Only you can love me this way
On the first weekend of May, the sun rises early in the morning. The summer solstice has come. Even Ash, who often wakes up later than Karlyle, wakes up at 6 in the morning. Normally, he would have led Karlyle to go back to sleep with him, but today, Ash woke up robustly, insisting on all the things to prepare. The first thing he does is to take Karlyle, who just got out of the shower, back to the bathroom. Then he does something a bit too inappropriate to call it a shower.
After that, they have a late breakfast. From 9 o’clock, both of them discuss with the wedding planner about the upcoming wedding and check all the prepared schedules of the event. The preparations for the most important day of their life are done now. There’s only one thing left to do.
“Are you ready, Lyle?”
Ash hugs his waist from behind. A tickling sensation spreads from his back. Ash’s scent wraps around him softly. His scent smells like a mix of spring and winter with a refreshing woody tone.
“Do we really have to go by your car, Ash?”
Karlyle asks, putting his palm on Ash’s hand around his waist. He hasn’t been fully mentally prepared to get on Ash’s Range Rover. Standing by the passenger’s door, Ash pulls Karlyle flushed tightly against him and says.
“We have to. Bongbong is a big dog, I don’t think he can fit in your car.”
“My car is big enough.”
“Besides, I don’t want your car to turn into a mess, Lyle.”
Karlyle looks at the passenger seat with discontent eyes as if he’s looking at something dirty. After their last romp at the airport, Ash had to take his car to change the seat cover. In addition, that day, the seat was reclined past its limit and ended up broken so it had to be repaired as well. During that time, he has been using his car to pick Ash up or Ash drives his car, so it’s been a while since they last used Ash’s car.
The car that belongs to Ash used to look lovely, but now it looks exceptionally ugly. Karlyle, trying hard to hide his reluctance, suggests to Ash.
“How about me buying you a new car as a wedding anniversary gift, Ash? You have been using this car for quite a long time anyway.”
“It’s okay, Lyle. This car is full of our memories.”
Ash smiles and opens the passenger’s door for him like a gentleman. Looking at the passenger seat awaiting, Karlyle stiffens. The image of him doing lewd things in the car replays in his mind.
Lubricant melted at body temperature and wetted the cover. He even remembers Ash’s semen filling him up, his hole couldn’t hold it in and it flowed out, pooling on the seat. The smell of pheromones mixed with the heat in the car that time makes him feel even more reluctant to get inside. Do I have to sit back on that seat?
“What about getting a new car of the same model?” Karlyle tries to find his way out.
“It’s all right, Lyle. This car is fine.”
Ash politely refuses. Karlyle slightly turns his body around to look at Ash, his eyes are full of eagerness. But Ash only smiles innocently as if he knows nothing. Staring at Ash with mixed feelings, Karlyle eventually gives up. It’s indecent of him to think of that. Ash seems like he doesn’t care about that at all, maybe he has forgotten. It’s Karlyle’s fault for having that inappropriate thought.
Holding back his discomfort, Karlyle forces himself to sit down. Ash watches him sit down, then he fastens the seatbelt for him and closes the door. He puts a blanket for dogs in the back seat and gets in the driver’s seat. Sitting stiffly, Karlyle focuses on the road ahead. This seat feels terribly uncomfortable, but today is a day worth celebrating. He can endure it.
“Shall we go?” Ash says.
“Yes.”
Ash starts the engine and plays Karlyle’s favorite classic piece. He calms down a bit when Glenn Gould’s Variations play. Ash is about to hold the steering wheel when he suddenly remembers something. He turns to Karlyle.
“What is the number of the anniversary today, Lyle?”
“....Yes?”
“Lyle has this expression on your face whenever you do something new. You’ve had that expression since this morning.”
Karlyle freezes in his seat. During last year and the last four months, he has already created 50 anniversaries. Today will be the 51st, the day Ash and him adopt a pet for the first time. He has been humbly keeping everything he did with Ash to himself, to the extent that he had his secretary make a separate anniversary calendar.
“What sort of expression…did I make?”
“You looked at my face with eyes full of expectations.”
“....I thought my face was the same as usual.”
“It’s cute though.”
Ash taps the tip of his nose. Ash seems to find him adorable, he laughs and brings his upper body closer. Then he whispers.
“Seeing that you didn’t deny it, I hit the nail on the head , hm?”
“....I didn’t make that many anniversaries.”
“So how many has it been?”
Karlyle hesitates. Will it feel creepy if he says the number 51? However, just a few days ago, he made Ash hurt by lying to him. So he puts his shame aside and tells the truth. He mutters, not looking at Ash in the eyes.
“5….1.”
“Ha ha!”, Ash bursts out into laughter and takes Karlyle into his arms. He hugs him tight as if he can’t help it and kisses his earlobe.
“I’m going crazy, really. Why are you so cute, hm?”
“I'm not.”
“Did you make that many anniversaries without letting me know?”
His earlobes flush. He can feel how the nape of his neck is getting hot. Karlyle bites his lip, his expression collapses a little. His fingers fumble with the hem of his suit, he ponders how to answer. Noticing his shyness, Ash lifts his chin up and makes Karlyle look him in the eyes.
“I’m sorry, Ash.”
Hearing his small apology, Ash pecks him on the lips. He gently soothes the crease in his brow, then removes Karlyle’s hand from the hem of his suit and interlaces their fingers. Digging his knuckles in between his long and pale fingers, Ash says.
“Why did you hide something so cute? You don’t have to hide it. Rather, if you tell me, we can make anniversaries together.”
“....Can we?”
“Of course. Let’s celebrate them together, my love. Then everyday will be a happy anniversary for us.”
Karlyle’s ribs tighten. Filled with joy, Karlyle has long forgotten the awkward feelings he had when getting into the car.
“If you want to, let’s do that.” He says, with his voice betraying just a hint of the excitement he feels.
Maybe Ash is an angel. Before, he used to think that it was foolish when poets and novelists compared humans to angels who fell to earth, but Ash truly is an angel. To think that such an understanding and loving person will become his husband. Karlyle is mesmerized.
“Of course.”
Ash says, taking his arm and kissing the back of his hand reverently like a knight. Then he asks.
“So did you include the first day we had sex in the car as an anniversary?”
Karlyle blinks. He thinks he just heard something. Perhaps the thing Ash just said is so shameless that his reason is refusing to listen.
“....What?”
He doesn’t want to ask back, but he has to. He can’t pretend that he didn’t hear Ash.
“That is also a precious first for the two of us. Of course you put it in, right darling?”
Karlyle is currently entering a state of confusion. He can’t tell whether what Ash said is good or bad. Of course, Ash calling him “darling” is indescribably good and lovely, but the meaning behind his sentence is not. The nape of his neck, which has calmed down for a moment, flares up again. He clasps his hands tightly and tries to change the topic.
“Ash, I think we should leave now.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t put it in? If it were me, I would definitely make it an anniversary.”
Hearing Ash’s voice suddenly change to a sad tone, Karlyle’s heart weakens. For a moment, the image of his secretary writing “first time having sex with Ash in the car” on the calendar flashes through his mind. His eyes become gloomy. But Ash’s sad voice has won.
“.....Okay, I will.” He gives up.
“You will be a good husband, Lyle.”
Ash smiles brightly. His lips curve up prettily, he pours kisses on Karlyle’s hand before letting it go. Ash finally grabs the steering wheel and drives out of the mansion. Karlyle tries to calm himself down and thinks about something else.
“Speaking of which, let me tell you what anniversary I have made, Lyle.”
But Ash hasn’t left him alone.
“What is it?”
“Do you remember when you were first tied with a ribbon?” (in Ash’s rut, Ash tied Lyle’s cock with a ribbon)
Karlyle looks at Ash with pitiful eyes. Ash is being mean now. It’s disturbing that such an obscene thing is suddenly added to the anniversary list. Of course, it’s not that he hates it. It’s just, Ash is being mean. Why should they celebrate the day he showed such a disgraceful side as an anniversary?
With his mouth shut, he silently reaches out and turns up the music volume. Watching him, Ash bursts into a low laugh and starts driving.
***
"Oh, the tall couple has arrived."
A middle-aged woman greets them as they enter the shelter. She is a Beta woman with scarlet bobbed hair that reaches her ears. She looks at Ash and Karlyle curiously and introduces herself as Vanessa.
"Good morning.".
"Nice to meet you, Vanessa."
Karlyle says hi briefly, while Ash kindly greets her. But he’s not smiling as jubilantly as he had before. It’s modest—and of course his smile is still very beautiful, but Karlyle feels silently moved by the fact that Ash remembers his promise with him. Ash is a person who can enchant people just by breathing. So ever since Karlyle said he didn't like Ash smiling too much in front of others, Ash has been diligent in keeping his side of the deal.
Having been holding his hand since they got out of the car, Ash tightens his grip and gently rubs his thumb against the back of his hand. Seeing them unconsciously moving closer to each other, Vanessa smiles.
"You two seem to be good partners. I think it was a good choice to adopt a dog"
They start walking. As the hallway narrows, Karlyle reluctantly lets go of Ash's hand and walks behind him to create more space. Ash gently exchanges words with Vanessa.
"We are also very excited. We have researched things we need to know beforehand, but there must be other things we aren’t educated about, so we would appreciate your help."
"Sure. After completing paperwork, I'll let you meet Bonbon."
Karlyle nods. Following Ash down the aisle, Karlyle walks past parents and children coming to pick up their dogs. One of the girls is holding her father's hand and looking around curiously when she makes eye contact with him. The black-haired girl stops in her tracks and blinks at Karlyle. Tilting her head, she reaches out and grips the sleeve of his suit with her tiny hand.
"Oh my goodness, I'm sorry."
A handsome Omega man runs from afar to catch her. He quickly holds the girl in his arms. The Alpha male walking with the child also follows him. They are a normal Alpha and Omega couple.
"Our daughter must have followed after you because you’re so handsome…my apologies."
"It's okay."
Karlyle shakes his head. Even though the child doesn't resemble him or Ash, when he sees the girl's black hair, Karlyle immediately imagines what Ash's child would look like. The child will definitely be a beauty. He can imagine a child with the same gentle eyes as Ash, and gazing up at him in the same way Ash does. He would definitely do everything for the child.
As an Alpha, he can’t give birth to a child that looks like Ash. Ash has made it clear that he does not want to have kids, but he still wonders whether Ash wishes to adopt a dog to replace the child that Karlyle can’t give them. A thought he has had for quite a while pops up in his head. Has their recent quarrel left uneasiness in his heart?
“Do you come for a dog like us?”
The little girl asks Karlyle. Although they’re strangers, he stops to answer her. His face remains neutral.
“That's right.”
At his answer, the girl smiles. The way she smiles somehow reminds him of Ash. Karlyle blankly stares at her for a moment.
“Jane, stop bothering mister. We have to go. Your puppy is waiting for you.”
“Okay. Bye bye.”
The child lets go of his suit and waves at him. Her parents also bow slightly to say goodbye then leave with her. Karlyle stands there watching them until they go out of his sight. The idea of a normal family hangs in his throat like a lump. He freezes up. His thoughts about the dog start to snowball into anxiety about their future. The idea of normalcy is a farce, but what if Ash finds their marriage lacking and begins to long for a nuclear family?
Ash said he would make him happy for the rest of his life, but on the other hand, he doesn't know if he can give Ash a happy life without lacking anything. He has to make Ash happy, too.
Feeling a bit anxious, he turns around. And he sees Ash walking with the dog at the end of the hallway.
“Lyle, look.”
Ash is smiling. He is waving his hand with a bright smile on his face. It’s like pure sunlight is radiating from his handsome face. The golden retriever is dropping her tongue out in excitement. When Ash lets go of her leash, she immediately runs down the corridor. It seems that she recognizes his owner, the dog hops on her feet and stops in front of Karlyle. She wags his tail nonstop. “Woof!” She barks. Ash strides towards them laughing.
“Say hi Lyle, this is our Bonbon. Bongbong seems to like you already.”
Ash walks over and looks down at Karlyle, then he grabs Bonbon’s leash again. Seeing the pair of eyes looking at him, Karlyle smiles, his eyes begin to water. He places his hand on Ash’s hand that’s still holding the leash.
Let’s not have these doubts anymore. Let’s believe everything Ash has said. He thinks. Ash said that he wanted to love only him, and Karlyle wants to trust that.
Looking at the beautiful eyes in front of him, Karlyle realizes that Ash is telling the truth. Ash is happy.
And Karlyle is also happy.
“I will make you happy, Ash.”
Although what he says comes out of nowhere, Ash doesn’t question it. He only smiles softly and moves closer to him. Then he kisses his forehead.
“Of course you will. Since you are my Lyle.”
Karlyle laughs softly. His thin lips twitcy and melt into a smile. Bonbon looks back and forth between them, she wiggles her tail and barks. Hearing her barking, Karlyle looks down and their eyes meet.
They will be happy in their own way. They will definitely be able to make that happen even if their family is a little different from what is usually defined.
“Hello, Bonbon.”
Despite his cold voice, the dog wiggles his tail. Ash laughs and grips Karlyle in his arms. Karlyle rests his forehead against Ash’s neck and closes his eyes for a moment.
The happiness that Ash gives him everyday has already been engraved in his eyes.
End vol 5