ʏᴇʟᴇɴᴀ
Pushing down anything else that might've wanted to come up. It feels like im going die, I really hate vomiting or feeling nausea. I hate the feeling ever, i never felt this before, im not even eating anything.
"Dont tell me you're pregnant?" Aneesa suddenly asked, i choked on myself as soon i heard her question.
"What no of course not." I immediately shook my head as i washed my mouth. "Maybe i just eat something this morning."
There's no way im pregnant, that's definitely impossible. Maybe i just got food poison or something, or probably because im not eating lately that's why i feel sick.
"How do you feel lately?" Aneesa questioned, she gave me her serious look.
"Um..i dont know i just feel nauseous and tired, that's all but that doesn't mean im pregnant, that's crazy." I exhaled, taking a seat on the table while they are still giving me a look. "It's probably on stress."
She narrowed her brows at me. "Are you sure? Then when was the last time you got your period?"
Suddenly it made me stop and think. I just realised that I haven't got my period it's almost end of a month and yet still not having a period. As far as I remember i never delayed my period it's always right on day. Oh God. Im not pregnant right?
"It's...it's almost end of a month." I nervously said, maybe im just delayed. Im just paranoid it just coincidence. "Come on you guys, that's impossible."
"I mean, girl, you and Alex had sèx, so there is possible." Yaz said, giving me his worried look.
"I know but we're using protection and...and we're using...Withdrawal method" I mumbled, as i lower my voice, making sure they wont hear those last words. We do use pull out method whenever me and Alex had sèx and i know he making sure that he pulled out before he released himself.
"Oh no honey, withdrawal method isn't always working and its not hundred percent safe." Aneesa pointed out. "You can still get pregnant."
"And that's explain why you're losing your weight, that's what i noticed." Yaz added.
They are still giving me a look and looking at me like im a kid. And now im starting to believe that maybe they are right? But God, i dont think im pregnat 'cause im hundred sure that Alex is always safe when we're doing it. And not just that, I can't get pregnant, i dont think i can give Alex another child.
I shook my head and laugh. "No, im definitely sure." I sighs. "Can you two please stop overreacting. Im not pregnant, alright? Im fine."
Finally they gave in. Aneesa walked over me and sighed. "Fine, we're might wrong but please Yelena, maybe go see a doctor."
I nodded my head and smiled slightly. "I will."
After what happened I still cannot stop thinking about him. I lost my appetite and feel tired and feel nauseous, is this kind of sign of pregnancy?
I groaned while looking myself at the mirror. Maybe im just overreacting, i cant be pregnant and there's no way im pregnant, maybe im just too stress, sometimes when you are stress it can affect your menstruation and it can lead some irregular. I should stop worrying and freaking out 'cause it's impossible.
I took a deep breath and grabbed some medicine in my cabinet for this. Maybe aspirin can help? God, i dont really know i just want to reduce this kind of feeling. Thankfully i have some medicine 'cause i always prepare some just in case i needed it.
A soft knock startled me, i turned around to see Brielle. "Come on, Yelena. The movie will start in any minute."
"Oh yeah, im coming." I sweetly told her, with that she left and fix myself. I took a quick glance to myself before going downstairs.
Brielle asked me to have a movie marathon. She told me that she wants to watch some movies which is i also want to watch with her. I was actually surprised when she told me that Alex is going to join us. Brielle also told me that she asked her father and to my surprise he said yes. I mean Alex is very busy these days, since when i saw that woman he never had a time, he's always not home and always busy unlike before.
He even go out with that woman and it actually making me annoyed. She just wearing too tight dress and too small that you can clearly see her soul. I dont even know who is that woman but Nora told me she could be Alex's client for his business but damn, she dont look a client for a business.
I barely see him home and i do miss him. We never speak after that night when Alex told me that im too hard to let go, i just told myself that he's only drunk that night, i know he will never be serious and never believe in love. I also told myself that we just do hard fúck and nothing else. I admit that im jealous because i made believe myself that Alex had the same feelings but maybe im wrong.
He's always gonna be asshole who's gonna fúck you and after that he's gonna leave you like nothing happen.
I sighed and helped Nora to prepare for our snacks. When everything's fine I placed the snacks in the table and with that Alex walked in the living room. He look different, his long hair is gone, when did he cut his hair? But damn he always look so good, i even love his hair, specially his little curly hair.
"Daddy, what is your favourite movie?" Brielle asked, while waiting Alex to prepare the movie, holding some The Princess and The Frog DVD for his daughter to watch. Brielle actually took a second to choose a movie and finally she got the perfect one.
"Hmm?" He asked distractedly, fixing the DVD player and the TV screen to look at his daughter.
"Your favourite movie!" Brielle asked repeatedly.
"I dont think he have." I told Brielle, looks like watching a movie it's not his thing so i dont think he have one and not just that he look like he's not even interested at all.
"Of course i have, its Vertigo." Alex answered immediately, he stood up and grabbed the remote control as he opened the TV. "I also watched some romantic movie, the old one."
I laugh coldly, "Romantic? That's definitely a lies." Alex Turner is watching some Romantic movie when he dont even believe in love.
"What lies, Yelena?" He looked over at me.
"Romantic? Not your thing, you dont even believe in love." I stated delicately, i hope that won't make him mad but i dont care anyway I was pissing him off 'cause im a little angry at him.
Alex narrowed his brows at me looking confused right now. "Seriously?"
"Isn't romantic for you is just some clichè?" I raised my brows at him, showing no fear of him, he's definitely getting mad right now.
He groaned loudly, "Yelena, what are you talking about?"
I turned to face Brielle and completely ignoring him. "Sorry, Belle. Your father doesn't like those kind of movie." I told Brielle who thankfully she don't understand what we're talking about.
I could still feel Alex's eyes on me i know he wants to asked me again but he just choose to gave in and just continue preparing the movie. I dont care if Alex is mad right now, im just telling the truth because he's lying for that bullshit.
"What about you, Yelena?" Brielle asked me.
I shrugged my shoulder, "Of course it's love, like The Great Gatsby." I confidently answered her, i think I can't get over with that movie. "The best movie ever, I'll let you watch that when you get older."
"Is there a kissing?" Brielle asked confused, completely forgot that her father is here.
"Alreyt, change the subject please." Alex said loudly and leaning on the couch. "Let just watch some fairytale."
"Yeah, life is a fairytale anyway." I whispered, making sure Brielle won't hear it but im quite sure that Alex heard it 'cause he gave me a death glare.
"Okay, I'll just go get Sabrina." Brielle stood up from her seat and went upstairs to get her favourite toy.
Im trying myself not to look at Alex and trying my best to ignore him as far as i could but as soon that Brielle went to her room. I couldn't help myself not to look at him who standing next to me with a dark look on his face.
"Yelena, what the hell was that all about?" He snarled, throwing hard the remote control on the sofa.
I looked at him and fold my arms. "What? Im just telling the truth." I snapped back, i was become so angry at him not the way he's acting like this but to think that this man is not believing in love. "You dont know anything about love, you'll never understand."
"What?" He asked confused.
"Oh no offence." I rolled my eyes at him and looked over the TV instead.
"I dont understand what you're talking about." Alex sighed, seating next to me. "but in front of my daughter, really?"
God, i know im very mad at him right now but why did he have to look so good? Even in his casual look who just wearing a brown v-neck sweater and black pants, he look completely stunning. His slight slick short hair and some little curly hair falling from his forehead is doing a thing, that i wanted to squeeze during sèx.
"She'll never understand." I muttered.
"Then what is your problem?" He countered, "Why are you behaving like this?"
I turned my head at him and glared at him. "I dont know, you tell me? Because you're confusing me!" This time i yelled at him, "You..."
"Are you two fighting?" Brielle sweets voice suddenly cut me off. We both stopped and turned to Brielle who look worried.
Shit shit shit.
Alex and i were both looking to each other. For the fact we are arguing in the middle of our movie marathon.
"I—No of course not sweetie, we uh...We were just talking." I manage a smile, trying my best to be sweet in front of her.
"Yeah, Im just telling her some good movie." Alex said next to me, who become soft, his dark face finally banished. "Come 'ere, sweetheart."
Brielle hugged her toy and took a seat between me and Alex. If you picturing this we look like a perfect family, i mean my place should be Brielle's mother but instead it was me. This is not the second time, first one is when we went for a dinner just the three of us, then when we went to a children playground.
"Daddy, can you please be friend with Yelena, just for now." Brielle said with her sweet British accent.
Alex and i suddenly look to each other. "Of course i will." He suddenly smile sweetly, the sweet smile of him that in any minute i could gave in.
I just ignore him and turn my head to the TV. I behave as much as possible for Brielle, I didn't want to ruin her moment for that bullshit, i want her to enjoy her time with her father who suddenly had a time, i thought he only got time with that woman. She's always here, i dont know what they even doing.
In the middle of the movie Alex's phone rang, I didn't want to look at his phone but i accidentally looked at his phone laying on the table, the caller name is Delilah. I guess that's her.
"Excuse me, I'll just take this call." Alex said, he grabbed his phone and went to the kitchen.
I couldn't help but feel hurt, i dont understand their relationship. I mean they are always seeing each other, i dont know if they are just business partner or maybe there's something.
Why is there always another girl?
I sighed and just focus on the movie. After a minute Alex cane back and continue watching. As i grabbed the snack when all of sudden as soon i smell it i knew it's not good. I felt sick again and nauseous. I immediately run through the kitchen and throw up again. Oh no.
I pushed everything. Not again. It happened again.
"Yelena, what's wrong?" I heard Alex's voice behind me, i could hear from his voice that he's worried. "Are you okay?"
"Im fine." I said coldly, i washed my mouth and grabbed the napkin and wipe my mouth.
"You dont look you are Yelena, how do you feel?"
"I said im fine!" I yelled at him, he look surprised when i raised my voice at him. I just ignore him and went back to the living room.
...
At ten in the morning i got text from Aneesa telling me that to meet her in the cafe. Back in the day Aneesa and i really loves coffee, like literally almost everyday, whenever we have a time we always hangout at coffee shop. I guess we can't live without drinking coffee. And now we still do love coffee, even though we barely come to coffee shop since everything changed.
And i know coffee is gonna make me feel better. These past week i always having morning sick and i dont even know what's happening, maybe my period is coming that's why i feel shit. And right now even though i dont want to come i still get up and told myself that coffee will make me feel better.
"I go look for a table." I told Aneesa and began to look for a table.
These cafe is always full that's why is hard to find a table and luckily i found one table for two person. I hurriedly run towards the empty table before anyone could take it when suddenly I bumped into someone.
"Im really really sorry." I immediately apologise and grabbed my bag.
I hear the woman groan. "Gosh! Dont you have eyes?"
"Im really sorry miss, I didn't mean..." i looked up to the woman when i just realised who it was.
Pauline.
It's been too long since i saw her, she hasn't changed at all she still beautiful but we know that she's not the person you think. She dump Brielle to choose something she want.
"Wait, i think I know you..." she immediately remembered me, "Oh right, you're Alexander's bítch."
I gasp, "Excuse me?"
"You think i will forgot that face?" She raised one of her brows and giving me one of her bitch face.
I knew it wasn't a good thing bumping into her 'cause i knew she hated me so much. Im not happy either to see her. Small world.
"Okay look, im really sorry for what happened." I turned my back, i should leave before anything will happened, people are already looking at us.
"Hey! Im still talking to you." She raised her voice causing me to stop. "I'll never forgot what happened that day."
"I dont know what you're talking about." I manage to say as i slowly turned to face her again.
She laughed and began to walk towards me. I didn't move. "Stop acting like you dont know, 'cause you know exactly what im talking about. You think you're successful that Alex choose you. well, you're wrong." She tells me. "Honey you dont know Alex that well."
"Of course i know him." I talk back.
"See! At least you admit it that there is a thing between you two." Pauline snap, then cross her arms. "But in reality it's just for a fúcked!"
As soon I heard those last words i knew i had to stop this. "Alright, I dont want any fight." I politely told her, trying my best not raised my voice.
But i knew she's not gonna let it go. Pauline is crazy person and that's the reason Alex doesn't want him anymore in his life.
"Let me tell you this, you think if Alex get you pregnant, you think he will accept you and the baby? Or he probably just gonna abandoned you the same thing he did to me." This make me stop breathing for a second as i went silence, it's like Pauline knew something. "So think twice, Alex is not really serious for a love."
I began to feel nervous and my heart is beating fast. Something came on my mind, i dont know if Pauline is speaking fact or she's just telling me this to leave Alex so she will have him back. Or maybe Pauline really knew Alex well than i am since Alex really do abandoned her when she got pregnant by him.
But my inner self telling me that was a long time and i knew Alex really regret what he did in the past and I believe that Alex changed.
"Maybe he did some horrible things before but people change." I finally spoke, i stepped back and look at her. "You're just unlucky that it happened to you."
This made her laugh again like i just made a joke. "Now you're acting that Alex is really in love with you." She continue to laugh and suddenly stop and turn to face me again. "I dont think so, he will never be with someone like you because you're just a nanny."
I began to triggered. "At least I didn't abandoned my own daughter." I say out loud, "And im not useless mother like you who dont give a shit to her own daughter..."
I was cut off when my head turn to my side. I began to feel my cheeks start burning from Pauline's slapped.
"Putain de salope! how dare you to say that to me!" Pauline screamed, she started to yell and i just stood there not moving.
"Hey! That's my friend, what the fuck is wrong with you." I heard Aneesa's voice and she run towards to Pauline.
"Aneesa just let it go." I said but she just ignore me.
Pauline's friends began to stop her for screaming. "Pauline lets just go, lets go."
"You're nothing but a whore." Pauline yelled again while they are walking out and her friends is dragging her. "Va te faire foutre!"
"Yeah keep walking bitches." Aneesa snap back. As soon they're gone i didn't feel so good. "Who the hell is that?" Aneesa asked worriedly but I didn't say anything im just standing and not moving, i just feel sick. "Yelena? Yelena hey, you okay?"
Everything surrounds me became double and i felt sweat all over me. My breath became so heavy and i could barely hear Aneesa's voice, and all the sound became muffled all i could hear is my breath. Oh God, i know this is not good.
One thing i know everything went black.
I woke up in a different room, i looked around. This is definitely not my room, my room is not white that it look like almost a hospital—wait, am i? And definitely this is not a normal room. Am i in hospital? The only I remember i was talking to Pauline and she slapped me and after that everything went black.
"Oh thankfully you're awake, you got me worried." Aneesa said worriedly and moved close to me. "How are you feeling?"
I nod my head and seat up straight. "Im fine, what happened?"
"You passed out, Yelena." She told me, i could hear that she's freaking out.
Before I could speak the doctor just walk in with a smile on her face. It made me even nervous. "You're finally awake, Miss Lebraz,"
"Is she okay?" Aneesa immediately asked the doctor.
"Yes she's fine, her vital is okay, there's nothing to worry about because you just felt emotional stress that's why you pass out." The doctor said as she continue. "And also i want to congratulate you."
I raised my brows and looked at her confused. "Im sorry, congratulate me for what?" I questioned her, as i felt nervous neither Aneesa looked confused.
"Miss, Lebraz, you are pregnant."