︰୨୧・꒱ ────sixth year: lost.
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summary :: secrets, comebacks, letters, wolf whistles, lots of fun!!!
notes :: i was going to scrap this whole story but it had potential so after MONTHS, i'm reviving it.
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"with your hostages, my heart and my car keys„
24th april 1978.
it had been two weeks since the incident. whispers travelled around the castle like a plague. it's official, athena told herself, she was known as the school's whore. the slut.
she liked regulus and kissed sirius, but to everyone else, she fucked them both. remus won't speak to her or sirius, pandora's been different, evan and barty have been trying to cheer her up more than usual — everything's changed.
she didn't go down for breakfast anymore, rarely showing up to dinner and when she did, she'd try her hardest to sit alone. she felt terrible for the shit that evan, barty and sirius were facing due to her drunk decisions.
people have started to lay off sirius by now, two weeks was enough for the guy's backlash. but god knows how long it would last with people talking about her.
and she hadn't seen any sign of regulus since. she's suspected he went home but when she asked pandora about it, she told her he was probably just busy.
why would he even bother going home over someone he didn't care about? someone he wouldn't even put the effort in to date? surely, that same effort wouldn't be enough to make him pack his bags; owl his parents; and arrange going home.
as she walked into her first class of the day, she had walked right into a paper aeroplane, enchanted by none other than nott. she didn't give him the attention he desperately wanted, just stuffed the paper into her pocket and walked to her seat.
she swore that it was the moment her ass hit the chair that someone wolf whistled. she looked around to find out who it was and she saw xeno glaring at a group of ravenclaw boys. she gave him a small smile once their eyes met and he returned it, nodding.
"did you fuck them both at the same time?" someone yelled from the back and athena whipped her head back round to face the right way. next to her was evan's seat but he was nowhere to be seen. she blinked back tears, wishing he was here.
don't you dare, she told herself. don't you dare fucking cry, athena. suck it up.
she took a breath as the professor walked in and still, no evan. no barty either, she noticed, spotting his empty seat on the other side of the classroom. she just saw them last night — where the fuck were they?
a note fluttered onto her desk and she didn't know where it came from as she was busy looking at barty's empty seat. she opened the note and blue ink stained her hand, noticing that the pen exploded. squinting, she tried to read what the splotchy ink wrote.
after a few seconds of struggling, she finally read, "meet us in upstairs boys' bathroom, e.r & b.c.j. be qui—"
the ink exploded at the 'i' and athena couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh at the malfunction.
she walked over to the desk, looking down at her professor. she clutched her stomach cleverly, sighing as she leaned against the desk. "can i be excused? i think i'm.." she pulled an awkward face, trying to send a message. "y'know, time of month."
"oh!" the professor's face flushed bright red. "yes! off you go."
she smiled and grabbed her stuff, letting go of her stomach and walked quickly out of the classroom.
the boys bathroom wasn't too far away, but athena was in her mind so much that she accidentally walked down the wrong corridor, taking the long way. as she made her way over, she held back tears and wondered when on earth the teasing would stop. would she have to come out and say something for them to stop? address it?
she didn't think she owed it to anyone except remus and regulus. but remus won't speak to her and god knows where regulus is.
she walked into the bathroom, still deep in thought and heard her favourite voices shout her name.
"jenkins!"
"she's here."
she smiled, barty and evan coming into view, the sight of them lighting up her mood immediately. she ran to them and hugged them both, one arm around each of them and her head squished between their shoulders. evan stepped back as barty swooped his arm around her back.
"what's up?" she mumbled, pulling off her best friend.
"nothing, just didn't think you'd want to deal with classes today," evan said, sharing a look with barty. "especially with the slytherin boys— and after what they found out."
"what did they find out?" she asked, her voice surprisingly demanding.
"that regulus is back home," barty said. "everyone thought he just disappeared, but he was so surprised... he told his parents that dumbledore suspected him and that was the only thing they needed to hear to be convinced. they brought him home."
"what the fuck?" she said, leaning against the sink. "why would that make them hate me more? i thought they didn't like regulus."
"it's like an unspoken code within the slytherin boys to be loyal. and any excuse they have to pick on you, they'll take.." evan answered, not looking at athena in the eyes.
"fucks sake. have any of you spoken to him?"
"no. we tried," he said. athena noticed how quiet barty suddenly got. "he's ignoring our letters."
she nodded, then looked over at barty, death staring him. he looked down at the ground, avoiding her stare.
"you know something," she said, stepping closer to him. he stepped back cautiously, flinching. "you stupid fucker, what are you keeping from me?"
he didn't say anything, just stared at her.
"what is it?" she yelled. she turned to evan, pointing a finger straight at him. "do you know what he's hiding?"
"no." evan said, a clear lie on his lips.
"be fucking honest," she said firmly. "what the fuck, you guys? you're, like, my only friends right now!"
her voice broke as she yelled and she took a breath, trying to shake it off.
"please. tell me."
barty sighed and looked down, blinking rapidly. when she looked at him again, she noticed tears brimming in his eyes, the bathroom light making it all the more obvious.
"i'm not telling you, it's for your safety," barty said, crossing his arms over his chest as if to tell her that's his final decision.
he ran his hand through his hair and started walking to the door.
"i swear to god, if you walk out of that door, crouch, i'm never talking to you again."
he turned around, facing her but still hanging by the exit of the bathroom. "we both know that's not true. i'm not regulus, i won't avoid you just because you tell me to."
she felt her heart pang as his words set in. he was completely correct, she couldn't afford to lose him and evan. but she needed to know. it was obvious that they were hiding something very obvious.
she knew barty wouldn't change his mind so she walked over to evan, holding onto his hands. "please, ev."
he swallowed, a thin but obvious layer of sweat coating his forehead. "ath, i can't. i wish i could, love."
she stepped back from him, letting out a frustrated groan. "fine. i'm sending him a letter myself."
she whipped round, basically sprinting out of the bathroom and she could feel their stares burning through her as she left, rushing to get away from them.
once she disappeared, evan looked up at barty, his breathing heavy. "what the fuck is he going to do?"
***
25th april 1978.
she sat at her desk, staring down at the blank parchment in front of her. she took a breath in, the quill in her hand tickling her sweaty palm.
so far, all she's written is dear regulus,. she even contemplated that opening because she didn't want to sound too desperate.
right now, she decided she didn't care about how desperate she sounded, she just needed words on the page.
pandora sat behind her, braiding her long blonde hair and carefully watched athena panicking.
"panda, should i open with hello or does that not make sense?" athena asked, still intensely staring at the paper.
"yeah, it makes sense."
"but it makes me eager to talk to him, especially considering we're not talking."
"well, you do have to apologise for snogging his brother," she snickered, tying one of her braids with a hair tie.
athena turned around and glared at her best friend, shaking her head. "shut up. he started the whole not talking thing by being afraid of committing."
"ath, i don't think that's a crime.."
athena's usual instinct would be to shout and defend herself — go into attack mode — but she saw no reason to. pandora's words were exactly right and athena finally realised, while sitting there.
"you're right.. i just wish he didn't entertain me before that," athena mumbled.
"he probably was confused about his feelings.. or your intentions or.."
"yeah, i get it." she nodded, cutting her off. she turned back to her letter, clearing her heads of any loud thoughts and finally started writing.
***
dear regulus,
hello, i hope you're doing okay. first of all, i wanted to say i'm sorry — but i don't want to spend too much time apologising because i'd like to save that for when i see you in person again. or if i ever see you in person again.
i know evan and barty have a secret but i don't know what. as much as i love them, i don't think anything i do will manage to convince them to tell me, they'd rather start crying and sweating in front of me than tell me. i trust you'd be different, you'd want to tell me. i've always felt sort of left out in our group, seeing as i'm the only ravenclaw but now i feel even more out of the loop. and i don't want to end friendships with any of you over a silly secret.
also, i miss you. i don't know why you've gone back home but rumours have been circulating which make sense. don't worry, i've been receiving the perfect backlash from the slytherins if i was the reason. again, i'm sorry. i was drunk and it didn't mean anything. remus won't talk to me either anymore, and rightfully so. i just wish you were in the castle again. things are weird without you. come back soon.
lots of love, tina. xx
***
27th april 1978.
to a,
i have no idea what secret they mean. i'm coming back in may, we can talk about the apology then. i'll convince them to tell you when i get back. until then, send letters with a code. you're lucky my parents didn't find your letter before i did. remember, they know your family and status. i'm doing fine, missing everyone. sorry about the slytherins.
from, regulus.
***
2nd may 1978.
second day of may. athena was annoyingly aware of that fact. because there was still no sign of him and that wasn't surprising — in may could mean the very last day of may and it was only day two. but she wished and wished it was earlier.
she almost sent him a letter to ask about specific days but, despite her not caring about looking desperate, that was a whole new level of needy.
finally, the brunette went down for breakfast in the great hall, feeling a slight tang of excitement. it was unlikely but maybe today could be the day, still.
smiling slightly, she sat down by evan and barty, surprised to find that no one was calling her name or yelling crude things. maybe regulus stuck to his word and did tell the slytherins to lay off ... it was unlikely.
"still waiting for him to get here?" evan asked, a smile on his face. athena could tell he was teasing, but something about his question sounded genuine. like he could see her excitement.
"shut up," she smiled, picking up some waffles and carefully placing them on her plate. this was the first time she had a breakfast that wasn't a bag of sweets she found in her room in a very, very long time. "i'm not sitting around waiting, just excited."
"yeah?" evan asked, raising his eyebrows. "i think he'd fucking love to her that."
she laughed, shaking her head and cutting into her food, tucking a strand of hair behind ber ear. "or he'd feel embarrassed at the fact someone could show that much affection for him."
"embarrassed? never. grateful, though, very grateful."
athena quickly realised that wasn't evan's voice — or barty's — and she looked up from her waffles to evan. his eyes weren't on her anymore, but they fixated on something behind her. she turned around quickly, her hair falling into her face.
there stood regulus black — the same raven black curls athena loved running her hands through, the same sharp as ever cheekbones and her favourite part; the rare grin he cracked.
she was about to jump to her feet when she felt his arms snaking around her and he leaned down to press his head into her neck, breathing her scent in. not untangling his arms from around her, he sat next to her, still not dropping the perfect smile.
"i have so much to say, but—"
his fingers brushed against her lip, shushing her. he shook his head. "not now. later."
she smiled and nodded, resting her head against his shoulder and passing him some breakfast.
"reg, you look awful, did you sleep at all?" barty asked, stuffing his face with scrambled eggs like he'd never seen food in his life.
"i fucked up my sleep schedule," regulus answered, watching the speed at which his best friend was wolfing his food down at. "got somewhere to be, mate?"
"morning detention," he said through a mouthful. "can't waste too much time here."
"right," regulus nodded. "so later we can talk about what secret it is you're hiding from my girl, yeah?"
evan's face went sheet white, the food in his throat refusing to go down. barty, on the other hand, couldn't care less. he swallowed his food, then nodded.
"it'd be better with you here, actually." he smacked his hands together and stood up, fixing his hair. "see yous later."
once he walked off, athena looked at regulus. "your girl, hm? so i'm assuming we're forgiven."
"i still want to talk to you. is that okay?"
"perfect."
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song at the start ::
letter to an old poet by boygenius.
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