sigh. Im so not going to get any sleep tonight.
I walk over to the weapons bin.
I grab my sleeth and put it over my shoulder and grabbed my katana and holster it. I also grab my weapon belt and put my gun and knife in their holster and walk into the forest to try to clear my thoughts.
I love Miguel and that scares me more than anything.
I dont know how to love.
I barely even know how to love myself.
Next thing Miguel will want a child.
If i cant be a wife i sure as hell cant be a mother. I could never take care of a little boy or girl. I never had a mother figure so how could i be a mother?
I've never known what love is either so how could i be a wife?
As i get deeper into the forest i run into a group of undead. I swing my katana slicing three undeads heads off. After a overpowered the undead i started passing.
I cant be anyones wife!
I am so not wife material. I let out a shaky sigh as i run my hand through my hair. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I cant do this.
What is i mess up?
I am known for messing up things. I messed up with my family. I should have just listen so i wouldnt get a beating but i couldnt stand how they treated me so i delt with the consequences.
I messed up with Cora. Just because her boyfriend said one stupid little thing i started a bunch of drama. But to be far she should have taken my side cause sisters before misters. I honestly thought of Cora as a sister then i ran away from home thinking i would never see her again. That didnt really go as planned.
I still cant believe Cora is in the camp with us. I sigh. Im trying with Cora i really am. I just cant get close to anyone anymore. I took forever for me to get close to Miguel and i just admitted to myself i love him.
I dont even know what love is. How could i love someone when i never got love before nor know what it is. How can i be Miguels wife being as awful as i am. I am an awful person. Know one really knows about my past. Miguel knows about my life at home but he doesn know about what happened after i left home.
I stoll. I even killed. I killed that poor lady when the world first went to shit. I subconsciously grab the cross necklace. I didnt mean too but i still did and that still ways on my mind even though it was so long ago. I killed that guy that was being a beeping tom but to be fair he deserved it. I have done bad things in my life but the thing i regret most is failing my sister.
I failed my sister. I dont even know if shes still alive. I know my parent are but my sister might not have survived. I shake my head getting that thought out of my mind. She survived, she has to be alive. If shes not i could never live with myself.
I already regret leaving Hope. I asked her to come with me but she was young. I failed the most important person in my life who says i wont fail Miguel as well?
I fail everyone. I cant fail him too.
If he leaves. Or if i fail him i would be able to survive. I get close to people only for them to leave. I cant have him leave too.
I take a deep breath.
I am overthinking. I have got to stop doing that. I just cant help it. These insecurities of mine just over take my brain.
I take a deep breath and open my eyes and descend more into the forest.
Miguel's POV
The sun was shining across my face as i started to stirr awake. I squint my eyes open before regretting it and snapping my eyes shut. I stretch my arms over towards Bella trying to bring her closer to me when i relised im grasping at thin air. I open my eyes to see Bella isnt there. I yawn. Sometime Bella wakes up before me so her not being there isnt that surprising.
I sit up and stretch my arms before getting up. I got dressed considering last night me and Bella got intimate. I walk out of the tent and was assaulted by the sun.
Ugh!
Why does the sun have to be so bright?
I shake my head as i squint my eyes trying to get used to the light outside. I made my way over to where we usually eat expecting to see Bella there.
When i got there i was surprised when i only saw Cora. Lilley, and Danielle.
Huh...okay that weird. I walk around camp trying to find her to no avail. I go back to where the other girls where. They were laughing at something Cora said when i walked up to them with a smile.
"Hey have you guys seen Bel this morning?" I question purposefully using her nickname knowing Bella would be pissed if i used her full name in front of other people.
Danielle shakes her head no. "Neither have I." Cora answers.
"What about you Lilley?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "No i havent. Maybe she went on a run?" Lilley suggests.
"She would have told one of us." Danielle says.
"Well she is the leader of this group so she does what she wants." Lilley put quotation marks around the world leader.
"Dont disrespect Bel like that." I snap protectively.
"Yeah Lilley Miguels right. Bel is letting us stay here. Watch what you say." Cora deadpans.
Lilley roles her eyes. "Whatever."
I take a deep breath before I completely lose my shit with this girl for talking so poorly of Bella. No wonder Bella wants to fight her all the time. I look towards Danielle and Cora. "Im going to search around more. I'll keep you updated if i find her." The both nod. I take that as my signal and walk away.
I glance over towards the weapons binn. I noticed it was a little empty so I made my way over to it. When i made it over to the weapons binn i realize the weapons that were gone were a couple of Bellas. I kneel down and see Bellas crossbow, bow and arrow, shotgun, which means her katana, pistol and knife were gone. I stand up.
"Mierda!" I curse making my way back over to Danielle and Cora.
I grab my coat i left out on the table last night not liking the clouds that suddenly turned dark. I shrug it on as i get to the small group. Danielle looks at me with frowned eyebrows. "Whats wrong?" I must have gave off the vibe or something.
I shake my head. "Three of Bellas weapons are gone. Meaning Bellas gone." I mentally curse myself as i realize i used her full name. Oh she is so going to be mad at me later. Cora sets down the bowl she was holding.
Cora looks at me with wide eyes. "What?" She questions.
"Bels pistol, katana, and knife are gone. Which means shes gone." I sigh. "Are you sure none of you saw her leave?" I question.
"Wait.." Lilley holds up her hands. "Bels full name is Bella?" She asks with a smile.
I take a deep breath before looking at her. "Thats besides the point. Did any of you see her leave?"
Both Danielle and Cora shake their heads. I sigh again before glancing back at Lilley.
Lilley rolls her eyes. "Why are you making such a big deal out of something that is as little as Bel leaving?" Lilley scoffs.
Both Cora and Danielle glare at her. "You dont know Bel. She could get seriously hurt out there."
Lilley roles her eyes again. "Yeah right." She walks slightly off.
I sigh along with Danielle. "Where would Bel have gone?" Danielle questions.
"I dont know Danielle this is why i am here." I snap at her. Danielle and Coras eyes widen at my response. Cora looks at me taken aback. I dont usually snap at people that Bellas job. Danielle looks at me with hurt in her eyes. I rub my eyes. "Im sorry i didnt mean to snap. Im just worried." I apologize. Danielle nods.
Lilley walks back over to us. "Why are you guys worrying about nothing?"
"Lilley why dont you shut up." Cora answers.
Lilley rolls her eyes for like the hondreth time. If she keeps rolling her eyes they might find a brain. "Its not like she can i dont know take care of herself?" Lilley raises her hands.
Cora glances behind me and her eyebrows frown. "Bella?" She whispers in shock. I turn around and was met with a shocking sight.
Bella looks like absolute crap. Bellas hair was unraveled and all over the place like she ran her hands through it multiple time. Dark blood, most likely biters blood, is smeared across her face and all over her clothes. Dirt was in Bellas hair along with sticks. I step forward. "Bel what happened?" In the corner of my eye Lilley looks like she about to laugh but before she could let her amusement out Cora covers her mouth with her hand and drags her away with Danielle following after her.
I grab Bellas hands only for her to step away and out of my hold. Bella shakes her head and walks away from me towards the weapons binn. My eyebrows raise. I thought we were past her keeping things from me. I follow after her. Bella sets her weapons down and was about to walk away again when i grabbed her by her shoulders.
"Bella where were you?" I question. Bellas expression became guarded. She hasnet been guarded around me for a couple months. Something is seriously wrong.
"I uh was out." Bella looks down.
"I was worried about you." I tell her.
Bella looks back up to me with narrowed eyes. "Why?" She asjs with disgust coating her tone.
My expression turns confused. I thoguht we already established i care about her which means I worry about her. "Because you left. Without telling anyone." I tell her slowly.
"I did leave. What it to you?" She snaps at me getting out of my hold. I take a step back in shock. She hasn't been like this since before we got together. Something must have happened.
"I know you left. Maybe i thought you left for good?" I suggest. She raises an eyebrow.
"I would never leave you." She smiles a small smile. "And plus i would never leave any of my weapons." She empathizes on any. I smile at that. I lean towards her connecting our lips together. She immediately responded back.
Bella takes a step back with a glare on her face.
"Bella–" Bella cut me off.
"No stop." She says and looks away. Thats when i noticed there were unshed tears in her eyes making me even more concerned.
"Bella whats wrong?" I ask again.
Bella took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. "I-i-i" Bella stuttered not being abel to complete her sentence.
I take a step towards her. "Bella calm down and breath." I tell her. Bella takes another deep breath while running her hands through her hair making a couple sticks fall to the ground.
I take another step towards her making her take a step back making the weapons binn fall to the ground discarding the weapons all over the ground. "I-i-i cant." She breathed out before dropping to her knees to pick the weapons up. I follow her lead and help with the weapons. She cant what? I am more then confused.
Suddenly a thought came back to me.
"I want you to be my wife."
I mentally curse myself. Cabrona!
Last night right before i fell asleep i asked Bella to be my wife. I know commitment scares her. I sigh and shake my head as i scold myself. Bella stands up. I also get up. "Bella." I say calmly.
She starts shaking her head. "Bella." I repeat.
"I'm-i'm so-sorry." Bellas voice cracks.
I tilt my head. "Sorry about what?"
"Tha-that im a mess. Im such a mess." Bella runs her hand though her hair again. "Im supposed to be the strong pn. Im not supposed to be so fucking weak." Bella shakes her head making dirt fly down to the ground. "Im not supposed to be weak." Bella mumbles to herself.
I take a step towards her. "Bella you're alway so strong. You can be strong all the time. You can show your emotions and your vulnerable side. And when you do it doenst mean you're weak. I shows you're human." I tell her.
She then started to ramble on and on about how shes a worthless piece of shit. Okay thats where i draw the line. She is not worthless nor a piece of shit. Since she wasnt paying attention to me i reconnect out lips. We stayed like that for a couple second before i sensed she was calm. I broke apart from her and looked her in the eyes. She was breathlessly staring right back at me.
"Bella tell me whats wrong." I lightly command.
"I-" She shakes her head.
I grab her hands and squeeze gently in reassurance. "You can tell me. You can tell me anything."
"I cant be your wife." She says looking everywhere else beside at me.
My eyes drop slightly. I know why she rejected me but being rejected still hurts. "Im sorry." She lets out a dry sob. She has only cried in front of me a couple times. I put my arms around her shoulders being her into my chest.
"Its okay Bella." I start to whisper sweet little nothings in her ear to help her calm down. Once shes done crying Bella steps away out of my hold and rubs her eyes. I rub up and down on her arm.
"Miguel im scared." Bella says.
"Amar, why?" I question in concern.
Bella looks at me right in the eyes. "Because i love you." My eyes widen at the confession. Before i could say anything Bella starts speaking again. "How can i love you when i myself have no idea what love is?"
I take a step towards her. "Thats the thing Bella. No one knows what love is. We all have our own definition of love. My definition of love is ill alway be here for you no matter what." I lightly put my lips against her giving her a chast kiss. "Wait here." I tell her before running back towards our tent.
I unzip the flap of the tent and crawl in.
Bellas POV
I stand where Miguel left me for a couple minutes until he comes back with his hands cuffed together. Once her makes it over to me he starts talking. "Bella i love you too and there is no one else i would rather spend the rest of my life with than you. I understand you and you understand me." Miguel gets down on one knee and opened up his hands revealing a beautiful floral ruby ring.
The ring part is a stem going into a flower with leaves and thorns. The diamond part of the ring makes it look like a beautiful rose. I put a hand over my mouth in shock. Tears springing to my eyes again. "Oh Miguel its beautiful."
Miguel puts the ring in between his thumb and pointer fingers. "This doenst have to be a wedding ring but it can be a promise ring. If you accept it this ring with stand for the promise im going to make you today." I nod signaling him to continue.
"I promise to you i will never leave you. I will always be here for you no matter what." A single tear slides down my face. Miguel reaches up and swips the tear away with his finger. "What do yo say? Do you accept?"
I look down at the ring in Miguels hand to Miguels face.
I know i have a lot of worries about ruining Miguel and him leaving me but you only live once. And you never know when your last day is going to be. Especially with how the world is now. Anybody can go at any moment.
When i was younger i dreamed of someone loving me the way my parents never did. I dream of someone loving me for me and Miguel is that someone. I love him and he loves me. I know im sacred of commitment but whats better then facing your fears.
"Yes." That single word was enough for Miguel to jump up to his feet and smash his lips onto mine. Our lips danced to the symphony in out hearts. This kiss wasnt like any other kiss. Out other kisses were full of desire and passion but this one is full of love and promise. Miguel breaks away from the kiss and slips the alluring ring onto my ring finger. I look down at my hand before looking back up to Miguel with a smile.
"I love you." I tell him in confidence. He smiles back.
"I love you too." I grab him by the collor of his shirt and pull his lips back to mine. Right as we were kissing again it started to rain but we didnt have a care in the world. The rain was sticking to our eyelids and running down out facing mixing into the kiss.
It was perfect moment.
I thought only moments like these happened in movies but i couldn't have dreamed of anything better.
I pull away from the kiss. "Lets go to our tent before we get anymore soaked." Miguel chuckles and we start heading towards our tent without a care in the world.