"Got sick of texting," I tell Kira, daring to glance up from my toes. I try to look as natural as possible, but it's hard when Kicks is sitting over there in her bed with wide eyes and tousled hair. Is she trying to kill me with cuteness now?
I love this room. It's not a professionally decorated work of art filled with matching furniture or a specific theme; it is very Kira. She and Delia love refurbishing old furniture they pick up from jumble sales, giving them their special touch. Kira's room is a mixture of earthy tones and ocean blues, with blocked images of strange critters on the walls and plushies and dolls sitting among the books on her bookshelves. The massive panda bear my dad gave her is sitting on a footstool in the corner of the room, watching me, daring me to misbehave.
Challenge accepted, Mr Big Bear!
I smile, remembering Kicks and Deli playing with their dolls. They always used their Barbies, Kens and other similar dolls to create ridiculous soap operas and would wear my mom's clothes and shoes and pretended to be mothers taking their babies to the park with their disturbingly life-like baby dolls in play strollers. Kira's doll was supposed to be a boy, and Delia had a baby girl, and they had big plans of letting the two get married once they grew up.
Girls are weird things... Besides, as the father of all Kira's doll babies, I should have a say too...
"We have a home game tomorrow," I tell her. "You're going to come to watch it, right?"
"Rugby?" she asks, and I nod my head slowly, trying to let the topic of this conversation finally sink in. "It involves a ball, right?"
I roll my eyes and sigh. Seriously, could she care any less? No, probably not; if she cared any less, she would've come full circle and almost be caring again now. I don't think Kira has ever been to any of my matches, and it really doesn't matter. I mean, why would I want her to sit through a long boring game when she has no interest in it? I want her to come tomorrow, though. It will help her adjust to the whole dating thing and make the transition easier.
Thinking about it now, I realise that it will also make it harder for her to back out once everybody knows about it. I didn't think of that before, but now that I have, I really want her to come to the match tomorrow. I am willing to be as evil as my sister to have my way this time. I'll try anything I have to to make things work out between Kira and me; besides, I kinda like the idea of having my girlfriend on the bleachers, caring about what happens to me out there on the field... or not caring... since it's Kira, but still, she'll be there, and I'll know she's there and for some reason, it makes my heart feel warm.
"We're playing St Albany Boys High. It's a pretty serious game; they're our biggest rivals," I explain to her, and when she just continues to blink at me, I decide to take my foot off the brakes. No more Mr Nice Guy! "You want to do the whole good morning and good night thing, and I agree, sounds like a stupid corny thing a good boyfriend will do, so... I'm in. Well, I think going to her boyfriend's important matches is the kind of corny, stupid thing a good girlfriend will do, so..." shrugging, I spread my hands.
"The idea is to change you into the perfect boyfriend," Kira huffs. "Why do I have to be a good girlfriend?"
Why indeed?? Uhm...
"To inspire me to be a good boyfriend," I frown, and remembering what Deli told me, I cannot stop myself from teasing the girl a bit. "Besides, didn't you decide to do this so I could help you get off the shelf by teaching you how to be the perfect girlfriend?" I grin, seeing the startled expression on her face.
"No... I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart," she squeaks, the picture of innocence, making me laugh.
"Come on; you go to all Deli's hockey matches," I point out reasonably. "I don't want people to think that you're dating my sister more than you're dating me."
"We care about what people think now?" she frowns, pushing out her lips in that extremely kissable pout of hers again and with a shrug, I hastily redirect my attention back to the safety of my toes. Seriously, did that question just come from the girl who earlier today didn't want to be seen with me in public because she was overly worried about what people might think?
I can already feel the rice paper tearing. Kira does not like too much attention. I don't either, really, but I don't care one way or another. The fact that I'm usually in the middle of a social hurricane could be a deal breaker. I don't want anything breaking this deal. Maybe I should give up on the idea of her coming to the rugby; I could just date her quietly. At school, we could hang out in a shrub or something and sneak around in the shadows like monkeys planning to steal food from campers. You don't know they're there until they're on top of you, running away with the loaf of bread they stole off the table. Yeah, we could steal other students' lunches and eat them while sitting in a tree and...
"You're right," Kira says, and for a second, I think she means she's on board with the whole monkey idea... no such luck, though. "A good girlfriend would support her boyfriend in things that are important to him and vice versa. So, I'll go watch you play rugby tomorrow, and then you can go with me to the mudflats on Sunday to take pictures."
The word mud confirms the monkey plan for exactly two seconds, and then I register the word flats and the word pictures and the monkeys just fizzle out and evaporate, and so do the stolen lunches and all my other plans.
"You want to take pictures of... mud?" I ask, waiting for more info because there's really nothing going on at the mudflats except for mud and lots of it... as far as I know. The guys and I sometimes go there to have... well... mud fights or go skimboarding. I like the words take pictures, but... mud?
"Yes, it makes really cool patterns, and sometimes I get to photograph some interesting crabs and insects," she explains, and things are becoming a bit clearer now, and I do see quite a few pictures of mud and nests and insects mounted on her wall. She took most of them herself. "If we're really lucky, we might even finally get to see a great, blue-spotted mudskipper."
Now, she's just messing with me...
"Really?" I am unable to pump even an ounce of enthusiasm into my voice because... what the hell is a blue-spotted mudskipper?!
"Probably not," she shrugs.
I am just staring at her now, completely lost somewhere between blue-spotted and skipping mud and frowning at me, Kira pats her moon, and its light turns white. I can see her slightly better now, and I probably shouldn't stare at her because looking at her is not all that healthy for the whole rice paper situation.
I run my eyes over the photographs above her bed instead, and I think I know what she was trying to go for, but all her pictures are taken from conventional safe angles. I could probably help her with that. Yeah! My woman likes her mud, and good pictures of that mud are what she'll have!
"Deal," I say. "Okay, I'll meet you downstairs in the morning around 6:30."
"Six in the morning?!" she sounds like she swallowed her tonsils and got them stuck in her gullet and can now only speak in a shrill little voice. I nod my head, wincing at the horrified look on her face. Kira loves her Saturday morning lie-ins... often lasting the whole day. "It's Saturday! Do you hate me?"
If only, Kicks, if only...
"I have to be at school at 6:45 for warm-up. The match starts at eight."
"And girlfriends need to warm up too?"
She has a point. "Only if they're cold," I laugh, feeling sheepish and push a hand through my messy hair. "You're right; you can come with Deli."
"Dell's going?"
What?! She knows everything my sister does, and Deli never misses any of my games. She is my greatest supporter. Deli and Dad... and lately Simon. Mom says watching me play rugby makes her nervous; the coach banned her from coming to games because she can be feisty when she thinks her kids are in danger. Uncle Joe only comes when he is able to, and I doubt he really knows what is going on there on that field anyway.
"Oh, right!" Kira chuckles. "She's your sister... and she likes you... I forgot."
Ouch!
"Good night," I snort, turning my body and placing a foot on the windowsill. I think I've got climbing her wall figured out now. If I don't, I'll just jump.
"Wait!" Kira exclaims, slipping out of her bed and crossing to her vanity, and I think I'm about to have a stroke. My ears are ringing, my blood is singing in my veins, and my heart is giving the weird orchestra a wild beat to use for their big event. It gets worse when she picks something up from the dresser and strolls towards me with pretty golden legs sticking out of her PJ shorts.
Shit! Even her friggin' toes are cute!
"Here," she says when she finally joins me at the window, and I have to concentrate very hard to hear her voice over the noise in my head. "I had to swap our cords so it will be big enough for you."
Her necklace, she is giving me her necklace! Seeing the red and grey pebbles in the palm of her hand and the tiny mother-of-pearl disk in the centre is bringing me back to life, causing the cacophony of raging blood and crazy heartbeat to recede a bit. I smile up at her, and she's just standing there, holding the necklace out to me.
"Go ahead. Put it on me," I say, gesturing with my head. I really cannot take it from her now. I'm so nervous I'll fall out the window if I lift up an arm.
"You're gonna sleep with it?" she asks with a concerned frown on her sweet face.
"I always do. Aren't you going to?"
"Won't it strangle me?" she asks, her eyes flitting to the black scrunchie on my wrist, and I hurry to cover it with my other hand.
"I'm not giving it back!"
She smirks at me, but she doesn't try to take it. When I playfully stole her beaded bracelet a while back, she didn't use any of the opportunities she had to steal it back. She and Delia used to tease me about being sentimental, calling me a hoarder and things like that, but they've stopped and now often help me find storage for all my treasures. To other people, it is random crap; to me, they are memories.
"No, it won't strangle you."
She leans over and fastens the necklace around my neck, her fingers lightly trembling against my skin. Is she cold? Whispy strands of her hair tickle my face, teasing me with their enticing fragrance. Her breathing seems a little shallow; each breath, a soft puff of air against my cheek, and I can hear that orchestra kicking up a storm again. I cannot see my toes now; all I can see are cute little bunnies on a pink background with Kira inside them, and she smells so good!
Without consciously thinking about doing it, I turn my head to look at her face, and her lips are right there where mine end up. It doesn't take much effort for me to brush mine against hers, and it's like being stung by a jellyfish, just without the pain and ten million times more fun but every bit as deadly to me. Kira's lips are as soft as I knew they would be, and feeling them against mine, I would've toppled out the window if I wasn't taller than the opening.
This is awesome!
We've kissed before. Happy birthday, Merry Christmas, that kind of thing. A peck on the cheek, a very quick touching of lips, the kind of thing you'd do with family and friends. None of those kisses can be compared with the feather-light brushing of lips I'm experiencing now, touching me right down to the middle of my heart. I groan inwardly... perhaps outwardly too... I'm not sure... when Kira jumps back, clasping her hand over her mouth.
"What are you doing?!" she mumbles against the palm of her hand.
"Sealing the deal with a kiss." I could've lied and pretended that I didn't notice, that it was just an accident, but the oxygen-rich blood is not reaching my brain right now, it is pooling in dark and sinister places, and I should probably go hide in my room right now. I really hope this was not the action that finally rips the rice paper I've been treasuring.
"Why the hell does anything require sealing?! There's nothing to seal!" she exclaims, glaring at me for a few seconds. I wait, my heart stuck in my throat. Is she going to take her necklace back? Is she going to tell me to get lost and not bug her again?
She drops her hand from her mouth and grabs one of mine, nearly making my heart stop. What is she doing now?! She's shaking it quite violently. "How about this?!" she says, still glaring at me. "It's a deal! There you go! All sealed."
I pull a face, but really, I'm light-headed with relief right now.
"Yeah, guys are always going on one knee, handing a girl a ring and then shaking her hand. Very normal."
"We're not getting engaged; we're just... something..."
"Fine," I say, waving all future kisses goodbye... for now. "So, no kissing then?"
Kira grimaces, looking at me as though she thinks I've lost my mind. I probably did... I think I heard it fall out the window the moment I felt her lips against mine... or was it earlier already... much, much earlier...
"Well, not each other!"
Now, I'm the one giving her that kind of look. What weird-ass kind of relationship does she think we're having where we're kissing everybody except each other?
"So, let me get this straight. We're dating each other, but we're kissing other people? Just who the hell is it you're planning on kissing?" The idea of Kicks kissing some other guy is really pissing me off.
"I'm not planning on kissing anybody, especially not you!"
Oh! That makes so much more sense. She's not going to kiss anybody... at least, that's what she thinks...
"Good, because that is the number one rule. No cheating," I agree with her. Cheating is one of the main reasons many of my other relationships and almost relationships and I-never-wanted-them-to-be relationships ended. I seem to have a knack for getting mixed up with the kind of girls who just transfer their affections to the next guy when I'm not around to receive it. "That means no kissing other guys, no sharing their sodas, no sitting in their laps, nothing!" I clarify, listing some of the things that have broken up those relationships in the past.
She is frowning at me, looking a little apprehensive and nervous now. Am I being too aggressive? I don't mean to be aggressive; I'm just taking this relationship and all it entails really seriously, and I want her to take it seriously too. Well, I should chill a bit. Kira is not the kind of girl who would do any of those things even if she wasn't dating me...
"You have rules?" she asks, looking all cheeky again, making my heart leap.
"Yeah, that one. Don't you? You were going to draw up a contract or something," I remind her. It's actually an awesome idea. If I can get Kira to sign a contract, she won't just back out of our deal; she'll see it through. I want a contract!
"Couldn't think of a single rule... except the one we just made... no kissing... anybody."
Uhm... nope!
"That's not the rule..."
"It goes for you too," she says as if she didn't even hear my protest. "No cheating on me either." Why would I want to do a dumbass thing like that? I never even cheated on the girls I didn't love with all my heart.
"I don't cheat."
"Actually, that is a very good idea. We should each make a list."
What the hell is she on about now? When did I say anything about a list?! I thought we were going to sign a contract. I don't like the word lists! Lists are boring things made up of many, many words! Technically, so are contracts, but I like the word contract more than I like the word lists. The word contract holds some promise right now.
"Hell no!" I scoff, shaking my head. "Lists? Seriously? The only lists I'm interested in are music playlists... and shopping lists. I'm gonna go now, crazy person; sleep tight."
"I'm serious!" Kira exclaims, stopping me when I'm about to dive out the window to end the nightmare where lists are involved. "Make a list of all the things you think constitutes the perfect girlfriend, and I'll make one for the perfect boyfriend, and then we can use them as checklists to work towards our goal of becoming the perfect partners."
Wow, it keeps on getting worse.
"I am stunned that you are not dating more," I tell her, laughing when she slaps my shoulder. Her fingers as soft and silky against my skin, lingering for a few seconds, just long enough to make me lose consciousness for a moment before they're gone, and now I want them back!
"We... we need to f-find someplace to s-start..." Kira stammers, looking everywhere except at me and now I feel like a big bully. I know how important it is to the girl to have her thoughts, goals and ideas all neatly mapped and sorted to avoid confusion and anxiety.
"Fine, I'll make a list," I relent and start to rise when the overwhelming desire to mess with her just takes over the way it always does. It doesn't care about important things like rice paper and tentative relationships. I sit down again, grinning at her. "So, I guess no kissing means there won't be any sex either?"
"Ew!" Kira exclaims, giving me a shove and taking several steps away from me.
"Ew? Really?" I grunt, more hurt than disappointed right now.
"You are so gross!"
"No girlfriend I've dated has ever said 'ew' or 'gross' to me..." Uhm... I'm lying. I hear that a lot, and not just from girls I'm dating. I most often hear that from Kira. "Well... they have, but you probably don't want to hear about the context..."
"Shut up and go home! You have that big match tomorrow; you need to go to sleep!"
Laughing, happy now that I've made her blush and sputter and shout at me, I turn to climb out of the window. Yeah, one day, I'll pay a good psychiatrist loads of money to tell me why I need this to happen... but for now, I'm just going home to sleep.
"Wait, you're not using the window again; you'll get hurt. I'll let you out the back door."
"I know the way now." There's no way I'm standing up and letting Kira see the full extent of the effect she's having on me. There are some things it would be best for her to remain oblivious of. I slip out the window into the embrace of the night and mostly just fall down the wall to the ground, startled when one of the previously loosened strands of ivy slams into a gutter pipe. I better tie them to the wall again soon.
"Ethan!" Kira shouts, hanging halfway out the window, trying to see into the darkness below. She's going to wake the entire neighbourhood! I'm being stealthy here! Still, I appreciate her concern... it means that she cares, after all. I wave at her, making it easier for her to find me in the gloom at the fence, and now we're playing Romeo and Juliet with me standing in the shadows, gazing up at her, framed by her window, the soft light behind her bathing her in an ethereal glow.
Her beauty, as always, takes my breath away, but I know that it's not the highly pleasing way her face and body have been put together that is making me lose my breath. I would love Kira's heart and spirit, and personality no matter what package they came in. Her beauty is just a bonus.
While I vault the low wall and scale the one leading to my bedroom window, I pray that our story will have a much happier ending than that of Romeo and Juliet.
♂♀