Fa'iza Mubarak Hakimi.
I have never felt so tired in my entire life. No one told me weddings are so stressful. I don't even want to marry again. This is just Ruqayya's wedding, and I'm this tired. What happens when it's my wedding then?
It's not like I can even get married. I mean look at me. Why would someone in their right senses want to marry someone skinny, dark and short? That's such a bad combo.
I sigh and push the duvet off my body as I stand up to pray Subh. The sun is already shining through the slightly drawn windows and instead of me to rush and pray my missed prayer, I'm laying there thinking about how I won't get married because of marriage stress.
I wonder why Ruqayya didn't wake me up. I look to her side of the bed to find that she isn't there. Typical, the bride jitters had her awake early probably and the aunties won't let her rest.
I walk to the bathroom and perform ablution after brushing my teeth. I come out and pray Subh before deciding to go and see if there's anything I can help with, despite the fact that the bed looks very inviting. A little too inviting.
I make the bed and tidy up the room. I am cleaning the drawers and ridding them of the things Ruqayya and her cousins kept there last night when they were having the "last night as a single lady" stuff. My eyes catch a phone and I frown. That's Ruqayya's phone. I pick it up to find that it's dead.
I quickly plug it to charge and it comes to life before I go back to the dressing mirror. That's when I find three papers, each folded once and kept carefully atop the order. That's weird. I open the first one and my frown becomes deeper as I read the words in Ruqayya's handwriting.
Soon enough, my frown turns to a surprised look once I reach the end of the handwritten letter. No way in hell this is true. It just can't be. I look at the paper again and read it.
I unfold the second paper, hoping, praying to Almighty Allah that this is some sick joke and that Ruqayya will burst into the room any time soon and laugh at my shocked face.
My shock only heightens when I read the second paper which is directed to Abba.
By the time I'm done reading that letter, panic has begun to settle into my bones and my hands are shaking as I unfold the last letter. Ya Allah please make this a prank. Ya Rabb please, bah dan halina bah.
I open the letter and the moment I read the first paragraph, all hopes of it being a prank crash to the ground and it takes everything in me to finish reading the letter before I run out, heading straight for Ummi's room.
I stop by the door before remembering one of the phrases in Ruqayya's letter to me, it's an amanah. So I tuck the piece of paper into the pockets of the joggers I slept in and zip the pocket. I pat the pocket down and drop my oversized shirt, hoping that it's not obvious.
I find her talking to Aunty Hassana and I am so grateful that it's just them. I hand the letter over to them and start wringing my fingers.
Ummi doesn't read them immediately I give her, instead, she looks up at me with confusion.
"My reading glasses aren't close Fa'iza and I have a lot of things to do. Ruqayya hasn't come to me and the beautician is late." I gulp, no one knows.
"The letters are from Ruqayya, read them." Ummi frowns and stands up to find her reading glasses when Aunty Hassana stops her.
"Kawo in karanta miki." Ummi hands her the letters and Aunty Hassana's eyes widen before she clears her throat.
She reads the one addressed to Abba first, then the one addressed to Bello.
"Innalillahi wa Inna ilaihir rajiun. Have you tried calling her?" Ummi stands up, probably to look for her phone, but I stop her with my voice.
"I can't, her phone is still here, in the house. And I can't find my keys." Ummi sits back down, her head in her hands as she repeats the same supplication over and over again.
"Gashi Abban naku baya nan. He's on his way to meet Alhaji Kabir. Na shiga uku." Aunty Hassana pulls Ummi to her.
"Ai Dole kiranshi za'ayi ya dawo ya gane wa idonsa. Saboda wannan bah maganan da za'ayi a waya bane." Ummi nods, seemingly agreeing with Aunty Hassana. She stands up immediately and takes her phone.
I watch as she dials Abba's number and he doesn't pick twice, I can literally feel my nerves jump everytime the double sounds that indicate ringing comes.
When she calls the third time, he picks and she immediately breathes a sigh of relief together with her salam.
"Ameen wa alaikis salam, sweetie lafiya?" On a different occasion, I would've smiled because of Abba's endearment, but I want more than anything for him to come back home now.
"Toh, kawai dai ka dawo gida."
"Gida kuma? Ina wajan Alhaji Kabir ne. Muna maganan dan get together da zamuyi after daurin aure ne while ku kuma kuna can gida. Meya faru?" I hear Ummi take a deep breath.
"Dan Allah ka dawo, akwai matsala ne, and I can't sat it over the phone." Ummi sounds like she's about to burst into tears. Aunty Hassana immediately stands up and goes to Ummi's side. She holds her and runs her hand up and down her arm, probably to soothe her.
"Subhanallah, bari in dawo yanzu ina zuwa." Ummi ends the call and plops on the bed, burying her face in her hands as her shoulders shake with silent sobs.
"Where could she have gone to? Meye yake damun Ruqayya haka? Kaman wata karamar yarinya tsakani da Allah?" Aunty Hassana simply hugs Ummi, letting her cry in her arms.
"We can't have the guests finding out what happened, especially not Ruqayya's aunties. So, Fa'iza, you'll go and take your bath normally and get dressed, look around the house. If the beautician comes, tell her to wait, that Ruqayya is a little busy now. Whoever asks about Ruqayya, tell them she's here. We have to keep everything in control until Yaya comes back." I nod and turn to leave when Ummi's throaty voice stops me.
"Ask the security by the gate, yaushe sukaga Ruqayya ta fita, kuma meyasa basu fada mana bah. I will go to Abban Ruqayya's wing and Hassana and I will be there. When he comes, bring him there straight please." I nod again before walking out. I close the door behind me and immediately hear it click, probably Aunty Hassana locking it.
I school my expression before walking back to the room. I open the wardrobe and find my skirt and blouse hanging, Ruqayya's own right beside mine. We were supposed to match, but while her atamfa is embroidered, mine is gold painted. But the sewing style is almost the same, and while hers is a bold red color, mine is a blush pink color.
I take the letter out of my joggers pocket and put it in the innermost pocket of my suitcase, together with the phone she left. I don't want to even think about what I'm going to do with it, I'm just going to keep it away for now.
I take a cold shower and lotion my body. I use some perfume and deodorant before putting on my clothes. It feels like an abominable act to put the clothes on. The reason I am wearing it is not here. I don't bother with the headgear, knowing that it is of no essence and I will eventually have to take off the clothes when everything is settled.
I wonder what Abba's reaction will be to those letters. I'm sure for one, he'll be very angry and disappointed in Ruqayya. But then what? What will he tell Alhaji Kabir and his wife? What will he tell his guests? What will he tell all the people that have come from far and near specifically for this event? This is going to be so hard for him.
My mind drifts to Bello and I suddenly feel my heart reach out for him. I have seen how much he loves Ruqayya, if his gifts, calls and visits are anything to go by. What will he do when he finds out what happened? I bet he'll be so heartbroken. Ya Allah!
Ruqayya what have you done?
I step out of the room and lock it before walking out, greeting aunties with a small fake smile on and returning back greetings from kids all over the house. Some people have already started eating and old women are yodeling outside. It's just an hour and a half to the daurin aure. Time goes by so fast.
I walk to the gate to find the security standing there, one of them is in a police uniform, a gun to his side. I greet them.
"Kunga lokacin da Ruqayya ta fita?" The other security that is in mufti thinks before he snaps his fingers.
"Tabbas jiya ta fita misalin karfe uku haka, tace zata tafi drive ne. Da wani bakar mota ta fita."
"Toh kaga dawowarta?" The man thinks again before he shakes his head.
"A'ah, banga shigowarta bah gaskiya. Wani abu ne?" I manage a smile before shaking my head.
"A'ah. Na gode." Almost immediately, I hear sirens and Abba's car drives inside, his escort remains outside and I watch as he and Alhaji Kabir step out of the car. Why is Alhaji Kabir here?
I go to them and greet them.
"Ina Salman take?"
"Tana gefenka." Abba nods before heading to his wing where Ummi's and his rooms are located.
"Lafiya dai koh?" Abba asks as we walk to the room, leaving Alhaji Kabir in the sitting room with a maid to serve him refreshments.
"Ruqayya ne." Abba's gaze snaps to mine as I knock on the door and push it open with a salam. We enter the room to find Ummi sitting, her eyes bloodshot while Aunty Hassana still has the letters in her hand.
"Ina Ruqayyan?" Abba looks around and Aunty Hassana stands up, giving him the letters.
"Kar ku fita Hassana." Ummi says when Aunty Hassana tries to pull me away.
Abba sits down beside Ummi and reads the letters.
"Waye tsaran wasan Ruqayya? What is this nonsense? Ina take?" Abba is in denial, just like I was.
"She's really gone." Ummi says before she bursts into sobs, holding Abba.
"Ya zanyi da raina? Meye yarinyan take nufi da haka dan Allah? Akan acting? Acting din banza da wofi?" Abba holds Ummi close to him as he strokes her back, his eyes dark.
"But how did she leave without anyone's notice? Ai bazata taka da kafa bah koh? Koh acaba ta dauka? Ya akayi amma ba'ayi noticing fitanta a gidan nan bah?"
"Abba we went to bed together fah. I slept off and left her on the bed, she was tossing around. And I didn't sleep until around 1am. I think she left sometime after that." Abba shakes his head.
"That doesn't make any sense still, ai akwai security. How did she get past them?"
"I asked them, wai she told them she was going on a drive, she took my car." Abba kisses his teeth.
"Call her phone for me."
"Her phone was in the room on top these letter when I woke up." Abba sighs.
"Ya zamuyi?" Ummi says, looking up to Abba. He thinks for about ten minutes, all of us waiting before he snaps his head to me.
"Fa'iza, follow me." Ummi stands up together with Abba and Abba walks towards me.
"What do you want to do?" Abba turns to Ummi.
"Fa'iza will take her cousin's place." I stop dead in my tracks at Abba's words. What?!
"What? No." Ummi says, standing in front of me.
"Salmah, I'm not asking for your opinion. I've already made my decision." Ummi holds me behind her, shielding me from Abba, like that will help block my ears from the absurd words he's saying.
"You can't make Fa'iza pay for Ruqayya's mistake."
"I'm not making her pay for anyone's mistake, she's going to eventually get married. So what difference will it make if she gets married now?"
"Ibrahim, no. I won't sit back and let you ruin her life. Haka akeyi?" I've never heard Ummi call Abba by his official name in such a manner until today. She has only called his name a handful of times, and that's mostly when they're being all lovey dovey with each other. But today, she sounds angry.
"I'm not ruining her life, Salma. Why would I do that? You and I both know that Bello is a nice guy, yanada hankali and we have seen how well behaved he is. Does it matter which of our girls he marries? Aren't they all the same girls we've raised together over the years? What difference does it make whether it is Fa'iza or Ruqayya?"
"It makes a lot of difference. He loves Ruqayya, he willingly chose her. We can't just force Fa'iza unto him. Kasan fah idan kayi forcing mutum yaso wani kiyayya ne zaizo ya shiga. I don't want to subject Fa'iza to a forced marriage." Abba kisses his teeth.
"For Allah's sake Salma stop making a big deal out of this! Ha'an! Nayi baki, from all over the country, here to attend my daughter's wedding. What do you want me to tell them?"
"The truth mana!"
"I refuse to be humiliated and embarrassed." Abba's words sound like steel, hard and concrete. Like nothing Ummi or anyone says will change his mind.
"They barely even know each other! For Allah's sake, Ibrahim!"
"We didn't know each other when we got married, I came into my bedroom and found you. I knew I was getting married but I didn't know who the bride was. And look at us now, more than twenty years later, and we're still fine."
"That's not the same, Ibrahim. Please, don't ruin these children's lives. Da da yanzu bah daya bane. Neither of us had someone we loved before we got married, Bello has loved Ruqayya for more than half a year now." Abba shrugs.
"That's Ruqayya's loss. I know Fa'iza will marry Bello and she'll be happy with him. Right, Fa'iza?" I don't know what to say.
"Abba, I..." I trail off, genuinely not knowing what to say. I have been put in a spot. How do I tell Abba no?
"Fa'iza is my daughter, she has been since the day you brought her home. I won't make a bad decision for her. I have loved, cherished and taken care of her even before she knew me. I paid her school fees, fed her, clothed her, sheltered her and did everything for her even when I had no business doing so. She trusts me and she will do as I say because she considers me her father too, right?" I hear Ummi's gasp.
"Ibrahim, you're blackmailing the poor girl, akan reputation din banza da wofi?" Abba steps closer to me.
"Fa'iza wouldn't want me to lose the elections when they come up next year because of something her stupid sister did, right? She'll get married to Bello to make me happy, koh ya ta?" I nod slowly, not finding it in me to tell him no.
He's right, he has done everything a father does for his daughter and even more for me, even though I'm just his wife's neice. How can I refuse him? How can I let him down?
"Zaka amsa a gaban Allah, abun da kake yiwa yarinyan nan bashida kyau. Ya zaka forcing din yarinya tace eeh?" Abba takes my hand in his and starts walking away from Ummi and towards the door.
"I didn't force her, koh Fa'iza?" I simply nod again.
"Kinga? Fa'iza is a good girl." I can hear Abba's smile in his words and I so much will the tears threatening to fall from my eyes to stay put. I have always been unable to cry in broad daylight, it's always when darkness sets in that I am able to cry.
Two droplets fall from my eyes and I quickly wipe them off.
"Duba fah, kuka take yi!" Abba leans down to my face level.
"Wai haka?" I shake my head, closing my eyes to hold in the tears.
"Kinga? Let me go tell Alhaji Kabir. Where are the letters?" Abba looks around and takes them off the bed. He comes back and takes my hand, leading me outside and down the stairs to where Alhaji Kabir is quietly sipping some zobo.
"Ya akayi? I hope all is well." Abba sits down and hands Alhaji Kabir the letters. I remain standing, my eyes suddenly dry.
"Hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel! Subhanallah! Ya za'ayi kenan."
"Fa'iza here will take her cousin's place. Ita ma tanada hankali sosai. Inace bah damuwa?" Alhaji Kabir seems to be thinking for a bit.
"Toh, bansani bah dai. If we say the wedding has been called off, we'll be the ones that will be embarrassed." Abba nods.
"Kagani, kawai suna zamuce liman ya canza, every other thing will fall into place in due time." Alhaji Kabir sips his juice again before nodding.
"Toh shikenan, I'll head home and tell them now. Ance Bello is already on his way to the mosque. I'll call his brother to turn around with him now." Alhaji Kabir stands together with Abba. Abba accompanies him outside before he comes back and leads me back to the room. He hands me to Aunty Hassana.
"Sai a shirya mana amaryar koh? An kusa daurin aure. I'm sure Hassana will know how to deal with everything." Abba steps out that is it.
That's all, my destiny has been decided within an hour. Ya Allah!
02-06-2023
Edited.
So... Who loves what's going on? I feel so bad for Fa'iza.
Do Y'all want to see Bello's reaction?
Guess what, we're having an Abdallah's POV!!! I can't wait to see Y'all's reaction to it.
And you guys, it's my birthday month! In 22 more days, I'll be a certain age. I'm not telling. All you have to know is that I'm a very small girl🤭I'm just a baby.
If you're not following me on Instagram @meemxy._ and on Tiktok @meemxy, you're missing out on a lot of things. While you'll see a lot of snippets and excerpts, and updates on my writing in general on Instagram, Tiktok is basically for book edits and a hint of personal stuff. Y'all shouldn't pass out on this!
This was supposed to be a Friday update, our usual Friday updates. But it's still a weekend. So that counts, right?
Anyways, I'll see Y'all next week. Pray for me, I have a test tomorrow and I don't know shingbai!
Okay, bye!