Btw the dad is called Brody Shann
I kinda imagined Shan Yu when making him so i tried describing him as much as possible without sounding weird 💀
But anygays take the chapter
SLABS OF TRAUMA ❤️
(1) new message!
[Riddle is online!]
RIDDLE
@Trey Clover , who is the new person Cater added?
[Cater is online!]
RIDDLE
I suppose there's no harm in adding another, so long as it doesn't distract the others from studying...
CATER
Riddle! You used the @ function!
[Ace is online!]
CATER
Nice to know my social media lessons didn't go to waste ^^ wish Lilia could learn from you...
RIDDLE
Yes, your lessons were very useful. I made sure to review what you have taught me.
ACE
Review... 😟
ACE
Trey pick me up I'm scared 🥺
[(Y/N) is online!]
[Deuce is online!]
(Y/N)
Greetings, new child
RIDDLE
New child?
RIDDLE
Surely, you are not referring to me?
DEUCE
(Y/N) PLEASE DONT
CATER
*whispers* *dOnt call him a child😰*
ACE
We're typing dumbass 💀
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
(Y/N)
Aight my bad uh
(Y/N)
Wuss popping big boy 👍
CATER
💀
(Y/N)
Contrary to my username my name is Anna Bortion
(Y/N)
And I'm a second year at Sage Online Academics 😋
RIDDLE
Hello, Bortion
CATER
SKBFSKBFKDBGIEHF
RIDDLE
?
CATER
nothing. 🖐🫢🤚
RIDDLE
My name is Riddle Rosehearts. I am a second year at Night Raven College and also the Housewarden of Heartslabyul.
(Y/N)
Wow thats uh
(Y/N)
A lotta big words 🤩
(Y/N)
You must be great at Wordle
RIDDLE
Thank you. Wordle is one of my favourite games, actually.
CATER
Omg do you know how long Ace pronounced Heartslabyul wrong 💀
ACE
DONT YOU DARE 🔫
CATER
Hear slay ball 😍
DEUCE
IT TOOK HIM WEEKS INTO THE SCHOOLYEAR
ACE
SHUT UP YOU ALWAYS CHECK WITH MY PAPER EVERY TIME WE HAVE TO WRITE THE DORM NAME DOWN
RIDDLE
And you both get it wrong.
(Y/N)
💀
[Trey is online!]
TREY
They never learn, do they 🤷♂️
TREY
But to answer your question,
TREY
Riddle, this is (Y/N) Shann— a friend of Chenya's. He put their number in my phone as a prank, and then Cater added them to this chat.
RIDDLE
So their name is actually (Y/N)?
(Y/N)
...🫥
CATER
Trey read up 🫣
TREY
???
TREY
Ah
TREY
They jokes about their name when they first messaged me, too. It's actually (Y/N) Shann.
(Y/N)
TREY IM BLOCKING YOUDBFHFJS
RIDDLE
They lied to me?
ACE
Ohhhh snap 😳
RIDDLE
...I can see how they are Chenya's friend, now.
(Y/N)
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS LOOP BACK TO HIM⁉️
ACE
GET REKT
(Y/N)
SHUT UP YOU FETUS 🦶
DEUCE
See Ace this is why I'm the favourite child
ACE
No your not
(Y/N)
Yes he is
ACE
Well I'm divorcing you then 🙄 📑📑
CATER
I don't think divorce is the word you're looking for????
(Y/N)
Moving on from that 😃
(Y/N)
I should probably go gay up since I've been wandering in this store for like an hour
(Y/N)
*PAY UP
(Y/N)
*PAY PMFGJDBKDHD
CATER
Yeah you better gay up soon (Y/N) 😉
ACE
You can always lmk if you ever need help gaying up 😫🥵💥💋
(Y/N)
🤢 🤮
(Y/N)
I'd rather gay up with Trey 🤚
TREY
I decline 😊.
CATER
THE PERIOD AFTER THE EMOJI?!!382!8(3!
(Y/N)
M-my dear kitten deuce? 🥺
DEUCE
....I'm sorry
ACE
NO ONE WILL SAVE YOUFROM MY LOVE BABEY UWU DARLING 😍
ACE
ACCEPT MY LOVE
ACE
OR DADDY GET MAD🥶🤬🤬😡👹💯
(Y/N)
YALL IM SCARED 😟
(Y/N)
Riddle dearest
(Y/N)
I am a damsel in distress rn because your student is terrorizing me please save me 🙏
RIDDLE
Well, he isnt breaking any rules of the Queen of Hearts...
CATER
BYE AHAJHDJAHAHAHDJ
ACE
CMERE MY HONEY PASTA MEATBALL APPLE PIE SAUCE 🥵😻🫦😘😘
[(Y/N) is offline!]
▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌
Though I let out a heavy sigh as I shut my phone off, a large grin was plastered on my face from the groupchat's shenanigans.
I really needed to pay for my groceries though— I was starting to get "the look" from workers.
I rushed to the counter and paid for the groceries with legally obtained money, and ran out the door.
'Shit, I forgot I left the hawk at the counter while I bought ingredients.' I thought, thanking the seven that Sage Island is small enough that everything's only a few blocks away(unlike america).
Of course, as soon as I opened the door to Chick 'n Breast...
"SHITTY SEVEN CALM THE FUCK DOWN WATSON!"
The hawk pecked painfully at my forehead, drawing some BLOOD with his sharpass beak. His claws pulled at my head as he redirected himself to enter the restaurant again.
Watson flew around the medium-sized restaurant, running into the lights and walls and letting our eat-piercing screeches.
His gold eyes pierced my soul before he fell into another dive, claws extended to deal maximum damage.
"CALM DOWN JAMAL"
I dropped the groceries and rolled out of the way as he swooped back up, obviously upset about missing.
"NO NEED TO PULL OUT THE NINE??"
The motherfucker screeched, going for the kill once again.
He nicked my arm, making me throw a dirty washcloth at the avian(which missed cause my lazy ass stopped taking gym classes and therefore stopped playing dodgeball).
With colourful profanities I crawled under a table, rocking like a child as I pulled out my phone once again.
▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌
[(Y/N)'s online!]
CATER
So I said
CATER
"What do you want me to get down onto my knees for? 😏"
[Cater was temporarily banned!]
TREY
I'm seriously considering limiting his screen time
TREY
Ace's infecting him
ACE
I HAVENT EVEN SAID ANYTHING???
DEUCE
But I thought using your feet would be more effective?
ACE
💀 OBVIOUSLY YOU USE YOUR HANDS DUMBASS
DEUCE
HOW THE FUCK WOULD THAT WORK??
[Deuce was temporarily banned!]
CATER
(Y/N) WHAT DO YOU THINK
(Y/N)
HUH??1;$:' sk d S G LAAF
(Y/N)
IM BEINF UNDER ATTACJ&;$8
ACE
Oh god it spawned 🤢🧟🧟
(Y/N)
SHUY% UP THIS IS LIF3;/ OR DEATG
TREY
Then how about you text the police instead of us, yeah?
RIDDLE
Are you alright?
(Y/N)
THE FUCJINF HAWK
(Y/N)
FALCON
(Y/N)
HEL PFKNEHS FH S
DEUCE
Hello????
ACE
Is there gonna be food at the funeral?
CATER
OMG give me a shoutout in your will pls
RIDDLE
If they're ins serious danger, this isn't something to joke about
RIDDLE
But a hawk? Are you really being attacked by a bird?
(Y/N)
YES
DEUCE
There's hawks on sage island?
(Y/N)
ITS MY BOSS'S PET
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Cue hearing a rather loud crack from above the table I'm hiding under.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
(Y/N)
IT HATES ME I SWEAR
(Y/N)
MF WONT STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY HEAD OFF
ACE
We have experience in that department🤪
DEUCE
Just give it a good 'ol punch 👍
TREY
Do NOT follow their advice
CATER
A bird though...? That's kinda pitiful ☹️😕😕
(Y/N)
SHUTF
(Y/N)
I'LL SHOW YOU EVIDENCE DAWG
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Riddle's hands paused over his phone, leaving his semi-teasing message only half written.
'Evidence?' He thought, biting the inside of his lip. 'Maybe...'
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
(Y/N)
[A/N: just imagine it to be more realistic until I get the energy to draw smth💀]
ACE
LMAOOOO ITS ACTUALLY TRYING TO KILL YOU
TREY
Honestly, though. A hawk in a chicken restaurant?
ACE
💀
ACE
SHIT IT THINKS YOUR A CHICKEN
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
(Y/N)
😇 Guys when I die
(Y/N)
I want my ashes to be put into a bath bomb
(Y/N)
And have Ace bathe in it as a prank 👍
CATER
GROSS????
RIDDLE
Althoughksbdj
TREY
You broke Riddle
RIDDLE
Although that is your dying wish, I'm afraid that is not possible...
DEUCE
I'll help you out 🤝
(Y/N)
Deuce... 🥺
DEUCE
(Y/N)... 🫡
TREY
Get a room.
(Y/N)
Ignore that meanie's words Deucey babey
(Y/N)
I won't let any Trees get in the way of our love 😍
ACE
HELLO?????????
ACE
I CANT BELIEVE I HUST WALKED INTO YOU ELOPING WITH ANOTHER 😱😱💔
DEUCE
ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIEK HONEY
(Y/N)
ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK WIFEY
ACE
.
DEUCE
..
(Y/N)
CATER
Tea? 😳
DEUCE
Oh my..
ACE
*starts making out passionately*
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
(Y/N)
NOOO THEY GOT OUR BABA DARLING ACE
DEUCE
ITS JUST US NOW 😳
RIDDLE
What a rowdy bunch.
(Y/N)
Rowd on deez nuts
RIDDLE
I do not understand?
(Y/N)
It meanG DKF G G S
CATER
Did the hawk fianlly get them 😭
TREY
About time
(Y/N)
THERES A CUSTOMER CRAP
(Y/N)
ILL BE BACK HONEY
DEUCE
Have fun at work darling 🥺
CATER
I'll be sure to keep the house clean 😍🥰
CATER
....
DEUCE
..
CATER
I CALL DIBS ON THE HOUSE
DEUCE
NO FAIR
DEUCE
FINE THEN IM TAKING THE KIDS AND THE CAT
CATER
NO NOT THE CAT
▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌
The only good thing about the damn bird was that it behaves when others are around.
Honestly the only reason why I knew there was a customer about to enter was because the scratching and pecking on the table I was hiding under suddenly stopped. As I peeked out from underneath, he was perched with perfect poise on a stand in front of the cashier, ready to work.
"Bastard.." I cussed, wincing as I banged my head against the table in my attempt to crawl out.
Rubbing my forehead, I looked behind to be jumpscared by a body builder lookin' NFL linebacker posing in front the glass window.
"Is he looking at his own reflection?" I questioned dumbly, watching him rotate through different poses for a few more minutes before cautiously walking behind the counter to be server-like in case he did enter(while keeping a safe distance from Watson).
My phone kept on buzzing with messages, so with a solid eyeball on the weird guy outside the store, I walked into the kitchen to plug it into a charging cord. I winced as I felt the still-evident injury from the motherfucking hawk, walking back out—
"GOOD EVENING!"
I was Five Night at Freddy's-style jumpscared by the muscle man.
"DADDY CHILL WTF"
He laughed, hands on his hips in the straightest gay way possible. "Haha! I am not your father, child. It's an honour to be seen that way though!"
I imagined my father and this stranger getting together and threw up a little on the inside.
"My name is Vargas!" He grabbed my hands which were put on my chest as a pitiful way to stop my heart stopping from the jumpscare, and shook them aggressively. He glanced at my nameplate, still beaming. "Its nice to meet you, Young (Y/n)!"
He continued talking, but everything he said went through one ear and out the other as I worried that my arms would snap off.
He finally let go, a bigass grin still evident on his face. He pulled out his wallet, which was INFLATED with cash.
"I'd like a box of 50 chicken breasts!"
I blinked a few times to process what he said.
"Fifty...?" Dread shadowed my expression, but I quickly put my act together from a piercing glare from the asshole hawk who was less than a meter away from my arm. "Of course! Will that be uh.. to stay or to go?"
PLEASE TO GO
PLEASE
I WILL KMS
"It'll be to go."
GOD ISNT DEAD‼️‼️
"Alright, would you like to make that a meal?"
"No thanks! Only chicken!" He posed, showing off his back. "Chicken makes the muscles grow!"
"I— I see.... Uh, that would be 69 Madols, sir."
He pulled out a 100 madol bill.
"Keep the change, young child!" He grinned, putting it into my hand. "Use it to build some muscle, yeah?"
I blinked. Was that supposed to be insulting?
Well it dont matter, he gave me money.
"Thank you, I'll be back." I said giving him a polite bow before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a large Chicken Breast™️ box.
After some pain, the FIFTY CHICKEN BREASTS were packed into the box, I walked out to see him having a heated staring contest with Watson.
"Sir?" I lost five years of my lifespan. "I have your fifty chicken."
He immediately broke eye contact with the hawk/falcon and beamed, taking the box from my hands. "Thank you! I'll be sure to visit more often!"
"Haha, don't s—"
He rushed out the door, the chime on the door ringing loudly.
SLAM!
"—weat it...."
Damn okay.
▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌
[(Y/N) is online!]
CATER
I feel like I'm gonna go to jail for dirtying a fetus's mind... :/
ACE
YOURE ONLY TWO YEARS ODLER THAN US
DEUCE
YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR THAT??
TREY
Oh hey, they're back.
(Y/N)
Ya'll're in for a storytime 😃
CATER
LETS GOOOO
CATER
STORYTIME #DramaAlert‼️
ACE
Who's the child now? 😒
DEUCE
Ace you're literally gripping the phone with both hands
ACE
NO ONE ASKED YOU TRAITOR
RIDDLE
That took quite some time. Is everything alright?
(Y/N)
YES???? NO?????? MAYBE????????
(Y/N)
SO THIS HELLA BUFF GUY MATERIALIZED IN FRONT OF THE STORE RIGHT
(Y/N)
6'9 and built like a fucking mountain
[(Y/N) was temporarily banned!]
TREY
Sorry, there's an auto-ban on swears.
CATER
We should totes remove it!
RIDDLE
We "totes" should not, Cater
CATER
CATER
So close 😔
(Y/N)
AKBDKSBFKDHFJ
(Y/N)
ANYGWAYS SO LIKE
(Y/N)
I was kinda scared cause bro was flexing at his own reflection in the store window right 💀
ACE
that sounds oddly familiar..
(Y/N)
And then he pulls a JUMPSCARE on me
(Y/N)
Then he like starts shaking my hand and I thought it was gonna rip off??????
RIDDLE
...
DEUCE
Was his name Vargas? 😭
(Y/N)
Child I am too traumatized to remember what he was saying
TREY
Sounds like Coach Vargas
(Y/N)
I fr don't remember a single letter of his name tho 💀
(Y/N)
Tbh there was prolly an 'a' in it cause who tf doesn't have an 'a' in their name 🤣
DEUCE
..??
(Y/N)
Congrats you're now Deauce 👍
CATER
EAU 💀 🌊
RIDDLE
I'm not too sure about the reliability in your statement...
(Y/N)
WDYM RADDLE 😂 👍
(Y/N)
MY THEORY IS FLAWLESS 🥳😂🤩🤩
TREY
And I would be?
(Y/N)
TRAY 🍳
ACE
BWAHSHHDHAHDHFHAH
ACE
TRA Y
TREY
How have I not blocked both of you yet.
(Y/N)
Pls don't papichulo 🙏
(Y/N)
Think about our kids 🥺
CATER
Bro's having kids with everyone 💀
ACE
You ADULTERER! 🔪
RIDDLE
Calm yourselves.
(Y/N)
Anystraight uh
(Y/N)
Watson would not stop glaring at me like I was literally scared for my life
DEUCE
Watson?
(Y/N)
The hawk falcon thing
DEUCE
Ohh I see
(Y/N)
And then the guy orders 50 chicken breasts
ACE
Holy shit
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
CATER
I have Vargas P1 tmr so I can see if he has a bigass Chicken Breast box 🤚 😭
DEUCE
We should visit Chicken Breast ome day though
RIDDLE
Oh, that's where you work?
(Y/N)
SHUSH ITS EMBARRASSING 😭
(Y/N)
IT HAS A GOOD PAY BUT GREAT SEVEN WHY IS IT CALLED CHICK AND BREAST
[(Y/N) was temporarily banned!]
ACE
HAHA L BOZO
TREY
I think Ace has competition for "most bans in a day"
ACE
WELL I'M NOT FUCKING LOSING
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
RIDDLE
This is not something to be competitive about.
DEUCE
Fuck yeah competition!!
[Deuce was temporarily banned!]
CATER
Ngl I'm kinda worried for the IQ of our first years...
(Y/N)
I'M A FRICK FRACKING SECOND YEAR YOU TWAT
RIDDLE
Right, we would be the same age.
(Y/N)
Nahhh bro I'm actually 21 I just never graduated.
CATER
😰
ACE
EWWW OLD PERSON
ACE
GET SHIT ON
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
TREY
Yeah they're 17, so the same age as you.
(Y/N)
STOP RUINING MY FUN 🛑
CATER
PLS STOP WITH YOUR LYING RIDDLE'S TURNING RED 😭
(Y/N)
YEAH WELL
(Y/N)
YOUR MOM
CATER
MY MOM'S DEAD🤩😭
(Y/N)
.
ACE
😟
DEUCE
Wh
TREY
...are you okay?
CATER
(Y/N)
Bro I can lend an ear whenever ya need¿¿
(Y/N)
I can be your therapist fr fr
RIDDLE
Somehow I believe that you are the last person anyone would want to have as a therapist
RIDDLE
Second to Ace, maybe.
ACE
RUDE
(Y/N)
EXCUSE ME I WOULD BE THE BEST THERAPIST IN THE C O U N T R Y
ACE
THERES ONLY LIKE 1000 PEOPLE LIVING HERE STFU
(Y/N)
AS I SAID, BEST IN THE COUNTRY
(Y/N)
I WOULD GIVE JUICE BOXES AT THE END OF EVERY SESSION
CATER
WORD????
CATER
I'M SOLD
CATER
WHERE DO I SIGN UP
(Y/N)
📜🪶⬅️
ACE
Nahhhh bro pulled out a quill 💀
DEUCE
"Sir Diamond, hath thou beenst feeling in good health during thees recent times?"
ACE
"Perhaps thee could try our highly effective arsenic antidepressants?"
CATER
ARSENIC YUM 😋
(Y/N)
Dw bbygirl I got yo back during your rights AND wrongs ☝️‼️‼️
CATER
I feel so loved 🥺 💕
(Y/N)
*straps you onto the electric chair*
CATER
😰 HELLO???
CATER
Kinda kinky tho—
[Cater was temporarily banned!]
RIDDLE
Why would you put him into an electric chair??
(Y/N)
Haha zip zappy go brr
CATER
THIS IS MOTHERLESSLY MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR
ACE
SHIT THEY GON GO FOR RIDDLE NEXT THEN 😂
[Ace was temporarily banned!]
TREY
I'm going to go talk to him.
[Trey is offline!]
(Y/N)
Damn they got our g Ace
(Y/N)
Uh
(Y/N)
You want therapy too, Raddle? 😎
RIDDLE
Perhaps, but not today
RIDDLE
As Housewarden I must do my rounds to ensure that no students are breaking the Queen of Heart's Laws.
RIDDLE
Goodbye, everyone
[Riddle is offline!]
Deuce
..Damn
CATER
DUDE I JUST HEARD THE LOUDEST SCREECH EVER FROM UPSTAIRS
CATER
WAS THAT ACE????!!
DEUCE
It was 😭 I think there's a dent in our room's door
DEUCE
Trey dragged him out of his hiding spot
(Y/N)
LEMME GUESS HIS HIDING SPOT
(Y/N)
It was 🧐
(Y/N)
THE CLOSET 😼
DEUCE
Yep 😭
(Y/N)
HA I'M A GENIUS
(Y/N)
K but it's getting late so I should prolly start closing the restaurant 💀
CATER
Have fun closing Chicken Breast 👍
(Y/N)
PISS OFF
DEUCE
Byee!!
(Y/N)
BYEEEEEEE DEUCEY-CHAN 🥹💕💞😘🫶
DEUCE
😟
CATER
BYEEEE (Y/N)-IE PIE😘😘💋💋💋💋
(Y/N)
Bye Katie 🦵😒
CATER
Heart been broke so many times 💔
CATER
This is favouritism :((
(Y/N)
JKJK I LOVE YOU ❤️❤️ BYE CATIE CANOE MY HONEY BUN SCROTUM CRUNCHY POO 🤞🥰😘😍😍😍
DEUCE
SCROTUM??
[(Y/N) is offline!]
▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌
Someone new will appear next chapter 😉