By the time we were all finished, we heard the rain starting to pour outside..
Yikes
And I haven't brought my umbrella with me, how beautiful, even though the bus stop is across the street from college, it's pouring so hard that I think I'll get soaked the first second I step outside.
Thea recommended that we all go to her and Brielle's apartment because they're the closest from here, but oh god, I know that if we all go there we'll end up smoking weed all night and we won't even try to go to the drawing class tomorrow.
"Unfortunately, I think I'll just get soaked to the bus stop, and I left Minji alone for too long today, he'll go crazy. And I could really use some sleep, yall have fun tho! I'll probably see yall tommorow."
Brielle of course wasn't approving of me going alone at night with a bus, but this isn't the first nor last time it's happening. So she just gotta deal with it.
But the tricky shit is that it's 11pm now, so I might fumbled the last bus to my apartment, and it's honestly too much of a hastle to walk there because it would take me a fucking hour to get there.
Sometimes I hate not having my car with me here.
So I waited.
I waited
And waited
Aaaaaand waited my ass off for an hour but the bus wasn't even planning on coming.
Great.
Just how I like it. And I don't have money for a taxi because I busted my taxi money for Meguru when he fell.
And the rain also wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon.
It's currently 12:34am
Wow
Imagine being stuck at a bus stop for an hour and a half and not wanting to crash at a friend's place because of little bit of weed. Ugh.
While I was stuck in my overthinking negative thoughts like every time I'm alone, I heard footsteps.
A guy came up.
But not just any guy.
It was my so called "favorite situationship", Shidou Ryusei.
"You too had classes till now huh?" I asked for some reason, maybe to reassure myself because I hated being quiet with him. It made me kinda dizzy.
"Well what can I do, Dane likes to shit talk about how bad we are until 11pm, you know how it is."
"Yeah, I know."
I stared at the rain pouring, and the yellow street lights peeking thru, the buildings around all had dark brown bricks, which made this situation even more dramatic than it is. I was really wet. Not that kind of wet that y'all horny asses think. But I was fucking soaked, sitting on a metal bench with this motherfucker who was also soaked. I wanted to laugh honestly. At this point I thought I was going to stay here because I don't have money for a taxi. But oh well,
Ryusei is here,
So I might as well take the opportunity to get home somehow.
"Ryusei?"
"Yes?" He turned his head looking at me, too calmly, which is, weird.
Because, well, to be short as possible, I don't call him by his name.
Literally never. Unless I want to fuck him. Which now isn't the case, because I'm simply not in the mood, but damn I need to get home or I'm gonna get a hard fever. But his reaction wasn't like his usual one.
"Do you have money with you by any chance?"
"I do, why?"
"Call us a cab, bus is not planning on coming till morning. We're going to my place."
He did it without asking questions.
Weird.
He's usually very talkative, always has something to say. But now that I see him in this kind of mood, I actually don't mind it at all. He was looking around, in his own world. Some might say that he's high as a kite right now. But he quit doing them a long time ago. And I'm proud of him because of that. He had a rough childhood, but eventually he got everything he wanted by himself. But even when that all happened, he didn't take off the smile of his face. He just vibed with it. And didn't tell anyone.
And typical me, I was thinking, and I was staring. Unintentionally.
"You okay Y/N?"
Fucking hell.
"Oh, um, yeah I was just in my head a bit. Nothing to worry about."
He turned his head away from me, staring somewhere else. Honestly, looking better than ever.
Taxi came after a few minutes. We came in, and didn't even talk for a whole ride. Minji jumped at us immediately, but it was time for him to go in his cage because I need a hot shower right now.
I gave Minji to Ryusei and went to the bathroom to finally relax for a bit.
Ryusei and I know each other since high school, so you could say for 5 years already, I know I said that I don't have any friends from high school, but I meant from that class I was in, we weren't in the same class but we were relatively close besides that fact. We were hanging out after classes, mostly in the park next to the bus station, we had to travel to the city to go to school, so we were just hanging around waiting for our bus, because no one else had to travel that far.
After some time, well, we didn't fell in love with each other, but we admitted to having some kind of feelings for each other. We said that we were each other's "source of happiness". Not that "I like you" shit. I can see that he kind of ditched drugs because of me, I yelled at him a lot, and we had a lots of arguments, because after all, he's my friend, even tho I don't want to admit that to him, he's worth every brain cell I lost doing all that.
And at the end we're both just emotionally unavailable and that's how it stayed. Never got into the relationship, and never talked about making it official. Since then we're just fucking around whenever and wherever we feel like it.
So you could say that I got used to it, after my first breakup ever I didn't want a relationship ever again, but a woman has her needs sometimes, so a fuck buddy was the way to go.
While I was minding my own business in the bathroom getting cleaned up, of course, Ryusei made his way inside.
"Who told you that you could get inside Shidou?"
He moved the shower curtain aside without saying the word, getting inside. His hair was down, already a bit wet from the rain. Eyeliner was smudged around. It looked like he was crying before he found me at the bus stop.
"Ryusei... Is everything okay?"
He looked down at me, but for fuck's sake he actually looked drunk as shit.
Not high, drunk.
Hot water was already running down my body, but at that moment it became cold. Because I was shivering from the way he looked at me.
He moved closer to me, not breaking eye contact, not even for a second. I hate this. He gets me nervous every time when he stares at me. Because, fun fact, I cannot stand having eye contact with people. Especially with Ryusei who has the most sharp stare ever to exist. He almost looked insane. But I liked that side of him.
It's wild.
It's fun.
It's sensual.
Hot.
It's everything a freaky woman wants in her life.
He made me question my feelings towards him with that dozens of times. But feelings aren't the same as attraction to someone.
I can't stand how loud he was as a person. But I liked how loud his sexiness was. That confidence screamed at me.
I also can't stand the mess he has in his apartment. But I liked the mess he makes after he's done with me.
So yeah, I cannot stand the persona. But I like something animalistic that screams off him.
As a friend, everything is okay, but for me to love him or be in a relationship with him, he has to be the total opposite of what he is. And because of that, I wouldn't ever change him.
He turned me around, with my back towards him. His touch was almost like a feather this time. More like he wanted just to hold me. Not to have sex with me.
It was different, a lot different.
He moved his right hand from my thigh to my ribs while little touches are being left behind with his fingers. Just like when he plays his guitar. He was using his fingertips like he was trying to tap the meaning into my body. Almost... like I was empty. Like he's the one who's trying to make me have a meaning, or a reason to exist.
It felt like he was trying to make me feel alive again.
Like... he was trying to love me.
He was touching me so gently that I could cry. Pulling me in and putting his head into my shoulder, hugging me tightly.
"I miss you Y/N... So much. You can't even imagine how much I miss seeing you like before."
I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Everything that comes out of my mouth, in this situation, can be just wrong. He just needs a hug Y/N. But fuck. I have to stop him somehow with that talk. It's wrong but it's better for both of us.
I turned around and hugged him back. Wrapping myself around his strong body like tomorrow doesn't exist.
"Ryusei. I'm sorry... but you know the situation and how it is. I'm not in the state for any emotional connection with anyone. Especially you. Not because you're a bad person or anything, I love having you as my friend and, you know, fuck buddy. But I cannot-"
He shut my mouth with a deep kiss. Which felt heavy. With a lot of grief. It was the first time I ever felt this much emotion oozing off him. It felt like his world crashed down for some reason. But I won't believe it until he says it. And he knows that I hate mixed signals and empty words.
I pushed him off me, to try and talk to him, but damn he went in again.
Well, if he wants it like that, so be it. My nerves are on fire today so fuck everything, if he's not planning to talk, then I won't talk too.
I somehow managed to turn off the water, pulling him out of the shower to my bedroom.
We were still wet, shivering, but, it was like that for a short period of time.
He made his way on top of me, kissing me slowly and deeply.
His hands were all over me, his grip being like doesn't want to let me go ever again.
My whole body was burning up, the two of us becoming twin points of the same bright flame.
I was getting too worked up. I wanted him too much. It was annoying.
And as much as all of this seemed fast and passionate, it was slow as fuck.
I wanted to take the initiative here, but the motherfucker won't let me. He put his hand behind my head pulling me up to his face, his nose caressing my face and his hot breath tingling, following behind. Putting his face next to my earlobe, he managed to bite it, lick it a bit and breathe into it. I hated the fact that I like that. You can drag me to hell, but try that with your partner next time, trust me.
It was like he was trying to say something.
And for fuck's sake, I was right.
"Let me make love to you Y/N... Just this time. Please."
I pulled away from him, not even shocked, it was like I expected him to say some shit like that a long time ago.
I looked in his eyes, and ah.
Yes.
He looked like he was in love. And also drunk as shit.
So, yes, I will be a complete piece of shit to myself. And I will regret this after, but you only live once.
"Make love to me then, Shidou Ryusei."
Oh wow, yall didn't have to wait 6 months for a new chapter, just 1 month :DD
This situation was unplanned, but everything I planned for this, is fucking boring, so yes, I put the drama, before the other drama that's gonna come up, so it's a lot more drama.
I really have to put up with my writing schedule, which is actually good, and exists, I'm just not loyal to it.
I won't make yall wait long for the legit NSFW I promise ;;;)))