I lifted my head up from the leather seat in the office, the fabric sticking to my skin. Kaz stood in front of me, the desk between us. His face was hard, it always seemed to be.
"I left for a reason, you know," my voice carried a heavy weight of the past. My thoughts feel foggy. I don't want to talk about this.
"You're a pirate-"
"Was, Kaz, I was a pirate," I corrected with a sharp tone. I fiddled with the stitching of my thick pants, easing my mind before I continued. "I wasn't a member of the Kraken Killers, I was from a smaller crew. A group of ruthless, but unimportant people." Kaz listened silently as I spoke, a sense of concentration rooted deeply within him. He probably wonders if I'm lying. "We were the Mouse Petals, seemingly soft and enticing, but brutally unforgiving. My dear old dad was the Captain, he taught me to take charge and... dispose of unwanted weak links. When he was busy, my mom would tell me the many ways to have a man or woman wrapped around your finger."
"Why did you leave, not enough dabloons?"
"Because, it was brutal. Innocent people worse off than us became our targets when Greed finally consumed my father. He began taking it out on my mother when plans didn't... go so smoothly. Any mistake made by the crew was a consent to death," I explained while bile rose in my throat, my eyes dripping like broken faucets. "Mom made a mistake, she...-," I choked on my words. "It doesn't matter, but what matters is that she's dead. Dad killed her." I looked up at Kaz again, my face red from crying... and maybe because he looked so good right now.
He finally spoke after what felt like an eternity, "why didn't you tell us? Might have been useful to know," he rasped.
"It's helpful information, sure, but it never came up in conversation. What did you want me to do? While we're navigating sea routes just turn to you saying 'hey Kaz, by the way I used to be a fucking pirate and I watched my mom die'?" I snapped.
"Well, we are on a boat, any time would have been a good time, really. All Jesper did at dinner one night was tell pirate puns," Kaz combated, the grip on his cane tightening, and his face distorting into a grim scowl.
I stayed silent as he stared me down. For whatever reason I cared what Kaz thought of me, what the Crows thought of me. I got up from the leather chair, ripping my bare skin off the sweat stained seat. As I walked past Kaz, I saw him eye me. I stopped, "you wanna say something or can I go?"
His silence answer my question, so I trudged my way up the wooden stairs onto the sunny ship deck. The sloshing waves grew more tipsy, drunkenly tipping the boat this way and that without a care in the world. Oh, how I envied the ocean.
Inej appeared from the slivers of shadow that existed midday, her flexible body contorting into view. I gave her a weak smile as a greeting before laying on a patch of loose rope on the ship's stern.
"How was easdropping, doll?" I asked Inej with a smooth tone.
"Oh-, I-,"
"I'm not upset Inej, I'm a sucker for gossip and old habits die hard," I sighed with a forced laugh as she sleuthed her way next to me. She gracefully sat down next to me, her sleek hair falling into her face.
She smiled at me, a friendly care rested on her face. It wasn't a look of someone who felt initial pity for anyone they saw, it was a keen understanding that was followed by empathy.
"He likes you, well, I'm not sure he really likes anyone, but if he did, it was be us Crows."
"I'm not a Crow,"
"Maybe this heist will prove otherwise," her eyes held a knowing gleam, she understood the pain it was to deal with Kaz sometimes. But I felt a little warm inside when she implied my acceptance.
I'd always had the innate ability to coax others into liking me, into loving me, but it was more of a lustful gimmick than a commitment. The Crows felt like a commitment. Granted, it hadn't been long, but there was a different ambiance around interactions I had with the crew compared to others in my life.
"Thank you, Inej," I whispered to her, hugging my knees in my sunburned arms. We sat in silence as the sea's waves slapped against the boat, like an over-eager greeting. "What did the ocean say to the sand?"
Inej stifled a laugh before replying, her long, slender body gracefully folded next to mine.
"I don't know, what did it say?"
"Nothing," I shrugged as the ghost of a smile played on my lips, "it just waved." I couldn't keep it together anymore, I burst into laughter, along with Inej. It wasn't even a funny joke, but it made me feel whole to giggle with someone who understood me. Kaz would have hated that joke. "I just didn't want to talk about it with him," I said to no one in particular, but Inej listened with intent. I watched as her endless hair flowed down her back and onto the wooden deck of the boat, her dark eyes deep pools that drowned all of Ketterdam's secrets.
I sighed and stood up, grasping the ledge of the boat. "I don't know why it felt like a big deal."
"People are complex, fears and traumas gash pieces of a person, sometimes taking whole chunks, until they're the remains of what once was a person," Inej's voice was a whisper in the wind. "Go tell Kaz the ocean joke, he'll detest it." She laughed and like that, she was gone into the wind as well.
✵ ♣ ✵
Kaz wasn't in the office, instead he was in his bunk, an awkward shaped room that was essentially a closet, connected to the main bunks with a door. Perhaps Kaz hadn't wanted to listen to Matthias snore all night, or maybe he didn't want to listen to Jesper and Wylan say goodnight to each other a dozen times before actually meaning it. For whatever reason, Kaz was in the cramped corner of the boat, hunched over on his bed, spine facing the door.
"What did the ocean say to the sand?" I asked, he craned his neck to look at me before sighing, turning around to see me. He didn't look eager to hear the punchline, but his expression often didn't indicate his mood.
"Do tell,"
"Nothing, it just waved."
"You're brilliant," he mocked dryly.
"Oh Kaz, are you shore you get the joke?"
"...,"
"Saints, it's just a joke, you don't have to be a salty beach about it," I grinned, my cheeks dusted with pink.
"How have you survived in Ketterdam with that mouth of yours?"
"My mouth is adorned with soft lips, darling. Gets me out of trouble often," I winked and leaned against the door. He turned away from me, but I noticed something off about him.
"We're close to the Fjerdan passage, we should be there by the end of the week. I believe we are hugging the border of the Ravkan countryside that leads to The Fold." I said, easing the tension that hung heavy in the room. "We will need winter attire, and Matthias will have to be disguised because... well, I think it's obvious," I said with an awkward chuckle. Kaz nodded, still not looking at me.
He stood up and limped to the door, "we're on dinner duty," was all he said before gesturing for me to move and leaving the room.
I followed after him to the small kitchen jutting out of the cabin. Kaz began taking out knives and cutting apples into oddly shaped slivers.
"I didn't buy specially preserved ingredients to have them be wasted by someone who doesn't know how to cook," I teased as I stood behind him; micromanaging.
"How can you be sure I can't cook?" He grumbled, placing the knife back into the cutting board. I smirked at his insulted demeanor.
"For someone who has most likely fought with every weapon in the book, you can't use a knife for anything but damage." My gaze met his. The colors of his eyes resembled those of over-steeped tea, unknown thoughts stored inside. "Let me show you how to use a knife," I said, he flinched as I came closer though. I moved the cutting board closer to me, giving him the reassurance of space between us.
I delicately chop the apples into thin slivers, gingerly slicing them with a confidence. After I finish with the first apple, I gestured to Kaz, who was sulking as he watched, for him to attempt at the feat. "The trick is to remember it's an apple, not a human threat," I said and patted his jacket-covered shoulder. He flinched, but began to cut the apples.
I sprinkled cinnamon and sugar onto the perfect —and the ones Kaz sliced- apple slivers before placing them over the gas stove. There was really no need for such an expensive boat when I bought it, but I'm glad I did.
"You did a good job," I complimented with a grin, skirting around the kitchen with pep. "Now, we need to make the sandwiches. I'm gonna keep you on slicing duty, alright?" He nodded and began to slice meat and cheese into thick sheets. I watched him methodically go through the motions of the repetitive task before he looked up at me,
"Get me the lettuce." His teasing smirk seemed to whisper to me, I saw you staring. I blushed slightly as his scarred lips had curved into a smile.
"I will if you use your manners," I purred while retrieving the bread from the cupboard. He sighed before giving me a mocking, dreamy look,
"My dearest Y/n, my darling, would you please get me the lettuce, my little Crow," his voice was sweet and immitated mine a twinge, asshole. I tossed him a bag of lettuce and began roasting the bread.
"You're lucky you're not a target with expensive jewelry, or you'd be met with an intimate reaction," I retorted at his slyness, but I couldn't help but wondered if my face was beet red.
Kaz and I continued to cook up the paninis and apple chips with little incident, Kaz did almost cut a finger off, but he was fine.
Dinner was served to everyone by myself and Kaz, each sandwich looked intricate and appetizing. Nina made a satisfied noise as she bit into the cheese-and-meat filled bread. I laughed slightly and took a bite as well, it was very good. Thick globs of cheese poured down the sides of the crisp bread and perfectly seasoned meat sat inbetween the top layer of bread and cheese.
"Y/n, Kaz, this is the second best thing I've ever put in my mouth," Jesper praised. Wylan giggled as they held hands and smiled. Matthias gave me an approving nod as he sat at Nina's hip, and Inej smiled at me with kind eyes.
"I shouldn't get too much credit, Kaz did chop up stuff... and almost his finger- but he did great," I grinned at my tease and leaned towards his stiff sitting posture as he ate. Everyone laughed with no ill intent, but Kaz huffed with an irritated look.
"If you're so good at cooking, why do we all have to take turns cooking each night?" His eyes stared me down, the question seemed rhetorical; a way to shut me up. I can't let that happen.
"I'm paying you all, might as well get my money's worth." I laughed, and the beginnings of a smile twitched on Kaz's scarred lips. His really nice lips. If I could trace the scars every night before I slept I would, but if felt uncomfortable to think about. I don't ever feel like this...
The night ended fine, no one brought up the pirate incident from earlier, so I took today as a win. But Kaz knew, yet it didn't bother me as much as it should've.
✵ ♣ ✵
I watched in horror, for what felt like eons strung together into a much longer expanse of torment. My mother was tied up on the ledge of a wooden plank jutting off a ship, eyes puffy from crying. Her limbs were red and bloody from the ropes keeping her from grasping freedom. I stood next to my father, his tall figure looming over me with resemblance to a demonic entity. His grip on my frail shoulders squeezed tighter as he turned to me.
"Do it,"
I woke up to the thunk of my head making contact with the bunk above me; the empty bunk initially reserved for Kaz. I didn't kill her, I didn't do it. I continued to say these words until I felt I could beleive them, for tonight.
Sleep would only plunge me back into the sea of that dream again, so I silently, attempting to not wake anyone up, walked up the cabin's steps. When I reached the mast of the boat, my eyes fell on those of a scar-covered boy. He sat against the crates near the front of the tall beam holding the sails high. He looked at me with empty, glazed over eyes. Gray bags prominent and hair unkept. He looked like a meek kid rather than a Gang boss. Maybe he was just both.
"Nightmare?" I asked and sat next to him, and to my surprise, he didn't move away.
"Yeah,"
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Word Count: 2292
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I had a good time thinking of the backstory for this character, though my knowledge of pirates is pretty limited. Hope you enjoyed the ocean puns,
-Valentine