With nowhere else to go Zhan went to Ziyi's apartment. As soon as she saw him, she embraced him and he began to cry. He sobbed as Ziyi consoled him, while he held the only thing he had left in his arms.
"Zhan..," Ziyi saying putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You need to stay strong for her."
"I know.. I know...," he said wiping his tears.
"What do you plan to do? You know my offer still stands. You can stay here until you settle into a new place."
"I'm not sure. I still need to get the divorce papers in order. I went to the apartment and got all my important documents. I left everything else behind except my backpack with some clothes and some things Yanli might need. I could go back to my parents' home, but they're older already and retired. I don't want Yanli to disturb them."
"Stay for as long as you need. It gives me an opportunity to see this little angel," she said as she caressed Yanli's face. " I have to head to class. Help yourself to whatever you need."
"Thank you Ziyi."
-
Over the next few days Zhan talked to a lawyer to work on the divorce papers. Zhan kept getting calls from the hospital, but he ignored them. He wanted nothing else to do with Xuan or his treatment.
He was staying in Ziyi's small apartment. She had a small 1-bedroom apartment, but luckily it had a small office. That was where Zhan and Yanli were staying. Zhan also barely had any money. All the cards he shared with Xuan, he left them in the apartment. He had a few hundred dollars he took that were inside a drawer for emergencies to help him get by until he could find a job and settle into a new place.
One morning, after Ziyi went to class, Yanli began to cry for her bottle. Zhan quickly prepared it for her and began to feed her when the doorbell rang. With Yanli still in his arms he went to the door and opened it, and to his surprise it was none other than Wang Yibo. It had been months since their night together.
"Zhan-ge."
"Yibo," Zhan said unable to believe that Yibo was standing right before him.
Zhan was feeling so many emotions as he stood in the doorway. Yibo was standing before him. They stood staring at each other for a long time until Yanli began to cry. Zhan had somehow shifted the bottle and Yanli wasn't able to suck the milk out anymore.
Zhan broke eye contact first as he looked down at Yanli and fixed the bottle," I'm so sorry baby. Shh.. shhh... shh."
Unable to contain his emotions any longer, Yibo wrapped his arms tightly around Zhan, releasing all the pent-up feelings he had been holding back for months. The embrace was everything Zhan needed in that moment. It provided a sense of safety, security, and the feeling of being cared for. Zhan no longer felt alone. In Yibo's arms, he let go of everything he had been holding onto and began to sob quietly, finally allowing himself to release the pain and sorrow he had been carrying.
After a long moment in the embrace Yibo finally spoke up, "How are you holding up?"
"I'm okay," he said looking up at Yibo with his tear-stained face. Yibo smiled and wiped the tears off Zhan's face gently. He then looked down at Yanli and smiled even bigger.
Zhan motioned for Yibo to come into the apartment and sit on the couch, "Come in." After Yibo sat down, Zhan sat right beside him still feeding Yanli. "How did you know I was here? Or wait... did you come looking for Ziyi?" Zhan said realizing that maybe Yibo wasn't even there for him at all.
Yibo chuckled. "Did I not make my preferences clear that night? Have you forgotten?" Zhan turned bright red. "I bumped into Ziyi not long after you went back to him. We got talking and we exchanged numbers. I asked her to please update me on how you were. That's the only thing we talked about. She let me know you're staying here so I drove up from Jiuxian to come see you."
"What are you doing in Jiuxian? Isn't that one of those small tourist villages by the mountains?"
"It is. My mom lives there with her husband. After you left my apartment that morning, my uncle wanted me to go to the states to get a 4-year business degree, but I ran off to be with my mom instead. She needed some help, so I've been helping her."
"I bet it's beautiful there this time of year," he said feeling nostalgic. He had grown up in a small village like those with his parents. He loved how there was so much to do especially since he didn't grow up with much money. "I grew up in a small village like that. I loved exploring the village. I'd swim in the rivers and climb to the top of the mountain by myself. We didn't have any luxuries like tv's or computers."
Yibo listened intently to Zhan's childhood stories with so much interest. It was the first time Zhan told him anything about his childhood. "It is beautiful. Unfortunately, when I was younger, my mom had to drag me over there. I hated going. I always thought there was nothing to do since my mom didn't have a tv and there was no WI-FI. I also hated my mom's new husband. That's probably why too."
Zhan had remembered the conversation he was exposed to at Yibo's apartment. "You don't like your mother's husband?"
"When I was young, I hated him. Sadly, I didn't understand it when I was younger. I was upset because she left my father and I thought she left us too. I was so angry at her, but more angry at him for taking her from us."
"That must have been really tough being so young," he said looking down at his own daughter and sighing. Was he also taking her away from her father?
"It was," he said. There was so much he wanted to say. So much that he had been dreaming of telling Zhan, but he had to hold himself back. He could see that Zhan wasn't ready.
Yanli had finally finished her bottle and Zhan began to burp her. Yibo watched as Zhan delicately brought her to his chest and began to lightly tap her back. Zhan was a natural. Yibo also noticed the beautiful smile he so longed to see again. A real genuine smile filled with happiness and love. Zhan looked up at Yibo and saw that same look he had when he would stare at him in the library during those long hours they were working on their project.
"Zhan-ge. You're a natural. You make it look so easy."
Zhan began to blush again. "Erm... Do you want to hold her?" he asked. Without even waiting for a reply, he stood up from the couch and began putting her into his arms. "Here... put your arms out... here... hold her and put this arm under her head to support her.... yes, like that."
"Hi little Yanli... you're so big already. Last time I saw you, you were inside your mother Ziyi." He smiled and cooed at the little bundle in his arms. "You're so beautiful. Just like your father." Yanli yawned and found comfort in Yibo's arms. She rested her little head on his chest and smiled softly as her eyes closed.
"Easy right?" Zhan said teasingly. "If only that was her every single day. I'm going to have to hire you to help me put her to sleep every day."
"I'll do it every single day if you want me to."
Zhan and Yibo exchanged glances and then Zhan quickly looked away. His heart began to race. A quick flashback passed through his mind of his night with Yibo making his cheeks burn. Yibo smirked.
"Zhan-ge... how about taking a small trip for a few days. I'm leaving back to Jiuxian at the end of the week. Come spend a few days over there. A change of scenery would be good for you and Yanli."
"I don't know. I'll just be a burden with Yanli. I don't have any money and I don't even have a car seat for her" he said.
"Don't worry about any of that. Think about it okay?"
"Okay I will."
The next day Zhan picked up the divorce papers from the lawyer. When it was done, he left Yanli with Ziyi and headed to the hospital.
When Zhan walked into the hospital room, he was shocked at what he saw. Xuan was lying on the hospital bed with his wrists bound to the metal railing of the bed.
At that moment a nurse walked in with a syringe. "What happened?" he asked.
"We had to restrain him. He's been trying to take out his IV's and has become very violent, but we've been giving him some tranquilizers so his body can finish healing."
"Do they knock him out right away," he asked clutching the divorce papers in his hands. The nurse nodded. "Could you please give me a few minutes. I need him to sign something."
"I'll give you 5 minutes," the nurse said and left the hospital room.
"Zhan... please... tell them to let me go," he sounded sick. His throat was hoarse.
"I'm here for you to sign the papers. Please. I need to get back to Yanli as soon as possible."
"Zhan Zhan. I love you so much, please," he pleaded. "Baby please untie me."
Zhan took a pen and placed it in his hands, but Xuan let it fall to the floor. "Xuan please!" he cried out as he picked up the pen and tried to place it in his hand again. This time Xuan threw it at his face.
Zhan whimpered in pain as the pen hit his eye. He took a deep breath. His temper was rising, but he had to remain calm if he wanted the papers signed.
"I'll never divorce you," he said. "I will fight for you and Yanli. I'll do anything."
"I guess now that he's dead you have nothing else to do, but be faithful to your family," he spat at the man he once loved more than anything in the world. "I will never forgive you. I can't. I don't care if he's dead because you'll find someone else to replace him... but you know what hurt the most? It's not the cheating, or me seeing those pictures of you two... it was that when Yanli needed you to be a dad and get her the medicine she needed you decided to fuck it all up and find him. You chose him over our daughter."
Xuan was crying. He kept trying to wipe his eyes, but the restraints made it impossible.
"Xuan.. I'm begging you. If you loved me at all... if you loved Yanli at all.... please let us go. I won't ask for anything. I won't take your home or your money." Zhan kneeled by the bed and took his hand in his. Xuan cried even harder as he felt Zhan's warm hands on his.
"ZhanZhan.. I'm ... so...rryy.." Zhan gave Xuan's hand a gentle squeeze. Zhan was also crying.
"Please, just sign it Xuan. It's all I'll ever ask of you. Please at least give me this."
For a moment Zhan felt like he would get what he wanted until he saw Xuan's face completely turn dark. "No... we won't get divorced. She's mine. She's my daughter.... I paid for her. I paid for her! She's mine!" He grabbed onto Zhan's wrist tightly.
"Let me go, you're hurting me," Zhan said trying to break free. Xuan gripped Zhan's wrist and twisted it in an unnatural way until a pop was heard. "Ow, Xuan let go. Stop please. STOP PLEASE!"
"I won't sign the papers. I'll take this to court. They'll give her to me since you have nothing. Everything you have is because of me," he said through clenched teeth, finally releasing the grip on his wrist.
Zhan grabbed his wrists delicately trying to hold back the tears. He grabbed the folder and the pen and walked out the door. He felt defeated and drained. He would have to try another day. For now, Zhan just wanted to see his baby girl and hold her tight.