Now gather ’round an’ ‘ear me tale
It’s one o’ epic adventure
So take a seat an’ grab an ale
An’ I’ll tell it with true measure
I be a skald, a bard, a songstress
O’ that there is no doubt
I yarn ta spin wit’ fullness
Tha’ll make ye grin fer naught.
Ye’ll wish ta listen closely now
So bend close an’ keep sharp
I’ll let ye in on the why’s an how
An’ nev’r need the sound o’ a harp.
This tale be true, one ‘undred percent
Would I lie ’bout somethin’ like tha’?
So sit righ’ there, dear ladies an’ gent
An’ I’ll b’gin with a wee small chat!
I’ll brandish me pistol, draw forth me rapier
At one time I’d force wee pretties away
But t’day, the song is much more merry
A tale o’ how I came ta this place so long an’ grey!
Twas one dark night, as it always would begin
Paints a picture o’ darkness an’ forebodin’
An’ in this case be true, I swear on me pistols twin
Now let me continue b’fore this tale be erodin’!
In the valley o’ mists, through the dark trees
I found the gateway ta what I thought the great beyond
I felt the cold come through the gate, an’ thought I’d freeze
But I knew ta venture through an’ held meself strong!
‘Round here, there’s merry an’ mirth
But there in that diff’rent land
Far flung from me elven birth
Was a cruel place rule by a gun hand!
So sit yeself down an’ lend me yer ear
For I’ve a tale ta tell an’ ye’ll no’ wanna miss
It’s a harrowing yarn that could give ye fear
But I promise ’twill end with a Skald’s bold kiss.