Two hours later, I'm officially a member of the San Fran Shore Aquatics. It doesn't feel real, and even as I'm hurrying to my Uber, I expect to look back and see Coach Jackson chasing after me to tell me she's made a mistake.
She doesn't, obviously, so I settle into my seat and glance in the rearview while talking with the driver. My hair is dripping wet, and I'm pretty sure my red-rimmed eyes aren't from the chlorine but from the after-pool-crying I'd failed to disguise, not that it mattered. Everyone else had been too wrapped up in their own qual times to notice, and a brief dunk of my head was able to wash any evidence away.
The only problem is, I'd been in such a rush to make it to Noah's that I'd dashed out of the locker rooms practically half-dressed, and now I look...wild, to say the least. But for once, I'm not obsessing. All I can think about the whole ride back is how, one minute, it felt like my life lacked any direction, and now everything makes sense again. I make sense, and strangely, so does Noah.
Or maybe that's wrong: it's not that Noah and I make sense; it's that I'm no longer weighed down by anxiety over it. My shoulders feel lighter, and even though part of me still worries he'll hurt me, I don't want to think about that tonight. I just want to celebrate making it on the team, strings or no strings be damned.
I spend the next few minutes fantasizing about the future. Coach Jackson told us in the briefing afterward that our first practice is on Monday, and that's when we'll be given more information about the meets, which will most likely be in two weeks. It doesn't give me a lot of time to improve, and even though I should probably be scared, I'm not – I'm excited.
Mom would always tell me I'm the kind of kid who has to have a goal to work for or else I'll go crazy, and she was right, but it's more than that. I went without swimming for so long that all I want now is to make up for lost time.
At one point, when I'm busy imagining myself in the Shore Aquatics swimsuit, the driver notices my Cheshire grin and offers a smile of his own. "You look like you're on cloud nine back there. Good news?"
"Yes, actually." I feel my smile grow bigger. "I made it on the swim team."
His eyes brighten so much that you'd think I'd told him I made it to the Olympics. "That's great news; congratulations."
"Thank you," I say and immediately pull out my phone to find a handful of messages, some from Noah asking how things are going and a few from Addy wanting to know where I am.
From the urgency of her last message, she's seconds from sending out a full-blown search team, so I tell her I'll be home soon. Then I switch to Noah's chat and, wanting to tell him about tryouts in person, type that I'm on my way.
He doesn't respond, and at first, I figure he's probably just showering, but then I get a message from Addy.
My heart sinks.
You're alive! Come to Jesse's.
The Uber pulls up as I re-read the message. Not only is Addy not on speaking terms with Jesse, but why would she invite me over to Jesse's unless–
My question is answered the second I step out of the Uber. Music blares all the way from the rooftop, mixed with cajoles and the occasional scream, so of course, they're throwing a party. Why is Noah throwing a party?
I step into the packed lobby and spot a few bikini-clad girls from campus huddling before the elevator. It's not like I'm against a party, per se, but it wasn't what I'd imagined when Noah agreed to meet me at the rooftop tonight. Not when I'm here with my gym bag in tow and tendrils of hair stuck to my face.
Maybe this was Noah's plan all along. Maybe he threw the party for me, though he couldn't have known that I'd make the team, and what would he have done if I hadn't? Besides, wasn't it him that said the rooftop was sacred?
Evidently not.
The elevator opens, and I swiftly slip inside along with the others. They're laughing and stumbling, taking pictures in the mirror while I desperately avoid being captured in the background. Clearly, not getting ready before I left the sports complex was a mistake.
Huge.
The doors slide open to what can only be described as mayhem. Everywhere I look, bodies are grinding, music is blasting, and people are squealing as they recklessly cannonball into the pool – my pool. Well, Noah's technically, but still.
I join the stream of excited college kids heading toward the grill and try to find some familiar faces. Natalia is in the corner, soaking in the hot tub with some guy I've never met. I don't much feel like joining them, so I pick up a chicken skewer and pretend to look busy while I wait for Noah to appear. If there's one thing I hate, it's standing alone at a party.
I'm almost finished when a hand grabs my shoulder. I turn on my heel, expecting to find Noah with some kind of explanation for this sudden change of plan, but instead, I find Pax. Behind him is Addy, peering at my raggedy hair and water-spotted clothes with eyes full of questions.
"Where've you been?" she says, pushing in front of Pax. "Why are you already so wet? You're not even wearing a swimsuit."
Pax arches his eyebrow, looking at me as if it's time to come clean, and he's right. Putting down the remnants of my skewer, I turn to face Addy and take a deep breath.
"Okay, look, I lied to you earlier about what I was doing tonight." Her eyes grow suspicious, and I hurry to keep going. "I didn't go to the gym. I tried out for a local swim team instead, and–" I feel myself grin as I get to the next part, "–I made the team."
Addy's eyebrows furrow. She blinks a few times. Then, as I prepare for the worst, she breaks into the most adorable grin. "That's amazing," she says, pulling me into a hug. "Why would you lie about that? I thought you were about to tell me something crazy like you've been stripping each night to pay for Cabo."
I pull back a little, feeling as if a weight has lifted. All those times my fifth-grade teacher told us the truth sets you free, she was right. "I guess I just wanted to wait to see if I made it before I told anyone. Save myself any embarrassment."
She sighs in that what am I going to do with you way before nudging Pax. "I knew she looked far too happy at the meets. At first, I thought it was because she had a crush on Noah or one of the Calbears or something."
I laugh nervously, ignoring the wicked look in Pax's eyes, and say, "Yeah, right." While I'm happily riding the honest train, admitting to liking Noah right now is a little too honest.
"Well," Pax says, slapping me on the back, "this calls for a celebration. I'll be right back, ladies."
He retreats into the crowd as Addy catches me up on tonight's impromptu party. Apparently, Pax had told her that Jesse decided to throw a rooftop party last minute, which sounds to me like Noah had nothing to do with it. I spend a few moments surreptitiously scanning the rooftop for him, but as usual, he's nowhere to be found.
Turning to Addy, I take in her gold bikini and readjust my sports bag. "I wish I'd had time to go home first. I look like I've been dragged through a bush in the rain."
"Well, I can help with that." She grabs my arm before I can argue and leads me into the gazebo, shooing away the couple hooking up on the sun lounger to give us privacy.
After retrieving a hairbrush from the depths of her purse, she spends the next few minutes detangling my chlorinated hair while quizzing me about tryouts. I tell her all about it, grateful when she moves away from pulling my hair to doing my makeup. The concealer comes next, followed by some creamy blush and a dash of lipstick.
"Much better," she says. "Now, put on your swimsuit."
I'm about to protest that it's still wet when she whips off her sarong and holds it before me like a shield. Sighing, I reach into my bag without arguing – I've long since learned it's futile with Addy – and slip it back on before letting her wrap the sarong around my waist.
"There," she says, and when she shows me a glimpse of myself in her compact, I'll admit, I'm impressed with what this girl can achieve in just a few minutes. "All right," she says, hooking an arm through mine, "let's go and celebrate my best friend being a sneaky swim goddess."
I laugh and follow her back to the pool, still on the lookout for Noah when Pax maneuvers through a string of bodies holding three champagne glasses. My stomach tightens the closer he gets, but behind the fear of knowing one of those glasses is for me is a sense of defiance. For so long, I've let the accident dictate my life, and if I can conquer the water, why can't I conquer this too?
"To Ever," Pax says, handing us the drinks, "our honorary Calbear," and I take a deep breath before reaching for a glass.
Addy glances over, surprised. "Are you sure? 'Cause I can go and find something non-alcoholic."
I stare at my glass for what feels like forever. My fear was never about alcohol, I realize. It was about a loss of control. But one drink doesn't have to mean the end of the world, and if there's ever a time to celebrate with something, it's right here, right now, with my friends.
"I'm sure," I say and hold up my glass, grinning from ear to ear. "Cheers."
Our glasses clank together before we take a long sip. The liquid tastes bitter, and even though I've drank champagne a thousand times, it tickles my throat like it's the very first time. I shudder a little, smiling when Addy peers up in concern, and relieved, she smiles too. With a final clank of our glasses, the three of us down the rest of our drinks and let Addy drag us to dance.
It doesn't take long for the lightheadedness to kick in, but whether it's down to the dancing or champagne remains to be seen. Pax and Addy hold me up a little, laughing as we stumble together. I'm laughing too, this feeling in my chest that I haven't had in ages, like when you know somehow that, even though it's just begun, the night will be one to remember – it feels like it already is.
I'm halfway through my second glass of champagne when the elevator opens. I steady myself with the help of Pax's arm, because either I've turned into the world's biggest lightweight, or the mere sight of Noah can knock me off my feet. And even though I can't be sure, something tells me it's the latter.
Definitely the latter.
A/N
Hey guys, sorry for the delay! I took a bit of a break and will now be back to updating Tuesdays and Fridays.
Comment a heart if you enjoyed this chapter and get ready for some drama in the next chapter! ❤️👀