Author's pov
After leaving the house, Jimin got inside his car and drove away. Roaring thunder bolts struck in the air as it again started raining heavily. A buzzing sound echoed in the silent streets with every splatter of rain.
He turned the steering wheel and drove at the fastest speed possible along the lonely drenched streets. He didn't know where the wheels lead him but he still drove.
A moment later, in the middle of a road, Jimin pulled the brakes as the car came to a halt with a jerk. He frustratedly ran my fingers through his hair and punched the steering wheel.
He didn't know what was happening to him but he was angry, angry at himself. Angry for what he did. Angry for what he said. Angry for running away after it.
He threw his head back on the seat. Guilt and rage was all he felt at the moment. Jimin knows he has made a mistake.
He knows he has hurted you and he regrets it but nothing he could do, for he doesn't even know why he behaved like that. He punched the steering wheel continuously until he burnished his knuckles.
He looked at his trembling fingers breathing heavily as he slapped himself. Again and again until blood rushed to his cheeks and ears turning them bright sanguine.
He was in turmoil and there was only one person whom he trusted that could help him.
Rain droplets skimmed down his knuckles along with the blood as he knocked on the wooden door. Seconds later, the door opened revealing a middle aged woman. It was Jimin's mother.
The smile on her wrinkled lips faded as she saw her son's condition. He gave a quick glance to her and without speaking a word, he walked to the kitchen.
" hey hyung, what are you doing here? " Jungkook asked, taking a sip from the soju bottle, leaning on the kitchen counter. Jimin completely ignored his words and walked past him, opened the fridge and took out a bottle of alcohol, running his fingers through his wet locks.
His mom closed the door and followed him. He sat down on the chair pouring it in the glass. " I think you are the only person on the planet who comes home to drink instead of going to a bar " Jungkook giggled while taking another sip of his drink as he walked toward him.
Jimin kept down the bottle as his cold eyes turned into a glare, raising one of his eyebrows which caused Jungkook to choke on his drink. " I-I'll go to my room " he left.
The sudden appearance of his son late at night, made her worried until she noticed the blood on his knuckles and red puffy face. It was tol much for her little old heart to bear.
She went and stood infront of him. " what happened Jimin? " " I don't want to talk about it mom " He stated, taking a sip from his glass.
His mom sighed. " you got into a fight ? " Jimin ignored and took a sip. " or- it's again Y/n, right ? " She said, stopping Jimin's hand in the mid air. Her forehead wrinkled.
Moms knows everything after all but his lips didn't have the skin to slip a word to her about what he did to you back home. He never could, no matter how much regret festered his flesh inside.
He placed the glass back on the table. " now honestly tell me Jimin what did you do this time? " She asked with a stern voice which made Jimin let out a deep sigh.
" I again shouted at her for nothing and again I am not feeling good about it.. now what " he replied.
Jimin frustratedly gripped the glass as the memories from earlier knocked his mind, making him look vulnerable.
" mom, I think it's not working.. it's not working mom.. I want to start a relationship with her but I think it's not working "
" it's not working or you are the one who is not trying to work on this " His mom said, making him look at her.
She was somewhere right. It was Jimin who tried to keep you away from himself while you were the one trying. He was more guilty now.
" I don't.. I don't know mom " He cooed. Mrs. Park sat on the chair beside him. His grip around the glass loosened.
" listen Jimin I know it's hard to move on from your feelings.. especially when it's of your first love, but how long you are going to hurt yourself more and Y/n because of it..
how long are you planning to make her suffer over waiting for a girl " she said as he carefully listened closing his eyes, head hung low.
She placed her palm on his shoulder. " as your mother I am really worried for you Jimin..
I can't see you suffering everyday for a girl who left you without a word and never looked back.. it hurts me Jimin " He was listening to everything.
He knows that she has left him. He also knows that there's least, probably no hope of her returning. He also knows that he is making everyone suffer with himself but nothing was all he could do.
Everytime he tries to walk away, his own thoughts keeps haunting. " but what if Y/n does the same? " He asked, looking at her with his bleaker eyes.
" she will never.. trust me " she assured and who knew this better than him. Placing down her hands from his shoulder, she got up.
" a whole new life is ahead of you.. I want you to live enjoying it, not wasting it over waiting for a girl, whom you don't even know, if she will return, " she reassured.
" I am not forcing you to love Y/n what I am just saying is.. at least don't ruin her life while sorting your own "
--
Somewhere his heart still beats at her name and he couldn't deny it. Though her thoughts, nightmares leave him completely broken sometimes but he still couldn't run away.
Afterall she was the one who introduced him to this feeling, she was his first love.
Though the marriage was against his will, he still wanted to make it possible not for himself but for you. His heart did want to go for it but it was too scared to be left broken again.
Somewhere Jimin was ruining your life and he knows this well but what was his fault? Seoa left him without a word as if she never existed for him. He blames himself for that, and he still does.
The first heartbreak has made him accept himself as one who cannot love neither get loved.
The rain drops slipped down the glass window just like the tears he had shed everyday for her. He gave her his everything.
He made her smile, the kisses he gave her was something to be treasured for life. They made promises together to stay forever but she still left, and he was scared you would do the same.
He knows you were nowhere like Seoa. The pieces of his broken heart were slowly piercing him from inside, he knows you can heal him.
He trusted you can fix the broken pieces of his heart but he was scared the pieces would end up giving burnish to your fragile one.
He was too weak for it. He granted that there was something missing in him and never dared to love again.
Jimin turned the steering wheel for the last time and the wheels came to halt. He got out of his car and walked straight inside his house. He weakly dragged his feet upstairs, stopping right infront your room.
His eyes were locked on the wooden door as the past memories of today replayed in his mind. He was still guilty for what he did, everything that made you hurt.
After every argument, you cry to sleep and fall sick the next day, he knows this well. Today he again made you cry and wanted to check if you are okay.
He slightly opened the door and peeked inside to find you settled on the bed. He stepped inside and stood by your bed.
The curtains gently swayed with the breeze entering from your window as the moonlight fell on your little figure.
The stain of fresh tears on your red cheeks and pillow didn't go unnoticed by him. His heart clenched as he sat on the edge of the bed.
He reached out his hand for your cheek as he slowly brushed it with his thumb pad. Your hand rested on the other side of your head.
The moonlight light fell on the tiny object in your fingers, sparkling brightly through the darkness. It was your wedding ring.
Jimin saw it and felt something pierce through his heart as the same regret started taking over him. You were his wife but still he always treated you like a stranger.
He hated it. He wanted to keep you away from him but his way of doing it left him with regret and rage at the end. He hated himself for it.
He treated you dreadfully yet you wore the ring of his name. A tear rolled down his cheek as a gasp left his mouth.
" I am sorry "